IT’S FINISHED!! I’m gonna be so real with you, I almost didn’t. After the file was partially corrupted and I lost HALF of the work I originally did, I almost gave up. BUT I DIDN’T! I white knuckled my way through it and made something I’m pretty damn proud of! That being said, I’d love to know what you think, and if there is anything I can improve on.
Also if you’re wondering why some of them are looking off at weird angles it’s because I have them paired off for the close ups which will be under the cut!
Also if you want to read some short notes I have for each of them click on the alt text!
So I remember reading about this study in grad school where they have a bunch of clinically depressed people and a bunch of non-clinically-depressed people a game that was partially chance and partially skill, and asked them to estimate how much control they had over the outcome.
The depressed people were far more accurate in estimating how much influence their actions had on the outcome of the game compared to their nondepressed counterparts, who consistently overestimated the effects of their own choices on their chances of winning.
Then I remember this other study (CW animal testing) where they put rats in a bucket of water that they couldn’t get out of, so they’d have to swim. There was a fairly consistent point at which the swimming rat would falter, and stop swimming, fated to drown.
Except that that’s when the researchers would pull the rat out of the bucket, give it a nice rest warmth and a meal.
When those SAME rats who had been rescued before were put in the same situation again, they swam much LONGER than they had before.
Why? The risk was the same either way- drowning. You’d have thought that the fear of drowning would keep them swimming to their maximum length no matter what.
The researchers conclusion was that the rescued rats had something they hadn’t had the first time- they had more hope. A miraculous rescue could come, and that let them swim for longer, just in case.
I think we do microdose delusion because sometimes that little overestimation of our chances, of our luck, keeps us swimming that little bit longer, just in case something good happens. And sometimes, that little margin really does make the difference.
“All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."
REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
"So we can believe the big ones?"
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
"They're not the same at all!"
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST TO EVER DO IT, BRUCE CAMPBELL!
this piece was inspired by my thinking a few months ago "hmm, i've drawn enough portraits of bruce, what would he REALLY want as a birthday gift?" and then of course, subsequently watching a ton of the three stooges and his friend group's super 8 films. "the blind waiter" was actually the first film of his that i watched outside of the evil dead series, which was my formal introduction. i was instantly captivated, and wanted to know everything there was to know about him. years later, i don't see that stopping anytime soon.
bruce is genuinely one of the funniest, most inspiring people i have ever witnessed — and ever met! my gratitude and reverence for him is indescribable, and i am so blessed to always have his work on hand and his presence in my memories. there is no one else like him in this world, in all his living cartoon glory! however, he would fit well among the stooges, and i'm sure he'd be pleased to. i am a massive fan of them as well, and have been so excited to finally try drawing them. this won't be the last time, you can count on that. keep shemping, bruce — watch out for errant pies today!
some close-ups for good measure. while i was drawing this, i was alerted that i was sitting smiling blissfully, front and center in the photo from his birthday post. took me awhile to calm down so i could finish a steady line again!!!
TRIGGER WARNING!! For use of the R-slur. Only one and not exactly in relation to a person, but still. It's part of a line from the original episode.
Summary: “Captain’s Log, Stardate: 43657.0:
While Commander Riker is away on personal leave the Enterprise has traveled to sector 396 to begin charting the Salebi Asteroid Belt…
Captain’s Log Supplemental: I have just been advised of a highly unusual project undertaken by Commander Data and Ensign Q.”
It was very unlike Data to be so secretive, but lately the Enterprise crew hadn’t caught sight of him. Ever since Data returned from the cybernetics conference, he’d been making himself scarce outside of normal working hours. Hiding himself away in one of the many labs on board the ship. He’d spent countless hours toiling away. On what? No one could say.
No one, except for Q.
Q had been the only person on the Enterprise with whom Data had trusted… whatever it was he had so preciously guarded in that lab. Many had speculated, a few even asked, but of course Q would never tell. He sure could keep his mouth shut when he wanted to. At least he could if he thought it would be entertaining.
Data, after having holed himself up in the lab for who knows how long at this point, had finally reached out to his friends and invited them to take a ‘peek behind the curtain’ on his new project. So Geordi and Wesley met up with Deanna as they left Engineering to see what the android was hiding. Wesley, eager as ever, rang the doorbuzzer and waited with the rest of them with bated breath.
“Oh, you are early.” Data said, perking up as the door slid open. He spared a glance at Q who gave the group a little half-hearted wave. Data held up a finger, “One moment please…” and as Q typed in a command on the console, the door shut once again.
“Are you sure you wanna show them now, Data? You haven’t quite finished it yet…” Q asked as he lackadaisically checked, and rechecked the schematics on the console in front of him.
Data nodded. He took what looked almost like a severed human foot and connected it to what appeared to be an almost human looking leg, locking it in place. “Yes, Q. I am sure.” With final touches taken care of, Data gave Q the go-ahead to reopen the door. “You may enter now.”
The three of them wasted no time in stepping through the door once it had opened. The lights had been drawn low and the only thing in the lab besides them was a large metal apparatus with its platform raised up and out of sight. “Come on Data, what is this?” Geordi asked, curious but slightly perturbed.
Geordi was Data’s best friend and the thought of Data knowingly hiding something from him had been setting off alarm bells in his head for a while now. Knowing he had trusted Q of all people instead certainly didn’t help.
Data stood statuesque with Q at his side. His face was as blank as ever and his posture seemingly rigid. His friends, however, could all tell that this was something deeply important to him. Whatever this was. “I have invited you here to meet someone.” Data lowered the platform, (that Q could only assume was for dramatic effect,) as they all set their sights upon the…sort of humanoid figure standing before them. “This is Lal…”
~
Picard was baffled to say the least, upon hearing the news for Data’s new… child, as he called it. To say the most, Picard was furious and he was growing evermore irritated with every word. Data, rather oblivious of this fact, gave every detail on the creation of his new child… “Lal has a positronic brain, one similar to my own. I began programming it at the cybernetics conference.” His posture was straight and open, and while his neutral expression never wavered, he seemed to beam with the closest thing to pride he was capable of.
It was a feat that nobody had ever been able to do. At least not since Data himself was programmed, but new sub-micron matrix-transfer technology was introduced at that conference, that could be used to lay down complex neural net pathways. So In essence, Data was able to transfer his brain into Lal’s.
Data watched as Captain Picard examined his new child. He circled the platform like a starving vulture, his stride heavy and his posture hunched and rigid. His hands were clenched just as tightly as his jaw as he spoke in a deep hush, “Data…” He commanded, delicately trying to keep his personal feelings from slipping into his tone, “—I would like to have been consulted.” Picard was seething. Although he couldn't properly articulate why.
Data hummed in thought, letting his memory files flash across his vision. “I have not observed anyone else on board consulting you about their procreation, Captain.”
Q snickered at Data’s obliviously genuine answer, although no one else was in any mood to appreciate the humor in it. “Why didn't you give it a more human look, Data?” Deanna implored trying to redirect the conversation back to Data’s creation.
“I have decided to allow my child to choose its own sex and appearance."
Picard was having none of it and frankly he was done with the present situation all together. “Commander Data, at your convenience I would like to talk with you in my ready room.” He commanded, as he turned to leave. Q Patted Data’s arm in a halfhearted attempt at sympathy. “You too, Ensign.” Picard blatantly ignored Q’s positively affronted look as he made his way out of the room. He gave a quick order for Troi to follow.
