[colorisbyshe]

Honestly, ace discourse wouldn’t exist if people were capable of understanding that every single person on the fucking planet not only has a DIFFERENT relationship to sex/relationships/attraction as everyone else but also a COMPLICATED relationship to sex/relationships/attraction. Every single person! Yes, even the privileged ones.

Because we live in a society that demands sex as much as it punishes it. That both glorifies and demonizes sex. Sex is only good within very specific contexts but if you don’t like those contexts or act within them, suddenly you are perverse and wrong. Even people with healthy relationships to sex, relationships, and attraction still face pitfalls that complicate matters–partners who don’t have healthy relationships or maybe they can’t get a partner at all. Break ups. Factors that affect their libidos or interest in relationships. Periods where sex and romance don’t matter at all because something else is a priority.

And of course, your gender, sexual orientation, race, class, and every other identity impacts not just YOUR relationship to sex and all that but also everyone ELSE’S relationship and response to your sex, relationships, attraction. And the identities of the people you are and aren’t attracted to impacts that too! From the race of your partner to same gender relationships to people who prefer fat partners to whatever the fuck else… all of this impacts the complications around sex, relationships, and attraction.

And yet it is only people on the ace and aro “spectrums” who are obsessed with pretending their relationships to these things are wholly unique or special. That they have created new social classes. They are obsessed with feeling different because they think there is some homogeneous relationship to sex and love that the rest of the world is partaking in that they are somehow excluded from. When really everyone has something complicated from, their own hyper specific contexts where they do or don’t want sex or love or whatever.

Nothing about your relationship to sex or love makes you more or less LGBT. If you are gay and don’t want to have sex, ever, you are still gay. If you are cisgender and straight and only feel capable of sexual desire for longterm monogamous partners and even then, you only want to fuck on Tuesday mornings and Friday nights.. you’re still straight. You haven’t discovered a new class of heterosexuality that is “queer’ or different. Rather, EVERY person who is heterosexual is different in how they perform or experiecne it. You are the same in your difference. A cishet who doesn’t ever want sex because of trauma is no more or less cishet than one who wants sex all the time because of trauma or a cishet who doesn’t ever want sex because they don’t feel sexual attraction or whatever else.

Gayness, straightness, and bisexuality are not defined by HOW you do or don’t want sex or HOW you do or don’t want to date, it’s just defined by WHO you want to be with. There are infinite ways for HOW you can gay, straight, or bi and none of them are separate identities.

[assignedligmaatbirth]

I hate when people say that q*eer is a slur is a TERF dog whistle.

TERF DOGWHISTLES:

urls with an emphasis on female reproductive organs (“uterus-femme” etc)

the phrases “radical feminist/radfem” and “gender critical/gendercrit” in their bios

“TIMs” - a phrase used by terfs to misgender trans women

anti-sex worker sentiment - not all TERFs are SWERFs, but most are

NOT TERF DOGWHISTLES:

not liking the q slur

being an ace exclusionist

truscum/transmeds, while they do suck, are not TERFs

being a lesbian ??? i see so many people who are like “hey i see you use the d slur. are you a terf?” stop being lesbophobic

stop watering down TERF to mean “any meanie on the internet who disagrees with mainstream liberal lgbt politics” it has a specific meaning for a reason. support your trans sisters

[14-hiatus]

No, ace exclusionists shit is literally a terf dog whistle. Terfs have literally admitted this. I have seen terfs say this shit. Being against the term "queer" is also smth that is a terf dog whistle that terfs have agreed to as a way to lure brand new terfs in. Truscum and Transmeds are inherently transphobic. And, lesbians (especially young ones) are vulnerable to being recruited by terfs and repeating terf rhetoric.

You just shot yourself in the foot with your own damn ignorance, bye.

Also, your acephobia is showing.

