take a fucking sip babe

this used to be for collecting rare & legendary posts but now it’s just stuff I wanna show my fiance

[animentality]

[arrowandaxe]

[bee-in-your-binnet]

Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated

[spreadassholesdotorg]

[perromago]

I didn't know there was a kitty version of this image..

[escuerzoresucitado]

[asskylosaurus]

You know I turned on the sound just to help me understand what was going on and I guess it was exactly what it looked like.

[geeoharee]

Ooh! Spot the industrial safety device! The worker has to press a 'stab the cheese' button with both hands. This is because if they're doing that, neither of their hands can be within the cheese stabbing zone.

[thetablestspoon]

This cheese is being stabbed safely

[lizlemondyke]

it’s funny cuz it’s true

[official-doctor-robotnik]

Fixing a sickening Sonic meme.

^ See how insensitive this hog is? Disgusting. Don't worry, period havers. The Eggman Empire has got your back.

There we go. Much better!

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[27thfirefly]

nurse: doctor... the patient is flatlining... we dont have nearly enough yuri to sustain them!

doctor: tch... i guess theres no choice...!!

*doctor pulls in nurse for a tender embrace and a beat passes before they kiss passionately*

*pulse starts again*

nurse: i cant believe it...! doctor youve saved yet another patient through your unorthodox methods!

doctor, looking out the window to avoid the nurse's adoring gaze: suppose i have...

doctor, thinking: sigh... will i ever get to approach her not out of obligation but out of ...love...;!

nurse, thinking: i hope she doesnt realize ive been manufacturing the yuri shortage to engineer these kinds of scenarios

moral of the story: the doctor was a woman

[shegayonmygirl]

[sergal]

my favorite mashup emoji is this one and i wish it was real so bad

[coastal-mangos-one]

[roaldamundsen]

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

[roaldamundsen]

?

[roaldamundsen]

can people stop saying insane things on this post

[hotvampireadjacent]

https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw

[littlemisspipebomb]

ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.

[baronfulmen]

"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.

Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.

Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.

We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."

I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.

[theehorsepusssy]

[bitsandpieces1024]

[targetedknowledge]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

[goofda]

“Imma destroy that pussy” my friend 😔

[classicalcanvas]

The greenhouse (1876) by Pierre-Auguste Renoir

[machinot]

What are you topping these with???🤪

GREEN PAINT DOES NOT EXIST. YOU CANNOT USE GREEN PAINT

[cassia-thots]

[bill-blake-fans-anonymous]

In King Ludwig II’s defense, if I had basically infinite discretionary funds, was accountable to absolutely no one, and was king of a country full of picturesque landscapes, you couldn’t stop me from building myself a big gay fairytale castle on a mountaintop either.

[bill-blake-fans-anonymous]

This post is spreading and I feel bad about it because it contains misinformation, so for the record: Ludwig II did not in fact have infinite discretionary funds. He only acted as if he did. He never dipped into the public coffers for his building projects, but he spent his own fortune extravagantly and borrowed heavily from everyone he could think of. By 1885, the year before his death, he was 14 million marks in debt.

[insomniac-arrest]

~ ✨✨ 14 million marks in debt ✨✨~

[centrally-unplanned]

I always find this inspiring because try to name another prince of a German state. What did the rulers of Hamberg do? The Grand Duchy of Hesse? Gone with the wind, no one knows them anymore. But Mad Lad Ludwig built a top 5 most famous castle in the entire world. Money is fake, castles are real. Go broke and die like a winner.

[the-barefoot-hatter]

EXCUSE ME, this is still wrong. He built 3.

Neuschwanstein, literally the inspo for the castles in Disney's Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella

Hohenschwangau, the practical castle

Linderhof, the final, the smallest, and the MOST fab.

Every room is incredible and the park is beautiful, but shoutout to The Bedroom, the biggest room

The Hall of Mirrors, which he probably wandered by candle light because he was a serious night owl

The Dining Room, with a wishing table that lowers to the kitchen, and rises with a crank, returning magically full of food

The Venus Grotto, constructed for the sole use of Ludwig to larp to his heart's content

A full artificial cave, it features a waterfall, fake stalactites, and a custom-designed swan boat floating on an artificial lake. The first electricity in Bavaria was generated here, to change the colors of the stage lights and to power Ludwig's fountain and wave machine.

Now THAT'S ~ ✨✨ 14 million marks in debt ✨✨~

[marzipanandminutiae]

I love that- and I cannot emphasize this enough -none of this was tax money

the public paid for zero of his fairytale castle hobby

rare European monarch W as far as spending money lavishly goes