Deanna spared Data a sympathetic look before following in her captain’s stride. She caught up to him fairly quickly despite his gait. Picard was fully allowing his anger to fuel his actions now, and he couldn’t be bothered to hide it. He couldn't hide anything from Deanna anyway. “I insist we do whatever we can to discourage the perception of this new android as a child. It is not a child! —It is an invention, albeit an extraordinary one.”
Deanna weighed her response carefully before she spoke. “Why should biology rather than technology determine whether it’s a child?” She began. “Data has created an offspring…a new life out of his own being. To me, that suggests a child. If he wishes to call Lal his child then who are we to argue?”
She was right of course. She was right and he knew it, and somehow that made it even worse. He let some of his residual anger fizzle away as he relented to her rationale. “Well if he must, but I fail to understand how a five-foot android with heuristic learning systems and the strength of ten men can be called a child.” He half-argued back with whatever was left of his simmering irritation.
Deanna side-eyed him with a mischievous smile, “You’ve never been a parent.” She teased, her playful rib almost going right over the captain’s head.
Almost…
~
Data and Q sat quietly as Captain Picard took a moment to wrack his brain for an appropriate way to start. The looks on their faces was doing nothing to help him whatsoever. Unsurprisingly, Data sat ramrod straight with the same neutral expression. Still not quite understanding what it was he had done wrong. Q’s face, on the other hand, said he knew exactly what they had done. And he was relishing in watching the captain squirm.
That look alone was enough to make Picard’s blood boil. So he tactfully decided to solely focus on Data instead. He could deal with Q later. “What you have done will have serious ramifications. I am truly dismayed that you told no one of what you were doing.”
The android wore puzzlement on his golden face as he locked eyes with his captain. “I am sorry, Captain. I did not anticipate your objections. Do you wish me to deactivate Lal?” Data relented with little resistance.
Picard and Q both quickly exchanged a look of alarm as it flashed across their respective faces. Picard turned back to the android with utter bewilderment. “It's a life, Data!” He exclaimed. “It can’t be activated and deactivated simply! This is a most —stupendous undertaking.” The captain had to nearly force the calm back into his voice, even as concern bubbled up further and further to the surface. “Have you any idea what will happen when Starfleet learns about this?”
Data nodded obediently. “I have followed all Starfleet regulations to the best of my ability. I expected they would be pleased.” The sincerity in the android’s canary yellow eyes was near blinding, and Jean-Luc felt it strike him directly through the heart despite his best efforts.
Picard let out a sigh that rippled deep within his chest. “Well —you have taken on quite a responsibility, Data.” He acquiesced standing tall before his crewmen.
Data pulled up all available files he had on the subject. “To prepare I have scanned all available literature on parenting. There seems to be much confusion on this issue…” He began to recite without pause, “One traditional doctrine insists ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’, suggesting a punitive approach. While another more liberal attitude would allow the child enormous freedom—”
“Data—”
“—and what Klingons do to their children…”
The captain threw himself back in his seat. He could feel all semblance of his remaining composure bleed away at the absurdity of what he was hearing. “Data, I am not talking about parenting! I am talking about the extraordinary consequences of creating. A. New. Life!” Captain Picard roared. Clearly the matter was far from resolved.
Data considered this for a moment. “Does that not describe becoming a parent, sir?” He asked, genuine confusion sweetening his gilded features.
Picard hid his face in his hands, grasping for a way out of the roundabout debate he was apparently stuck in. His brooding was cut short by a bark of laughter bubbling its way to his ears. Irritatingly so… “He’s got you there, Mon Capitaine.” Q snorted, amusement ever present on his sardonic face. “You have to admit.”
The icy stare the captain shot at the former entity crackled and slipped past his fingers as he glared at him from between them. If looks could kill, Q would have frozen to death on the spot, as he locked eyes with Picard. Faux innocence plastered across his face. Picard ignored him again. “Data, you are seeking to achieve what only your own creator has been able to achieve— to make another functioning sentient android— to make another Data.” He implored the android in one more last-ditch effort to make him understand.
What the captain didn’t seem to grasp was that he already did understand, better than Picard was willing to grant him. “That is why I must attempt this, sir.” The android explained. Conviction never wavering as he held the captain’s hazel eyes with his own of pale goldenrod. “I have observed that in most species there is a primal instinct to perpetuate themselves. Until now, I have been the last of my kind. If I were to be damaged or destroyed I would be lost forever, but if I am successful with the creation of Lal, my continuance is assured. I understand the risks, sir, and I am prepared to accept the responsibility.” Picard hated just how right Data was. He hated even more that he was compelled to agree with his sentiment, and he had no argument to stand on. So he didn't argue, he simply nodded and dismissed him with no further objections following the commander with tired eyes.
Q made no move to leave with him, instead waiting patiently until he was sure they were alone. “Don’t be so hard on him, Mon Capitaine,” he purred, “Like he said, this was the next logical evolutionary step… for an android.”
All at once Picard’s anger returned in full force. He had been so preoccupied with his conversation with Data that he had almost forgotten Q was still in the room. At the moment he wished he could forget. “You knew...” He ground out through gritted teeth. “You knew what he was going to do from the very beginning, —didn’t you?”
Q didn’t miss a beat. “Of course.” He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which might as well have been the truth.
Keeping his composure was starting to become a laborious task for the poor captain. “And did you have any intention of informing me at all?”
“Absolutely not.” Drawled Q.
“And why not?” Picard slumped tiredly in his chair despite himself.
The other man rolled his eyes, completely ignoring the captain’s own annoyance. “We’ve been over this countless times already, Jean-Luc. I couldn’t even if I had wanted to.” He explained waving him off.
Captain Picard righted himself in his seat and leaned himself over the desk, hands clasped and his hazel eyes narrowed. “Would you have?” He asked, his voice only a few decibels above a whisper.
A sharp smile spread across Q’s face, all teeth and taunt as he stared right back. He leaned in, much in the same way as Jean-Luc had, capturing his warm honey-toned gaze with his own of smooth rich coffee. “Not a chance.”
“Fine, Q. Tell me this at least—” Jean-Luc replied, standing his ground despite the way Q was looking at him. There was a slight predatory quality to Q’s gaze that he found mildly disarming. “To what extent did you aid Commander Data in the creation of Lal?”
Q, with one last smirk directed at Picard, resumed his previous position, lounging back in his seat. “Oh, I didn't assist the android much at all. I didn't need to. All I did was push a few buttons and conduct a bit of light record keeping. Records you now have full access to, mind you.” he informed slipping back into his old irreverent presence.
Picard didn’t buy it. “That’s all?” He grilled.
“But, of course!” Q beamed suddenly, his smirk morphing into a smile of faux innocence. “Whether you like it or not, Picard, he was always going to attempt to create an offspring. With or without my interference. You can hardly fault me for indulging him.”
Jean-Luc sat for a moment drawing in a beat of silence with his jaw clenched tight. “No.” He conceded finally, “— I suppose not…” although he was not happy about it at all.
