(You Can't Go To Hell If You're Already There!!)

(Ask and RP blog. Contains torture, child abuse, and disturbing themes & will be tagged accordingly; please alert if anything has been missed)

[asklittlebuddies]

Callosum, buddy, a mouth is no place for a book. If we turn our backs to you and get really busy all of a sudden, would you stash it somewhere else please?

Three Anons said:                                                                

> its okay!! we won't tell anyone you've been reading

> You don't have to tell us if you don't want to, we just want to know how are you doing!

> 🙈 we didn't see anything

Callosum turns their head away and begins staring resolutely at the opposite wall. They definitely are still 100% paying attention to you despite trying to pretend otherwise.

[asklittlebuddies]

Callosum, buddy, a mouth is no place for a book. If we turn our backs to you and get really busy all of a sudden, would you stash it somewhere else please?

Three Anons said:                                                                

> its okay!! we won't tell anyone you've been reading

> You don't have to tell us if you don't want to, we just want to know how are you doing!

> 🙈 we didn't see anything

Callosum turns their head away and begins staring resolutely at the opposite wall. They definitely are still 100% paying attention to you despite trying to pretend otherwise.

[asklittlebuddies]

(Did... Did they just shove a book in their mouth?)

Hello Callosum, what were you reading? Is it interesting?

[Anonymous asks: Hey, where’d you get that book? Anonymous asks: Oh!! What are you reading? End.]

[Image: A gif of cal looking back and forth with their top eyes while their bottom eyes are dead. They suddenly have puffy cheeks. End.]

What is a ‘book’? What is ‘reading?’ they have NEVER heard these words before in their LIVES.

[asklittlebuddies]

Can we go see how Callosum is doing?

[Somehow you got down here at a time when no one else is around! But if you’re not careful, someone will definitely notice the racket!]

[asklittlebuddies]

name them taog. get it its goat backwards

We are no longer accepting naming suggestions at this time. Thank you.

Speak to someone else?

Yes | No

[asklittlebuddies]

(we had a cat emergency and it's all fine but updates will be slow because I am not allowed to go upstairs and if I move my comp downstairs that might still take a bit)

[asklittlebuddies]

Congratulations!! Have you started thinking of names for the kid?

[image: toriel looks pensive]

Well, as I said, we only just recently found out... do you have suggestions?

[asklittlebuddies]

Wow it's been awhile since we were here last. Hows everyone doing?

[image: anonymous asked, “Uh oh, it seems we have messed up again :'D We really didn't mean to cause trouble, I guess we just don't really?? Think things through??? Is Callosum going to be alright? Can they get an upset stomach (?) from eating too fast? I hope we didn't upset the two of you too much :( “ End desc. ]

[image: Toriel smacking her hands together in recognition. She says “Oho! You are those pranksters who snuck food into the dungeon a while ago! Well, it’s all been cleaned up, but hopefully everyone’s learned an important lesson.” End.]

It took a whole day to calm them afterwards. We’ve adjusted the feeding schedule so their reaction is a little toned down, but food puts them into a frenzied state that not even Sans can control. I understand the urge to feed something hungry, but they are genuinely a bottomless pit.

Otherwise... things have been quite pleasant! It’s turning into a lovely spring.

[asklittlebuddies]

congrats toriel!! how much longer until we can expect the new addition?

[answer: Toriel in front of the Angel rune, looking flustered but pleased. She says “Oh goodness! It will be a while yet; we just found out last week!”]

[asklittlebuddies]

Days Since You Were Kicked Out Of the Dungeon (Again) - 1095.

Recap:

The monsters won the war against humans, but barely, and only with the help of Dr. Gaster, who experimented with monster’s bodies to create soldiers who could fight long past their limits. He is a greatly hated figure even years after his disappearance.

Papyrus is a Royal Guard and his brother Sans is caretaker to the beast in the dungeon.

The beast is called ‘Callosum’ and was supposedly made when former Royal Scientist Dr. Gaster fused his soul with an anonymous prisoner’s soul and immediately killed then-King Andorfus, Asgore’s father, and fled.

Sans and Papyrus came to the castle as children shortly after the beast’s capture, and have some relationship with either the Doctor or someone (implied to be Grillby) who knew the Doctor or Callosum.

