Love When Life Happens

My marriage, my art, my family, sex, me, and how I try to deal with it all.

[artjunkiehd]

Thought experiment

Is it art because the creator says so, or does it need to be observed by a third party that makes it so?

An example: person moves to isolated island, paints the sea, dies, no one sees said painting, is it art?

Further this. If they never said it was art, does that make it different than if they had (said it was art)?

[teenagecrush]

[artjunkiehd]

Do you ever feel like a placeholder?

Like someone else could be here and you’d not be missed. Or that there’s probably someone who’d be a better choice. That you are there because they feel you have to be or that someone else couldn’t make it.

[artjunkiehd]

Like that Cure song

I think I’ve reached that point where giving up and going on are the same dead end to me.

[artjunkiehd]

There are times you feel so alone

There’s no one there for you. And those that are there are too young or your tired of burdening them with your problems. You want to scream and shout your problems at those around you.

“Why can’t you see?!? What don’t you understand?!? I’m having a problem! This isn’t easy for me!”

But you can’t. Or won’t. Maybe it would help. Maybe it would make things worse. Can you loose another person? Someone just looking for a reason to leave?

You take the abuse without giving it back. The double standards of people and emotions. If these people cared would they treat you this way? Or do they expect the abuse in return? Should you talk to them about it? If you could, you’d talk your problems through with them. You already know that it’s not their problems, it’s yours alone.

It gets lonely sometimes.

[artjunkiehd]

I want you

I don’t want her or him or they, I want you. And here you are asleep next to me, yet out of my reach. When I go to kiss you, you back away. When I go to hug you, you push free. You say you love me, but show no sign of it. Are you just parroting what I say? Has it just become habit? I want you, but who do you want? Is there anyone you desire like I desire you? The noises you make as you sleep, the length of your leg, your arm. I’m drawn in. There is a little bit of pain that has grown in me, spreading like cancer. If the pain kills this, what will take it’s place when there is no more pain? How could I think the pain would go away, it will just replace the desire.

[artjunkiehd]

Being married isn’t easy,

But I feel our society makes it harder. Divorce has become easier. Cheating is in everything from Facebook click bait to music. I keep seeing ads to find out if your SF is cheating or dating apps. I see articles about why people cheat or who’s most likely to cheat. I feel like someone wants to plant seeds of doubt or make the practices of divorce and cheating common place. It’s like saying “oh hey, everybody is doing it, so don’t worry about it happening to you, ok.” Trust and faith go a long way, though fear and doubt are strong adversaries.

[artjunkiehd]

Why is common decency not so common?

Why can’t we just be good people? Why do we have to be such assholes to people? What happened to giving respect instead of expecting it?

[artjunkiehd]

We just sit here and never talk.

“When I do, she doesn’t listen, doesn’t care, or gets mad. When she talks I’m not really listening that often either. I blame my hearing, but it might be my mind or maybe I don’t care. I worry it’s something mental. Any more I have to actively try to remember something or write it down, otherwise I won’t retain it. It worries me, but it just upsets her.”

[artjunkiehd]

It’s sad when...

Your number one person treats you worse than secondary and tertiary people in their life

[artjunkiehd]

Have you ever had someone make you feel alone while sitting next to them?

[artjunkiehd]

Today has been one of my best days in a while

Depressed, anxious, upset. None of that. In a pretty good mood. Let’s think positive and not what might destroy this mood.

[artjunkiehd]

You know why you’re tired, you’ve been running through my mind

I’m having trouble. The person I can’t get off my mind, I’m trying not to bug. My SO felt smothered a little and since I’ve tried to keep my distance when they are out or at work. I send a simple text and leave it at that. Most often it’s fine, but right now they are all I can think about.

[artjunkiehd]

I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying

I’m trying to stay positive. I’m trying to not let things bother me. My significant other is less romantic and touchy feely than I am. It’s difficult when I am feeling emotional and they don’t get it. Or when I’d like romantic time together and they don’t. So I am trying to stay positive and deal.

In a relationship it’s a two way street. You have to meet your partner at some point and not expect them to do all the work. And you can’t force them. You sometimes have to do things without expectations of anything in return. ‘Be the change you want to see.’ It’s not always easy, but positive attitude can breed positive attitudes.

If I plant weeds in my garden, that’s what I’ll have to sow. If I plant flowers, you’ll get flowers (obviously.) the difference is that flowers take more work and don’t always resow or keep flowering. There’s still work to be had.

[artjunkiehd]

My SO knows how to make me feel un wanted and ignored

They have their back to me. Talks to everyone but me. When I bring it up to them, they see no problem. What is there to do in these situations? How do you get someone to see there’s a problem that you’d like addressed if they don’t see a problem?

[artjunkiehd]

My sex life is like a desert

With the occasional oasis. And sometimes they turn out to be a mirage.

[mysharona1987]