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@asexualmeansnosex
Just wondering why do ace exclusionists assume that asexuality is a preference any more than being gay/bi etc… it’s not about not wanting to have sex. It’s the physical and mental inability to feel sexual attraction. Like even if you WANT to have sex or TRY to have sex you cannot comfortably do so. Less people would be exclusionary if they realized it’s not a choice or a preference, it’s a sexuality and it’s just as valid as any other.
That’s probably a question every Ace has asked themselves.
Reblog if you’re ace and make an inordinate amount of sex jokes to try to fit in. Also because sex is really kind of nonsense when you think about it.
Ace Problem #2
Not understanding why people care so much about sex.
YOU ARE NOT BROKEN.
real question: why do allosexual peeps get so offended when you tell them you’re not into sex?? they’re always like “what’s wrong with you?” or “wtf?? are you not human??” like calm down mate I said I’m asexual, not the zodiac killer
some peak comments
honey,,,, darlin,, sweetie,,,, ace people just dont wanna fuck dude,,,, you can be ace n gay ,,,, or ace n bi like me like honey we ain’t auto cishet because we dont wanna fuck,,,, we still can feel attraction,,,, and aro people don’t,,,, feel love? valid!! you can be aro/ace!! and you!! are lgbt!!! you!! are fuckin valid!!! if you dont think otherwise you’re as bad as those homophobes buddy.
aro/ace validity! make it happen!
hey?? i think it’s time we all fucking delete because i just had to experience this in real time:
the lesbian portion of aroace lesbian is in relation to sensual and alterous attraction (to exclusively women!)!
what the fuck is sensual and alterous attraction
sensual is the desire to be intimate like… cuddling and stuff i guess? often people who are romantically attracted to someone are sensually attracted to them too so its not often thought of, it only ever really comes to play as a specific attraction by itself when someone doesnt feel romantic attraction. and alterous is an aro term it’s not romantic attraction but not platonic its like… between the two? like a desire to be in an intimate relationship with a woman but never actually feeling romantic/sexual attraction to someone specifically.
also i get how alterous attraction can sound… fake. or “just” friendship. but its like more intimate than friends but not romantic. its hard to explain cuz its a feeling, yaknow?
edit: also on your tags! aroace lesbians usually want to date women!
ok you seem really genuine and I don’t want to come off as rude but… please, please like really think about what you’re saying. and stop reading tumblr queer theory bc you have obviously consumed *way* too much of it
i’ve thought about what i’m saying and i’ve experienced these things on my own. i didn’t come about aroace lesbian through tumblr. i noticed my attraction to girls but i also knew i was aroace and it took me awhile to work out what i was and what the feelings were etc. this was all self introspect things and has nothing to do with tumblr. i didn’t even know other people had that identity until i met a girl on discord a few months ago. she didnt know others felt those feelings either! i didn’t even know tumblr knew about aroace lesbians, or that it was even a Thing and not just words i was using to describe my experience, until a couple of days ago.
i learned the word alterous attraction today, but i’ve known it and the definition for a long time. so i was excited to finally find a word! it makes it easier to be able to communicate my experiences and feelings.
not everything that you find “weird” or hard to understand is some silly tumblr hivemind. and it’s incredibly offensive that my lived experience is somehow delusions created by what is happening on website.
you are too old for this dumb of a take
“asexual people do not experience a desire for sex”
as an asexual, my sexual desire is replaced with cuddle drive
if you don’t want to have sex that’s fine but it’s not an identity
if you want to date women that’s fine but it’s not a sexuality
if you want to have sex with women that’s fine but it’s not a sexuality
do yall understand what sexuality means
do You
yeah i clearly do and you don’t. lesbians exist, asexuality is not a sexual orientation. not everything is a sexuality, otherwise being into toe sucking would be one too.
i mean if “not wanting sex” is asexual and asexuality isnt real then “wanting sex (with women)” isn’t real either
also asexuality isnt not wanting sex you fucking dingus if you listened to us for 2 seconds you’d learn sexual orientation and libido arent the same thing
Why do none of y’all know what the fuck you’re talking about?
