cigars for sale 2 bucks each

sup im dave and i just so happen to be a guru at life so drop me an ask and ill see what i can do or you can just hit me up for w/e reason i dont really care

[ask-dave-shit]

bunny-cat started following you

ko-monocle started following you

welcome to my candy van

[ask-dave-shit]

butts 1/2

this is a two part series

[ask-dave-shit]

desuguu started following youask-teenmom-rolal started following youwiption started following you

welcome aboard the SS strider

fyi if we hit an iceburg ive got dibs on the lifeboat

except teen mom she can ride with me

[ask-dave-shit]

someone give me drawing prompts im doing comics

[ask-dave-shit]

you know come to think of it i think he killed the little guy　 in order to make a point

[ask-dave-shit]

have you ever had any pets?

i kinda wanted a parrot or a chameleon at one point but other than fantasizing about my escapades with my designated furred or feathered companion i didnt really have pets

well i had a goldfish once because i was like seven or something and bro wanted to teach me what responsibility means so we took the little fucker home and he died the next dayi can even remember exactly what he said to me too'lil man this is what responsibility is:you fucking killed him you ass'i hate fish

[ask-dave-shit]

So is John actually female or what

dont misgender people its uncool anon

[ask-dave-shit]

so how bout dem sweetcred kids

what are we still going on about that shit is that website still even upno wait thats a stupid question duh it is still up because that corp must be making shitnasty amounts of money off of the sheer number of stupid doughfaced kids that are sheltered enough to buy that inappropriately shaped mascots candy

i mean dude subliminal messagingthat guys head is obviously a dick this is how they make moneyby supplanting childrens heads with images of sucking dicks and lollipops simultaneously

i think i just made myself a little sick  

[ask-dave-shit]

what do you mean im supposed to write something official or w/e

ok here:

im dave  i give advice send me shit hope that ive got enough time in my schedule to fit you in i mean  am a busy guy you know are we cool with this 

ok good

[ask-dave-shit]

this is obviously a grade A plan i mean seriously who doesnt want to ask a kid thats probably got less life experience than half of you fuckers out there about deep, meaningful life shit 

i mean i am obviously the fountain of wisdom

lap it up