[assignedligmaatbirth]

hi, i usually don’t entertain these kinds of comments but this really severely bothers me.

there is a MAJOR problem in discourse spaces with people like yourself conflating TERFs with your regular run-of-the-mill discourser. let me spell it out for you in simple terms. a lot of ace exclusionists are trans. a lot of people who oppose the q slur are traumatized trans people who don’t want to be called a slur. you are calling trans people TERFs. TERF as a term exists for a reason and watering it down to mean “any meanie i personally disagree with” actively harms trans women. knock that shit off

[14-hiatus]

I am trans and aromantic asexual. There are literally TERFs who fucking say that part of recruiting literal TERFs is by spreading acephobia and ace exclusionist arguments. Also, there are trans women who have been TERFs. Look at Blaire White. There are trans people who can be bigoted and transphobic. Your acephobia and ignorance showing. I have seen screenshots of twitter users who are TERFs and tumblr users who are TERFs, who express that being acephobic and an ace exclusionist is an easy first step to turn people against trans women. The process is a bit long and complicated, but it involves attacking people who are queer and don't fit the binary of being gay or straight. This translates into more discourse of bi vs pan, whether nonbinary is valid or not, goes into what terms bi ppl or lesbians can or cannot use, how queer is not valid, and it slowly devolves into hating on trans women and associating them with destroying womanhood and shit. It goes from dropping the A, to dropping the Q, to dropping the T rhetoric from LGBTQ+. The influx of LGB only supporters who want to drop the T, are also ace exclusionists and this has evolved into gatekeeping of trans ppl from their own ficking community. This bi vs pan discourse devolved into ppl excluding trans ppl from the LGBTQ+ community. Literally seen an entire post about this topic.

Also, the term "queer" is inclusive of all non heteromantic heterosexual people. Some people may have trauma with it, which is valid. But it is a valid identity nonetheless. It may be a slur but it is a reclaimed one.

And acephobes aren't "meanies", they are bigots who do more harm to an innocent community than anything. Don't fucking belittle the discrimination I an asexual face on the internet and this society. Living in an allonormative, heteronormative, and amatonormative society is inherently oppressive and is tied to ableism and the rampant aphobia, queerphobia, homophobia, etc. We face. People have threatened to kill me because I am aromantic asexual. A teenage girl got murdered because she was outed as asexual. Asexuals have dealt with corrective r•pe and sexual violence. We have been kicked out of homes and certain countries try to force conversion therapy on us. Thave been aces who were given death threats because of ace exclusionists. Do not delegitimize the struggles and discrimination we face, by calling our oppressors and discriminators "meanies". One of the first steps to TERF recruitment is turning the LGBTQ+ community against itself and the people within it.

The LGBTQ+ community is NOT oppression Olympics or a playground for bigotry. It's a community. But, you are forcing me to express the oppression and discrimination I face as an asexual for you to consider me a valid member of the LGBTQ+ community. Which is frankly disgusting. Asexuals have always been part of the LGBTQ+ community, as have aromantics. Do not ever forget that.

Also, did you know that just like... how there are homophobic gay people? Biphobic bi ppl? Trans ppl can be transphobic too. Do more research before you pull this outta your ass.

Trans people who have internalized transphobia are more likely to be transmeds/truscum/Terfs. This is just a fact. They are more likely to be transphobic towards others, because they are transphobic towards themselves. I didn't overcome and destroy my internalized transphobia for you to make a joke out of the harm and dangers of internalized transphobia and TERF rhetoric. I am a trans person and I damn fucking sure I know more about my own community and what constitutes as dog whistles to potential oppression towards me and my own community.

Alsoooo, transmeds/truscum are inherently transphobic. Don't forget that. <3

[charsui]

Hi there, got a few things to help you out so you don't look like you have brain worms, not saying you do now, just trying to avoid it in future.

• So you've acknowledged that you're a trans aro-ace and that TERFs aren't a fan of you. Can I suggest that it's probably NOT the aro-ace part? Just thinking aloud here.

