I love this kind of shit because it happens to me all the goddamn time. Like:
-The other night I rolled over in the middle of the night to shake my partner awake, proceeded to tell him how I was glad that āthis time round we would truly have the freedom to love each other properlyā and how his hands belonged to his last self, but his eyes had never changed in all the lives Iād known him. And he just laid there in the dark like wtf because I was asleep. Like Iād woken him to tell him that all in my sleep and then left him to have a crisis.
- Watching the history channel with my Pop on the couch, tender age of 7, and theyāre talking about crucifixion. And my pop, ever the funny man, is like āthat looks like it aughta hurtā. And I just turn to look at him and without hesitation reply āonly at firstā. And heās like āwhat do you meanā and tiny me just shrugged and said āwell thereās a place beyond the hurt where everything just stopsā and he turned the telly off and left the room.
- night before Christmas 2012, dreamt Iād been stabbed in the lungs by an angel with the face of a falcon. He looked at me and told me he had to do it, so that āmy next breath would come as a rebirthā. When he started to glow so brightly that it burned my eyes, I woke up to all the lights in my house on and a dark bruise beneath my rib cage. Will admit, that one freaked me out.
- walked past a graveyard with a friend back in middle school on the way to her house, and mid conversation I stopped talking and stood stock still, looked over at the walls,and quietly said āI have a friend in thereā. Then picked up the conversation and continued strolling like nothing had happened. To be fair, I didnāt realise what Iād said. She still tells me Iām the reason she canāt walk past that graveyard anymore.
- a couple of years ago when I was in Wales I walked past an old stone house just outside of Aberystwyth, and just started to weep. I had the overwhelming thought that I needed to be in there to get dinner ready for the children, but in a different life so long ago and so impossible to reach, that thefeeling of loss was instant and overwhelming.
- was about to use a pedestrian crossing, when my whole body just sort of went hey donāt do that, and so I stopped and put my arm out to stop the woman who was crossing behind me, and 2 seconds later a car came skidding around the corner and crashed into the tree on the other side of the crossing, and I just whispered āha, not this timeā and didnāt really think about it until later when I realised Iād nearly died again. (Btw i waited for th ambulance to show up and the dude driving the car was fine, just hit his head and was drunk af at 10:30am on a Thursday).
- another dream I had just this week, I was sitting in an otherwise empty cinema with a tall, thin man. I canāt really recall what he looked like, except he was well dressed, impossibly pale, and he kind of blurred when you looked directly at him, so I mainly watched him out the corner of my eye and looked ahead at the blank movie screen. He was holding my hand, and he asked me if i enjoyed my life. I said yes and explained why. He then said, almost verbatim, āAnd how does this one weigh against the last? Can it tip the scales, or is it, at last, to be found lacking?ā And I replied, almost verbatim āI weigh my lives against my joy, and each life I find there is more joy to be discovered.ā He replied with a laugh, lifted my hand to a kiss and said ātill next time thenā and disappeared. I woke up in the dark with both my cats sitting on me, alert, and staring out my bedroom door.
So many more, but these are the first that come to mind.
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