Barefoot Being

Underneath the Willow Tree

[argostruth]

[argostruth]

Lion Caged in Snow

Big Paws Amber Eyes

He Roars Cat Sound

[argostruth]

Traffic Stops

Traffic never stops. All the lights red and yellow streams in darkness.

I see through venom, snake eyes. Digging into asphalt with high beamed uncertainty.

Hands Constricting the wheel thoughts screech forward spinning yo-yos in the mind.

Scanning the ridge line for a key to unlock time and set me free from the serpent coiled inside.

Im lost in information, sitting in a car trapped in my own imagination.

Today Im a snake, a cobra spitting words mistaking poems for pathways and words as keys to the end.

Tomorrow will be different.

As long as I wake up set to begin looking at traffic with different perspective, like a road map leads to a unknown destination.

Oh, this side winding 8000 piece puzzle inside of my head.

I’ll end this passage right here, standing talk in front of my fear.

I’ll score a million messages but only listen to two.

The peace I will forever hold.

Me and you.

[argostruth]

MADE

Stuck in the middle of transition, engine revved but now it’s just stuck wishing.

Caution contents are hot. Sit down with a mocha, whipped up, self-taught.

Such a fine motive. But…the mind rains a lot.

and she burns like a sun, cries waves of relief from behind pine trees still covered in green.

I hit the pad with a pen. mentally ready to write out a win.

A lion without a pride. I am on the search for iron.

Cast the damned tin man aside.

Switched the tune just to finish strong, I’ll know when I belong when my backs to the wrong.

I’ll patiently wait till the timing is right, no tables worth dancing round when kings music is his own lonely might.

So keep me from nothing. I will handle the fall.

Cuz I never felt taller then much anything at all.

And now as the songs go on changing on there own. I get along with the notion that this world isn’t mine all alone.

One step one jump and I’m running again. Barefoot in the breeze I’m floating with the melody I’ve made.

Sand soldiers, clay bricks and these moats keep my mind working to remain burnt amber wings like monarch summers and sweet grasses in the breeze.

Treading water for more miles then I’d like to admit. It all has me tired, dreaming of the day I can leave it for some benefit.

I’m no wishing well, I’m self-made in the heat of the fire. Now when I let go I’ll live in the glow.

Thirty years ago. I was broken. Taken my life up till now to find the healing words, tonight I’ll be strong.

I’ll stay strong forever. Don’t you worry. Cant you see everything is just weather. Stay strong sunshine. Together we’re better.

[argostruth]

Repeat

It’s like this world is on repeat

Driving down the highway your way in a Porsche without brakes

If behavioral therapy is all that it takes, brandish a bullet and shoot for high stakes.

I’m so tired, and your drive doesn’t make me want to change my ways.

I’m exhausted yet the price goes down when this kind of love is all the exchange.

I can’t see, born blind in the middle of winter. Can’t you see I’m a sailor, singing songs of crescent suns and starlit new beginnings.

The model is fixed ever changing like gravity. The time it still ticks frozen. The sun always smiles somewhere. Somehow.

X2

[argostruth]

Dark Outside

It’s still dark outside, the silence loud as white noise.

It’s still cold, feet to tile like penguins waddle.

But I’ll hold onto what I have always kept close

Memories. Keep me warm when all else turns cold.

Dancing like silent songs, clouds of oil paint my mind

Crimson red, brilliant blues, burning orange, and honey yellow.

Valleys to peaks, forever seeking slumber never reaching sleep.

I lay in down upon the hills wide awake counting clouds

One. Two. Three.

Quietly learning, forever learning, my love to keep.

[argostruth]

[argostruth]

The Hill

Sat on the Hill of at Catherine’s college.

just a kid, small brain big knowledge

ran barefoot in the breeze

hearing the buzz of the bee’s

skipping stones by the river

thick Skulled broken and dull

I was lost in the current of yesterdays pains

Id run at all cost if it meant I’d be lost

been down to that mighty river

sat on the bank of her power

nodding my head and skipping my feet

It took me too many years to rewind the repeat

I love again underneath the setting red sun

barefoot and strong, I belong

[argostruth]

Frozen

I haven’t written in a long time. hands frozen, along with my mind. Tired and hungry, these legs not strong anymore. I have to adapt, have to grow. I have implode to learn how too fold. And I am gifted in so many ways, I’m lifted, I’ve lifted to many astray. I’m writing in soft journals hard times and old truths.

How best to define bulletproof.

Does proof really exist, does this roof cave on all that admit.

One thing I know for shore, when music hides my world gets so much bigger, when I find music abstractions so much clearer. I’m dancing in the wake of the giants, flying in the song of the birds, I’m no longer afraid. This song this sound, beats beautiful words.