The former entity couldn't help but feel satisfied in himself for once again gaining the upper hand. The little self-gratified smile never left his face, in fact it widened as he decided to push just a little bit further. “But, then again, that’s not really what has you so upset, is it Jean-Luc?” Challenged Q with the quirk of a brow. Jean-Luc met this with a dark expression of his own.
“Just what exactly are you insinuating?”
The other man shrugged. “Nothing really. Just that our little Pinocchio is growing up. That’s bound to heighten some already rather unpleasant emotions. Especially since he didn’t bother to run it by you. Huh, Geppetto?”
Jean-Luc could hardly believe what he was hearing with his own ears. It took him a moment for what Q said to really dawn on him, and it hit him hard when it did. A spike of anger or perhaps something else he couldn’t place struck him deep within his chest. “You cannot possibly be suggesting that I am suffering from some sense of— ‘parental betrayal’ from all this! As if Data was some ill-advised, naive, teenager deciding to have a baby on a whim!” Jean-Luc quickly rose from his seat. “Data is a grown man, —and he is NOT my son!” He exclaimed looming over the desk above Q, hands firmly planted on the smooth glass.
As was to be expected, Q did not flinch. In fact he hardly reacted at all to the other man's tirade. Jean-Luc might as well have said nothing. “I never said he was,” he shrugged again, “but he’s like a son to you. You at least care for him as such, do you not?”
The captain threw his hands up in frustration, becoming increasingly more animated the more time was spent entertaining what was to him a preposterous idea. “This is ridiculous, of course I care a great deal about Data! I care for all of my crew equally!” He pushed aside his chair to pace impatiently next to his desk. As he began to calm down again he leaned a hip against it in resignation. “I merely worry what will happen to Lal if Starfleet decides to take matters into their own hands.” He sighed.
“Yes, I’m sure you do,” he patronized, “but you can’t deny that you pay special attention to the android. As for Lal…” Jean-Luc shifted his gaze back to Q as he considered his words. The prodding quirk of the other man’s brow was unsurprising, but it was the conviction trapped in his intense brown eyes that held his attention captive. “What would you do if anyone threatened them? Data’s child?” Q probed, all amusement siphoned from his face.
“I would—” Jean-Luc started, but he quickly found he didn’t have an answer to that. At least not one that would help his case. “I would do whatever I could —to protect them…” He conceded at last, shoulders visibly sagging.
The amusement returned to his face tugging at the corners of his full lips. “That’s exactly what I thought you'd say.” He chuckled, rising from his seat in one swift, elegant motion that reminded Jean-Luc of the god-like being he once was. “Sounds like you have a lot to think about. I’ll leave you to it.” He turned his back on the captain and made his way to the door, his long legs taking their sweet time in doing so. He stopped just before the doors could slide closed behind him. “Oh, and Jean-Luc…” The captain perked up reflexively at the sound of his name. “If Junior or Trelane were to pull a similar stunt like that with me, ..I think I just might feel exactly as you do now.” He left without another word.
Jean-Luc rested his elbows on his desk and his head in his hands as he let out another deep, long-suffering sigh.
~
Despite his insistence otherwise and his own knowledge of events, Q was immensely invested in Lal’s development. There was just something about watching everything unfold up close and in real time, that Q found fascinating. He was so used to acting as a distant, silent observer, that the novelty of being an active participant was just about the only thing keeping his newly human, and far too quiet, mind sane and occupied. So when Data invited him to accompany him and Deanna to help Lal choose her own gender and appearance, he assured the android he would be there.
“I am very glad you could join us, Q.” Data greeted as Q sauntered over to catch up with them.
“Oh, I wouldn’t miss it. I’m sure this is bound to be an… entertaining experience." Q gave Data a polite smile that was only a touch disingenuous. Something Data naturally didn't pick up on.
The sound of Lal’s voice caught the other’s attention suddenly. The sound was so unfinished and androgynous that it was hard to ignore. “Gender, female.” They said robotically pointing at a random female crewman as she passed by.
“That’s right, Just like me.” Deanna smiled, encouraging and ever gentle as she always was.
Lal ignored the Counselor and continued to peer about assessing every inch of their surroundings. “Gender, male.” They announced at a passing male crewman, much too loud and aggressively then they knew how to control.
“Mhm.” Q nodded suppressing a laugh at the poor male crewman’s expense. “Like me,” he explained, “I suppose.” Lal looked at him strangely for a moment, to the best of their ability given their limited facial movement, then all at once they ignored him again. Q was quick to notice. He wasn’t sure what to make of the way Lal had been staring at him, so he decided to ignore it for the time being.
“And I am gender,…neuter.” Lal stated regarding themself simply. “inadequate.”
For whatever reason that statement struck a cord, or perhaps a nerve with Q. “Oh I wouldn't say ‘inadequate’. There is certainly something to be said about the ability to choose.” He was quick to explain. “I personally think there is a certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ to the fluidity of gender, or lack thereof.” Q thought back on all of the different forms he had taken in the several billion years he’d been alive. Countless different species, every different combination of gender and presentation imaginable. With a single thought they could all be his in a fraction of an instant.
Until now.
The Q had no physical form and thus no true concept of gender. So any presentation they took was just as much them as any other. The problem was that now, all of a sudden he had no choice and he couldn’t just ‘change his mind’ anymore. Now, while taking the form of a human male wasn’t incorrect, as far as Q was concerned, he couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of loss and longing for his ability to choose his own sex and appearance.
Even if it wasn’t obvious by the look on his face, Deanna could sense the immense grief he didn’t have the wherewithal to keep buried. The intensity of it told Deanna she would be wise to bring up the matter during Q’s next mandatory counseling session. Not that he was likely to open up anytime soon, but it was still worth a try.
“That is why I am giving you the opportunity to choose a gender Lal, to complete your appearance." Data instructed, completely oblivious to the emotional turmoil happening right beside him.
“What are criteria?” Inquired Lal.
“Access your data bank on sexuality and gender, level two. That will define the parameters.”
Deanna returned her attention back to Lal with a polite nod. “Whatever you decide will be yours for your lifetime. It’s a decision that will affect how people interrelate with you.”
Lal’s response was almost instant. “I choose your sex and appearance."
Both Q and Deanna let out a soft chuckle at the new android’s reply, tumultuous emotions all but forgotten.
“No, Lal. That would be confusing. We are taking you to the holodeck to show you several thousand composites I have programmed. You may choose from them.” The elder android lectured.
—“Several thousand?”
—“Several thousand?” Exclaimed Q and Deanna.
Data nodded. “This is a big decision…”
As expected, it took hours to narrow down Lal’s options. Try as they may neither Q nor Deanna had made it to the end. Deanna, despite her best efforts, ended up falling asleep against the wall of the holodeck half way through.
Q usually had very little patience or attention to afford his new coworkers. Even on a good day. He’d much rather listen to his own unstable internal dialogue than listen to them prattle on about concepts he already knew inside and out. This time Q at least attempted to be a little more self disciplined. His new found morbid curiosity had its limits too it seemed, as in the end he too ended up slumped against the wall, snoring lightly through a dreamless sleep.
While the two were asleep, Lal had whittled their options down to just four. Data softly shook the two awake from their impromptu nap. Q woke with a start while Deanna lifted her head gently from its place against his shoulder. They rose to their feet to give the androids their full attention as Lal made her final choice. The finalists were down to an Andorian female, a human male, and female, and a Klingon male. In the end Lal chose the human female.