• Blaire White is not a TERF, she's a bigot. She doesn't believe in any feminist cause, that's kinda the point, she's just a right-winger. TERFs need to have the aesthetics of feminism and the alleged support of others. If you watch the content of Blaire White (not for fun but for the understanding of the enemy) you'll learn she doesn't do any of that she was huge on the antifeminism and antiSJW scenes back in 2014-2016. (man am I old to remember that so well)

• okay this whole acephobia to TERF/bigot pipeline thing is a bit difficult you see, the idea for example that a cis het couple who doesn't have sex all that much can be added into the LGBT community which needs the support of eachother to live our lives is a difficult conversation. I understand that the difficulty in life that comes from what I would describe as "flat out" ace/aro people could need a community to support them as trying to live without any sexual contact in a relationship can mean a number of conversations and arguments. However, there are so many degrees that show up now with the MOGAI stuff that need to be addressed less as a sexual orientation but more as a decrease in libido or something that may need to be looked into as a result of prior experiences, i.e. trauma.

• corrective rape and other experiences are horrific to anyone and there is no one making light of that, so to say or imply that is to take ligmacourse's arguments out of context (at the BIGGEST stretch and mental gymnastics known to man) or literally making things up.

• the conversation of acephobes are meanies is that to a degree, anyone outside of your romantic or physical relationships, saying anything against you cannot really affect you and are basically just meanies online. That's a pretty light deal to face in comparison to trans people who are doxxed, hunted, delegitimised, and so many other things that are WAY more extreme. This has to be something you understand right? How many videos do you see from the regular right-winger crowd of the "asexual agenda"?

• okay there's a lot on that last point that is a lot of your own pain and I'm sorry you had to go through that. I understand those feelings, being a genderfluid/transfemme non binary individual, and an open bisexual who was raised in THE CHURCH™ those feelings of self suppression and repression do suck. However, not everyone on the internet knows that and so you cannot fly off the handle like that at someone who doesn't know your story, relax, it's the internet, people don't know you and you aren't some people's entire world and focus. Secondly, I literally research dogwhistles, it's what I do almost full time now and I make videos explaining them and working through them. Now I'm not saying my knowledge and list is entirely flawless but I've definitely not come across this as a dogwhistle.

• you have to be nice to people if they are meant to be nice to you, if people say they have a problem with the word queer, steer clear of it. Personally I would say the best ruling is that don't use it until the people you know around you are okay with it because then it helps protect people against that hurt like you would want to be protected against your hurt.

Thank you, and please, try to understand other people as you've come into this firing on all cylinders and it doesn't help a growth or building of bridges. That is if that's what you wan to do.

[stfudiscoinfernoed-archive]

If you use “aerf” (asexual exclusionary radial feminist) or “blerf” (bisexual lesbian radical feminist), you are a transmisogynist. Terfs working to keep or make LGBT and feminist spaces hostile to trans women and partnering with with conservatives to pass regulations and legislation that target trans women will never be equivalent to people saying cishet aces/aros aren’t LGBT or people saying that bisexual and lesbian are mutually exclusive terms. By using aerf or blerf you are dismissing and minimizing the harm terfs do.

[fishfrommars]

I am a little confused about whay blerf means

[stfudiscoinfernoed-archive]

Bisexual lesbian popped up as a term to describe women who are primarily attracted to women but are attracted to other genders. People have rightfully pointed out that bisexual already includes the possibility of gender preference, that all sexualities include potential attraction to nonbinary people, and that lesbian is a term that exists to specifically exclude attraction to men, so bisexual lesbian is a term that’s useless and ultimately harmful to lesbians and bi women. Some people have decided that criticism of the label is exclusionary and bigoted, so started calling anyone who criticized the term blerfs.

