Chekhov’s Gum

Life is chewing me up to advance the plot. 30 something sentient cactus. Professional ferret legger

[shamebats]

I wish people were as scared of getting into a car accident as they are of being true crime'd. Maybe then they wouldn't be on their phones while driving.

[sailorbrazil]

thursday..... and i bet you wish you were her

[sillystigmata]

I have got to get killed.

[finnglas]

when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they weren’t really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

“…it’s a cock and a pussy, Jules,” she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.

[finnglas]

I love how every June this one gets dug up and passed around again, lmao.

[finnglas]

oh no is this what we’re doing now

[finnglas]

…relic…

*crumbles and blows away on the wind*

[lighthouseweeper]

This is why I only want to be murdered by a competent serial killer. Don’t let me end up on one of those fucking podcasts

[egregore-engine]

Watching older people struggle to use the McDonald’s kiosk genuinely makes me sad. It’s ever increasingly clear that technology literacy courses provided on a state level as a public service are necessary to assist people with the rapidly changing technology landscape. Society changes fast and rather than abandoning people to individualized solutions we need a socialized response to helping people adjust.

[lighthouseweeper]

But also why is buying 6 nuggets a 10 page process.

No I don’t want to sign in

No I don’t want a meal

No I don’t want to add an ice cream

No I don’t want to round up for charity

I am absolutely certain I don’t want an ice cream, let me pay!!!

[sillystigmata]

I need a doctor all of a sudden.

[lighthouseweeper]

[acidtheater]

Most annoying online emotion is "I have a funny personal anacdote to add to this but it doxxes like all of my personal information"

[creekfiend]

its so awkward when people ask me why i dropped out and i have to be like "inadequate disability support" bc no one wants to hear this. they're always like i thought they had to provide that though isn't it the law? girl you might want to sit down i have some bad news about the litigation-based enforcement of the americans with disabilities act

then if i do say that theyre like, couldnt you sue? well theoretically maybe but not without spending more money than i have and putting myself through absolute hell. so no. no i can't.

[lighthouseweeper]

Not USA based but I once spent an entire day being misdirected around the campus, having my medical privacy invaded and being given the wrong information before giving up and going to my GP and getting her to write me a medical certificate (she was disgusted with them). On top of it all there was a teacher who straight up told me that “maybe you should think about if this is the place for you”.

[sillystigmata]

Can he fill my vial next?

[thoughtportal]

general relativity for babies

[thelittleblackfox]

babies? Hell, I’m an adult this is the clearest and most understandable explaination I’ve ever seen. This book is for anyone

[godlessondheimite]

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

[nobodys-odyssey]

Taylor Swift does this

[godlessondheimite]

no she doesn’t

[nobodys-odyssey]

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

[dancinbutterfly]

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

[eelizabit]

men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..

[cephalapodsblog]

You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say

[auckie]

Men will see a mouse and eat it

[cephalapodsblog]

No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.

[auckie]

A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

[userarmand]

“That's the most contact I've had from him in a while.” [via tvinsider]

[lexdelioncourt]

SOURCE TV INSIDER ON IG

IT'S NEVER BEEN MORE SERIOUS

[tombofnull]

Frog.

[mellifexfarm]

behold my ugly

[lighthouseweeper]

Still cuter than a human newborn