Once she made her final choice, Data got right to work on making the holodeck’s approximation a reality. He had access to more resources than his creator before him, which allowed him to give her more realistic skin and eye color than his own. When she was finished she appeared just as human as any one else on the ship. Dressed in lilac and orchid. She was fair skinned, with bobbed hair as dark as her father’s. Data watched her take her first real steps out into the world. Her cerulean blue eyes scanned her surroundings like a radar, sharp and ever processing information. Her gait was stiff and jerky, her arms held rigidly at her side. Watching his new daughter interact with her environment with such awkward fascination and curiocity, Data knew all at once that his efforts were worthwhile. But there was still so much left to do.
“Second officer, science log supplemental: Training in social skill at the most elementary level has begun. Lal is progressing very slowly, but is not deterred by early setbacks. While motor coordination has improved twelve percent, reflexes still need to develop. Visual Comprehension is especially difficult for Lal. Translating her vast data banks into recognizable applications may improve with additional transfers. She is also learning to supplement her innate android behavior with simulated human responses. And it is interesting to note that as I observe Lal learning about her world, I share in her experiences as though I am learning things over again.”
~
“What does Lal do when you're on duty?” Asked Wesley after Data had entertained the boy’s curiosity by telling him all he wanted to know as he began completing the third crosslink transfer.
“She studies in our quarters. She requires very little supervision,” Data replied, “Lal is quite self-sufficient.”
Wesley had his eyes trained on the new android as she stood deactivated on her platform in the lab. “Have you considered sending her to school?” He continued to question as he studied her face a moment longer.
Data peered back at the boy, puzzled. “She already has access to the sum of human knowledge from me.”
“She can learn a lot by being around children her own age.”
Data was silent for a beat as he assessed what the boy had said. “She is only two weeks old.” He retorted, puzzled even further.
A fond smile spread over Wes’ face as he shook his head. “Okay, close to her own age.”
Q Junior, who up until this point had been occupying himself by circling the new android like a hungry vulture, hummed a laugh at the elder android’s absurdity. “I think we’re talking about physical age here, Data,” he explained with a smirk and a raised brow, “and I mean, wasn’t that the argument for sending me and Trelane to school? ‘Social interaction’.” Junior ceased his circling to stand by the other boy’s side with a wry smile. “Whatever that’s good for.” Wesley rolled his eyes at the comment then jabbed him lightly in the side with his elbow, earning a laugh from Junior. Before he could properly retaliate, the sound of Doctor Crusher’s authoritative voice drew their attention.
“Doctor Crusher to Ensign Crusher: Aren't you supposed to be getting a haircut, Wesley?” She called her son through his combadge. The reprimand was clear in her voice, only with an edge of fond teasing.
The other two watched a poor put on the spot Wesley expectantly. Q Junior trying his best to suppress a laugh. “I’m on my way.” Wesley replied. He glared daggers at the both of them but the bright smile on his face told them he wasn’t truly offended. He turned to leave when another voice rang through the com just as fond and teasing.
“You too QJ. Time to head home, I need someone to keep an eye on Trelane.” Q’s voice rang through perhaps a touch louder than was necessary. Both boys gave full body eyerolls and a perfectly in sync:
—“Parents.”
—“Parents.”
They both thought it best to take their leave. “Nothing personal.” Wesley offered Data politely before both boys turned to leave together.
“Who’s idea was it to put those two together anyway?” Junior remarked, earning a snort of laughter from the other boy.
After the boys had left, Data began thinking about what they had said. The completion of the third crosslink transfer meant that Lal would now successfully begin to process information on logic, aesthetics, metaphysics, etcetera. By developing the awareness to question and examine her perceptions, she would now begin to properly pass into sentience. There was only so much he could teach her beyond that point. Perhaps having Lal attend school was an idea with merit. He looked upon his creation, his daughter, who would no doubt have more questions than he had answers to. It was abundantly clear that they both still had much to learn.
He decided then that she would, in fact, be attending school.
~
Jean-Luc had been right about Starfleet’s reaction once they caught wind of Commander Data’s newest little experiment. He tended to know better in these sorts of situations, and he knew exactly how one track minded his superior officers could be. Admiral Haftel was one of the worst offenders of this in his opinion. Now he was far from being as morally bankrupt as some late admirals he’s had the displeasure of serving under, but he was that special brand of pig-headed that made you wonder sometimes.
So when Captain Picard received the incoming transmission from Starfleet he knew he was going to need to play his cards right, and exorcise a great deal of patience. “I assure you Admiral there is no better guide into this life for Lal than Data, he’s doing an excellent job.” He assured, already tiring of a conversation that hadn’t even begun yet. To be fair, Admiral Haftel was also ready for their conversation to be over and done with already. In his mind there was no conversation to be had.
“We all have enormous admiration for what Commander Data has already achieved,” the admiral began, not even trying to sound convincing in the slightest, “but we have superior facilities and personnel here on Galor Four. A starship is hardly the proper setting for…”
“This starship’s mission is to seek out new life, and that is exactly what Commander Data is doing. Under my guidance.” The captain rebutted.
“We all want what’s best for the new Android.” The admiral claimed. Which was just about the only thing Jean-Luc could agree with.
“—As do I.” Captain Picard let out a small sigh as he gathered his thoughts. “I would be willing to consider releasing Lal and Data to you so that he may continue his work with her.” As remiss as he was to admit it, he felt this was a situation in which a compromise may likely be the only option that could end in the androids’ favor. Although Data’s presence would be sorely missed if it came to that.
“His presence would undoubtedly retard the android’s progress.” Captain Picard had to physically stop himself from sneering at the inappropriate use of such an outdated, ableist slur. Picard wouldn’t usually let something like that slip past him, but as a diplomat he knew that sometimes you had to pick your battles, and his personal objections would do nothing to help Data and Lal’s current plight.
“Admiral, to you Lal is a new android, but to Data—” Despite his best efforts he couldn’t quite find the right words to make him understand. “—She’s his child.” Perhaps it was the rush of fondness he felt for his second officer, but he hoped the truth would appeal to the admiral. He thought back on what Q had said just a few weeks earlier. He couldn’t help but wonder if there might have been just a touch of truth to it.
“His child?” Echoed Haftel.
“Yes, Admiral. It may not be easy for you and I to see her that way, but he does —and I respect that.” He said, and he truly did. He may not have fully understood, but he didn’t have to. It was not for either of them to understand. This wasn’t about them. This was about Data and Lal, and that was more than enough for him. “They will remain here for now.” Picard maintained with finality in his voice.
Admiral Haftel didn’t exactly appreciate Captain Picard's steadfastness, just as much as he clearly wasn’t happy with the turn of events. Although he allowed both for now. “Starfleet’s policy is clear. You're making a stand on very uncertain ground. We do hope it doesn't fall out from under you. Haftel out.” And with that the transmission ended.
Despite his having partially won this battle, Jean-Luc let out another defeated sigh. He could sense the war was yet to come and he had no idea how he was going to get them through it.
~
While Captain Picard was busy trying to find a way out of the situation with Admiral Haftel, Data had been called to meet with one of Lal’s teachers. She had only been attending school for a few days but he was hopeful that Lal was at least making some progress.
