This is actually asktalon/runescratch here this time. After last night’s… events… thanks to one of my very wonderful friends (who I love dearly and oh my lord what have you done it’s incredible) it got me to thinking. I never really… said anything before I left?
I had meant to - but part of me wanted to just disappear from the league fandom very quietly - I didn’t want to be begged to stay (as I know some of you would, and some of you have), and I didn’t want to give some the satisfaction of knowing I was gone.
I’ll speak about the second half here in a moment.
First, I wanted to honestly say thank you to everyone who supported me over the three years I was here. It was a wild ride, from start to finish, and I couldn’t be more thankful for this community. All of the people who I hold dear to me right now who stuck with me through thick and thin and became my best friends originated from this community. I’ve learned a lot. Met a lot. Cried a lot.
So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for the support you’ve given me. And I’m really sorry I didn’t properly announce the fall of this blog and instead secretly put it on hiatus. I’ve kinda been hiding in the shadows for a while (hah, haha, funny joke) and am just now realizing it may have been wrong of me to not say anything.
Took a while, but it finally dawned on me.
I no longer draw league and am no longer associated with it, unfortunately - mainly, because after a while, it began to hurt me.
It was an icy knife in my heart that I really couldn’t pull out. I tried, and I tried, but the more I tried, the more alone I felt. It was awful. Allow me to explain.
When I first began this blog, back when things were first starting, I was the first Talon to even exist on tumblr as an askblog. It was three, four years ago, by this point - I honestly can’t remember but POINT IS, people weren’t afraid of me. They talked to me and approached me and even made sure to reply to my posts instead of just reblogging them when I answered them with a short brag in the tags being like “omg asktalon answered me!”
Do you realize how much that honestly hurts, though? It’s a slap in the face. When a blog puts forth effort to answer your question, at least have the decency to put out a few words in response to whatever they did on the actual post. Not just in tags.
I became a trophy before long.
I was “wow asktalon answered me LOL GUYS LOOK LOOK HE DID IT!!”.
That’s all I was to some people. It hurt. It hurt so badly.
I even had one person who sent me an ask, in character, followed by “(shameless self promotion can you please answer this)”.
I was just “that popular Talon blog that might give me free followers if they answer my asks” to some. Not all. But some.
To others, they were jealous. They didn’t want to approach me. They slung foul words at me behind my back, like “ugh I hate their art style so I’m going to announce it to the world and make sure everyone knows I tumblr saviored them too, also don’t use their art for anything because it makes me uncomfortable”, or “lol the talon who ships those weird ships? ewwww yeah they’re awful and weird”, or “they’re scary.”, or “they don’t deserve the popularity they have tbh”.
Etc. Etc. Etc. I could drag it on, and on, and on. Point is, I was being harshly treated by a good portion of the community. For doing. Absolutely. Nothing. But pouring my love and my heart and my soul into my work in hopes that people could enjoy it. In hopes it could inspire others to keep going, and in hopes that I could meet new friends.
It was thrown in my face. By fellow askbloggers. Some of them, even popular ones, who I got word of that were badmouthing me in a skype call to several newcomers. Warning them to stay away from me. Speaking about how supposedly awful of a person I was.
I won’t name names. I really won’t, so please don’t ask. I just wanted to put this out there because I want the questions of “why did you stop?” to… well, stop. I stopped because of this.
I stopped because the hate was eating away at my heart to the point where I was in physical pain. Somedays, I even contemplated stopping drawing entirely. It hurt, so bad.
Not only that, but I was replaced ever-so-secretly on numerous occasions. Which also hurt. Might’ve hurt worse than the namecalling, honestly.
I didn’t want any part of it anymore.
I’m not coming back. I’m so sorry, to those of you that liked this blog, and liked me drawing for Talon. I’m so, so sorry. I hope, however, that you will continue to support me on my artblog, Runescratch, which is where you can find me from now on drawing for other fandoms, as well as working on my original characters that I’ll have for a webcomic later. I’m also on twitter by the same name. (Also, please don’t send me asks about this blog to my artblog. Please.)
Heck, if you even wanted to, you could support me on Patreon and help me out financially?
But my shameless self plugging aside (is it shameless if it’s on your own blog? eh.) I really, really, love you guys that took the time to send me messages over the years. It was fun. It was a blast. My art and writing improved SO much because of this blog. And now I’m being recognized by bigger names in the world because of that. You guys helped me to get here.
I can’t thank you enough.
To others who were afraid to talk to me, or who might be afraid to talk to other people:
Don’t be. Seriously, don’t be. This whole “wow they’re a popular artist… i’m scared of them” stuff has to stop. We’re people. With flesh, and blood, just like you. We’ve spent years training and working our hands and brains to be able to draw the way we do. To write the way we do.
Approach that popular blog you want to talk to. Not on anonymous. As yourself. Talk to them, you never know what may happen.
And hey, if they’re a jerk?
Punch them in the throat for being a jerk. You’re worth more than that and shouldn’t take that from them. You got this and I believe in you.
Also, word of advice: Don’t believe someone you’ve just met. Don’t form an opinion based on what they say. Form an opinion after you meet the person yourself. Make your own opinions, because the person who spreads the vile from their mouth and makes someone else seem bad, might be the snake that causes the problems in the first place.
Thank you for reading all of this if you did, I know it’s a mouthful and I didn’t put it under a read more.
See ya, hopefully I’ll still see some of you on my other blogs!
-Asktalon mun