What Are You, Autistic!? (SATIRE)

An Aspie satirical comedy blog. Highlighting the best parts of having autism! We also parody the dumb (but sometimes amusing) things that people say to other autistic people; and educate. Run by a 22-year-old NJ undergrad psychology student with Asperger Syndrome. Will follow fellow Aspies. :) Feel free to contribute! My comedy website: www.drcomedian.com Or my Facebook!: www.facebook.com/danielleryercomedian Unless otherwise stated, I claim ownership of none of the rights to any of the pictures, except where otherwise stated. All of the jokes are mine, also, unless otherwise stated. =P

[areyouautistic]

Never ask someone, "how ignorant can you be?"

"Funny, you didn't LOOK autistic."

"Funny, you never LOOK like an idiot."

[areyouautistic]

"EDFGHDFGJ"

"Why don't you make eye contact?"

"..."

"Yeah, it's kinda a shame for us non-Asperger people that they don't feel like looking at us."

[areyouautistic]

“You have ASPERGERS!?"

"Yes. I was diagnosed young."

"But, I've heard people with Aspergers are so rude, unbecoming, they don’t consider how others feel! They lack social skills too! They can't keep any inappropriate comments inside their head! And you seem to be really cool!”

"Um, pleased to meet you, too...?"

[areyouautistic]

There may be at least one risk to having an autistic friend.

You might want to be aware of the following: Compulsive routine behaviors such as efficiently organizing your entire room while you're combing your hair in the adjacent bathroom. It may startle you into a coma once you return, but you're more likely to realize they did a really good job before that.

The benefits outweigh the risks.

[areyouautistic]

Time now to prep for Autistic Appreciation Month next year - HOW?

"I'm surveying numerous people. How do you celebrate your autism?"

"I make dinner."

"I like it when people clap while I dance...so that's what I do..."

"You interrupted me just to ask what I'm doing...why? Isn't that kind of trivial?"

[areyouautistic]

In YOUR experience, huh...? ;)

When an Aspie visits a psychiatrist.

"In the past you have appeared very anxious. Maybe you'd like anti anxiety medicine."

"And now, the past is in the past. I'm glad to have recovered."

"In my experience, the past predicts the future."

"Aw, doc, turn that frown upside down!"

(Images from film Analyze This)

[areyouautistic]

"To all the people who used to call me weird in high school..."

"You were right..."

[areyouautistic]

"When a neurotypical says... 'you're really smart' ...and you can't tell if they're joking or serious."

"Come on now, dude."

[Submitted by John L.!]

[areyouautistic]

"Yeah, that's a good point. Maybe I should stop talking to myself."

[areyouautistic]

"Autism? Don't you think it's time to stop making EXCUSES for why you're not functioning in the real world?"

"Sorry, can't hear you. Still a scientist."

[areyouautistic]

I'm glad, aren't you?

"You'll never get a job in the real world..."

"Nope, I guess not. Oh well."

[areyouautistic]

There's a reason some gifs need to loop.

"You have Asperger Syndrome? I never would've known!"

"My collection of books on Freud and Jung are in here somewhere..."

[areyouautistic]

I'm just gonna say...what...?

"Rain Man had autism too....... how long did it take you to learn to become like him??"

"I have never seen Rain Man."

[areyouautistic]

You asked for my opinion, didn't you?

You know, next time you shouldn't ask me my opinion on your outfit. Maybe you wouldn't be so embarrassed if I decide to give you my honest opinion.

(Gif from Clerks 2)

[areyouautistic]

YOU NEED TO TRY HARDER

"I'm trying to learn about autism. I know autism does not mean you're stupid...uhhh...right...?"

"Sorry, but you don't get ANY cake. TTYL."

[areyouautistic]

There really is a difference, but it's really hard to tell

I saw this on the internet. As a psychology major, I have to say, sometimes it really is a confusing line.

A psychiatrist takes my money A psychologist takes my money And a psychopath is probably going to take my money

In the end, the only difference is that you're the one getting the diagnosis.

[areyouautistic]

A NEW DSM DISORDER DIAGNOSIS THING OMG

There's a new page in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Made-up Disorders!! (I wrote it in with magic marker!!!!)

It's called "Asphole Syndrome"!

Or, simply, being an ASPHOLE!

It's when you say you have Asperger Syndrome and exploit the name of an often misrepresented/oft discriminated group of generally peaceful intellectuals in order to be an ASSHOLE!