Lal’s teacher, a lean woman with dark skin and hair, sat across from him unsure of how to start. She didn’t usually like to break the bad news first to parents but Lal seemed to be a special case. So she settled for the first positive thing she could think of. “She achieved a very high score on a test of academic achievement.” She had offered. Data noted that the look on her face was pinched and unsure, but he was not sure of the relevance of it in comparison to her statement.
“A perfect score.” He offered her back.
“Yes,” she affirmed. She wanted to give him one last piece of sollice before she inevitably had to pull the rug out from under him. “Which is why we started her out with the older children, but Lal couldn't understand the nuances of how they related to each other.”
Data’s already stoic face fell ever so slightly. “I see.”
“We decided the best thing to do would be to put her with younger children.” The teacher continued trying to stave off the guilt that settled in her at the sight of his disappointed face.
“That would seem to be reasonable.” Replied Data.
She shook her head. “It isn't working out that way.” The teacher rose from her desk and led Data over to a one-way window overlooking her classroom. There was a circular table in the middle of the room that was overlooked by a teaching desk. Just about every seat at the table was filled, and in the far corner of the room stood Lal, ram-rod straight, eyes ever observant as she watched the other children play together. Not a single one daring to meet her eye.
“The children are afraid of her.”
It hurt the poor woman to have to show a first time father their child being ostracized. Even if said father couldn't feel any of the pain that may come with it. Then, out of the corner of her eye she saw someone walk right up to Lal. Arms full of stacks of paper, some brushes and paints he already managed to spill on himself. He smiled at her from behind the paint brush he held between his teeth.
“All except for one.” She pointed to Trelane as he took Lal by the hand and led her to an empty table, now attempting to balance everything in one arm. “He hasn’t left her side since she arrived.” Her smile faltered again as she watched the other children all turn to observe the two outliers. They sneered, and snickered, and whispered to their neighbors about how strangely they acted. One of them boisterous and animated, and the other mechanical and stiff. “I’d like to say that’s a good thing for her social development, but he’s a bit socially inept himself…” Their teacher sighed. “The children are a bit afraid of him too…”
“Father. What is the significance of laughter?” Inquired Lal as she and Trelane were led from the schoolroom. Data had told Q he would walk him home to their quarters since Trelane had a tendency of running off on his own.
“It is a human physiological response to humor.” Answered her father.
“Or pain in some cases.” Trelane added, always quick to offer commentary of his own whether prompted or not.
“Then judging by their laughter, the children at school found my remarks humorous …or painful.” She reasoned. She rolled the idea around in her positronic brain and found herself rather opposed to what she found. “So without understanding humor, I have somehow mastered it.” She turned herself from the two of them as the resulting silence stretched on.
Data struggled to find an appropriate response as he called for the Turbolift to begin motion. Lacking in emotion himself meant that offering any solace was difficult for him. Lal possessing that same lack of emotion should have made his efforts much easier, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
Trelane, to his credit, tried to offer what little he could. “It’s alright, Lal. They were laughing at me too. Laughing at us both, I suppose.”
“Explain.” Lal ordered.
Data searched his own positronic brain for a way to do just that. “The other children were laughing at you in an unkind manner.” He explained. “I believe Trelane is trying to make you… ‘feel better’. In a way that I cannot.”
Lal considered this before asking, “Why would they wish to be unkind?”
Trelane shrugged. “Because we’re different.” He replied matter-of-factly.
Data nodded in agreement and proceeded to further explain. “Differences sometimes scare people. I have learned that some of them use humor to hide their fear.”
Knowing this Lal decided right then and there, “I do not wish to be different.” She declared.
Data didn’t know how to respond to that. The fact of the matter was that she was simply, unequivocally different from the other children in all technicality. There was nothing that he could do to change that as she was just like him. And he had no words of comfort that even he could find sanctuary in.
Trelane however didn’t seem to have this problem. Or perhaps he just didn't understand why it was a problem in the first place. “People fear what they don’t understand.” He said locking eyes with Data, then with Lal. “Maybe if they just got to know us they’d see we aren't so different after all…”
Data thought long and hard about what the little boy had said the rest of the day. Long after he left Lal to study in their quarters. The littlest Q had a point. If they just understood Lal there would be no need to fear her for simply being different…but she was different, and likely always will be no matter how well she learned to assimilate. In this way she would always be ostracized, and Data had no idea what he was going to do about it.
At a loss, he strode into the office of the only other person he felt could offer him any sound advice. “Doctor. I require your advice as a successful parent.”
Beverly stifled a surprised laugh at Data’s sometimes interesting way of articulating himself. “Well thank you Data.” She offered him an amused smile. “I’d like to think I was. How’s Lal?” She asked as she offered him a seat at her desk, which he politely took.
“Lal is realizing she is not the same as other children.” Answered Data.
Beverly sat herself on the edge of her desk with a knowing smile. “Is it lonely for her?”
“She does not feel the emotion of loneliness, but she can observe how isolated she is from the others. She wishes to be more like them. I do not know how to help her. Lal is passing into sentience, it is perhaps the most difficult stage in her development.” Understanding now the kind of conversation they were having, she moved to take her proper seat at the desk and gave her fellow single parent all of her attention.
“When Wesley was growing up, he was an extraordinarily bright boy, but he had a hard time making friends.” She recounted fondly. “I think the other children were a little intimidated by him.”
“That is precisely what happened to Lal at school. How did you help him?” Data all but pleaded, lacking the ability to do so in the first place.
“Well,” she began, collecting her thoughts, “first I went back to my own childhood and remembered how painful it was for me. Because, I remember a time when I wasn't very popular either. And when I told that to Wesley, it made him feel a little better.” She diverted her eyes from the android and she reminisced on old forgotten memories. When she did return her gaze to the android her eyes shone with empathy, “He knew I understood what he was going through.”
“I have not told Lal how difficult it was for me to assimilate. I did not wish to discourage her.” Data’s brow furrowed in thought. “Perhaps that was an error in judgement.”
Her gaze never left Data’s as she spoke to him in a way that he could understand, her voice that much more melodic and captivating as it usually was. “You didn't have anyone with experience to help you through sentience. She at least has you. Just help her realize she’s not alone, and… be there to nurture her when she needs love and attention.”
Data did not hesitate in his response. His expression and tone held the utmost certainty. “I can give her attention, Doctor, but I am incapable of giving her love.” With a simple nod of thanks the android turned on his heels and left the room.
“Now why do I find that so hard to believe?...” She whispered aloud to herself as she watched him leave her office with amusement plastered on her face. Once Data was gone, she shifted her attention to the figure standing just beyond the door, within earshot, but not quite outside her line of sight. Almost as if he wasn’t even trying to hide. “Alright, Q, what is it?” She called, briefly startling the eavesdropper. “What’s on your mind?”
“Excuse me?” He coughed, trying to hide his embarrassment at having been caught. He stepped through the door so he could respond properly, with the proper amount of indignance. “There is currently nothing on my mind at the moment, thank you very much!” Q hesitated for a moment before uncharacteristically muttering a quick: “I was just leaving.” Just as Q was about to turn tail and run, the door to Doctor Crusher’s office suddenly closed on him with a swift swoosh cutting him off.
