Went to dragon con! I was making a Hermaeus Mora cosplay that I wasn't able to finish due to being down for two weeks w/ COVID before the con but that's ok I wore princess bubblegum and got to see MBMBaM so it was sooooo chill
(Herma Mo will be finished one day but I fear it's a completely restart project due to I built the OG in the least efficient way)
Uhhh what else
Job is crazy, family life is crazy, been dealing with some crazy issues on both of those fronts since August. That will prob calm down soon, we'll see. I high key want a new job at this point tho.
Still binge watching SVU and I'm in my binge playing binding of Isaac era rn. Just beat Isaac w/ Blue Baby a couple days ago so it's about to get super real. Cain is my favorite to play though which I was told made me clinically insane but idc
On a 120ish day streak of playing all the NYT games and my brain is appreciated
we need personally tailored hormone cocktails. if u want estrogen curves a non functional dick and a flat chest u should be able to get that. if u want huge tits hard cock huge loads we should promote that. when i’m president we’ll kill all real estate agents in the street like dogs.
Just saw an ad for fucking Kellog's cornflakes wherein a shirtless blindfolded man tied to a bed is like "Wait.. are you... eating??" and it pans across the bed to reveal that his partner is, indeed, too distracted to have sex with him bc she is chowing down on corn flakes. Now I've been caught up in wondering whether:
a) John Harvey Kellog would despise this ad; the mere proximity of bondage-play to his brand name and beloved anti-porn flakes is unforgivable
b) John Harvey Kellog would enjoy this ad, because it shows a young woman forsaking the temptations of the flesh in favour of eating a wholesome and nourishing bowl of cornflakes
Cast your vote
A - that crunchy old man is rolling in his grave
B - it's literally demonstrating the flakes' intended purpose
C - what in the goddamn hell are you people talking about
"Are you sure you want to post this without tags?" What, pray tell, tumblr, would I add to this post to help it reach its 'intended audience.' #cornflakes #bondage
Mini life update ig ft. photo evidence I am living the dream
I got promoted at work in December. I've been working as the assistant Consumer Protection/Internal Auditor and assistant BSA/AML/CFT Analyst. My two bosses and I also make up the fraud department. I was so scared in college when I started to work in banking because I understand how predatory lending and banking in general can get, but being in a position now where I am responsible for making sure banking is FAIR is like. So great for me.
February, I broke up w my gf of two years and she moved out from south GA to Kansas City. It was a planned breakup - we moved to a bigger apartment and my two best friends moved in with me. Same day my ex moved out, I got officially and formally diagnosed with PTSD and MDD. Got put on 3 new psychiatric meds. Was kinda pissed ab having to take Zoloft but it's actually like done its job super well so I'm feeling super great.
The magical combo of a functional brain chemistry, living with my two besties, being out of a relationship I now see wasn't good for me (even tho everyone around me was trying to tell me she was using me I straight up had the blinders on), and working a job I'm actually passionate about has just done wonders for me. I'm able to enjoy life and not have the anxiety cloud around me at all times. My friends and I have never been closer, I've never been more social, and I'm realizing that maybe I'm not so much of an introvert after all.
On March 29th, my roommate June and I began a relationship. Apparently we had both liked each other for a while. I didn't ever say anything bc 1- she's not poly so even tho my ex and I were open, it would've been a no-go; 2- she can be a little difficult to read so I couldn't gauge her interest; and 3- after the breakup I didn't want her to think I'm just clinically incapable of being single or think that I was rebounding. She made the first move. She said she loved me on the third night (we've known each other for 4 years, it's not too soon lol). She's so wonderful.
Backtrack to December, my big Christmas present was getting two tickets to see Les Miserables live in Jacksonville. I decided of course my mom HAD to go with me. We counted down the days til show day. FINALLY, April 6th rolled around, and I got to see Les Miz US for the second time! My roommate Riley helped me pick out my outfit.
