Pew Pew Fingerguns

Kingfishers are the lords of my brain. Every day "tweet tweet" and "I need to go eat fish". I have eaten so many minnows when will this torture stop. * trillian but call me mrs science . Haven’t changed anything about this blog since highschool and dont really plan to

[ange1fire]

[x]

[crowcaws]

Incredible events unfolding on reddit

[crowcaws]

[crowcaws]

I would die for Tessa. I would find her 200 toothbrushes.

[crowcaws]

So it looks like Tessa has been using these veggietales toothbrushes for ages, but has misplaced the stash.

[detectivehole]

[muscosus]

[bimmyjimmy]

He was being lectured because he keeps jumping onto dad desk

[jimmyhoffathecat]

Bruh… free my mans.

[meanbossart]

Mlord I appreciate the gesture, but I don't think this flower wreath you made me can replace a helmet.

[avoliot]

my discord group chat is lovely and I really appreciate their habit of spoiler-tagging any relevant plot points of books they find interesting in case the rest of us want to read it.

however i did wake up to an extensively spoiler-tagged discussion of the untranslated Code of Hammurabi and guys i think this has gone too far.

[fatkidnogo]

[peoplegettingkindamadatfood]

The video was an ad for non-stick pans.

[sweatermuppet]

[wingbeifong-deactivated20160204]

do yall remember those two little white boys in super smash bros brawl who would scream pecan ice and pecan butter or whatever it was they were yelling?? i hated them so much they used to get me in so much trouble when i would stay up late and play nintendo because no matter how low the volume on the damn tv was my mom would hear their shill ass voices going PECAN ICE PECAN BUTTER from all the way down the hall in her room and tell me to go to bed i will never forgive them

[wokeuplaughing]

I'm like sobbing

[tonyzaret]

Tony,my mother abandoned me in the middle of a highway because she found my Alvin and the chipmunks Yuri,what should I do?

Sorry I can’t help you unless I know exactly which Chipettes you were shipping

[dogpuppy]

[lakevida]

ok well if i can be vulnerable with you for a moment theres a hole in the floor at work and i dont know if it drains to anywhere but i do know ive been pouring old coffee down it for about three weeks now

[lakevida]

a coworker saw me do it today and her expression was unreadable

[girlnephew]

[yesplsnothankyou]

for reference

[omgitzlongdennis]

malcolm: ugh my life is the WORST i HATE BEING A TEENAGER!!

*meanwhile*

jigsaw: hello francis

[mockeryofnature]

THE WAY THIS ISNT EVEN EXAGGERATING LMAOOO

[sanjipussyindulgence]

okay ive never seen malcolm in the middle and had to check if this was real. apparently thats not the actual plot of the episode buuuut

somehow this is funnier

[jhil-inthebox]

true love (my take on the "sometimes i wonder what i taste like" meme)

[varsitymarceline]

reblogging w this comment because this has genuinely not left my mind since i saw it three years ago

[protobutch]