“Sit down, Q.” Beverly warned. “Doctor’s orders.” Her voice demanded all the respect her rank awarded her. Q wasn’t one to care much about a person’s hierarchical standing. Typically the only one he awarded any semblance of respect to was himself, so the fact that he had the audacity to look affronted was unsurprising.
Q stood tall, folding his arms over his chest. “And if I refuse?” He attempted to use his imposing stature as an intimidation tactic.
Beverly didn’t flinch even for a second. “You wouldn't want me to get the captain involved, would you?” To Q’s credit his posture remained unwavering, but his highly expressive face visibly deflated, earning him a wicked grin from the good doctor. “That’s better. Now tell me what’s on your mind.” She coaxed. “The whole time we were talking you looked like you wanted to say something… so say it.”
“There’s nothing to say!” Q was nothing if not a stubborn man, but he was not stupid. Fight back as he may, but he knew when he was out matched. Unfortunately for him, when Beverly wanted information she was going to get it by any means. Q let out a long intentionally overdramatic sigh and dropped himself in the seat Data had occupied moments earlier. “Fine. Hypothetically, if there was anything to say, I would’ve said that… I wasn’t able to do that when Junior was growing up… Relate to him, that is.” Q spoke flippantly as he made himself comfortable for what was likely to be a very uncomfortable conversation. He was careful to keep his eyes away from Beverly’s. He chose to study his nailbeds intensely instead. “That’s what I would hypothetically say if that were the case… hypothetically.” He only spared a glance at her after he was finished and the look on her face made him regret it instantly.
Beverly hummed in intrigue, bridging her slender fingers and resting her chin on them. “You couldn’t? You didn’t? Or you just won't?...Hypothetically, of course. ”
“Well, hypothetically, what if I said it was some kind of combination of all three?...” Q began. “I couldn’t because I had no frame of reference myself. A Q has never raised a child in the continuum before. Oh sure, there have been some who have taken mortal form, birthed children as mortals, raised them as mortals, but never has a child been conceived, born, and raised within the continuum as a Q. How could I possibly relate to struggles no one else has ever faced? Sooo… I didn’t. I stuck to what I knew and taught him the fundamentals of being a Q. How to forge a black hole, how to make a star go supernova, as well as Q politics and the few rules the continuum does have and… hoped that would be enough.” Q muttered that last little bit under his breath mostly to himself.
“So why won't you now?” Beverly asked, not missing a beat.
Q was silent for a rather significant stretch of time. He just wasn’t sure how much he was willing to divulge to her. Although they had been working together for some time now they weren’t on the best of terms. Just like the rest of the crew, Beverly still didn’t fully trust him. He couldn’t blame her, of course, but something about the gentle way she had helped Data made him believe he could at least talk to her. After all, he’s already been laid so low. He already didn’t have much more to lose, so he sat up straight and laid out everything he was willing to divulge. “Because, I don’t think he needs it. This whole time he’s been trying to do for me the very thing I never could for him. Relate… Once, as a punishment, I turned him human for an entire week. Which doesn't sound like much, but it was a lot longer than Trelane or I ever experienced.” Q paused what he was saying, momentarily worried he had divulged too much. Ultimately he decided that he just didn’t care anymore. “When the continuum threw us out he had been the one to teach us, as best he could, how to function. Which in and of itself I’m sure was a feat all on its own.” Q sighed. “He seems like he has everything under control.”
Beverly’s knowing smile remained on her face for the most part but the look in her green-blue eyes visibly softened. “Teenagers like to act like they have everything figured out, but this is a stage in their lives when they need our understanding and empathy the most. Children always need their parents, no matter how big they get. All things considered, he may need you to put yourself in his shoes now more than ever.”
“I wouldn’t know where to start. The Q have never been particularly good at having empathy for others.”
“Well, ‘it takes a village’.”
Q blinked. “I beg your pardon?”
Beverly chuckled lightly. “It’s an old Earth phrase, it goes: ‘it takes a village to raise a child.’...”
“I’m familiar with it…” It was clear from his face that, while yes he’d heard the phrase before, he couldn't quite understand what it had to do with his failure to be there for his son.
“Look Q,” Beverly sat up straighter in her seat. She realized she wasn’t going to get anywhere without spelling everything out. “I don't think we’re talking in hypotheticals anymore. What you need is a support system. Someone you can go to when you don't have all the answers… a village.” She searched his eyes for understanding.
The former entity let out a small scoff that morphed into a wicked little half giggle, piercing and bitter. “I had a village. But what do you do when your village casts you out and leaves you and two children to fend for yourselves?” He tried not to, he really did, but he couldn’t keep his voice from rising. His new human body just seemed to refuse to keep his emotions in check and it was really starting to get to him. The lack of control was one of those things about being human he was likely never going to get used to.
Only half aware of his internal struggle, the good doctor leaned herself over the desk. The very same way Q typically did, in that special way that made you feel uncomfortable and far too exposed. He looked her back dead in the eye, remaining stock still in his chair. But on the inside, he had to refrain from physically shying away. “Then you find yourself a new village. You’re human now, Q. You need a human village, and whether you know it or not, whether you like it or not, you’ve already got one.” Beverly placed her hand against the desk and slid it over to him soft and slow, as if trying not to spook a wounded animal. “If you ever need help with Q Junior or Trelane you know where to find me.” She offered him her upturned palm with the first genuine smile she’d given him, ever.
“But…” Q’s eyes darted back and forth between her outstretched hand and her faded-blue jean eyes. He wore his distrust on his face like a mask, and the more he thought about it the more that distrust began to turn to offense, then to anger. “You have no reason to do anything for me. Why, in any universe, would you do that?” He seethed through gritted teeth. “After everything I’ve done…” Mumbled Q as he worked to physically keep his temper at bay.
At no point in his tirade did Beverly ever back down or rescind her unspoken offer. Instead she doubled down. “Those boys are reason enough.” She was sure to articulate it as gently and as clearly as necessary. “I don’t think either of us need much more than that.”
All at once, Q’s anger instantly slipped away, and suddenly he didn’t know what to think. As he sat in silence, thinking what she said over, it became abundantly clear she wasn’t doing this for him. ‘Correction:’ he thought. She wasn’t just doing this for him. She was doing it for them. Which was something he could certainly respect. It has been weeks since the boys and him became a regular part of life on the ship, and even now he still saw the way everyone looked at them. He truly couldn't care less if anyone distrusted him, there was more than enough good reason, but they also distrusted his sons with just as much vitriol.
Beverly however, never did. Not for a second. Even when most of the senior staff did. Q couldn’t for the life of him think of an instance where she didn’t treat them like exactly what they were. Children. She was a mother herself after all, a single mother at that. It occurred to him then that therein lies where they found their common ground. Beverly knew, more or less, what he was going through. She too had to find her own village, and now had the means to offer the same support to others. To him. The alarm bells continued to ring in his mind, and likely would continue to, but he decided to ignore them. She was right, he was in no position to turn away her help.
“You know what?” Said Q. Beverly, ever the patient woman, had waited for him to sort out his jumbled thoughts. He gave her one of his old familiar grins, smarmy and full of teeth, as he completely bypassed her open palm still laying still across the desktop. “You're not as much of a quack as I originally thought.” She reared back in surprise as he thrust his own hand out to her, taking back the space she had stolen from him.