Funny story about that - I bought a dress for a witch costume in October that didn't come in on time for my witch event. It was a 50s flared gothic type dress that was a black slip underneath black mesh with embroidered flowers, cute little belt, and a bow collar. When I got the Les Mis tickets, I KNEW I had to wear this dress. I tried it on the night before the show, and wouldn't you know- it was too tight in the arms. I cried. Riley offered to help me pick out a new outfit, and I am SO glad he did because WOW. He styled me up GOOD. Then my mom called me before I was supposed to pick her up and she said that her dress didn't work. I said OH I HAVE ONE!! So she wore my dress! I'm glad it got to see Les Mis too in the end.
The show was beautiful of course as always. I had such a great time. I'm so thankful for this life I get to live now.
I'm in a mood tonight so if anyone who i have ever known see this, let's read further. This is truly so stream of conscious. It's just a general life update.
CW: drug use, mental health themes, emotional?? idk it was to me, SA
My friends on this site, I know we've been out of contact for years. I have been in a season of life where I am extremely sentimental. I look back on my friends I made here/friends I have IRL that also followed me here, and it makes my heart swell.
I was going through some severe mental issues when I was on Tumblr regularly. I've since pinned it down to "being a chronically online, easily influence teenager". There were a lot of things either glorified, justified, and normalized on Tumblr that messed up my nerf ball brain. I was not a great friend because of it. I realize in hindsight as an adult whose brain is less nerf-bally that the lot of you who cared about me must have really cared about me to stick with me through that shit show. This is my formal apology in the least direct or awkward way for my behavior. Know that I love you all and pray your lives are full of home cooked meals and laughter and peaceful Sunday mornings.
Since my PTSD diagnosis I have done a lot of making sense of old memories. My life from age 13 through age 17 is such a blur. My girlfriend doesn't know what to say when I bring it up. You all would love my girlfriend, by the way. We live together now. She's the light of my life. She makes things worth remembering again.
I finally stopped acting like a doormat. My constant need for validation that I experienced in my youth has become a mildly nihilistic disposition. But like, the cool nihilism, where nothing matters so everything is super chill. I realized it doesn't matter if I don't like someone or someone doesn't like me, we all have different preferences and needs and all. I dunno. It's kind of nice to be free of clingy baby hell. I'm attributing that to the PTSD diagnosis as well.
I got into weed. This is not a surprise to anyone who have ever had a conversation with me, I'm sure. I started smoking to take the nightmares away. Then it became just a normal part of my day. I don't abuse it though. I just find that it helps keep my head quiet.
I got in a lot of fights along the way. It's kind of funny. This last fight was really my tipping point into my "go-with-the-flow" phase. Given it was the third (or possibly even fourth? PTSD makes it difficult to care about keeping track) I was sexually assaulted, I just had to make a decision then and there I was done caring. It also reinforced my belief that people who go through hard stuff have a flashing sign over their heads that tell other predators this isn't their first rodeo. At least it felt that way to me. I digress. This person was my best friend, allegedly, and it just blew up on me.
Anyways. All that negative aside I have been doing better than I ever have. My mental health is taken care of. I stimulate my brain and challenge myself with my three jobs, LOL. It keeps e out of trouble. I am with the most darling woman I've ever met. She saved me. My two cats are my prides and joys. I'm in a longplay of the Sims 4 right now.
I sign off on this post by requesting:
If you knew me and took the time to read this, I care for you always. Thank you for helping me get to where I am now, getting me through the hardest years of my life when I was also constantly using this site, and teaching me so much about true friendship. You guys rule.
I think one of the kindest things you can do for people with various mental health struggles is just... let people back into your life after they've been absent for a while.
Making friends as an adult is so fucking hard already and isolating yourself from other people is a very common symptom of depression, anxiety, burnout, ocd, trauma, grief, etc. Which means that someone will do the hard work of recovery/healing and resurface back into a world where their previous friends have written them off because they stopped showing up.
So if you know someone where you're like "yeah we could have been better friends but they fell off the map a bit" and that person suddenly reaches out, or starts showing up to events even though you kind of forgot they were still in the group chat... well they may have been Going Through It and you don't actually have to punish them for their absence you can just be glad that they're back.
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