Undyne is shirtless.

Things that have changed while you’ve been gone:

Callosum’s feeding schedule has changed to once-a-week, rather than once-a-month.

Huzzah! The queen is pregernant!

Vulkin has readjusted her stance on weed. Just not with Burgerpants.

[screamting]

there are….. several best boys but right now Cal is on the top of the list. They’ve gotten a little bit of a redesign but it’s been like…. three years so nmb.

We realized last night that with so many arms they might be more comfortable laying on their back like a cat when sleeping. So they get. To sleep on some hay. It’s theirs now.

If you want to find out more about Cal we’re going to reopen the blog. And see what happens I guess. aaa

[asklittlebuddies]

some cal from livestream today due to the blog reopening.

[asklittlebuddies]

I just remembered Callosum and this blog, and with how much anticipation I waited for the updates!!!! I still have notifications turned on for this blog XD

Honestly, I just wanted to thank you for the good times you shared with us with this project of yours :D

So, thank you!!

You actually have the most wild timing because we were talking about this last night. I’ve been telling myself I would start teh blog back up once I had finished my other shit but uhhhh. That still hasn’t happened so

[asklittlebuddies]

What should we do? Take the food, give them the food? Give us something to work with here, Sans!

*if you get anywhere near the bars with food, Cal lashes out and nearly takes off your hands to get to the bag. Their arms reach through the bars desperately, and their head bobs and weaves, as if they can’t quite see it, but they can smell it.

*Sans rips the bag from you and drags it to an area of the bars that are shaped differently, and which lead to a feeding trough. This time, he can’t bother with the trough, though.

*He opens the cage and flings the bag in as far as he can with telekinesis.

*Callosum rips the bag to shreds in seconds, chewing through containers and trash alike to devour everything in sight.

[asklittlebuddies]

What should we do? Take the food, give them the food? Give us something to work with here, Sans!

*if you get anywhere near the bars with food, Cal lashes out and nearly takes off your hands to get to the bag. Their arms reach through the bars desperately, and their head bobs and weaves, as if they can’t quite see it, but they can smell it.

*Sans rips the bag from you and drags it to an area of the bars that are shaped differently, and which lead to a feeding trough. This time, he can’t bother with the trough, though.

*He opens the cage and flings the bag in as far as he can with telekinesis.

*Callosum rips the bag to shreds in seconds, chewing through containers and trash alike to devour everything in sight.

[asklittlebuddies]

Guys, I think we messed up

that’s callosum trying to break down the bars because they w e r e n ’ t   w a r n e d .

[asklittlebuddies]

(I am so very sorry about that boneless pizza ask. I just couldn't help it. I hope you're not too upset and I apologize in advance if I caused a chain reaction)

((omg anon, no, you’re fine! If I didn’t want to answer it I could have just deleted it, rest assured! And as you see I have not in fact blocked you! It is just burgerpants has metaphysical trauma related to the foodservice industry. You are participating in a blog about participation, u did nothing wrong

….unless you do in fact like boneless pizza, in which case, as someone with the firm belief crusts must be the best part or your pizza is wrong, dishonor on you. dishonor on your cow, and dishonor on all the cheese your cow has produced for all your heathen pizza))

[asklittlebuddies]

((I just realized maybe you sent this in because I posted the delete blog joke and haven't posted since

No anon, it is not your fault, it is that I am studying abroad in a foreign country and my Friday and Sunday have both been taken from me, and I drowned my sadness by playing Botw for eight hours yesterday instead of working on homework. Do not worry. I try to update at least one ask ever two days but this weekend is Whack. ))

[asklittlebuddies]

(I am so very sorry about that boneless pizza ask. I just couldn't help it. I hope you're not too upset and I apologize in advance if I caused a chain reaction)

((omg anon, no, you’re fine! If I didn’t want to answer it I could have just deleted it, rest assured! And as you see I have not in fact blocked you! It is just burgerpants has metaphysical trauma related to the foodservice industry. You are participating in a blog about participation, u did nothing wrong

....unless you do in fact like boneless pizza, in which case, as someone with the firm belief crusts must be the best part or your pizza is wrong, dishonor on you. dishonor on your cow, and dishonor on all the cheese your cow has produced for all your heathen pizza))