Thank you so much for the previous answer! Very thorough. I have another question for my story, though I hope I'm not overwhelming your ask box with questions. What's the Colombian philosophy on raising kids you would say?
I know Latinos are all diverse and have different methods of raising their kids from region to region and family to family, but just what you would say the general consensus is. Like for example, as a native my father always told me that Lakotas used to have a more liberal method of raising kids, that it was believed to be a parents duty to create a safe space for a child to explore their creativity and have fun, with low punishment for transgressions due to children not knowing better, but that after the boarding schools the culture shifted to being more discipline oriented than before, not to say kids didn't have some discipline back then, but way more harsh than it was before.
In that sense, would you say most Colombians, even from your region, are more discipline oriented or want to give a space for children to be free and learn on their own. I ask to try and break away from the stereotype of the controlling matriarch we often see in media about the region, and have a more nuanced understanding.
This is a great question! And don’t worry about saturating, it’s barely question two. I’ve been around the block with all kinds of regions. First I’m gonna talk about the history of some (off the top of my head, sources will be for more modern stuff.)
Spanish law around men basically meant you had to keep track of your kids for business reasons even if you didn’t want to include them in the will or even pay for their essence. Spanish law around women allowed them to hold and inherit land almost to the same level as a man, which is why Colombian men to this day look weird when they don’t acknowledge their kids and why women owning businesses or land in lieu of their husbands doesn’t look too off.
Indigenous people obviously have different concepts of family to most in Colombia. Most societies pre colonization were matriarchal, and many still follow lineage and tribal inclusion that way. The Wayuu are masculine led polygamous. The Embera are femenine led polygamous. The Muysca were masculine led polygamous with a woman having strong say in who she took for a husband.
Black families were unfortunately not independent in raising their kids due to the transatlantic slave trade, but within Black communities (palenques, in Colombian terminology) there’s a huge tracking of fatherhood and motherhood, as well as an attachment to the mother, as a consequence of the systematic separation between parent and child used as punishment. Since white owners often refused to acknowledge their “promise of freedom” to the enslaved women they forced themselves on, Black fathers tracking whose baby was theirs became a matter of pride, and Black women were expected to be okay with a large collection of kids that might belong to their sister or friend or a newcomer.
Spanish comments on Black and indigenous people are similar to the other white critiques around the age of colonization around the world, with the unique Spanish distinction that these white people were also slightly collectivist, AND the Colombian distinction of having the limited ability to buy your way into equality. The Colombian revolutionary period focused not on taxation like the United States but on the Spanish landowning hierarchy, so the criollos (white and mixed new world citizens of Spain) said “We’re all in this together” and asked for the other populations to gripe together before they went back to infighting for the next 200 years. Spanish comments wondered, essentially, why these non whites are so damn successful at Having Baby and Raising Baby of the baby is not being raised white.
In my experience, the coast is still seen as very liberal with a dependence on auntie and uncle culture. The more you get into the coastal countryside, the more people are inclined to hand you over to non-blood family for correction or instruction. Since your character is urban there’s a high probability you’ll run into the intersectional Black and Jewish “don’t correct my child for me” sentiment.
However, in general, families are pretty strict…in a fun way. It’s hard to explain, but basically the internal rules of the family are to be valued at all times because it’s supposed to bloom you into a better person, a collective investment of those who love you. The concept of letting a child make their own path without crediting their family seen as Americanized in many parts of Colombia, and I’m inclined to agree that even if your bio family isn’t by your side it’s important to acknowledge how you got your where you are. I can’t fathom crediting success to only yourself.
Current family laws for resources! Again, these are all in Spanish and all Colombian focused.
Here’s Childhood Villages. You can see reflected in the very first sentence that laws are extended to favor the entire family, not just parents.
The history of the Black comadre is really important and I have some sources. Comadre and compadre literally mean co mother and co father. It’s carried across Latino culture, but in Colombia I’ve seen it used more among Black people yo basically say “if something happens to you I will parent your child, and in life I am your child’s family.” I won’t say who because they’re really dear to me but I do have physical comadres without whom I wouldn’t be here.
This essay is by The Commission of Truth on a modern Black parent and family event.
This is a segment from El Espectador (the Spectator), a Colombian news source. They have a spotlight called Peace and Memory around cultural events, and this article is about the history of Black women as parents, with an organization by Black Colombian women whose initials spell and sound like Comadre. La Comadre: A story of resistance in Black women who were victims of conflict
Here’s another article about the same group with more statistical coverage: Infobae
Here’s a podcast from an American trying to teach Americans Colombian Spanish, with special focus on how he views Colombian parents! His partner is white Colombian, and there is a transcript available. Españolistos
In pop culture, I have yet to see enough rep outside of Gloria from Modern Family and Encanto, and I’ve definitely never seen a popular perspective on specifically Afro Colombian parenting.