[puttingasexyback]

Also the term bi lesbian was coined by the terf redpeaches to mean lesbian who dates trans women—I love how everyone forgets that /s

[asexualprivilege]

Hi! Would you reblog my pinned donation post?

of course, i am always happy to!! i hope it helps 💘💘💘

[mostlybaby-deactivated20230510]

Hi 💕 💕

So last month I was accepted into my dream school with a scholarship in creative writing!! Unfortunately, I owe past due tuition at another school that I attended for literally one day years ago. With this debt unpaid, I am not able to receive my transcripts proving my withdrawal from that school which I need in order to register for classes this Fall. On top of that my account has been placed with the Attorney General’s Office of my state.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve raised 300 dollars and I am so grateful. Please keep reblogging and boosting and donate if you can! Every little penny counts! 💕💕

https://cash.app/$IjaneeNetter

Pay me on Cash App

Instantly exchange money for free on Cash App

paypal.me/Ijanee

Pay Ijanee Netter using PayPal.Me

Go to paypal.me/Ijanee and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

VENMO: IjaneeNetter

[mostlybaby-deactivated20230510]

I can’t believe we’re halfway there already! Thank you so much to everyone who has shared and donated😭😭

543/1159! 💕

Keep Boosting!!

[mostlybaby-deactivated20230510]

We’re almost there! Thank you to everyone who has shared and donated! Keep Boosting! 💕

835.73/1159!! 💕💕

[mostlybaby-deactivated20230510]

1000/1159 so far! 💕

[mostlybaby-deactivated20230510]

Update: I fr cannot win for losing. Just got off the phone with the DOJ and they raised the debt. I paid off what was on my Venmo card because my PayPal card hasn’t came in yet. I would love to have this paid off ASAP. Keep boosting and donate if you can! 💕

732.49/1286

[mostlybaby-deactivated20230510]

Thank you to everyone who has reblogged/donated. I’m trying to have this paid off by Monday ideally. Please keep boosting as much as possible and and please please please donate if you can! Every penny counts!

873.94/1286 💕

[mostlybaby-deactivated20230510]

Update: Move in day is on the 20th which is less than 3 weeks away and I’m still short about 400 dollars so please keep reblogging and please please please if you have the means consider donating. I hate to beg like this but I am desperate. If I don’t get this debt paid off by tomorrow at the least, I won’t be able to receive my transcripts or my letter or even register for classes at all. Keep boosting and donate if you can! 💕

[mostlybaby-deactivated20230510]

Update: I’ve been so busy preparing for the move I forgot to update! I just paid off some of the debt. I’m paying the rest off on Monday thank God! I want to thank everyone who has made this possible! I fr cried when I reached my goal! Thank you so much! 😭😭

I have about 300/900 dollars left to put towards housing because my scholarship only covers tuition. I did apply for a grant, waiting to hear back. So if y’all want to keep reblogging and donating, I would definitely appreciate it! Thank you again and again! 💕💕

[mostlybaby-deactivated20230510]

Update 8/9: I can’t believe it I just paid off the rest of my debt! Thank you to everyone who has made this possible! I just called my old school and requested everything. Thank you again and again and again! 😭😭💕💕

I also sent the rest of my money to my current school for housing. My scholarship only covered tuition. So far I’ve applied for a grant, an emergency loan, and work study but until then I am officially broke and my housing has to be paid off by 09/05. Please please please keep boosting as much as possible and donate if you have the means!! 💕 (Sorry for the picture quality, I had to take it off my old laptop.)

461/1118.75 💕

[meangirlnurse]

there are so many funny mogai identities but “demiromantic” is severely underrated as one of the funniest

[brooklyn-isnt-my-real-name]

“i need a connection with someone before i can have a connection with someone”

[yveltal-yeets-nasties]

it means you need to hqve a serious connection you dense brick walls

as in, no love at first sight. no quick crushes. depending on the person it can take YEARS. as in 10+. but thats hard to make fun of, huh?

[homostupid]

and that makes us opressed because….??

