Call Me Chaos

22 | He/him Just someone struggling with his sexuality and needing a place to connect/vent. I take character icon requests with the aromantic flag. #aroheadcanonsbychaos #iconsbychaos

[aromanticchaos]

The longing to be loved and feel safe and seen with one person hurts. I grieve daily the pain i feel. I cry for what I thought I could have. I yearn regularly about what it could be like to have that. I want my person. My safety. My home. One that accepts all sides of me. When I’m having a gender crisis and need someone to still love who I am. Someone that doesn’t see me as only one thing. When I’m depressed and have no motivation. When i voice my thoughts and they dont invalidate them. When i want to just exist and know my way of loving is enough for someone.

I wish i was enough for someone to not want to hurt or scare me.

[theygender]

Being a nonbinary lesbian is like I don't have a gender but my gender is dyke and I'm not a guy but I am one of the guys and also I'm not a woman but when people talk about women I'm included. Hope this clears things up

[aromanticchaos]

THIS!!! But gender is butch for me :)

[totally-sapphic-posts]

I recently learnt about he/him lesbians and I’m making this post to form a greater understanding of this part of the community and perhaps educate someone else.

To my knowledge, people who use he/him pronouns can be lesbians because pronouns don’t equal gender. It’s just a form of their gender expression. So someone who is a woman can use any pronouns.

If any he/him lesbians would like to add on, correct me or share their own stories, that’d be great! I’d love to learnt more.

[genderqueerwhohatesithere]

hi! i’m a genderqueer he/him transmasc lesbian. i’d like to add on that lesbians are non men loving non men. so someone like me can be a lesbian because although my identity is masculine i am not a man. so you can be trans masc and be a lesbian, you can be genderfluid, genderqueer, a demiboy or demigirl or many other identities along the queer, trans and nonbinary umbrella AND be a lesbian. this is also seen in butch lesbians who have some masculinity and enjoy it, they’re still just as valid! butch lesbians are masculine, and not men. in short, lesbianism as a whole is very inclusive and has a wide range of people in it! you can also use neopronouns and be a lesbian.

queer people often use labels that seem contradictory or don’t ‘make sense’, the best thing to do is to default to listening and acceptance, and to read queer history and educate those around you.

[aromanticchaos]

I am very much questioning and terrified of the outcome and this made me feel very much seen and heard. Thank you.

[kirstenk080]

Wall-E is a butch he/they/she lesbian who is soft as hell all the time. They are autistic/neurodivergent as hell. He loves getting rocks as gifts for everyone, especially his girlfriend Eve.

Eve is a casually femme she/they lesbian who will kick your ass for looking at their girlfriend or her plants in a funny way. She is soft only for her girlfriend Wall-E.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk, I will not be taking any questions at this time.

[girlboss-central-station]

“He/him lesbians don’t exist” ok explain wall-e then

[aromanticchaos]

I wish my comfort mattered enough to someone

[aromanticchaos]

Back on here to say hi. I really have been struggling this past year with myself and my identity. I’m definitely somewhere on the aro spectrum but now im not sure. (Also ace spectrum) I’m in a relationship now and that has been really rocky. Especially since 2 days ago i wanted to address again I’m probably somewhere aro/ace. But again. Idk if im aro/ace or just dont like extreme intimacy (emotional/physical) sometimes so its hard to navigate. Idk. I could rant more about my thoughts and emotions but right now I’m just feeling very “broken” and “unlovable” as of late. Going to be cleaning out this account of shitty things ive written in the past (i am sorry about that and have healed from that way of thinking thanks to friends). But yeah. I want to be happy in myself and not other people. I want to say what i want and how i feel without someone else in mind. I deserve respect and love on my terms. Not everyone else’s. But its hard when everyone is constantly leaving me.

Anyways. I hope yall are doing well. Lmk of new aro headcanons you have!! (My fav atm is jinx from arcane!!)

[clowniconography]

i am a:

⚪️ man

⚪️ woman

🔘 person with adhd

and i am seeking:

⚪️ men

⚪️ women

🔘 meals that can be prepared in under 5 minutes

[john-marshall]

Here’s a low spoons meal plan that I made as an autistic, mentally ill person, mostly made for a good friend with ADHD and chronic pain.

