Ask Winterhawk

Clint and Bucky here! You can ask us whatever questions you have. We may not be able to help you with your homework, but we can help you procrastinate, and that's just as effective, right? Steve might say otherwise, but he's not running this blog. "Steve can kiss my ass." -B "He probably won't, but I will." -C

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Have you ever tried to take care of a smol baby?

Yes, and disaster might be an understatement. Bucky at least had some idea what he was doing, but the minute the baby touched my arms, all hell broke loose. The kid had a blow out, one nasty enough it might have killed a small community. Then she decided to crawl around with a poopy butt, despite my best efforts to try and keep her on the changing mat. And don’t even get me started on nap time. We got the diaper cleaned up and Bucky got her a bottle, handing it over to me. She vomited everywhere, and screamed when we put her down in the crib thing. So we had a child screaming in a crib and an apartment that smelled like someone died because of the amount of poop and vomit everywhere. Babies are not easy. Don’t let anyone convince you that they are. The poop, the mess, the screaming. The only good that came out of it was watching Bucky make cute faces and talk to her in that voice everyone seems to use when they’re talking to babies. -C

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Howdy folks, sorry we haven't gotten around to some of your questions yet. We will be working on them soon, there have just been many important missions to attend and sex that isn't being had because of it. -C.

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My dog understands what certain words mean, like walk, sit, no, love, and his name. Does Lucky know what some words mean in sign language?

Lucky knows most basic commands in sign language. He cocks his head a lot, and sometimes I can’t tell if it’s because he can understand or not.

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Ah yes, my favorite kind of bird -C

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Sorry to bother again but Clint, how do you feel about Stucky?

About like this  

Whereas Bucky and I are more like

And Lucky and I are like this 

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Do either of you have any cool secret talents that no one knows about? Like party tricks and stuff?

B: I can make a pencil disappear from the table like the clown did in the movie? Does that count? Oh and I can hear things like a mutant when I focus on them. C: I somehow manage to accidentally hurt myself in any given situation.

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Hey Clint can you assassinate my lab teacher so I don't have to take my anatomy lab final? I do not know the penis or vagina at all.(or sperm pathway, or renal pathway, or hepatic portal system, or abdominal vessels.)

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Does Lucky like being tickled by your metal arm?

Let’s tangle your hair in my metal knuckles and see if you’d like it. The dog HATES it. Literally. He runs away if my arm is exposed. -B

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Hey Clint, do you ever French braid Bucky's hair?

I try to sometimes, but it has to be when he’s sleeping. It’s like trying to do his make up. He doesn’t like it. So I’ll put it up in a bun for him instead.

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What's the best gift you've gotten from the other person?

B: That paintball trip Clint got for something. We got to shoot real people. With real riffles. They weren’t even people. The doomsday we had last week was pretty good. C: one year for my birthday Bucky got me an exact replica of his dick as a dildo. It’s pretty great.

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What do you think of Jeremy Renner and Sebastian Stan?

B: They’re so clumsy and reckless. They would’ve died in seconds on a field… But physically? They’re fine.C: HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ASS ON RENNER? I MEAN HELLO. B: yes, I have. Have you seen your abs? Now shut up. We are not having sex with them. C: Aww, buzzkill.

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Bucky, how did you find out that Clint was super flexible?

One day he was stretching, one day he was bending over reverse and sucking my dick for a bet… -B

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Just another morning in Bed-Stuy.

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Basically the morning routine. -C

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Is there a song like: when you hear it you must think about your relationship? Which one would it be?

C: S&M by Rhianna

B: Talk Dirty to Me.. wait, no, Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You by the Four Seasons. 

C: Aw, now I have to pick a cute one. Uhm, Wake Me Up by Ed Sheeran, yeah, because even though I hate it when you wake me up, I’m totally in love with you when you wake me up. 

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This is the most Winterhawk post I have ever seen

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My name is Clint Barton and I approve this post.

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Who usually wakes up first, and who is the first to fall asleep?

B: I wake up first, for my work out. Then come back, wake him up and try to get his sorry ass out of the bed for half an hour. And he’s the one who falls asleep first, but if it’s been a rough day/days, I have no idea who sleeps first. C: I just really like my sleep. Sleep is good. Sleep is healthy. B: Sleep gets you killed. C: it’s not like I’m sleeping on the job! B: shut up.

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Do you take care of each other when one of you is sick?

B: One of you? You mean, Clint, right? Yeah, I do. Who else is gonna make veggie smoothies and force him to eat healthy even though it’s for a few days? And I don’t enjoy it. Mostly. C: You do too. It keeps me out of trouble and leaves you someone to snuggle with. So shush.