So, I haven't posted in a LOOOOONG time. I'm not even sure I have any followers or if I am posting for myself. But, lets get started. I have decided to run my first 1/2 marathon in May. But more on that in another post. Right now I am going to post a thoughts post. Things that I love/do/relate to. Maybe you relate as well. But maybe, just maybe, I am again writing for myself.
I love my family. I want to spend time with them. What's more than that ... I enjoy spending time with them. If you don't like it, too bad. Family values are important to me. Eating as a family is important to me. If anyone talks bad about my family, they'll get an earful. Because though they may annoy me sometimes, I will defend them to the death. Even if they're wrong ... if you badmouth them ... I'll defend them. That is something I can promise.
I like going on walks ... I like holding hands. I like looking at the stars. I love falling asleep in the arms of someone who loves me ... and I love waking up in his arms as well. I like being kissed on the forehead and having my back rubbed. I love massages no matter who they're from. If you give me one, I will melt. Guaranteed. I love laughing, I love being silly, I love when people aren't afraid to be silly sometimes. I love to swim and play in the water and I love board games. I love to sing. I love snail mail ... I love cards. I love getting mail, but I like sending it even more.
I have strong opinions ... I will share them, but only when I feel so inclined. Generally speaking, I think before I speak -- especially in large groups. But once you get to know me, I am an open book. Don't be put off by my apparent shyness ... because shy is the last thing to describe me accurately. I want my feelings to be respected and my thoughts to be respected. More than anything else, I want my body to be respected. I know how to be sexy, I know how to be desirable. I choose not to be those things because I do not want what comes when one intentionally creates a sexy persona
I'm not always as confident as I seem ... there are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me ... sometimes I just want a hug ... someone who will let me cry. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt
I like playing Nintendo. I'm not afraid to get dirty ... I enjoy being sweaty because I was working out. It's a good feeling. I don't like to run, I'd rather walk. My nails are not my top priority -- they never will be. I might paint them ... but once I do, the polish will stay on until it wears off, no matter how chipped it is.
I love long showers and the feeling of my teeth after they have been brushed. I like food, even if it's not good for me. I like Shakespeare, even though I don't understand him. I love to learn -- I ask a lot of questions I do not like being told things just to make me happy. I would rather be told the truth and be hurt than be "protected" and happy. I overreact sometimes. Don't be afraid to tell me I'm wrong or out of line. I like people who are strong enough to face me when I'm raging ... people who will let me angry for a little while ... people who won't think less of me for my somewhat sporadic mood swings. I am afraid of being lonely ... of having my heart broken ... of not being appreciated or wanted. Of people not knowing how much they mean to me. I'm not afraid to be myself or of interacting with people who are different than me. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm wrong, but I will rarely admit it publicly.
My friends are the most important people in the world to me. My friends are mostly guys. That does not make me a "whore" or a "slut" or anything of the sort. To be a whore, I'd have to be sleeping with them. PS, I'm not. Get over it. I love my guy friends -- I enjoy hanging out with them much more than I do with most girls. That's just how I am, it's how I've always been ... I will probably always be this way.
I love being comfortable and I love being told that I'm beautiful, even if I'm in sweats and my hair is a mess. I am just as comfortable in a skirt as I am in sweats. I love staying up late and I love sleeping though I will never sleep enough. Coloring is fun ... drawing is not.
My favorite color is anything in the rainbow. I don't like math ... I don't understand science. I love reading for hours on end ... especially outside on a sunny day. I love the sun ... I love being warm. However, I love playing in the rain and I like making snowmen and snow angels ... and I like the handprints in the middle when I get up.
I like mismatched decorations and sappy letters. I love to cuddle. I love being close. I love having friends and I love laughing with my friends. I'd rather be cold than hot and I would rather eat chicken than beef. I love bacon and deviled eggs. Christmas and 4th of July are my two favorite holidays. I love best friends and old friends ... and I love when new friends become old friends.
Florescent lights always make people look weird and I don't understand why stores always put them in dressing rooms. I love pinstripe pants. There are a lot of clothes I am too self-conscious to wear ... a lot of clothes I don't think I can pull off. But sometimes I'll try. I love good smelling lotions and shampoos. I love when guys wear cologne. I love wearing a guy's sweatshirt when it smells like him. I love when guys are ticklish ... and I love laughing so hard I cry. I love straight teeth. I'm not unhappy with the way I look, but I don't always think I'm pretty. If you tell me I look good and I disagree, I'll probably tell you ... but I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm not asking you to roll your eyes and think that I'm doing it because "it's a girl thing." Those are the days I change my clothes six times before deciding which shirt I want to wear. Chances are, I won't tell you I took half an hour deciding which shirt to wear ... but chances are, you'll know.
I believe in love. Real, true, amazing, passionate love. I believe in myself ... I believe in other people. I will never give up on the people I really care about, even if they break my heart a thousand times. I love blankets -- even in the summer. I love fans ... even in the winter. I like not wearing shoes. I'm bad at foreign languages, I don't understand Marxism. I can't dance, but I love to do it. Love songs are amazing.
I'm allergic to everything that is outside in the springtime, but I will never refuse an opportunity to go outside.
I have a hard time letting go and when I love, I love deeply. I'm sincere and genuine ... and I like people who are sincere and genuine. People who respect themselves, boys who love their moms. I want to be adored ... and when I date a guy, I want him to be absolutely stoked about me. And I want it to be okay that I'm stoked about him. I don't want to be told that I'm loved ... I want to be shown. If you hurt me, I'm going to talk to my friends about it ... I'm a relational person, that's what I do. If I'm angry, I will always tell you about it. I will try to work things out and if I have my way, we will work things about before going to bed.
If I'm shopping and something silly catches my eye and makes me think of you, chances are ... you'll be receiving it shortly thereafter. Silly gifts make life enjoyable. :)
Inside jokes are amazing ... remember-whens are mind blowing. I don't like paying for parking ... and I would rather park farther away if it's free. If something is broken, I'll probably leave it broken until I need it next. My room is usually messy because I usually don't have time to clean it. But eventually I will clean it ... and the next day, it will probably be messy again. It happens.
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