Where are the Superman baby trapping Batman fics? Like Supes 1st meets him and his entire being is like, hmm, think of that end credit scene in Superman where’s he staring at the wall. There’s something about this Batman that intrigues him. Then they meet and it’s the usual, get out of my city bs. But his being is like, this is a test to prove himself. And he doesn’t know why, just that he has to prove that he’s competent, etc to Batman. Cue him talking to Lois about it and she laughs and teases him about his man crush. And they keep meeting and he keeps trying to help Batman while also not stepping on his toes, like he also is unconsciously thinking that Batman is proving himself to him.
And obviously he’s stronger and has powers and faster (super fast processing speed plus he’s a damn good investigative journalist, so he’s not dumb) but he sees all of Batman’s other skills and of course he’s impressed.
Then Clark meets Bruce. Think coffee shop meet cute vibes. Like they just bump into each other. And Clark is bumbling and clumsy and Bruce is like no worries. No need to buy back my coffee or whatever he spilled but Clark is just so apologetic and Bruce is like, eh he’s hot, why not.
And they end up chatting over coffee. Not much paps since it is Metropolitis and Bruce is somewhat dressed down. And they have such a great time that Bruce is like, huh at 1st I wanted to flirt and maybe bed this hottie but he also seems smart and doesn’t quite react to me being famous Bruce Wayne. And Clark recognised him but figured if he was at some random coffee shop, he probably just wanted to have a non paps “normal” day and while chatting with him, realises that he’s actually really smart.
And they end up exchanging numbers and developing friendship over phone. And of course Clark doesn’t think of it as anything so he tells Lois all about his new friend and she still jokes that he has another man crush but also not really joking.
And while this is happening, Supes and Bats kinda develop a working relationship of sorts, i.e. Bats realising the Supes isn’t going anywhere and begrudgingly accepting his help. And Supes would never peak under his cowl coz of course he’s not rude and respects his fellow hero.
And then Bats gets injured and Supes had to take off his cowl, it’s damaged or whatever, to save him and sees that it’s Bruce. And he’s so injured and where should he take him? He can’t go to hospital and do folks in Bruce’s life know he’s Bats? so he takes him to the fortress.
And when the Fortress scans him, it’s like compatibility confirmed and also heals him. Supes thought it meant compatibility with the system, as in, yes we can heal him. And it takes a while, few days maybe and Supes physically cannot leave him and Lois calls and he tries to explain but can’t quite. And she’s like huh, maybe it was more than a crush.
And when Bruce awakens in an alien ice castle with a dog “guarding” him and not allowing him to leave (lovingly but it’s Krypto so…), he thinks he’s been kidnapped and then the robots (Gary) come in and start talking medical talk to him. And then Supes flies in and is all over him checking that he’s ok, and calls him Bruce, he’s like hold up, why am I here? What did you do to me? Why did you kidnap me? How do you know my namer? And he tells him he’s Clark and Bruce is like was that some kind of long con? Has the alien been kidnapping people and taking them to study or something in his fortress. And Clark is like, you were injured and I had to save you, didn’t know where to bring you, didn’t want to put you, etc.
Bruce is like, hmmm, ok thanks I’m going home now but Clark doesn’t want him to leave coz he’s not at optimal health, etc plus it’s cold outside and how would he get back. Bruce eventually convinces him to take him back with promises that he’ll have his own doctors look at him, etc.
And they go back and Supes and Bats kind of go back to how it was but Bruce distanced himself. And Clark gets sad and low key depressed and Lois sees that he’s drifting away and prepares a this isn’t working, we should take a break and expects some push back (she had a whole list prepared) but he just resignedly accepts it and watches her leave.
And Clark keeps trying to reach out to Bruce but gets brushed off and Bats pretends that part of him doesn’t exist when they work together (only when absolutely necessary). And yes Clark could just “gently” fly him back to the fortress and patiently explain why he should stay in touch but that wouldn’t be respecting his friend’s? autonomy, etc
So he just keeps trying until one day they’re working a case and Supes is a bit off and towards the end, he kind of collapses and Bats freaks out and when he comes to, Clark says he’ll just go to the fortress and check what’s wrong. He can’t fly though, he basically collapsed again and Bats gets his jet and heads north? And Supes wakes up enough to get them inside and when Gary scans him, it says he’s experiencing some kryptonian word (means rejection of mate or something) and Bats asks how to fix him and the fortress asks if he’s offering (coz he’s basically the reason he’s in this state) and Bats is like sure? what do I have to do. And it sounds like some kind of transfusion so he’s like, well he’s been not evil dictator-y so far so why not.
Cue alien advanced science getting to work on Clark and starting to grow a baby.
And then he stabilises, Bruce leaves and then when Clark is better (coz his mate obviously accepted him and agreed to have a kid so he’s fine now) like the next day or something he texts Bruce to say thanks and they slowly resume their pre reveal chats.
And then a few weeks pass and something happens and they are both back at the fortress and they both find out at the same time that Clark is expecting and Clark is shocked pikachu face and Bruce is like, oh I thought he liked me, my bad, let me suffer in silence and say congrats.
And the Gary is like, will ur new mate be moving in here? And Clark is still too stunned to speak but Gary was talking to Bruce. And Bruce is like wait what and Gary is like are you really going to shirk your responsibilities mister baby daddy. And Bruce is like, say what now? I did not do baby daddy things with Clark.
And Gary exasperatedly sighs and says that’s so primitive. You obviously agreed to kryptonian word and they realise they meant the transfusion and now Bruce is upset because did Clark trick him. OMG, maybe this how the harem thing works, he kidnaps people and steals their dna. 😱
And Gary is like, rolling his eyes like that’s the dumbest thing ever. You were kryptonian word for compatible and Supes brought you here so obviously he chose you and there was obviously some kind of falling out/misunderstanding which you both resolved when Bats brought him back and agreed to the transfusion thingy.
Then cue, Bruce deciding to accept the baby and by extension Clark because he is definitely not a deadbeat dad. And he moves into the manor, takes a leave of absence from work and they slowly fall for each other while waiting for the baby to arrive.
And at the end, when Clark walks in on Bruce and their baby bought sleeping, he feels a deep sense of peace and contentment and realises that this was what that initial feeling was leading up to.
And wouldn’t it be funny if Gary didn’t mention the kryptonian instincts at play because surely Kal isn’t that dumb and definitely did not skip that required reading and obviously has made the connection. And it isn’t until Kara shows up to meet the baby that she casually mentions, oh you found your kryptonian word for mate. Cool, I guess the fairy tales are real. Cue all the chaos that causes.
I just really want Clark to baby trap Bruce. Send me fic recs if they exist please 🙏🏾
baratheonpilled
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