Beverly stared at his hand out of shock, but after only a moment of hesitation she took it. The handshake was a little impersonal for her tastes, but she understood his hesitancy. They could work on that later. “And you're not as much of a pain in the…well, you still are a pain in the neck for sure, but not as much as I originally thought.” She teased back as they shook on it.
—“Hypothetically.”
—“Hypothetically.” For the first time Q and Beverly shared a true genuine laugh.
~
“Captain’s Log Supplemental: We are holding position pending the arrival of Admiral Haftel from Starfleet research. Commander Data is completing his final neural Transfers to the android he has named Lal, which I have learned in the language Hindi means ‘beloved’.”
“Data, do you care to explain why you thought it appropriate to bring Q here for this conversation?” While he was far from thrilled to have Q listening in, the captain had little to no reaction to seeing him occupying the seat next to Data. The sudden appearance of Q in his ready room was beginning to become an infuriatingly familiar sight.
“The same way I got involved in the first place.” Q explained flashing him a sweet smile. “I just happened to be in the neighborhood."
Picard arched a brow at the android, urging him to give his own version of the story. “Q followed me here, sir.” He answered honestly, as he always did. “He said he wished to see how everything would ‘pan out’.” Q just shrugged in response. He didn’t even bother trying to disprove it.
The same way Picard didn’t bother trying to suppress an eyeroll as he breathed out a quick yet authoritative: “Get out, Q.”
“Oh come on, Mon Capitaine! I’ll behave!” Q was all smiles as he pleaded, “You two just talk about the admiral’s little surprise visit and I’ll just sit here and look pretty.” He held a single slender finger to his lips as he held the captain’s gaze. It was clear that Picard was not entertaining his usual pageantry, so Q was sure to bat his eyes a few times just to sweeten the deal.
Data, bless him, was only attuned to the mention of Admiral Haftel’s impending visit. “I am certain the admiral is anxious to meet Lal. I have been sending him regular status reports on her development.”
Captain Picard tactfully decided to ignore Q for the time being to focus on the problem at hand. “His visit is not just an inspection of Lal’s progress, he has expressed concern for her environment.” He explained as gently as he could.
“Her environment, sir?”
“He believes the Daystrom Annex on Galor Four would be more suitable.”
The android furrowed his brow. “Then he wishes to relocate us.”
Picard shook his head. “Not you, Data… just her.”
Data took almost no time mulling over a response. “I would not be in favor of that, sir.” He stated matter of factly. “There are many things that she can only learn from me. My lifetime of experiences, the mistakes I have made and what I have learned from them.”
“The admiral is taking the position that Lal’s development be overseen by the most experienced personnel.” Captain Picard inwardly cringed at the sound of the words tumbling awkwardly from his lips. To him it almost sounded as if he was siding with the admiral rather than simply relaying some unpleasant information. Which couldn’t be further from the truth.
The creases in the android’s brow deepened further as he rose to his feet, looking away in thought, letting everything sink in. “Then he is questioning my ability as a parent.” He stated rather than asking, locking eyes with the captain with an intensity that made something twist painfully in his chest.
Picard, not being one to bend to discomfort, held Data’s gaze with just as much vehemence as he replied, “In a manner of speaking…”
“I’ll say…” The sound of Q’s voice surprised Picard. His posture had not changed, lax and apathetic as always, but there was a certain amount of spite in his tone that cut through his usual snark in a way that he was sure was unintentional.
“Does the admiral have children?” Data asked, redirecting the captain’s attention.
He thought carefully about what Data had asked. “Yes, I believe he does, Data—” Intoned Picard, as he regained his mental composure, “Why?”
“I am forced to wonder how much experience he had as a parent when his first child was born.” Data queried.
“More than us for sure, Data,” Data stood glued to the spot at Q’s statement. Even Captain Picard was taken aback by what had so brazenly slipped past his lips, until, “but for what it’s worth…with what you had… You've done a better job with her than any of us could have dreamed of.”
Understanding flashed quickly across the android’s golden eyes. “Thank you, Q.” He uttered genuinely as he turned to leave the room.
“Any time.” He mumbled a reply as he watched the door slide shut behind him.
Jean-Luc stared at Q from where he sat perched on the edge of his desk, content to let Q share in the silence for the time being. Of course, Q was never one to let silence stretch on for too long.
“So what are you going to do?” He mused.
“What is there to do?” Jean-Luc sighed, shaking his head. “I have my orders.” He was beginning to hate himself for having to say those words.
Q barked a huff of cruel laughter. “So, you’re set on following orders.” He echoed, sounding mildly disappointed but not at all surprised. “Giving up, just like that…”
Jean-Luc crossed his arms indignantly. “What do you suppose I do, Q?” He half-questioned, annoyance coloring his words. “My orders, my duty, dicta—”
“Duty?” Q cut in. “To Starfleet?...What about your other duties?” Jean-Luc urged him silently with his eyes to clarify, an unsaid request Q was all too happy to oblige. “What about your duty to your crew? Not only to command them, but also to care for them. Is that not what it means to be captain?” Q sat up straight in his chair. There was a fire in his eyes that burned bright with the same spite from before. “Or does that not apply to androids?” Q crooned darkly. “So I ask you again, Mon Capitaine, what are you going to do?...”
Q rose from his seat and strode from the room. He didn’t bother to spare the captain a parting glance. He didn’t need to. The sight of fire burning hot in his gaze had been enough to stun Picard into silence. He was struck by the clear affection Q displayed for said android. He had only seen it once before. The first time the Continuum took away his powers, he’d said that Data was far better at being human than he was. Jean-Luc had been dismissive of him then, regrettably so, but now he was starting to think Q might just be getting the hang of it.
~
Learning the ins and outs of human behavior hadn’t gotten easier for Lal, which was something Commander Data could certainly relate to. While he could relate, he couldn’t always be there to teach Lal and considering the fact that he himself still had not fully mastered human behavior, Data couldn’t deny that he needed help.
If there was ever a place aboard the Enterprise to observe human behavior, Ten Forward was absolutely the place. And its bartender was a more than qualified teacher. Guinan, with all her infinite patience, took the poor girl under her wing with open arms. Under her guidance Lal made a number of moderate improvements in her assimilation, and one very extraordinary improvement. She learned to use contractions. A small feat for any average human, but a skill Data had not yet mastered. On all accounts, it was a monumental technological advancement. In creating Lal Data, unintentionally or not, actually managed to improve upon his own programming. To which Data had remarked, “Is that not the goal of every parent, sir?” Lal’s ability to use contractions was every bit as perplexing as it was astonishing, and it was an advancement Captain Picard wanted to protect at all costs. He simply wasn't sure how.
For as much as he respected Starfleet and all they have accomplished, dealing with the politics of the Federation and its admiralty was often a delicate process. Starfleet sometimes prioritized scientific and technological advancements. To the point that the fleet could be a real stickler when it came to following the strict procedures involved with making said advancements. He was more than aware of how little the higher ranks could care about the rights of inorganic beings, sentient or not. As long as they got their tech, they were happy. It was a small but formidable part of the Federation that Picard would always fight back against.
