argent

we should send every pitchfork editor to the glue factory

[argentcochon]

in honor of the sharks prospects being asked how many apples tall they are i am bringing back this:

THAT BITCH IS NOT 3 APPLES TALL

[aenigmatica]

the habs are ragebaiting me sign arber xhekaj already fuck

[darkpurple12]

Mack opening Instagram

“It’s not even that good 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄”

[lailesbian]

they all looked sooo good

[guiltfactory]

he's fucking the guy that taught him how to tie his shoes

[cynids]

nhl offseason in a nutshell so far

bottom ten team: we have just paid a player that no one has ever heard of TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS

jason robertson: no i dont want to be paid 15 million dollars by YOU. who want me tho? no fr who want me?

ducks: we HATE our group

canes: we LOVE our group

half the league: captains? anyone want to be the new captain? no?

kings: i am going to pay a random 40-year-old 8 million dollars a year. yes this is getting us a cup

kraken: well fuck me i guess. worth a shot

connor bedard: i am going to KILL MYSELF

mike grier: well they dont call me big money mike for no reason. you get 8 mil and you get 8 mil and everyone gets 8 mil except for the guys who were alr on the team!

panthers + also gleb for some reason: i am going to KILL EVERYONE ELSE

habs: oui oui puppies! and kittens! and rainbows! and every one of them gets a choco chunk cookie (reasonable contract and term).

danny briere to his ex situationship: "hey... time to run it back... no fr tho... u still want me?" *crickets* "ok watch me money spread. you want me now?"

everyones goalies for some reason: "bye"

elliotte FUCKING friedman: your favorite fourth liner just got sent to HELL for future considerations

dylan larkin: hey so about that trade

[opencasketbasketfries]

@cynids your tagsssss I can’t leave them out 💀

[kitnita]

also i know objectively that if another team's star player was in stalled out contract negotiations for a year just to settle at the last minute on 1 year x $12m days before an arbitration hearing i Would find it dumb & hilarious and would perhaps even delight in making fun of them because perhaps they'd deserve to be made fun of. However. everyone else should stay out of the stars' business on this one for me personally please & thank you. robo as a tyler rookie is simply exercising his right to wait for his mom (tyler) to die (have his $9.8m get taken off the books) so he can get his inheritance (long-term contract) which is a nuance that everyone who does not know our cap is forgetting 😔

[moonshynecybin]

pedro and fermin rhetorically abandoning their previous rossi/marquez war allegiances the second it suits their career is honestly awesome

[teex]

71 days til flyers hockey returns !!

[suokiekko]

everyone's brining up the "we pee together" quote again and i have to say that personally i think the most underrated part about that whole thing is that one video where someone asks them about it and goes "i don't remeber which one of you said it" and jamie instantly goes "i would never say that" like thats fucking peak comedy to me. like i would never say that but this fucking clown of my best friend did and now i can never live that down. they're everything to me truly

[argentcochon]

the “common people” discourse might actually be degrading my gray matter.

“americans don’t get the song that’s why they’re making it about being alt” are people so dense that they think the uk is that only place ever that has rich people cosplaying as the working class? that is a near-universal in individualist, protestant countries. the carhartt wearing, pickup truck driving creative directors of silverlake aren’t brits. the wannabe gangster teens from lausanne aren’t brits.

when not being self-made is treated with disdain, people will work to minimize their background to make their achievements feel more impressive. we’ve all met the kids who pretend to be on scholarships and barely getting by at university when there’s a paid of credit card in their wallet. this phenomenon is a hallmark of the upper-middle class in the entire anglosphere.

please remove your head from your own ass and realize that some kids who didn’t listen to the whole song and made a video on tiktok are indicative of an entire population being completely ignorant to a very common issue, sung about in some of the clearest text possible. people from the uk do not have some fundamental understanding of a socioeconomic phenomenon that magically unlocks a secret meaning in the most popular pulp song of all time, invisible to americans.

[argentcochon]

is anyone else getting ten trillion scientologists on their instagram feed or is it just me

[comicsguy]

we are so desperate for long from media that the hole left by 22 episode tv shows now is being filled by an 84 game sports season

[mybeautifuldarktwistedshane]

You'll never get away from the sound of the woman who told the whole world you pee together

[etheltempest]

[multiseb21]

wow I can’t believe they’re gonna make diogo and david mud wrestle for the last factory honda spot at the london press conference even though david already has a factory honda contract and santi shoved up his ass. very cruel but this is liberty media’s world we’re living in

[the-quasar-hero]

Man who hates the very concept of life and all living beings: I should design portal websites for colleges and job applications