[yveltal-yeets-nasties]

because were viewed as broken. told to consider if our meds are doing this, that we can be fixed. that theres something wrong, and that were normal, despite being treated like freaks

people will say im normal, but in the same breath say im just demi because of trauma, or my meds

because when they start grilling me about my mental health, trauma, and meds, this is not longer about some uwu cuhringey identity

its about ableism and hypocrisy, and making aspec people feel unsafe

[homostupid]

…….so a few ppl saying you weird is the same thing as systematic opression?

[yveltal-yeets-nasties]

did you miss the med part?

when im in danger of being taken off meds because im demi, that is systematic. taking deppressed children off anti depressents and anti psychotics. is systematic oppression.

[homostupid]

…..ok? english is not my first language so im not sure i understand what you are saying?

is this conversation about “demiphobia” or ableism? in which country do you live that you will have you medication away because you take longer to form romantic conections? and if that rly do happen, what about demiromantic ppl that do not take meds? in which way, shape and form systematic opression affects them?

[yveltal-yeets-nasties]

gay people not being able to donate blood is systematic oppression, even if not all gay people donate blood

its about both arophobia and ableism

and its viewed that if you ‘have a low libido’ or ‘have no romantic feelings/minimal’, thqt its your meds. this has happened to me, and countless others, many times

[homostupid]

that comparission you just did is rly uhhhh not pretty.

gay men not being able to donate blood comes from a bigger problem that affects all gay men. you know, that little historical moment called the aids crisis?

gay men cant donate blood bc we are considerated giant buckets of disease, and this is not THE bigger problem, that is just the consequence of a series of problems that happened and keep happening to us and it doesnt JUST affect the ones that want to donate blood but all of us.

there are a lot of reasons (dangerous ones) im which might cause low libido and your doctor needs to know. yes, you might simply be whateversexual, but low libido might come from serious issues and you cant simply say “its not that” bc it might cause problems. and i say that as someone who suffered heavily from it due to lack of exercise + insonmia + anti depression meds. a lot of times medication is the cause of low libido.

so i’ll ask you once again, in which way shape and form does systematic opression acts in demiromantic ppl? is it illegal? are there laws against it? is there a big rate of homeless demiromantic youth? i need to understand bc i’m sorry if it might sound rude, but as someone who lives i the country that kill lgbt ppl the most (and ofc keep the counting of those deaths) its rly not in my camp of vision the harsh lives demiromantic ppl.

[yveltal-yeets-nasties]

lqck of libido is not whqt being demi is. it is whqt they interperet it as.

and okay, how qbout abuse. and r*pe. all of that common abuse? of ‘oh, youll find the right one’

just like us? gay women will find the right men. trans people with get over it. aspecs will learn to like it.

[homostupid]

if men of those sexualities were also being in big danger of r*pe and abuse then yes, but that is not the case. women are the victims. and that is mysoginy.

an asexual woman saying no to a man has the same chances of being abused than any other woman. your sexuality doesnt matter bc the reason the abuse is happening in the first place is bc men believe they own women’s bodies. is not “i dont want you to be asexual” is “i dont want you to say no to me”.

and again, this is not systematic opression, and these comments can be said about anyone and anything, not only sexuality.

my brother who is 17 wants to work with vídeo games, my parents say is just a phase. is he opressed for it? were I opressed when i was emo and my parents said the same thing? (they were right but like lmao)

the reason why those comments get to lgbt ppl is bc there already is systematic opression and all the bullshit it puts we throught. it becomes a micro-agression you know? you get home from getting kicked in the guts to have ppl saying “your hair is ugly”. its not the worse thing that happened to us but its just one more grain of salt.

