Hello everyone, I’m sure a lot of people don’t remember me because I change aliases as my hobby.
I’m just typing this in the tumblr void, looking at my account and remembering the hardest, most difficult part of my life.
A lot has been happening in my life, I’ve been diagnosed to be special up in my head in more ways than one(if you know you know), ocd and bipolar too! I take my meds daily and started a new job which I really enjoy the environment and people of.
I have a boyfriend, we’ve been together for 2+ years and like wow!!! My ass had my first kiss with him at 19 LOL, he’s been my everything and my world and gawwwwh I couldn’t ask for someone better.
I’ve been getting into old hobbies too like music, reading, gaming and watching trashy tv shows like jersey shore and adult swim.
Looking back in my teen years up until I turned 19… I look back at my account and I’m like woah wtf. That is NOT me, I’ve grown more confident, assertive, passionate and lowk a dick because I don’t take shit from people.
I look at the characters I held so dear, embarrassingly, I find that my personality, little gimmicks and spontaneous outlook on life closely mirror the ones I watched and worshipped as a child, a child who lacked the confidence to speak, be free, be a kid and not forced to grow up in an environment where I believe I’m by myself pondering if I will even make it to 20, let alone 21.
Well fuck you little bitch, I made it to 21!!! And more to come!!
I’ve realised my life is far from over and I will achieve even better by each passing day as I grow older and more sexayyyyyy as my bf likes to put it, I’ve done a lot of mistakes in my youth, I fucked up, wrong crowds, had some of the worst fears become true but I kept on pushing to see the light, give myself a reason to wake up in the morning, for me, the reason was to gain my independence but accepting that people do love me and care for me, to be there for my 2 crackhead puppies, my friendships and now my partner who I promised I will spend my life with, sickness and in health.
Whoever is reading this, young, highly emotional and wanting to give up because you believe your life is a waste and not worth the pain you’re feeling, I want to let you know that you’re only so young, you have one life, use it. Do stupid shit, stay up a night with your friends online gossiping about internet drama, look forward to a future, even if that means hitting your 20s, getting a low paying job, hell, just pushing through the next day to show how strong you are, fuck everybody else.
As soon as you become an adult, no one really gives a fuck, we wake up, do our jobs, look forward to the weekend to spend with your friends and family and boom, you survived another day and that’s more than enough.
Don’t expect to be some Messiah and force your life to be meaningful to an external extent, don’t expect to cure cancer with a history degree, you living though life already means the world to someone else, even if you don’t know it.
Live life the way you want, don’t force yourself to make a name, enjoy life, live in the present, do whatever your heart desires, sometimes it’s best to have a good time instead of a hard time.
Ps. I’ve been binging, Rick and Morty religiously, I am obsessed with this show after making a deal with my bf:
We watch all back to the future movies and I watch ur silly tv show. Needless to say, I have a favourite to add to my long roster of favourite characters and a sassy brat is one of their features.
