So, my now blog is @asharia, you can find me there now. I am sadly losing this account due to not having access anywhere other than on the app on my phone (two step auth sucks ass).
KIROKAZE
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

if i look back, i am lost
ojovivo
AnasAbdin

Andulka

tannertan36
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One Nice Bug Per Day
I'd rather be in outer space đž
art blog(derogatory)

Janaina Medeiros
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor

shark vs the universe
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ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
todays bird
almost home
occasionally subtle
seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia
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seen from Singapore
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seen from Brazil
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@ashariajade
So, my now blog is @asharia, you can find me there now. I am sadly losing this account due to not having access anywhere other than on the app on my phone (two step auth sucks ass).
Villain: Dude, what about Frank?!
Hero: ⊠who?
Villain: Frank! Franklin Jones! Wears my henchmenâs uniform, had the key to my door, GOT MURDERED BY SOME ASSHOLE TWO WEEKS BEFORE HIS KIDâS BALLET RECITAL?!
Hero: ⊠you know your henchmenâs names?
Villlain: OF COURSE I DO! I SEE THESE PEOPLE EVERY DAY! THEYâRE MY FRIENDS! What, you thought I just went to the fucking minion store and bought three hundred assistants?! People donât work for evil overlords unless they really like the evil overlord!
Hero: Well, I mean, I though henchmen were just kinda⊠there?
Villain: ⊠you thought Frank. Whom I entrusted with the key to my personal chamber. Who I named the godfather of my children. Was just. There.
Hero: YOU HAVE KIDS?!
Villain: HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT?! WEâVE BEEEN NEMESI FOR DECADES!
Hero: WHY WOULD I KNOW THAT? YOUâRE AN ASSHOLE I WANT DEAD!
Villain: HOW AM I THE VILLAIN HERE?!
I just turned to my housemate and said, âyâknow, weâd never know if we were hauntedâ because we have four cats between us, so every clunk, bump, and crash gets entirely ignored
and now I want a movie about a ghost becoming increasingly desperate to haunt a family but they have cats and so the poor dear goes completely ignored
Iâve had this thought before. My cats arenât allowed in the bedroom, and sometimes I hear them try to come in and just shout âNo thank you!â at them. How hilarious would it be if I was really yelling at a poor ghost, trying to spook me.
Between my cat and my ADHD (wait, where did I put my purse? Wasnât just here? Oh itâs in the pantry. Eh, must be a brain fail. Again.) I would never know whether or not my ass was haunted.
Spirit: (pulls out a tablecloth, everything on the table crashing onto the floor) Cat Owner: CUT IT OUT! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE DINING ROOM? Spirit: (nervously moves to the kitchen)
As your resident "essential" retail worker, if you can stay home...stay the fuck home.
It should not be this busy at my job.
If you don't need things and you're just shopping for things you want, go the fuck home.
RESPONSIBLE-black-unicorn
LET ME TELL YOU
LET ME FREAKING TELL YOU
I NEVER THOUGHT WE'D HAVE TO GET THERE
Man tried to get into an argument with me about the price of a fucking Roomba. Sir I will buy you a broom, get the hell out of my face.
I'm starting to realize the way people view essential workers is the same way my ex thought I was essential.
I don't enjoy wearing the mask all the time but I do it because I need to. I don't want to be mailing out these orders but I do it because I need to. I don't want to be here in the first place but I do it because I need to. If I didn't need to be here because of bills, I'd be in my gotdamn house but I'm trying to make sure I can take help my family. Also, if you're a person who also works in essential job and you are in any way obnoxious to your coworkers, I hope you personally know that I hate you.
I'm so full of rage right now đ
You need to be that spark.
So tired of the fake sugar daddy bot accounts on my posts and in my inbox when my Patreon (x) and Ko-fi (x) are right there.Â
get a job
Iâve got four, but thanks for trying.
All of these stories of CEOs cutting their salary to pay employees are supposed to be feel-good stories, but if cutting one salary is all it takes to pay all of them, thereâs something wrong.
Damn just shower thoughts didnât come to play today
this is literally how i dance
This went from âwow thatâs pretty neatâ to âWTF ITS ALIVEâ real quick
she did that
Scenario: You are watching this puppet show, and then after the song is over, the puppeteer smiles at you as if to thank you for your support, then her and the wooden mouse depart in opposite directions.Â
If this thought hadnât crossed anyoneâs mind watching this already, re-watch it taking into consideration that gravity exerts an unpredictable chaos on dangling objects, that the puppetâs own wobbliness is most of the movement we see here and this woman simply has that flawless of a feel for how physics will continue moving the limbs at the slightest single twitch of her finger. This is a real deal fucking puppeteer no matter what her background or how long sheâs been doing it. That wooden mouse is an appendage of this womanâs soul.
Listen, if on the one hand you worship a boundary-transgressing, plane-shifting, one-eyed god of madness and death, but on the other hand youâre still caping for all this normie bullshit like institutional racism and âtop kek thereâs only 2 genders lololol,â then youâre a joke and I'ma laugh at you. Git gud.
Heâs legit blood brothers with the genderqueer god of bottoming, when will yall learn
Racism is cowardice.
Racism is cowardice and there are no cowards warming benches in the Corpse-Hall
In less terrifying existential dread, the Mothmanâs been on a conference call behind me fo over an hour and I just heard him roll his DnD dice.Â
Distracted fidgeting, or new problem-solving mechanism, we may never know.
ETD: Have you triedâŠ.*rolls d20*âŠturning it off and on again?
This speaks to me on so many levels and i hate it
Jaskier would have written all the ballads and bops about Renfri, just saying. Sheâd have been his muse. Nothing but Witchers and Black Sun Princesses.
@theotherguysride
Yes but. But. But imagine Geralt slowly, painfully, telling Jaskier the story of Renfri. And Jaskier? He reacts as only a true bard can.Â
He writes a song about it.Â
Stregobor instantly becomes the most hated wizard on the entire continent, while Renfri is the Black Sun Princess, is remembered, is a model for little girls everywhere,.Â
Stregobor, that caterpillar eyebrowed bastard, gets exactly what he deserves
From the infamous bard Jaskier, known most widely as the creative force behind the popular piece, âToss a Coin to Your Witcherâ, comes what is sure to be another classic: âThrow a Rock at That Wizardâ.
Doctor: [singing to oneself]: Tka tka tooh, do do do do do do, de do do do do do beow beow beow beow beow beow buh nuh, bah dah buh buh buh buh, hey!
Someone else: Hey!
Doctor: What?
[for context, the plague doctor is scatting/humming the intro to the song âCome and Get Your Loveâ by Redbone, transitioning into the beginning lyrics that the offscreen voice accompanies them on]
I gotta say that since COVID-19 hit I have been surprised by the number of people who just seem to have plague doctor masks and cloaks just...lying around?
Iâm put out because work wonât let me use a plague doctor mask, even though I assured them I can insert pm 2.5 filters to make it functional.