[inclus-cringe-comp]

[babyfairy]

can you drop the pansexual flag reciepts? im trans with two cis pan friends and they're camp "we just like the flag better" so im hoping this might get them to think critically about the ideas that shape the language they use to describe their attraction

yeah here

[babyfairy]

seeing that the creator of the pan flag is a huge lesbophobe and transphobe really solidifies the fact that i just do not and will not ever feel comfortable around pansexual people bro like it’s 2021 and i’ve yet to see any pan person really give any sort of explanation as to how pansexuality differs from bisexuality in any real, tangible way without being biphobic. i’m so sick of the “hearts not parts” narrative and i’m so sick of other sexualities being treated as inherently transphobic/exclusive of nonbinary people because that just flat out isn’t true but it seems like no matter what anyone says a lot of people just cannot get that through their skulls at all. anyways here’s hoping the flag’s creator gets beat the fuck up for constantly speaking on what lesbians should and shouldn’t be doing on their twitter because they’re on some big brained horseshit level of thinking theyre a Lesbian Authority Figure or whatever, cheers

[babyfairy]

this is genuinely the ugliest fucking flag ive ever seen in my life

[colorisbyshe]

do u feel like "-romantic" identities are completely unnecessary and that asexual should mean no attraction at all rather than just being about sexual attraction? i agree with ur post abt ace/aro being unnecessary identifiers and ive been thinking abt this a lot.... like no one cares how u experience attraction specifically, its abt who u experience it for?

I think -romantic identities are actively harmful and shouldn’t be used at all.

“Romantic” orientations require a sexualization of literally every single person who does not use the Split Attraction Model. And it specifically hurts bisexuals because every other sexuality has an “alternate” term that does not use the suffix -sexual (ie heterosexuals have straight and we’re all not assholes who call gay people homosexauls… we call them gay and lesbians). 

And… it actually hurts ace people too.

Let me explain. Bisexual means “attracted to two or more genders.” That’s it! That means you should not assume this person experiences romantic OR sexual attraction, just that in some way, they are non-platonically attracted to multiple genders–typically their own and others. When you enforce “the suffix -sexual means sexual attraction,” that means that everyone who identifies as bisexual (including minors, survivors, sex repulsed people) experiences sexual attraction, recognizes that they experience sexual attraction, and does not have a complicated relationship with sexual attraction. Unless someone “outs” themselves as biromantic instead, every single bisexual is assumed to experience and enjoy sexual attraction and desires. The only way they can avoid this is by using the term “bi” instead, furthering the stigma concerning bisexual people and sex in general.

That actively hurts ace people. Instead of normalizing the idea that ANYONE can be ace or aro or have a complicated relationship with sex and romance, it instead says “Presume everyone experiences both forms of attraction and enjoys it until otherwise stated.”

So, they’ve created a society where aces and aros are made more “invisible,” where people who may genuinely have REALLY traumatic relationships with sex and romance are sexualized without consent (and who maybe DO experience sexual attraction but do not want to have an identity that centralizes around sex and only sex), and where cis straight people take us even less seriously before because they always knew LGBT identities were about sex, now didn’t they?

Which is why at this point a lot of aces object that “People already think the suffix -sexual is about sex!” Which is the most moronic, pathetic excuse I’ve ever heard. If someone thinks it’s about sex, correct them. Tell them it’s actually an outdated reference to “sex” as in gender. Heterosexual means attracted to the other (hetero) gender (SEXual). That’s why we also have the outdated term tr*nss*xual (across gender).

The real solution here is either give up the ghost and asexuality and aromanticism are modifiers and not orientations. They are non-essential modifiers that can help with interpersonal relationships and can be helpful labels for those who are trying to find validity in their experiences but carries no social capital. This means you can be a “cishet ace” which is a cis heterosexual ace, no more of this “-romantic” bullshit.

Or we take the better route and make “asexual” mean “attracted to no genders,” which would make it a valid orientation (as aroace is now) and actually relevant to a lot of discussions about identity.  I think this one is less likely to happen.

