Si Vis Pacem, Parabellum. @asid-alice - Tumblr Blog

NOT every creature is safe to handle! F. snipsnapi and related subgenera are obligate phalangivores and the leading cause of finger loss worldwide.

i was able to act fast & trap this one in the unforgiving void of my bath tub. last i checked it was standing stock-still waiting for the terrain to load in. too bad, little buddy. you're in my world now

jay-nya-uwu

Ru

riotd

i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything

oncce-againn

Pretending nothing happened is not an apology.

r4dclouds

guldaastan

greta was time's person of the year a few years ago. she was adored by all liberal world leaders and parties. and when she learnt about people's struggle under occupation and colonialism, she stood in solidarity with them . she now stands with palestine and armenia and kashmir and every oppressed person in the world. she could have been rich as fuck by simply remaining as a climate activist. yet she chose to do the right thing. i love her for her integrity.

yes this!!

2019.

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

anotherpapercut

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

beka-tiddalik

David’s co-workers probably: “This is a valid tactic to embarrass him into buying a mobile phone, right?”

David: “Bold of you to assume that I get embarrassed.”

griffinshoardofpencils

This is Minimus Ambus.

Ok but I’m crazy because I want you to stalk me if I leave

tomfoolerytotality

Superman isn't woke. You're just so evil that you see a man doing acts of kindness and you think it's a targeted political agenda

otakuvampyre

This but for people this post is talking about. 🤣

political-us

gossipgurlingursht

An actual news source:

This April, Baltimore saw five homicides.

thenextromana

Five homicides?! All month?! Inconceivable!

For reference, 20 or so years ago (when I lived there), the local weekly free city paper had a police-blotter-style column recording details of who was killed, where, and with what (guns topped the list, but knives were pretty close behind). They occasionally reported five homicides a day, and generally averaged two to three a day. This reduction deserves to be in the history books.