25 Not So Easy Changes to Better Yourself
1. Take the extra time every time you go out to make sure you look neat.
Your hair shouldn’t look like you just got out of bed from flailing around all night nor should it look greasy or like you haven’t showered. If you wear sandals, those toenails better be neatly trimmed and filed or painted. If you go to school or work for the day then your clothes shouldn’t be a mass of wrinkles. Take pride in your appearance as it will give you more confidence and encourage good habits.
I know it’s great to just hop in the car and drive to the late night store for a pound of junk food with friends but take the extra minute to brush your hair or switch a stained shirt for a fresh shirt. Besides, you never know who you’re gonna see on your way out.
2. Learn to value your time.
This is really hard for me personally, but it’s super important. Your time and presence is something to be valued and consumed with gratitude, not taken advantage of and then thrown out. Valuing your time leads to you building more respect for yourself because you prevent people from just using you. It will help your stress because you don’t feel obligated to give up a night meant for you to do a favor for someone you know isn’t gonna pay you back like they promise.
If someone asks you to give them time last minute and you don’t mind or you really want to, go for it! If your first emotion is anxiety, stress, disappointment, or anger though, just say no. Don’t even give an excuse, just outright say no. Chances are they won’t even ask why they’ll just find someone else.
3.Be mindful of how you use your words.
Words can build people up and tear them down even quicker. Once it is said it can’t be easily taken back, so think carefully before you speak. Consider speaking slower to be more immersed in the conversation and think better of what you want to get across. You will come across more mature that way.
Trendy outfits are nice, sure. The issue with trends is that they fade and are not really worth their price more often than not. I saw a plain black crop top with a knot tied at the front for 20 bucks at the mall when I could literally do that myself for a quarter of that price. Be smart with what you buy. Make sure you set aside money to replace faded garments or ones that you’ve outgrown. Make sure you have proper business attire for professional engagements, elegant clothing for high end events, casual clothes for time out with friends. Be smart with what you invest in.
5. Speaking of investments, study up on financing and budgeting.
Learn how to watch the stock market so you know what to invest in. Do your own taxes. Learn how to make a budget and FOLLOW it. Money is value, and if you wait until your thirties or forties to learn how to build a foundation it will be too late and it will put you way behind. Yes, it’s boring, but it’s important.
6.Learn how to network and interact with people.
Lots of people deal with social anxiety and never really learn how to deal with it. You don’t need to thrust yourself into a crowd of people and try to mingle when you aren’t ready. Start small- just look people in the eyes and say good morning when they pass by you. Sit up straight when you’re talking to someone rather than slouching and refusing to meet their gaze. Do some research on tips for keeping up a good conversation and getting rid of jitters.
The fact of the matter is, most jobs require you have some kind of people skills. If you want to progress upwards and snag those promotions, get your name out, and build a good reputation, you’re gonna have to start talking with people.
Before you go on dates, job interviews, big meetings, etc. If you know what your date does for a living, do a little research on it. Google some good questions to ask in your job interview when they inevitably ask, “now what questions do you have for me?” Before meeting with someone big, do a little research on them to go in prepared. Show that you care, show that you are a go-getter, show that you are something to look up to.
8. Don’t keep around people who bring more negativity than joy or people who you worry about because they might embarrass you.
This includes friends, lovers, and unfortunately, family. Surround yourself with people who will better you, not people who will drag you down.
9. Don’t lower your standards because someone who doesn’t deserve you thinks you should.
10. Your choices and their consequences are yours to make and receive. Don’t allow anyone to try to control them.
11. Seek out goals and a life you truly want, not one that was mapped out for you by someone else.
12. Never change yourself to fit someone else’s idea of you.
13. Continue to educate yourself.
Study, study, study. Broaden your perspectives and increase your chance for opportunity.
14. Be aware of current events, local and global.
15. Being able to weigh risk vs. reward is something that will take you very far in career and life.
16. Learn the power of “No.”
Never feel like you have to do something. By being able to stand up for yourself and say no to things you don’t want, you empower yourself and put people who need it in their place.
17. Quit taking things personally.
Even if it was meant to be a personal attack, you don’t have to receive it as one. Just accept or ignore and move on to a freer life. Don’t let people have such control over your mental state.
18. Take pride in your space.
This means keeping your work area, home, and possessions clean and in good condition.
19. Treat yourself right.
Eat well, exercise daily (walking around and enjoying nature is perfectly fine), go to bed at a decent time, splurge on things you like because you’re in a good mood and want to treat yourself. Take care of yourself, love yourself.
20. Let your actions speak for you.
21. Don’t let other people’s problems weigh you down so much that you start to lose yourself in them.
Sure, you’re a great friend for listening to everyone’s problems, but that stays with you even if they feel better after. That bit of negativity has been split between you. If you feel like enough is enough, it’s okay to stop someone from sharing and politely telling them, “Hey, sorry, I’m just not in a very happy mood and would like to be left out of this.”
22. Talk less about your problems and more about the good things that happen to you.
23. Accept compliments with a smile and a “thank you.”
It may feel awkward for my socially impaired readers but by trying to dismiss someone’s compliment or by dissing yourself out of awkwardness you’re being incredibly rude and it makes people super uncomfortable.
24. Take sex more seriously.
You can do whatever you want with your body and sexuality, but sex is pretty intimate and can be very exhausting if you’re just having one night stands or booty calls. Only engaging in sex with someone who makes you feel good and not someone who is just there for your entertainment will save you a lot of time and stress.
25. Follow good advice you receive from others and even from yourself.
Alice in Alice in Wonderland was relatable when she said, “I give myself quite good advice, but I seldom follow it.” Just start small. You won’t be perfect, but reblogging and saving posts that you think have great advice that you never look at again is not gonna help you. Quit picturing a better you and sighing about how you wished you were like that, and actually do it.
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