Asexuality isn’t a sexual orientation because “does not experience sexual attraction” or “not wanting sex” (which is how many aces define asexuality, see @asexualmeansnosex) aren’t sexual orientations. Orientation is about which gender(s) you are attracted to. Unless you are aroace or define asexual to mean “does not experience any attraction to any gender,” (a third possible ace definition, yikes) it simply has nothing to do with orientation.
Further proof of asexuality not being an orientation is the fact that you can be “grey” or “demi” ace, you cannot be partially gay or partially straight. You cannot be more or less bisexual on a spectrum. You cannot be gay most of the time but if you really get to know someone well you might be bi. No orientation functions as a “spectrum.” No orientation has a “choose your own definition” challenge.
Not to mention, wanting to have sex with a specific person and gender is sexual attraction. Wanting to fuck someone is, in fact, sexual attraction. Just as we would sit down a straight woman who “is totally straight but also I love to fuck women, all I want to do is fuck women,” and say, “I don’t think you’re straight,” it’s absolutely appropriate to say to an ace person, “Wanting to fuck is the opposite of what your identity says it is.”
Libido and asexuality aren’t the same thing but asexuality can be affected by libido. People with low libidos might think they’re ace—strange but things like that don’t happen with any actual orientations. Also, if libido and asexuality have nothing in common, why do y’all act like doctors form of conversion therapy on aces is prescribing medication that affects libido? Why is the one proof of ace oppression—the existence of HSSD in the DSM, something y’all take wildly out of context—simply about a lack of sexual DESIRE if that has nothing to do with y’all?
If asexuality isn’t about not wanting to fuck, why is your oppression all about being in a sex obsessed society? Y’all can want sex too, apparently.
Why do you think aces and aros have two orientations? How does that work?
Admit to yourselves that asexuality isn’t an orientation, it does not function like an orientation, and it is rightfully not treated like one. A gay aces’ orientation is “gay,” a bisexual aces’s orientation is “bisexual.” The SAM does not exist irl nor should it.
This part lost me.
Libido and asexuality aren’t the same thing but asexuality can be affected by libido. People with low libidos might think they’re ace—strange but things like that don’t happen with any actual orientations. Also, if libido and asexuality have nothing in common, why do y’all act like doctors form of conversion therapy on aces is prescribing medication that affects libido? Why is the one proof of ace oppression—the existence of HSSD in the DSM, something y’all take wildly out of context—simply about a lack of sexual DESIRE if that has nothing to do with y’all?
A. asexuality can be affected by libido:
Listen, no mater how horny or wanton i am, my answer to sex with another person is no. There are things in my night stand that will help me handle my business without having sex. So i can have a sex drive, a libido, and still be asexual.
B. People with low libidos might think they’re ace—strange but things like that don’t happen with any actual orientations:
Yes, they do, A fair amount of people don’t figure out what they are sexually until older. Men with wives in there 40′s accepting they are gay is a thing that happens. Women figuring out the reason their 20 marriage failed is because they are attracted to other women is a thing that happens. Having a low libido so you are not wanting sex will not change who you are attracted to since attraction doesn’t equate to wanting to fuck. People can be wrong about themselves and coupled with the societal pressure to fit into a mold and the stunning lack of schooling on this topic its fairly common to try to convince yourself you are something you are not, and sometimes it take s few tries to get it right.
C. Also, if libido and asexuality have nothing in common, why do y’all act like doctors form of conversion therapy on aces is prescribing medication that affects libido? Why is the one proof of ace oppression—the existence of HSSD in the DSM, something y’all take wildly out of context—simply about a lack of sexual DESIRE if that has nothing to do with y’all?
Its Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) or inhibited sexual desire (ISD) is considered a sexual dysfunction and is characterized as a lack or absence of sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity, as judged by a clinician.
It has nothing to do with us. I have sexy fantasy, mostly about robots and never featuring me. Having a want to be sexual and not having an approved outlet (No interest in sex with people) is sometimes frustrating. If a doctor gave me a medication to increase my libido in an attempt to alleviate that frustration, all that would happen is I would burn threw batteries quicker. It would not solve the frustration and would make it worse.