But… I’m gonna say something controversial here. I don’t think both solutions can happen at the same time. Aces who use ace to mean does not experience sexual attraction CONSTANTLY snipe about being ace doesn’t mean they can’t love romantically. Having ace mean both “does not experience sexual attraction” AND “do not experience sexual AND romantic attraction” actively hurts ace interests. Because it also hurts aces who use it to mean “aroace” and are thus assumed to be romantically available because all the other aces mean it to just mean “lacks sexual attraction, trust me I still wanna date and cuddle and even maybe have sex tho.”

It seems to me, genuinely, almost all attempts at creating language for ace and aro experiences has been done thoughtlessly, without any grounding in reality or consideration of consequence. It’s an incoherent identity that mistakenly sexualizes every single non-ace person and actually quite a few ace people.

That’s not fighting the sex obsessed culture we live in. That’s reinforcing it.

[colorisbyshe]

someone brought this post back and i gotta say… i made some points

[hearthome-deactivated20210601]

some people on this site seem to have a really profound misunderstanding of what slurs are. like, you can’t “use a word as a slur.” it’s either always a slur or not a slur, and a slur is different from an insult.

for example- gay is not a slur, since it’s a term gay people chose for ourselves, but is frequently used as an insult because of homophobia. in contrast, dyke is a slur because it originated as a way to criticize stereotypical lesbians, then was later reclaimed by some wlw.

slurs cannot be universally reclaimed. a word does not go from a slur to “no longer a slur.” like that’s not how this works lol, and there will always be people who are uncomfortable with a slur you reclaim.

remember that your experiences are not universal- in many places, slurs like queer are still used and it’s incredibly disrespectful to those of us who’ve been called slurs you haven’t to say that they’re not slurs anymore.

[hazeldomain]

Queer is a word people chose for ourselves. The original quote was “not gay as in happy but queer as in fuck you.” As in, they specifically requested not to be called gay because it implied a level of happiness which was impossible given the amount of discrimination and pain that came with being queer.

Queer became an insult because queer people identified as queer. It does not have to be reclaimed because we never lost our claim in the first place.

If queer and gay are both used as insults and one feels disrespectful but the other one doesn’t, you’ve got a double standard that queer people aren’t responsible for fixing.

[hearthome-deactivated20210601]

queer is not a word lgbt+ people chose for ourselves. it originated as a simile for strange (german, quer), and we were called it because we were seen as strange, weird, perverse, etc. its use as a derogatory word for us started in the 19th century. gay wasn’t even a word we identified ourselves with until the 20th, and queer was largely not reclaimed by anyone until at least the 1960s.

phrases such as “not gay as in happy but queer as in fuck you” originated when protests were sparked in the 80′s and 90′s by police violence and the aids crisis- but we had already been called queer as in strange or perverse long before its reclaimation, and that was used to grab the attention of our oppressors. it was used in protests precisely because of its status as a slur, because back then, it was seen as an ugly word. it made cishet people UNCOMFORTABLE to see a slur be reclaimed, which made the movement gain momentum. 

queer is a SLUR, not an insult, because of its history. learn that history before coming onto posts like this. this is why it differs from gay, and why i compared the word queer to the word dyke.

[transcephalopod]

call me a big mean lgbt but I think accepting, normalizing, and celebrating the same gender love that's illegal in 70 countries around the world is far more important than stopping gay couples from kissing at pride to make romance repulsed aromantic graysexuals more comfortable

[transcephalopod]

for everyone in the notes whining about how no asexual person ever says anything like this:

[transcephalopod]

and here's some more

[cowardly-bisexual]

pansexuals walked so that super-straights could run

[cowardly-bisexual]

if you create a sexual orientation that is centred around attraction to and inclusivity of trans/non-binary people it’s only a matter of time before some will take it and use it to create an orientation that excludes trans people

either way, attraction to trans and non-binary people should never be a basis of sexuality labels because it’s dethatched from how sexual orientation actually works and because it inevitably leads to bigotry