All of the recipes don’t require any more cooking than a microwave or toaster, and don’t require any utensils other than a fork or spoon. I tried to make as many ingredients as possible shelf stable so that you can pick and choose as needed. It’s made to minimize dishes, time, and gross motor skills required.

[aromanticchaos]

Sorry for being quiet on here. Personal life has not been good and I moved recently to try to help myself from my toxic family but now im focusing on myself and im not doing so great mentally. Dysphoria has been awful lately and I’ve been hating myself for being aro again so thats fun 🤪

I hope to come back onto this account again and be more proud to say im aro/trans but im not rn. And im sorry for that.

[aromanticchaos]

Im only on episode 3 of Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated (2012) and I love how shaggy is ace, fred is aro and velma is trans. Really loving this rep 😩👏

[aromanticchaos]

Online Pride 2020

Day 8: “how did you discover your identity”

I figured out I was trans while in a group home/cbat unit. Words and labels that I had no idea existed were explained to me and my “uncomfortable-ness” with myself and clothing was actually dysphoria. And not to drop too much of my trauma but my ex-step-mom was really controlling of me. And that extended to clothes and how I’d have to present myself daily. So that was hard from me being a tomboy in my childhood to basically her life sized toy doll that had to dress up for everything from ages 11-14. I kind of checked out mentally for those years. I was living in a group home when I was finally able to dress for me and that was hard to figure out what I actually liked. My first DCF paycheck was spent on clothes from hottopic and i started to play with clothes and gender norms then. Wearing things that I liked and were comfortable to me. I chopped off all my hair that summer and felt so much better about myself. I asked a few close friends to call me another name and use other pronouns for myself and I figured out very quickly that I’m a transman. Didn’t come out to my family until later when I wanted to start medically transition.

So yeah. Figuring out myself was hard bc trauma and its still hard to see myself as a man bc of that. But I’m happy where I am today. Im about a year post top surgery. 7 months on T. Legally a man and I can never say thank you enough to the people in my life that helped me get to this point.

[aromanticchaos]

Online Pride 2020

Day 7: “crafters pride! Make something and post it”

Aro flag in a bob ross style landscape 🤙

(I cannot paint to save my life😂)

[aromanticchaos]

The only reason you see Peter like that is because you're absolutely right

I WAS SO WORRIED THAT THIS WAS GONNA BE A BAD THING BC MY NOTIF ONLY SAID “the only reason you see Peter like that..” BUT THANK YOU!! Peter Parker was (still is lol) a hyper fixation for me while going thro my transition and figuring out im aro. So the more I learned about myself, the more I saw similarities with him. Here’s a great fic I love with some aro spidey (and spideypool moments) if you guys are interested.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3876049?view_adult=true

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is telling people you’ll never fall in love and them in return trying to comfort you because they think you’re self-deprecating when actually you truly believe that you will never fall in love with someone romantically. like of course people would fall in love with me, abigail, but would I ever love them back ?

[musamorra]

I just watched someone on Instagram comment about how asexuals and aromantics are not a repressed group and how they don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community and I’ve

[aromanticchaos]

Online Pride 2020

Day 6: “name a character you see as LGBTQ+”

Not to be majorly self projecting but I see Peter Parker/Spiderman as bisexual, aromantic and ftm transgender. 🤙🤙 (So what I am🤪)

[aromanticchaos]

Online Pride 2020

Day 5: “coming out stories”

I don’t have too many good ones of this but when I came out with a new name (it was logan at the time but now i go by something else) my work was really accepting and quick to make sure I knew that. I worked at the chipotle in my town and most (fun) people there had nicknames. Lol. I already had an older coworker that’s name was logan and everyone called him wolverine. When i came out as logan, one of my managers started calling me X2 and it caught on😂 At my chipotle I was allowed to wear pins on my hat so I wore my pronoun one and trans flag one. (For ppl wondering, no you shouldn’t put pins on ur apron bc at chipotle we change those constantly for health reasons and we daily bag them to be sent to wash. And for wearing pins on your shirt, easier to fall off and thats not fun).

Idk how it is at all chipotles but mine was fun and pushed me to accept myself when I wasn’t so confident being out socially. I’ll forever remember my manager(who I thought would be slightly homophobic) called me sir and i started to tear up. Lol.