In this instance he felt his only form of push back was to try and buy Data and Lal a little more time. “They're living sentient beings. Their rights and privileges in our society have been defined. I helped define them.” He’d told the admiral once he’d been beamed aboard. He’d acted as professionally as was physically possible. Full of polite smiles that hurt his cheeks with how forced they were. None of which were getting him very far, and he was beginning to lose his patience. Especially with an admiral who had only come to justify a decision he’d long since already made.
Admiral Haftel’s actual evaluation of Lal’s progress certainly could have gone better as well. Data had just finished the last of his transfers, their neural nets were now nearly identical to each other’s. Except for some slight arborations. It was hard to tell whether the admiral was thrilled or perturbed by Lal’s newfound ability to use contractions. Either way he was evermore convinced that Data was still unfit to spearhead his own child’s development. Despite the fact Data was trained in the very same diagnostic and evaluative procedures Admiral Haftel claimed were so paramount. It seemed even with all his learned experience as the only existing model for comparison they had, it still wasn’t enough for the admiral.
Hearing of her time spent in Ten Forward didn’t help at all.
"She is capable of running over 60 trillion calculations a second, and you have her working as a cocktail waitress." Groused the admiral, completely ignoring any and all attempts to assure him of Lal’s steady improvements. The admiral simply didn’t want to hear it.
"Have her report to me immediately for an interview..."
When Lal walked into the captain’s ready room she didn't know what to make of the man sitting at the head of the table. He was a very intense man, with a very intense gaze that never quite seemed to reach her eyes. Almost as if he was looking right through her. He spoke to her purely procedurally, as he not so subtly suggested that she be moved to Galor four.
She was confused at first, but kept her composure. Her positronic brain rationalized that when she’d learned all there was to learn aboard the Enterprise, she and her father would relocate to Galor four. It seemed the most logical conclusion, but Haftel fervently disagreed.
He’d tried to appeal to her. Tried to convince her that his decision was not made out of a lack of respect for her father, but even she could see how blatantly disingenuous that statement was. “You do not speak with respect." Lal had noted, conviction evident in her voice despite her natural monotone.
The admiral was far from pleased with the way in which she answered his questions. He was displeased, to say the least, with how adversarial he perceived her to be. To that Lal simply countered with. “I am merely stating a fact, admiral.” Haftel was now even more convinced that what Lal needed was superior guidance.
“My father is already helping me, sir.”
“The question is, has he helped you enough?” Haftel nearly smiled at the thought of dismantling her argument.
Lal thought for a moment. “Are you asking me, sir?”
“No I didn't mean to…”
Captain Picard held up a hand to stop him. “Why don't we, Admiral?” he began, “In all these discussions, no one has ever mentioned her wishes. She’s a free, sentient being. What are your wishes, Lal?”
Lal thought about what Captain Picard had asked and held her head high, making little to no eye contact with the admiral, just as he had done to her. “I wish to remain here, Captain Picard.” She restated.
Jean-Luc held back the proud smile threatening to spread across his face like wildfire. “Thank you, Lal. You're excused.”
~
“You have Lal off to a wonderful start in life Commander,” Admiral Haftel paced lazily across the ready room floor. He was completely convinced of his impending success. In his mind he’d already won the android. Everything else was nothing more than procedural courtesy. “...and that's what being a parent is all about. However, I have finally decided that I must ask you to release her to me.”
“May I ask why, sir?”
“All other arguments aside there’s one that’s irrefutable. There are only two Soong type androids in existence. It would be very dangerous to have you both in the same place. Especially aboard a starship. One lucky shot by a Romulan. We’d lose you both.” He reasoned.
And the admiral’s reasoning was sound, even Picard had to give him that, but he just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something fundamentally wrong in what the admiral was trying to do. And he was no longer willing to humor the admiral’s argument. “Admiral, that is a fine argument, but doesn't change my feeling that the proper place for Lal to develop is by Data’s side.” The last remaining shreds of his professionalism began to slip away as he rose from his seat. He hoped the certitude in his voice would trump the sight of his own irresolute pacing.
“You’re not a parent captain. I am.” Came his rebuttal. “I have learned, with difficulty, that there comes a time…” The admiral went quiet. A thoughtful, almost retrospective look passing quickly over his features. “There comes a time when all parents must give up their child for their own good.” He said, forcing the confidence back into his voice.
“But this is not the time!” Objected Picard. “Damn it even I can see— the umbilical cord is virtually un-cut! The child—” Picard paused for a moment as he thought of Lal. He thought of how Lal spoke of her father, of the fierce loyalty they had for each other, and for perhaps the first time Captain Picard truly saw her as she was. “The child… depends on him.” She was Data’s daughter, and right now she needed him.
Haftel decidedly ignored Picard’s argument and turned to address the android in the room. “Mr. Data it would be better for Lal if she left knowing you had voluntarily decided that this was the best course of action.”
“Admiral, when I created Lal, it was in the hope that someday she would choose to enter the academy and become a member of Starfleet. I wanted to give something back, in return for all that Starfleet has given me. I still do. But Lal is my child. You ask that I volunteer to give her up. I cannot. It would violate every lesson I have learned about human parenting. I have brought a new life into this world, and it is my duty, not Starfleet's, to guide her through these difficult steps to maturity. To support her as she learns. To prepare her to be a contributing member of society. No one can relieve me from that obligation, and I cannot ignore it… I am her father.” As Data spoke, the look in his marigold eyes stunned Jean-Luc into silence. He knew that at that moment Data needed him. Now maybe more than ever. His heart beat just a little bit harder for his android commander with so much protectiveness that it ached. It hit him then, all at once, that Q had been right. He cared for Data deeply, perhaps even like a son.
And he knew what to do…
The admiral’s face hardened. “Then, I regret that I must order you to transport Lal aboard my ship.” Haftel announced unaware of the captain’s revelation. Data rose to his feet obediently, as was per his programming.
“Belay that order, Mr. Data.” Jean-Luc ordered.
“I beg your pardon?” The admiral blinked.
Jean-Luc stood tall. “I will take this to Starfleet myself.”
“I am Starfleet, Captain.” Declared Admiral Haftel, venom lacing his words. Assuming his pulling rank was enough to end the conversation, he uttered a quick, "Proceed Commander” before turning back to type away on his PADD.
Data turned to carry out his order, “Hold your ground, Mr. Data.” Jean-Luc commanded gently, and the android obeyed.
“Captain, you are jeopardizing your command and your career.” Haftel chastised harshly.
Jean-Luc remained strong, calmly offering the admiral an understanding nod and a solemn tight-lipped smile. He knew full well what he was about to do. “There are times, sir, when men of good conscience cannot blindly follow orders…You acknowledge their sentience, but you ignore their personal liberties, and freedom… Order a man to hand his child over to the state,” Jean-Luc heaved a sigh, “not while I’m his captain—” and shook his head as he stood his ground. “If you wish, you may accompany us to Starfleet where we shall…”
“Troi to Commander Data. Report to your lab at once.”
Data looked imploringly to his captain, who dismissed him curtly. Data strode from the room quickly. As the door opened he was momentarily surprised to see Q, who was apparently standing just outside trying to eavesdrop again. No words were passed between them, Q simply followed the android and they sped off.
Jean-Luc could feel something heavy settle uncomfortably in his chest. “Acknowlaged Counselor, he is on his way. Is there a problem?”
“Yes, