Hey so like what are the different aro’s (I think I’m referencing them correctly) I’ve heard of the one where u don’t like sex and I’ve heard on the one where you don’t like romantic relationships but that’s all I know and their seems to be more please help I’m just a simple ally trying to learn all the sexuality’s and genders
hi there in return. Asking is always appreciated here.
Be aware that a long list of explanation and terms is incoming here
So to start off with the basics:
Aromantic (short aro) is an umbrella term and refers to well basically having a romantic orientation where you feel little to no romantic attraction or only under very specific circumstances
Asexual (short ace) is also an umbrella term in that same way, just with sexual attraction instead.
The A- prefix (meaning without) in both cases also have their counterpart that is Allo, which in this context roughly means that you do have it. (Think of allo being to aro working like how what cis is to trans)
One can be an alloromantic allosexual (short alloallo or just allo)
One can be an alloromantic asexual (short alloace)
One can also be aromantic asexual (aroace)
And finally one can also be aromantic allosexual (aroallo, which I happen to fall under).
That all describes just whether or not you feel attraction of either type mind you. Sometimes people refer to themselves as just aro or as just ace (aroace people included) either because that's what they happen to relate with more or because they feel that their sexual or romantic attraction to other are not really linked together or work differently.
There are also the microlabels that go more into the specifics of how your attraction or well lack of attraction work for you. I will only list the prefixes i remember from the top of my head, since they basically exist in both aro and ace groups and it's easier to remember and figure it out on the fly (note: you're not expected to actually know them all by heart or by name, but being aware of these different experiences existing in the first place can already help with navigating both spectrums):
Auto- you're basically feeling the attraction and thing only towards yourself and not towards others. You may enjoy getting intimate with yourself in said thing in question.
Aego- without the ego/self, you are basically okay with the thing and even enjoy it somewhat as long as it doesn't involve you yourself directly.
Apothi- you basically feel repulsion about the concept or attraction in question generally (though this doesn't necessarily mean that one is automatically having a negative attitude about the thing or concept in question, it's more like "I really don't want to have anything to do with that please keep it away from me")
Bellus- you may have an interest in things or activities related to the thing itself, but not actually desiring the thing itself in question. For romance you may like all the romantic things and activities, but you don't want a romantic relationship itself, and for sex you may like sexual things and kinks and esthetics + some sexual acts without actually desiring the sex itself.
Caed- You basically were allo in that thing at one point but it changed/got cut off from you due to trauma (doesn't have to be related to the type of attraction or thing in question). Trauma changes people after all in different ways, why shouldn't that affect your relationship to romance or own sexuality?
Cupid- I guess you can think of cupid there to make it easier. You like the concept you maybe even desire and participate in it, but in the end the attraction and feelings just ain't there.
Demi- I guess to remember it you can think of demi god's, it itself however is more like you do get the occasional attraction and also the same feelings, but you first need an emotional or platonic (or sexual or romantic) or another type of bond first for it to happen. Having said bonds in the first place does not guarantee for the attraction or feelings to arise though, but they can't for sure without them.
Fray- inverse of demi, you may have the attraction and feelings up until you know someone better or have formed an emotional bond witg them.
Gray- as in like a Grey area, where it's either a Grey area as in how strong your attraction/feelings are or how consistent/often those occur (as in you are unsure whether or not you do actually feel attraction or feelings at all
Lith- you do actually feel attraction and feelings and all that intial stuff, but (un)funnily enough you don't want it reciprocated or it fades the moment it gets reciprocated. Think of it as yearning for something, but only wanting that. No getting thing one yearns for.
Recip- you can only feel the attraction or thing in question after knowing someone else already does feel the same for you. Here I personally think of the stereotypical romcom love interest who are legit oblivious up until they get to hear the confession and only then do they feel the same things, because i bet that this specific trope has been based off of that experience of many. (Also the inverse of lith-)
There are of course a few other prefixes like Quoi/WTF- where you just can't differentiate the thing in question from other attractions and things and also nebular- i think (but I am not 100% sure) where your experience and recognition of your attraction and feelings may be influenced by neurodiversity (being autistic, having adhd, etc.)
There is also the suffix -flux, which basically just says that how strong you feel attraction or the thing itself varies strongly over time. Sometimes it's there, sometimes not, other times it's just a literal small bit and at another time it may even be overwhelmingly strong.
The suffix -spike refers to basically almost never feeling or experiencing the thing in question... but when you do (once in a bluemoon mind you) you unmistakably feel it and it is intense.
And to continue now: because being aro and being ace are both a spectrum how strongly or when specifically you experience romantic and/or sexual attraction, you can still have your orientation attached to these. This can be being het-, homo-, bi-, pan-, omni-, poly-, etc. There, the stuff you may already be familiar with. Like yes you literally can be an aroace lesbian or an aroace gay man, etc. because of the theoretic few times or the theoretic specifc circumstances it does occur in.
Of course romantic and sexual attractions are not the only types of attractions that can be a-spec, like aplatonic, afamilliar and asensual are a thing, but i think to dive into these now would kinda go way beyond your initial question here.
I could however also go into a few other things you may have questions about.
