Lunatics (A Tale of Loki and his Progeny)
Mod (if you can even call me a mod): So I’ve posted some nifty-difty writing down there. Take a look or not, I did it as a way to try something new.
“You are a diseased maggot,” Loki said. “Honestly, your only redeeming quality is that you have your mother’s eyes. Everything else? Putrid. Look at you, you round faced baboon. You’re appaling, a scur to society.”
Thor would’ve been shocked if the following sounds weren’t immensely loud giggles.
“Of course you laugh, little leech,” he heard him say in the other room.
“Do you always speak to your son this way?” Thor asked, turning the corner to living room where Loki was laying. His hair was splayed out beyond his head like ink onto the carpet, Konnur was raised above him at arms length giggling and cooing profusely.
“He thinks it’s hysterical.” Loki seemed unaffected. “And he can’t understand a word I’m saying, he’s an infant.”
“He will one day,” Thor warned.
Loki shrugged, “then I’ll stop, unless this insignificant freak of nature continues to find it amusing? Will you, prat?” The baby laughed like he was telling him the funniest joke in world. “Told you, he loves it. Isn’t that right, satan spawn?”
Konnur only giggled and cooed trying to grasp at his father’s smiling face.
“Whatever pleases you, brother.” Thor said, sighing.
“Whatever pleases him,” he corrected.
Six years later…
“Hmm….now if I were a moronic pariah,” Loki wondered aloud, “where would I hide?” He listened for the sound of giggling which came from the curtains. There he saw pale toes protruding from the fabric and the obvious outline of a small body.
“Hmm...what a difficult question indeed.” He tapped his chin. He pretended to look under the couch where he heard more giggles from behind the curtain. “Well, I don’t see any ingrates under the sofa. Nor was there a rapscallion in pantry. Perhaps behind these curtains your mother treasures so much, I certainly hope not for the very touch of such a monster would ruin them forever.” He heard more giggles, one of Konnur’s hands had raised to cover his mouth this time. “Still, I think I should check,” he mused. Loki crept towards the curtains carefully and yanked them back.
He recognized the glowing, slightly see through form of an illusion. Loki’s mouth dropped slightly in surprise. A proud smirk pulled at his lips, “I’m impressed, little insect.” He looked around a little wondering where his real son might be hiding.
“I’m up here,” he beamed from the top of stairs. “I got you,” he said proudly, he smiled so widely it showed off his pearly white teeth and the two that were missing in the front..
“I see and I’m impressed.”
The look of adoration on the little boy’s face could melt the coldest of hearts, and it did.
Sixteen years later…
“I want you to know, I completely despise you,” Loki gritted, daggers in each of her hands.
She stood back to back with Konnur who opted for pure magic. “Not to sound like mom, but really? Sixteen years later and that’s the first thing you have to say to me?”
Loki grabbed one of the aliens by the arm and quickly slit its throat using its body as a shield. “I thought, I’d keep in fashion, insulting you always made you smile.”
“I was a toddler!” He yelled incredulously.
Loki wasn’t sure if his yelling was out of anger or due to melee. To be perfectly honest, her son’s dramatics were beyond her. That is one thing she cannot be outdone in. “You still smiled.”
“I had no clue what you were saying to me! I was six!” He kicked a gun in her direction when daggers started to seem a little useless and ridiculous. Konnur was determined, no matter how much trouble it got him into to drag this god back to Earth in one piece. “Here!”
Loki rolled her eyes. “I’m assuming you turned out no worse finding out the truth.”
He grunted taking the brunt of a rather large alien’s weight before blasting a hole through its midsection. “Well fuck me with a rusty spoon and call me king of Asgard, you somehow think you have the right to assumptions,” he said mockingly. “You left me alone for sixteen years and we’re currently dick deep in alien innards because of you, you don’t get the right to think anything.”
Loki stared at him strangely for a moment, “perhaps you did turn out for the worst.”
The familiar gust of the quinjet finally arriving broke their discussion apart. Loki felt her son grab the collar of her tunic, she didn’t have enough time to stop him. She was being throttled through the air until she landed on the cold metal grating of the quinjet, her side where she landed stung a little.
Seconds later he floated up in a golden glow of light, she rolled her eyes. He pressed a button on the side of the quinjet causing it to close shut, the impending sand storm and aliens were left behind. He sauntered up to Loki with her stolen haughtiness and wrapped shackles around her wrists. “Ladies, gentlemen and other, I present to you my dick of a father...who is currently my mother,” he grinned. “Please, hold your applause. We’re probably gonna get shot down if we don’t fly out of here in about ten seconds.”
The pilot of the quinjet, a rugged young man with messy blonde hair, rolled his eyes and scoffed before thrusting forward. “I can’t believe we’re stuck in space with two of you fucking lunatics.”