If i didn’t have resources and just went to a doctor to find out if there is something wrong with being 30 and not wanting to get married and the doc looked up my symptoms and came back with this, he would be wrong. I would be labeled as having a metal disorder rather than having an uncommon sexuality. And that’s bad.
by nondeducible’s description, agender is also not a gender, I guess.
Asexual *is* a sexuality in that “no one” is the answer to the question to “who do you want to sleep with?” There are several degrees of ace, ranging from sex-repulsed (Ew, genitals. Ew, genitals!) to gray-asexual (I like sex, but why do you want to do it soooo often?) We can also range anywhere from aromantic (not experiencing a romantic bond to anyone) to panromantic (I don’t care about your genitals; I love you!)
Personally, I’m sex-negative panromantic ace. That means I’ll date someone with a compatible personality to mine, but I will not have sex with them. With myself? Sure. Fantasizing? Sure. Not with a partner.
But everyone’s different. And yes, that makes it an identity.
Orientation doesn’t work like that.
Orientation is not “who do you want to sleep with,” it is “which genders are you attracted to?”
Your sexual orientation is pansexual. Not wanting to have sex doesn’t make you any less pansexual. But also, like, “I want to have sex but not often” is even less an orientation. Like... that’s not an orientation OR an identity. That’s a normal human preference.
Every single human being in the world ha a different relationship to sex. That’s called... being a person. Some never want sex, some rarely, some want it only in certain contexts, some want it a lot. Just as we don’t have an “identity” for wanting sex a couple times a week, we don’t need one for “I like sex but why do you want to do it soooooo often?”
Like... go outside.
Just as we wouldn’t call striaght women who have to have sex with other women “Woman-positive heterosexuals,” we’d call them bisexual, we don’t call “sex positive” people ace or pretend like not wanting sex is an orientation lmao.
Asexuality is ONLY an orientation when defined as “not experiencing any form of non-platonic attraction towards anyone, ever.” Not when it’s “I don’t want sex as MUCH AS Y’ALL DIRTY ALLOS DO.”
if you don’t want to have sex that’s fine but it’s not an identity
if you want to date women that’s fine but it’s not a sexuality
if you want to have sex with women that’s fine but it’s not a sexuality
do yall understand what sexuality means
do You
yeah i clearly do and you don’t. lesbians exist, asexuality is not a sexual orientation. not everything is a sexuality, otherwise being into toe sucking would be one too.
i mean if “not wanting sex” is asexual and asexuality isnt real then “wanting sex (with women)” isn’t real either
also asexuality isnt not wanting sex you fucking dingus if you listened to us for 2 seconds you’d learn sexual orientation and libido arent the same thing
Why do none of y’all know what the fuck you’re talking about?
Asexuality isn’t a sexual orientation because “does not experience sexual attraction” or “not wanting sex” (which is how many aces define asexuality, see @asexualmeansnosex) aren’t sexual orientations. Orientation is about which gender(s) you are attracted to. Unless you are aroace or define asexual to mean “does not experience any attraction to any gender,” (a third possible ace definition, yikes) it simply has nothing to do with orientation.
Further proof of asexuality not being an orientation is the fact that you can be “grey” or “demi” ace, you cannot be partially gay or partially straight. You cannot be more or less bisexual on a spectrum. You cannot be gay most of the time but if you really get to know someone well you might be bi. No orientation functions as a “spectrum.” No orientation has a “choose your own definition” challenge.
Not to mention, wanting to have sex with a specific person and gender is sexual attraction. Wanting to fuck someone is, in fact, sexual attraction. Just as we would sit down a straight woman who “is totally straight but also I love to fuck women, all I want to do is fuck women,” and say, “I don’t think you’re straight,” it’s absolutely appropriate to say to an ace person, “Wanting to fuck is the opposite of what your identity says it is.”
