alloromantic person: so do you want to get married when you’re older?
me: ah yes i just love *looks at smudged writing on hand* romans
trying on a metaphor

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@aro-bics
alloromantic person: so do you want to get married when you’re older?
me: ah yes i just love *looks at smudged writing on hand* romans
aro girls!!!!
hey!! its me, ya local aro here to tell you that you not wanting a romantic relationship with someone is totally okay!! if you just want a sexual one then that’s okay! if you dont want either and you just want to have really close friends or a qpr then go for it! romantic relationships dont have to be your cup of tea and you can be happy with a different type of relationship with someone!!!!!
Aromantic + Plants Aesthetic
~Submitted by @evan-404~
Aro culture is never being able to utilize home and housing products that come in sets of two because you either live by yourself and only need one or you live with 20 different friends and only 2 simply won’t cut it
Part 1 | Part 2 |
Aro-manta ray :)
a guide for the questioning aro: a masterlist
there is an exact copy of this masterlist under the “resources” tab on my blog!
finding out your romantic orientation can be a struggle. it’s laborious, intense, and often unrewarding. there’s a dearth of information available to aro and aro spec people, and that’s a shame.
i’ve compiled a list of the links and resources that helped me the most: from the blogs that helped explain what aromanticism was to the positivity blogs that helped me not feel so alone. hopefully this helps someone out, because no one deserves to feel like they’re groping in the dark when it comes to something as vital as your identity.
(if there’s something that helped you out, message me, and i’ll add it to the list!)
definitions: what is aromanticism? (and all the other words associated with it)
AVEN Wiki — fairly basic. kind of clinical, really only for people with zero understanding of aromanticism. good as a tool to help explain to cishets.
About Asexuality and the Ace/Aro Spectrum — goes into the types of attraction that different people can experience. explains the difference between sexual and romantic orientation a little better.
That’s So Aromantic — a psychology today article that is a bit like the last source, but with more attached resources and extra definitions for words like queerplatonic and amatonormativity.
Turtle Analogy — a cute sketchy comic that explains aspec orientations in the easiest possible way.
AACE Club Resources — some definitions about aro spec identities and more resources.
5 Myths About Aromanticism — a buzzfeed article. pretty self-explanatory, but something i had to come to grips with was all the stereotypes about aro people—that we’re cold, unloving, etc. this definitely helped with that.
Meet the Aromantics — stories from actual aros on their experiences with being aro, and what that meant for them. this helped a lot in validating my own feelings and experiences.
Aromantics Just Wanna Be Your Friend — a vice article. combines definition and testimony into one well-written package.
Amatonormativity — a definition, written by the person who coined the word. also includes its own resources that you may find helpful.
am i aromantic?
if you’re here, you’re probably already questioning your romantic orientation, or maybe you’re just trying to learn more about the subject. either way, this list, compiled by anagori, is things they’ve seen in themself and other people. they also have a really good linkspam.
so you’ve realized you’re aromantic. now what?
chances are you’re probably gonna want to read up some more on the subject, whether on aromanticism in general, or queerplatonic relationships, or alterous attraction. here’s a few things to help you do that.
Commitment in Relationships for Celibate Asexuals and Aromantics — this article just resonated with me in a way that i can’t fully explain. in it, the author (of whose pronouns i am unsure of) discusses levels of commitment, and how to attain them in an increasingly amatonormative world.
Experiences of Loving — an analysis on the different types of love and how powerful non-romantic love can be.
related blogs to send asks to/follow any inactive blogs on this list are here purely for the archives.
Aro-Ace Place
Ace and Aro Positivity
Arospec Awareness Week — this links straight to their resources page, which was incredibly helpful. the blog itself is inactive.
Hugs and Squishes — a blog that showcases queerplatonic feelings and relationships, as well as intense platonic feelings. no romance involved.
Queerplatonic and Aromantic Advice — somewhat inactive, but the archive is useful.
Aro Ace Nesting Place
Aro Support — also inactive.
Asexual and Aromantic Support Group
A-Spec People Are Beautiful
Positivity and Reassurance Blog for A-Spec People
(my follow page is also public. i follow mostly aro positivity blogs, with a few blogs that post both aro and ace content, and one or two blogs that post generalized LGBT stuff.)
shout out to aros who are invisible in the “invisible trinity of lgbt+” posts
shout out to aros who dated people and felt really shitty when they couldn’t love their partner back the same and they had no idea why
shout out to aros to dated people and felt weird because their feelings and the feelings their partner had for one another were not congruent
shout out to aros who feel broken because while our society is really focused on sex, it’s probably more focused on romance since most people think you have to be in love or open to loving someone romantically to have sex with them
shout out to aros with “passing privilege” even though The Straights™ reject them just as much as The Gays™
shout out to aros who get asked if they have a s.o at family functions and are pounded endlessly with “oh, why not?” and you can’t explain to them that you will probably never have an s.o because they wouldn’t get it or it would group you into lgbt+ and that could be dangerous
shout out to aros who get harrassed by people in the lgbt+ community for not “really being part of it”
shout out to aros who live in a romance focused world
shout out to aros who are confused because society teaches us from birth that we’re supposed to find The One™ to settle down with and have kids but don’t ever feel the need to find that person or do but totally leave out the romance part
shout out to aros who cling to pacific rim with their lives because drift compatible is the only phrase they have that can describe their very strong platonic feelings without people going “haha. yeah. SURE. plantonic….”