[lesbx]

there is no part of the terf ideology that has anything to do with ace discourse. literally none at all. if you think it does then you fundamentally misunderstand what terf means and you are beyond help. stop watering down the issue of transmisogyny. trans women are enough to fight for, we are enough to grieve for, and our problems are enough to stand up for on their own, so it makes absolutely no goddamn sense to make the issue about an entirely unrelated topic bc you can’t muster up the empathy for us to not twist the discussion around your internet arguments. tme ppl can and will reblog just keep your mouth shut for once

[vaperroreon]

“if you connect the obvious dots that link these two ideologies together that have the same overall goal of Eurocentric assimilation you hate trans people” no wonder this fucking post got deleted lol

[lgbtpolitics]

The sources on this are frequently tumblr posts 🤣🤣

“Same overall goal of Eurocentric assimilation” one is disagreement over who should be categorised as LGBT the other is about whether trans women are women. You can find “similarities” between any arguments it doesn’t make them the same.

[achillescourse]

[colorisbyshe]

i still think the funniest concept i have seen gain like… fairly widespread credibility is the idea that you can experience NOT experiencing attraction on a spectrum

“yes this is the not experiencing sexual attraction spectrum, we don’t experience sexual attraction except for those of us who do”

and then when you ask where that spectrum of NOT experiencing but sometimes experiencing sexual attraction ends and you get accused of being a bigot. as if it’s wrong to want to know at what point a person who experiences sexual attraction and likes to fuck stops being asexual…

like man i know i’m dumb as shit on a regular day but this shit is next level like maybe i’m smart if this is my competition. people really will say and believe literally anything.

[colorisbyshe]

this is still bothering me so i do want to add another note–

this is a clear symptom of how people feel otherized from their sexual desire. like in a culture that shames sexuality as much as it overemphasizes it, a lot of people feel this obvious need to qualify their sexual desires.

‘i experience less sexual attraction than others, so i’m ace but like… grey’ (didn’t know we had an average but sure) and ‘i don’t experience sexual attraction but i can still want sex’ (ie sex positive ‘aces’) and ‘i’m demisexual so unlike the rest of y’all, i fall in love with the person and only desire sex after’ (even though i’ve seen some of these people claim to also still like casual sex?)

all seem like responses to a society that tells them that plain sexual desire is selfish, gross, deviant, or perverted.

so, it turns into hiding your sexual attraction and sexual desires under language that diminishes them or makes it seem like you aren’t as sexual as everyone else. you want sex or appreciate people’s looks for better, elevated reasons than everyone else, escaping the taint of it all. you want sex but you don’t need it. you don’t get horny, you just ‘have a libido and will find a partner to sate it.’

you can have your repression and eat/fuck it, too.

rather than normalizing your own desires and embracing them, you find ways to act on them and feel them while creating a safe distance so you don’t ever internalize them? they are something removed from the core of who you are. you are other from them and the ‘sex crazed’ society, by choice, because you would never be so low as to be driven by base desires like everyone else.

it’s funny, like i said in the first part of this post, to see how this turns into rhetoric irl, but fuck it’s also depressing too.

[achillescourse]

really not keen about the alternating infantilisation of lgbt ppl (the word enbys, useless lesbians, uwu soft trans boys, guys gals and nonbinary pals)

and hypersexualision (top/bottom becoming the new 'whos the girl', being bi is somehow abt being sex and genital obsessed, being 'pure ace unlike those gross allos' (never talking specifically abt straight ppl), transwomen being seem as a fetish and not as people)

both of these show how lgbt peoples relationships w sex and themselves have been warped by our lgbt-phobic society

ace people butting their heads in with weird, out of touch, and incorrect ideas about sex and sexual attraction is not going to be helpful or healthy for anyone

sexual attraction includes wanting to have sex, and if you do not want to have sex, you are either ''allo'' or should not be having sex

destroy the idea that you can have sex with someone you arent sexually attracted to (in a relationship context, this doesn't include work transactions)