Libido and asexuality aren’t the same thing but asexuality can be affected by libido. People with low libidos might think they’re ace—strange but things like that don’t happen with any actual orientations. Also, if libido and asexuality have nothing in common, why do y’all act like doctors form of conversion therapy on aces is prescribing medication that affects libido? Why is the one proof of ace oppression—the existence of HSSD in the DSM, something y’all take wildly out of context—simply about a lack of sexual DESIRE if that has nothing to do with y’all?
If asexuality isn’t about not wanting to fuck, why is your oppression all about being in a sex obsessed society? Y’all can want sex too, apparently.
Why do you think aces and aros have two orientations? How does that work?
Admit to yourselves that asexuality isn’t an orientation, it does not function like an orientation, and it is rightfully not treated like one. A gay aces’ orientation is “gay,” a bisexual aces’s orientation is “bisexual.” The SAM does not exist irl nor should it.
This part lost me.
Libido and asexuality aren’t the same thing but asexuality can be affected by libido. People with low libidos might think they’re ace—strange but things like that don’t happen with any actual orientations. Also, if libido and asexuality have nothing in common, why do y’all act like doctors form of conversion therapy on aces is prescribing medication that affects libido? Why is the one proof of ace oppression—the existence of HSSD in the DSM, something y’all take wildly out of context—simply about a lack of sexual DESIRE if that has nothing to do with y’all?
A. asexuality can be affected by libido:
Listen, no mater how horny or wanton i am, my answer to sex with another person is no. There are things in my night stand that will help me handle my business without having sex. So i can have a sex drive, a libido, and still be asexual.
B. People with low libidos might think they’re ace—strange but things like that don’t happen with any actual orientations:
Yes, they do, A fair amount of people don’t figure out what they are sexually until older. Men with wives in there 40′s accepting they are gay is a thing that happens. Women figuring out the reason their 20 marriage failed is because they are attracted to other women is a thing that happens. Having a low libido so you are not wanting sex will not change who you are attracted to since attraction doesn’t equate to wanting to fuck. People can be wrong about themselves and coupled with the societal pressure to fit into a mold and the stunning lack of schooling on this topic its fairly common to try to convince yourself you are something you are not, and sometimes it take s few tries to get it right.
C. Also, if libido and asexuality have nothing in common, why do y’all act like doctors form of conversion therapy on aces is prescribing medication that affects libido? Why is the one proof of ace oppression—the existence of HSSD in the DSM, something y’all take wildly out of context—simply about a lack of sexual DESIRE if that has nothing to do with y’all?
Its Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) or inhibited sexual desire (ISD) is considered a sexual dysfunction and is characterized as a lack or absence of sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity, as judged by a clinician.
It has nothing to do with us. I have sexy fantasy, mostly about robots and never featuring me. Having a want to be sexual and not having an approved outlet (No interest in sex with people) is sometimes frustrating. If a doctor gave me a medication to increase my libido in an attempt to alleviate that frustration, all that would happen is I would burn threw batteries quicker. It would not solve the frustration and would make it worse.
If i didn’t have resources and just went to a doctor to find out if there is something wrong with being 30 and not wanting to get married and the doc looked up my symptoms and came back with this, he would be wrong. I would be labeled as having a metal disorder rather than having an uncommon sexuality. And that’s bad.
Are y’all okay?
thanks! I hate it
hey?? i think it’s time we all fucking delete because i just had to experience this in real time:
My girlfriend is a bisexual who isn’t sexually or romantically attracted to anyone
if she’s dating you... she’s romantically attracted to you
don’t know what to tell you besides “please actually think about what the fuck you think romantic attraction is because clearly you don’t understand how words work”
Asexual Pick Up Lines
Hey baby, are you a firework?
Because you’re breathtakingly beautiful, but I don’t want you anywhere near my genitals.
hey?? i think it’s time we all fucking delete because i just had to experience this in real time:
QPPs exist but nice arophobia i gues
queer-platonic partnerships? having a best friend doesn’t make you a lesbian
Hey Rose you know I’m a grey aroace lesbian right? Or do you wanna tell Jade she’s a man.
///grey/// aroace so uhhh then you DO experience sexual and/or romantic attraction to women 🤔 thus making you not at all who this post is about
