“Sex was never my apology Its use was always intentional but only to try to reach a heart locked away behind excuses So excuse me if my thighs widen to receive a lust Revive a thrust to only be available for a burst of a momentary wonder You see, I knew there was more to me But I never found it I always put myself last thinking that was where I was supposed to be Touching my insides thinking that was the end of me Sex was never an apology But an excuse to get close As close to you as you’d allow me to be Climax infatuation and orgasms of no reservation because I gave myself no reserve That behind the deep breaths of satisfaction And thoughts of this great action Was a future you were never to be a part of But don’t mind me I needed the sex to feel relevant Because my mind never made you wonder And my heart never made you ponder But your hands would wander my body like speaking Braille Revealing this body is ready to be pleased So forgive me if I love the feeling of being sexed It’s not that I don’t want more It’s that I never met a man who wanted more from me So excuse me if I lost track of love because my butterflies died from crash after taking flight Excuse me if my heart grew steady and lost its tremble That my knees no longer would shake That prayers of free falling for love became prayers of never falling in love That my heart grew so cluttered, I boarded it up and displayed “out of service” So forgive me if all I desired was that key to lust between your legs And not the door to love behind your ribs”
— -Camille J.
