AskDrWarthrop

I am a doctor of natural philosophy. Ask me a question and I may answer it.

[askdrwarthop]

Hullo Dr. How's christmas season treating you ?

I figured I should get Will Henry a new hat, he is outgrowing his new one, however that it what I got him the last time I got him a Christmas present. You know, I think he could use a new pair of tweezers. I’ll get him that.

[askdrwarthop]

smol bean

I do not know what a smol bean is. Is that a new term for lima bean? 

[lazarus-lazuli]

I made some alternative titles for the Monstrumologist books

[askdrwarthop]

Dr. Warthrop, I was so frightened you'd found my other letter. I left it on my little writing desk, though. I must be exhausted to forget something so important. You'd be angry, I think, if you read it. I still...I think I'd very much like to get to know you more. I miss human contact. I know we talk, but we don't /talk/. I'll leave these two on the desk again. You don't come up here. I'll toss them later. You're calling. Will Henry

Will Henry,

You are exceedingly bad at carrying out your promises of destroying these letters. 

I am not angry at you because of what you wrote, because I feel much the same. You, however, had the courage to write it out, regardless if you intentioned for me to see what you had written. I wish I knew how to initiate contact with you, but I am cowardly and weak and have lack the courage to act upon my wishes. I am sorry, Will Henry. I am truly sorry. -

Warthop

[askdrwarthop]

I'm a college student right now, and in my Chemistry lab, I have a horrible partner. She bosses me around, expects me to do all of the work (and then blames that bit on me because whenever she tries to answer one of the questions in the lab, I correct her, because she's always wrong), insults me, and one time, she poured acid on my hands right after I told her that I was nervous to be working with it. Any advice on how to deal with people like her?

Your experience sounds a lot like my experience with John Chanler while I was studying monstrumology, although I considered John to be my best friend, and therefore put up with a lot of things I otherwise would not have. Since you obviously do not consider this person to be a friend, I would suggest that you confront her directly about her behavior, inform her that pouring acid on her partner’s hands is typically an unsafe practice and rather harshly remind her that allowing you to do everything does not benefit her and eventually she will be unable to use you as a crutch.

((maybe tell the proff about it too, I mean pouring acid on your hands is really unsafe))

[askdrwarthop]

Dear Dr. Warthrop, sir; I know I don't really talk to you too much about things like this to you, but, everything in my heart hurts. I miss my parents. I miss Malachi. I just...I want you to hold me. Like a real friend. Love, Will Henry. P.S. I'm going to burn this before you can ever read it.

Will Henry,

I know that I am not the kind of person who expresses his emotions well, but I know what it is like to miss those you have lost. I miss Muriel, I miss John, I miss my parents. It is a fact of life that these feelings will be felt, however I know that it is very painful to bear alone. I do not know how to comfort you, and I am sorry. -

Warthop

ps. You obviously failed to burn your letter, but I am not incompetent, therefore I will burn mine before you are able to read it.

[askdrwarthop]

How old are you?

I am 32 years of age. This is an impressive age to live to if you are a monstrumologist, as most of us die in our late teens or early 20′s.

[lazarus-lazuli]

Idk about you guys but I, personally, am 200% sure this is von Helrung and his wife

[askdrwarthop]

im Han Solo, captain of the millennium falcon

Millennium Falcon is an odd name for a ship, however I have heard odder in my travels. Why have you come, Mr. Solo? If you are not here on business than I suggest that you leave, for I am a busy man. Will Henry will see you out.

[askdrwarthop]

Why are you killing people? People die when they are killed!

I am not killing people, but a certain doctor who goes by Kearns certainly is. Why don’t you ask him?

[ask-monstrumology]

Kearns, did you ever succeed in getting Pell drunk? Is he an angry, sad, or stupid drunk?

Kearns: As embarrassing as it is, I drank with him and got very drunk. So I don’t remember if he got drunk, or even what he was like if he even was.

He’s a smart one.

[strays-quay]

Monstrumologist Ink Drawings including Turn the Century AU college-age Kearns and Pellinore 

[askdrwarthop]

What kind of qualities do you value in a friend?

The ability to work and not become too emotionally attached. They shouldn’t talk too much and should not try to distract me from my work. Essentially, the opposite of Will Henry.

((not stealing his girlfriend would be nice too))

[askdrwarthop]

I think there's a monster under my bed help

What kind of monster? I need specifics, Anonymous. I can’t just go in blind.

[sniperspys]

okay but monstrumologist fandom hear me out for trans boy Will Henry

[askdrwarthop]

(I've always imagined Pellinore as looking a bit like John "Reaper" Grimm from Doom. Karl Urban.)

((like this? I can see it yeah. tbh I think Karl Urban would be good in the role. i mean he did Bones in Star Trek. They’re both grumpy doctors lol.))

[askdrwarthop]

throw that ass in a circle

I have only danced in that manner one time, Anonymous, and I only did it because I was desperate to impress Muriel. John said that I could “really shake that ass”.