CW: racism, mentions pro endos, rqs and how much they fucked up recovery/spread anti-recovery rhetoric, incredibly brief mentions of abuse (assume all kinds)/RAMCOA , depression
Hi, I’m a member of a system and I’m one of the members who finally turned a new leaf and went from pro endo -> anti endo. I want to share our experience in order to warm endo neutrals who may scroll on any tag, or even pro endo CDDs who scroll here. Because let me tell you something: it is NOT worth it. It’s not worth it at all to stay with these people and support them. When you mix CDDs with people who claim to have non-disordered plurality, you are asking for trouble and will— consciously or not— turn to anti-recovery.
Let’s start from the beginning: late November 2025. This is when we discovered we were a system. Scared of being fake claimed and judged because the anti-endo servers we joined were openly fake claiming someone’s friend because they had a fictive from a show they watched recently (which is incredibly dumb as they have no clue what circumstances could allot that and that is no reason to fake claim anybody), we retreated to pro-endo spaces because they have less of a fake claiming tolerance, and we were just becoming aware of being a system then and wanted acceptance.
It started off okay the first few months. We learned about our system and about specific community roles, roles used in the field, etc and were slowly uncovering things at a normal pace. But by March, everything changed. Endos would show off multiple strictly anti-recovery -genic terms, like ‘Addgenic’ and even ridiculous xenogenic terms like Angelblessgenic or something. They like to think that alters are like… completely separate. Like it’s understandable to treat your alters with respect as if they were separate people, but the community celebrated and encouraged new alters formation and romanticized it as ‘new friends in the headspace!’ and ‘omg more alters added to my list!!! :D’ and this caused our symptoms to worsen significantly.
During school we got pretty depressed, and struggled to even get by this semester while maintaining scholarships. A lot of loopholes had to be done with final grades to do that. We dissociated so much that we couldn’t even concentrate without rapid switching, multiple alters forming, etc from fragmented parts.
Worst of all they also encouraged us, who explicitly stated we thought we might be RAMCOA/OEA survivors on top of being non-organized abuse survivors, TO DIG IN AND RESEARCH THE SUBJECT? They genuinely wanted us to research and figure out what’s happening. And less explicitly the pro-endo culture is that discovering alters is like buried treasure. Nobody talks about anything ugly in pro-endo spaces. When you do, you’re gaslit into thinking systems are always a positive experience ALL THE TIME and you can’t be mad EVER! I am not saying systems have to be miserable 24/7, obviously, but the opposite is just as harmful.
To add this in the middle: the pro-endo community is also overlapping with pro-radqueer and profic spaces too. There was a space I was in that said it’s ok to have certain Radqueer trans IDs (like trans race, and they said this to a black system!!! because ‘they could possibly have a good reason for it’ when there’s never a good reason to be racist and be trans race EVER. The server also advocated for white people having dreadlocks because their black alters in the headspace did and I can’t even stress enough how racist this is. They also tone policed us constantly but only after we explained we’re black… interesting!!!
And because we were stupid and researched, that caused an entire system reset and now we’re a smaller system. I’m incredibly pissed off by pro-endos. They’re anti recovery without even realizing it and some of them even encourage you explicitly research trauma you suspect to have that is infamously known for being incredibly dangerous to the survivors if it’s not done with a therapist.
This is your beware all neu-pro endos with CDDs watching.
