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@ask-an-enby
welcome to ask an enby!
it's what it says on the tin. whether you're nonbinary yourself or binary and just curious, i'm open to all good-faith questions. questions go in the inbox please, not in the reblogs or replies.
about the mod: they/them, maverique, identified as nonbinary for 7+ years
hi. i'm a disabled enby who needs top surgery but can't work. dysphoria is actively ruining my life & i could use your support.
ways to support me:
donate to my GFM: https://gofund.me/3d2e4ed4e
buy from my shop: https://freakshop-2.creator-spring.com
subscribe to my pod: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/misfitmedia/subscribe
i can also do random little things like digital drawing, mediocre audio/video editing, transcribing, doing some english/german translations.
please share 💜
if you want to make a difference for a nonbinary ace this IAD, please consider donating to or sharing my top surgery fund 💜 https://gofund.me/7d14c4374
https://gofund.me/7d14c437
help a fat multiply disabled enby get top surgery https://gofund.me/b98167e7a
hi, my name is Delta, i'm a nonbinary transgender person fundraising for my top surgery. i have… Delta L needs your support for Help Del
hi!! i've been questioning my gender really recently and have decided to ask for some assistance!
i'm very comfortable with being a woman, but not in an overly femme sense. I only really dress femme to mask in my conservative family. dresses and skirts are nice only sometimes, because otherwise I feel very weird wearing them (which hasn't happened before!)
i was just wondering what questions to ask yourself and what to consider if you're questioning being a demigirl? especially for someone who's unfamiliar with questioning the gender binary
any and all tips/advice are super appreciated!!! tysm <33333
hi!
some questions you could ask yourself: do words like "woman" and "she" describe you fully, or does it feel like something is missing? do you feel drawn towards different labels, pronouns, identities? how does/would it feel if someone called you by non-feminine terms? you said you started feeling weird about wearing skirts and dresses, is this an aesthetic or sensory thing, and/or does it go deeper?
if you have people in your life you can trust, you could ask them to refer to you differently and see how you feel. or you could do that online, maybe introduce yourself as a demigirl and see if that feels good.
you could also google "gender spectrum" and look at images. they are usually very simplified, but if you're a visual person, they might help you figure out where you'd place yourself in relation to womanhood (and/or other genders).
best of luck in your gender journey. 🩷
Okay so I’ve heard people say that the moon is feminine and the sun is masculine but what does that make me and my fellow enbys?
the stars!
for real though, this is part of the galactian alignment system where a male alignment is defined by the sun, a female alignment is defined by the moon and everything else is defined by the stars, infinite options.
LGBTQ+ folk what was your gender/sexuality pipeline?
"female" -> agender/nonbinary/transmasc -> agender/nonbinary/trans -> maverique/nonbinary/trans -> maverique/nonbinary/transandrogynous -> androgyne/genderqueer/trans -> androgyne/xenogender/genderqueer/isogender -> androgyne/xenogender/genderqueer -> maverique/elsegender/trans -> maverique/nonbinary/trans -> maverique/nonbinary/transambiguous
If you use mainly/exclusively gender-neutral pronouns (e.g. they/them), are you okay being referred to by any gendered terms (e.g. boyfriend, wife, daughter, etc)?
I'm fine with most/all gendered terms for myself (e.g. both husband and wife)
I'm fine with one set but not the other (e.g. fine with wife but not husband)
CERTAIN terms but not others (e.g. fine with daughter but not girlfriend)
Other complicated answer
No, I dislike all gendered terms for myself
Not applicable, show results
Anon (they/them) is fine with these terms, but wonders if they're an outlier for that.
Edit: updated with a "no" option!
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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.
i'm okay with gendered terms specific to maveriques or nonbinary people in general, like enby, Mv for a title, mav, maven and to an extent enban.
gendered =/= binary-gendered.
Nonbinary and genderqueer people, has your experience in the queer community been mostly online or in person? Which term do you use to refer to yourself?
Mostly online; nonbinary
Mostly online; genderqueer
Mostly online; I use both interchangeably
Mostly in person; nonbinary
Mostly in person; genderqueer
Mostly in person; I use both interchangeably
I'm not binary but don't use either of these terms for myself
Not applicable, show results
There are many different terms to describe experience outside of the gender binary; this poll is not meant to imply that nonbinary and genderqueer are the only labels.
