that rootin' tootin' red armadillo

hi im georgia

[showerthoughtsofficial]

The brain is just 8 lbs of meat that sits in complete darkness and plays a video game of what it thinks is the most realistic thing ever.

[willow-wanderings]

it’s 3lbs, not 8. also it’s not really meat, it’s mostly fat with some water and salt. You have a wad of soggy bacon inside your skull. And this blob of gross unprocessed jello somehow manages to run a complex biomechanical suit using less electricity than it takes to work a lightbulb. And people wonder why humans are so fucking weird and have odd experiences that aren’t actually real. I mean, if a bowl of tapioca pudding managed to hallucinate so vividly it invented calculus, it also going “dude, i heard a weird noise and i’m 100% sure it was the ghost of the neighbor’s cat which hasn’t actually died yet” would be just as expected as anything else.

[shadows-and-starlight]

Thanks, I hate it!

[cognizi-remade-deactivated20210]

[curseworm]

pomegranates are proof that god exists and is a sadist

[curseworm]

would a kind and loving god make the most delicious fruit in the world have the tiniest ratio of flesh vs pith? would evolution produce a fruit whose seeds are meant for dispersal, yet are encased in an impenetrable leathery rind? god is real and god hates us

[obamasmomjeans]

Maybe we just need to evolve horse-like teeth

[curseworm]

i dontt want you to say that

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

God made pomegranates as puzzle toys for our enrichment.

[pagesixlovers]

[oddpyromaniac]

The man is a legend agshjdjd

[transloveletter]

Someone's trying to follow me and my mom home, Jesus Christ this is terrifying

[transloveletter]

Ok, just pulled into a fire station.

Word of advice, if someone tries to flag you down on a highway, pointing to the back of your car, there isn’t anything wrong. They want to kill you. Never stop for them.

[transloveletter]

They may try to pin you in a lane on the highway. They won’t let you get ahead of them, they will try to prevent you from getting behind them. Fuck traffic laws. Gun it, throw on your brakes, honk your horn and do not stop. get away from them at all costs. Don’t go home, go to the police or go to a fire station. Explain what happened and have them look over ur car.

[transloveletter]

Reblog this around. Seems like common sense, but also not something that can happen to everyone.

I was on the I-5 in Washington State. The van was white, with blacked out windows. There was graffiti or something on the right side of the van, but I was too scared to read it.

Everyone please be safe, if you are in the Puyallup or Tacoma area, please be even more careful.

[fieldbears]

If you need to pull over, if possible, take the nearest exit and park somewhere well lit with people around. Gas stations, other 24/7 locations.

If a cop’s got their lights on and are trying to pull you over, put your hazards on, pull to the right lane, and slowly drive somewhere public. You can use your cell to call 911, confirm it’s really a cop behind you, reassure the operator you’re just pulling over somewhere safe because you don’t trust the shoulder of the highway etc.

[sleepynegress]

This happened to my mom in DC in the 70's. A strange man was watching her pump gas at the station and she noticed him driving behind her afterwards. She experimented to be sure he was following her. She made a random right and then left turn and he kept up. So, when she got to her homestreet she kept driving and desperately looked for a gas station where she was friendly with the guys there. A group a black guys she knew in passing worked there. Well, once she got there, she said she hopped out of the care in a panic and told them what was happening... So at least three of them went out front and yelled "HEY, MAN!" and the guy sped off. But it's not over yet. They told my mom to hang out for awhile because the man could still be lurking. Since one of them would be getting off soon and would follow to make sure (the knew his make and model and the plates). Sure enough... The man WAS waiting a little ways down the road at a grocery store to start following again... Dude honked a cut a fuss and again he sped off. My mom went to the police station afterwards (the gas station dud vouched for her and gave a description of the guy). So BOTH cars followed my mom home and the station sent a care out to watch her apartment that night. My mom never saw that guy that was following her again, but she is certain he was determined to do her harm at her apartment.

[robinancy]

[bi-bi-richie]

Max is one of the most relatable characters in Stranger Things because when a girl she barely even talks to just showed up at her door asking for advice, girl went so hard. Not only did she give her advice, she was like “babe we’re gonna go get you a whole new wardrobe, get ice cream and do a photo shoot. Fuck your man.” She was literally the equivalent of a drunk girl finding another girl crying in a bathroom

[hungwy]

I WON’T SAY THIS AGAIN.

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

whats wrong with you? you got some sort of……..some sorta syndrome? you got a syndrome or something? youre tryna tell me youve got like, a syndrome

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

[goes to doctor]: whats wrong with me doc. tell me the ‘prognosis’ doctor: well, its looking as if you have some kind of syndrome [thinking] hmm.. thats not good

[quinndolyns-deactivated20220403]

i diagnose you with symptoms syndrome

[quinndolyns-deactivated20220403]

sorry to say but it seems you’ve got problems disorder

[danielcalmdown]

a fuckup boy

[pangur-and-grim]

I cannot bring myself to edit this photo

[pangur-and-grim]

man, I think my low-point was marching into a bank in a cow-patterned crop top demanding to know why my card kept getting declined when I had $300 in my account, only for the man behind the counter to suck his teeth and carefully point out the negative sign in front of the 300

[pangur-and-grim]

obligatory reminder that my patreon is a bastion of idiocy

[logarto]

[charlesoberonn]

The myth of Achilles, but instead of holding him by the heel, Thetis sumberges him fully so that Achilles is completely invulnerable and Thetis has one invulnerable hand.

[charlesoberonn]

She only needs one oven mitt when taking cookies out of the oven.

[aphony-cree]

But there would still be two small parts of him that are vulnerable because they were covered by her fingertips at the time, stopping the water from touching them. Which means those fingertips are also vulnerable on her hand 

Achilles *putting those little round band-aids on two parts of his ankle before battle*

Thetis *knitting fingertip oven mitts for her thumb and forefinger*

This is a Greek comedy I could get behind 

[obaewankenope]

What if she put him in a sack and dunked him in? The water would saturate the sack and soak him and so long as she pulled him out quick, he wouldn't drown. Then they'd have a sack that's invulnerable too and can be used as the most unexpected shield ever.

Imagine Achilles storming Troy with one (1) invulnerable sack for a shield

[adspexi]

thetis just sticks him in one of these bad boys

and swirls him around like a batch of chicken nuggets until he’s invulnerable all over. 

[strongorcbutch-deactivated20220]

Biggest fucking mood.

[sinnahsaint]

They’re also meant for hiltops, not small rooms. Cant get the right reverb with all that echo.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

they’re also meant to make you fight the english. don’t forget that part.

[fool-errant]

My fav bagpipe player was a dude who would go out to the middle of a soccer field near my college apartment on Sunday. No one was using the field and he’d just be out there playing his heart out and the sound were just spread out over the plains. I’d be working on art for class so I’d open the window and listen. I still have fond memories of the day a kid biked up to the edge of the field, ran over to the bagpiper and the music stopped for a moment and as they talked. I couldn’t hear it but I had assumed the worst, that someone had decided to tell him to stop playing. Instead after the pause the musician seemed to nod, readjusted his bagpipes and started belting out the Star Wars theme. 

[veryfunnymemes]

[i-cant-make-a-good-name]

[dandy-boi-ftm]

The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.

[shadowkat678]

Wait…what?

[2fngrsin]

Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄

[skrytch]

[hurleyquinnzel]

imagine thinkin you just gon clown snoop dogg. dude on twitter is booboo the fucking fool