[argostruth]

McCloud Kennels 

DDR (East German) and German Showline German Shepherd Breeder EST 2020

[argostruth]

Wall

 There is so much you can learn from the brick wall

meticulously placed and self created in such a happy-less place.

there is so much you can learn when you burn, yearning for solvent.

questions like bricks build up in the mind, blocking out the passage of time

and you still yearn for the answers you ran towards barefoot and shirtless, a summertime child innocent and free.

who to love, who to trust, who to give too, who deserves the dirt and the rust vulnerability .

There is so much you can learn from the brick wall.

But who will teach you.

There is much you can learn from the brick wall.

meticulously placed and self created.

yearning for a solvent; a solution in time, 

who will you let teach you.

perspective from the other side. 

[argostruth]

[argostruth]

ME

If you really knew me you could feel the tension I know, the weight in my breath as I exhale. You would see through the façade, and the furrowed brow. You would see past the high expectations the outspoken critique. You would know the sting of the self-judgment within, as I will forever journey through life on the quest for a more holistic understanding of self.  If you knew me you would know how it feels to be the third burden of two adult children addicted to meth and Benzo’s. You’d understand the feeling of growing up in functional chaos, the third child adoptee of two of the most caring individuals this world has known. You would understand how it feels to lose a sister, as she finds her biological family and moves out at age sixteen, you’d understand the pain of watching your parents cry feel the burn of loss; you are thirteen and unseen. You’d know how it feels to be born uncertain of the lifelong consequences your biological parents struggles will forever paint upon your ability to concentrate, to attach. You would understand that my greatest fear is to be imprisoned by someone else’s understanding of who I am, who I can be, and who I was the isolation that comes with that stigmatization that box labeled “alone”. You would know how my mind works and how a single ant, a fluffy cloud in the sky, a beam of sunlight can become a novel full of imagination. If want to know me I can be understood as passion.  A passionate human being, You would know that I am driven and I am much more than anyone can truly ever understand including myself as I know me I will forever learn, and forever grow on my quest for self and understanding.

[argostruth]

Tap water

Its cold.

tap water cold.

this glass I hold.

Its cold too.

I get up bare footed.

I fall to my knees.

Can you see the colors I am seeing.

Blues and purples and greens.

When I stop walking I’ll find that warmth again

When I can no longer breath I’ll sleep soundly.

This life will always be my enemy

its cold.

tap water cold.

this glass I hold

Its cold too.

[argostruth]

Clock

The clock ticks but time drips like waterfalls hit the slopes of rock canyon walls

corrosive. 

burning like a match wooden stick veiled in black turned ash 

now the flame begins to catch. 

And here it is, without pressure no diamonds are left to dig.

He made a wish list of all the people with whom he’d like to sit with put it down to gain some distance

 picked it up thick with dust wishlist turned to shit list people’s names just stuck

And if you missed this in the message I write I may not be the smartest but like a bulldog I’m stubborn in the lessons I learn, I won’t pick a fight in fact I’d rather just sleep eat and be liked my genetics don’t let me loosen the bite until the objective is earned and the situations alright. 

I realize now I've been burdened with a meddle I’m a champion genetic anomaly Combine psychotic and delirious, reactive humorous and way to fucking serious add a whole lot of resentment and disdain to the family name, and from the storm is born a child and well his name.... its me,,, a dude as twisted as the trunk as broken as the branches of both weeping willow trees growing adjacently in between his heart and his malfunctioning spleen . 

  and lets see what kind of strange we can make, lets breed homeless with a heavy dose of heroine hopefully produce a heroine amidst a hurricane of relationship decay and embarrassment. I’ll give myself a meddle its the only award I can trust, come from one broken man to a bust,  I have lost so much of what I’ve loved fucked up so much of what I ever could have understood and all that was to be left I confused with my own defense, paranoia and   meddling in the question,  if we’re all laced in god’s grace how come victory just became pleasant suggestion instead of a resting place

How come defeat tastes like blood and i’m sprinting uphill with wobbly knees an ear full of “hey dude your way too angry, your way too judgmental, you gotta love your family, shit stop being such fucking handful already, nobody will ever love me do you see yourself in the mirror your so ugly your so ugly”. 

Now I’m going to send this in an email, I am going to sound crazy, But when do you fight it and when do you let go, If you can’t like it then shit why do I always have to alter my ego. Why am I the weirdo, can’t you tell I can see it in you face the way you alter how you talk to me on the phone how you compare me to the fear you own, you bow down to pain you know nothing off, I’m just here catering to the distance your pity frames and you remain a spectator as I run this race, running trying to catch up and level the distance between love and difference. Pumping steroids to increase the chance i’ll hit the Finnish line with enough time in this crazy life to become a better man. 

You see The more difference the less reference every one else has  for understanding and the darker becomes the night.

 Don’t break my legs at the starting line if your not prepared to crawl this 100 meter dash towards pride,  “your so ugly, Your So Ugly, Your so Ugly, Stop” 

[teesadutta]

[shitmystudentswrite]

Meaning

Without meaning, there can be no meaning