Anon considers themself nonbinary, while other people they know strictly use the term genderqueer and find the term 'nonbinary' offensive. They're curious whether there's any cultural component.
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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.
my gender journey largely happened online, and for most of it i've identified as nonbinary. sometimes i used genderqueer along with it, other times i exclusively went by genderqueer, but i no longer really go by genderqueer, because it's not synonymous with nonbinary. it can also describe binary trans and gnc cis people so it doesn't feel nearly specific enough for me. only within the last year or so have i started doing offline queer stuff and no one cares if i'm nonbinary (if anything beyond my pronouns even comes up), a lot of the events also have small businesses selling nonbinary merch etc.
Trans people, is being trans in and of itself an important part of your gender identity?
yes, i'd never just call myself a man; i'd always specify 'trans man'*
yeah somewhat, i'd call myself a 'man' and a 'trans man' interchangeably
no, i don't outright identify as a 'trans man,' i'm just a man who is trans
yes, i'd never just call myself a woman; i'd always specify 'trans woman'*
yeah somewhat, i'd call myself a 'woman' and a 'trans woman' interchangeably
no, i don't outright identify as a 'trans woman,' i'm just a woman who is trans
yes, i'm not strictly a man nor a woman so my gender is inherently trans
i'm not binary but wouldn't say my gender is INHERENTLY trans. just sometimes
i'm not binary but no, it's not important
see results
*outside of obvious situations like where your safety is involved
my gender is inherently trans for as long as gender assignment at birth is a thing. no one is assigned nonbinary at birth, especially not maverique, so it's kind of "inherently trans" to be a maverique.
however, i also kind of see transness as something that happened to me via gender assignment at birth - i'm only trans because some doctor randomly guessed my gender when i was born.
my transness and my nonbinarity feel at least partially interchangeable because of the first point. i go through phases of more explicitly stating my transness alongside my nonbinarity and phases where i just say nonbinary. to me, saying i'm nonbinary feels like it implies transness, or at the very least non-cisness, so it can feel redundant, at the same time i want to assert my place in the trans community as a nonbinary person.
at the end of the day, i always consider myself nonbinary first, though.
Genuine question. if you were a character in a piece of media, would YOU be considered good queer rep? no need to elaborate but you can if you wish. (i think i will make a specific poll later about ONLY transness, about only Aspecs, then lesbians gays and bisexuals, cuz i think there are diff standards of hood queer rep for these, but this poll is generalist for the whole LGBT+ community)
Yes
No
I personally see myself as being judged as not good queer rep, as aroace who dates, "feminine" trans, "emotionless" trope, alien/robot/outsider coded, etc.
This poll is because i am often thinking about characters that are considered bad rep, but I know people in real life are LIKE THAT and identity is messy! In my opnion bad queer rep would be the ones that are shown or touched upon on screen. Idk, just wondering.
Edit: lmao i wrote hood isntead of good and tumblr didnt let me edit
probably not. as transgender representation because i haven't "transitioned enough" and there were no super obvious signs of gender variance, let alone dysphoria, before i came out. i use a specific and uncommon label for my gender, i talk a lot about exorsexism, both of which people think is "unrealistic". i'm neurodivergent, which means of course i couldn't possibly know what gender i am. for most of my journey, i was isolated and not surrounded by other queers at all, which apparently is also "unrealistic". in some ways i'm the nonbinary stereotype which people would be mad about. i've been with my partner, a cisgender person who considers themself het with me as the exception, since before i've come out.
Trans people with a deadname: How long did it take for you to consider that name a deadname?
as soon as i decided i wanted to change it
once i told others that i wanted to go by a new name
once i felt like others had gotten used to me insisting on my new name
once people around me were actually using my new name
once i legally changed my name
at some other point/it's complicated
see results
when i socially changed my name i felt like a fraud calling it my deadname because i still had to use it for legal purposes, this was especially true in the early stages where people would call me by that name more often. it never felt like my name, but for a while i just called it my birth name. i only started considering it my deadname when i legally changed it, and even moreso when i moved abroad where every new person i meet doesn't know what i was originally called. the more foreign and distant it feels, the more it dies.