shout out to aros who are still trying to figure out where they fit on the spectrum
shout out to aros who feel like they’re wrong because everyone is so foucused on being in love and dating
shout out to aros bc yall ignored for no good reason and the A in lgbtqiap+ shouldn’t have to stand for three or more things and yall get swallowed up by agender and asexual and get completely ignored. you’re important and you’re valid.
I know a lot of lesbians that used to identify as bi who worried that coming out as a lesbian would contribute to invalidating bisexuality in some way, by making it seem like a “stepping stone” to coming out as gay. I’ve also known bi women who identified as lesbians and changed their labels later, and worried that they were contributing to some kind of idea about how men can ~turn lesbians. I just wanted to say that it’s no individual lesbian or bi women’s responsibility to fix straight people’s perceptions of us. Like, it’s not your duty to serve as a political symbol! It’s your duty to find happiness even if that means changing ur label at some points.
Being gay? That’s punk as fuck.
Being bi? That’s punk as fuck.
Being trans? That’s punk as fuck.
Being pan? That’s punk as fuck.
Being ace? That’s punk as fuck.
Being aro? That’s punk as fuck.
If you struggle with anxiety, overwhelm, or just plain feeling like a failure, I have a mantra for you that’s been really helping me out lately:
Just show up.
I used to skip class because the whole thing was so overwhelming: I had to get dressed in something clean even though I never had the energy to do laundry, walk to school, sit in class for up to three hours, plus pay attention, take notes, and participate in discussion. In reality, I was being a perfectionist, and life would have been a lot easier for me if I had Just Shown Up. By staying home because of my depression and anxiety, I wasn’t giving myself the chance to do any of that. I was such a perfectionist that being a “bad” or average student was unthinkable, so I stopped being a student at all.
If you’re having trouble getting something done, Just Show Up. You don’t have to be employee of the month. You don’t have to be valedictorian. Just Show Up.
ime it also helps to be like “you dont have to stay the whole time, you just have to go” bc most of the time once youre there it’s fine. a lot of things are like that, like… you dont have to finish the dishes, just start them. a lot of the time once you start a task it’s easier to finish than to stop, especially if you can trick yourself like “after five more minutes if i still feel bad i’ll go home” or “after washing two more dishes i can stop for today”
even if you don’t finish the task, you started it, and by completing part of it you lessened your future workload and ALSO taught your brain that things may not be as daunting as they seem
This is wisdom! Peace!
you know what years of therapy taught me - Redefine success
so what if no one else gets how the things you define as successes are victories because you have to
so you got to work - success
you used public transport - success
you went to the supermarket instead of ordering online and didn’t just buy things you dind’t want because you got scared - MASSIVE success
Redefine success, your body moved the goal posts, there is no shame in acknwoledging that
This may not help other people the way it helps me, so take it or leave it as needed, but: A lot of the time, Big Epic Awesome Things are built up out of little tiny just showing up, too.
[Image description - Images of the asexual and aromantic pride flags with the text: I SUPPORT ACE PEOPLE, I SUPPORT ARO PEOPLE. End description.]
A-spec does not mean ace spectrum
It refers to both the ace and the aro spectrums
For fuck’s sake, stop demanding people say ace spectrum instead
Aros and aces often have similar issues, we don’t deserve to be erased from talking about things that affect us or have people just never mention us when talking about issues we share with aces
Also, the Autistic community never referred to themselves as aspec. That is a misinformation campaign spread by aphobes seeking to take our language away from us.
it’s a common misconception that the term “brilliant bisexual” refers to intelligence. the term actually refers to the scale of brightness for the natural bioluminescence that occurs in approximately 80%-87% of all bisexuals. the brightest bisexual ever recorded was of course freddie mercury, but interference from the intense rock show lighting prevented an accurate measurement from ever being taken.
Plus size, aromantic, bisexual, Afro-Latinx sapphics for anon
Plus size, aromantic Afro-Latinx wlwoc for anon
Imagine you're a bird
Imagine you’re a bird but you can’t fly. For a while that’s fine and nobody expects you to fly because you’re young but it isn’t long before your peers are all flying and you’re left behind. Everyone reassures you that you’ll be able to fly eventually but you aren’t so sure. You start to feel very out of place. Who ever heard of a bird that can’t fly, after all? Some of the other birds think you’re a freak and try to “fix” you by pushing you out of trees. You are hurt, physically and emotionally. Now imagine you discover that flightless birds exist. You aren’t alone, plenty of birds don’t fly. Just because they haven’t flown doesn’t mean they aren’t birds as well. Now imagine you’re asexual/aromantic.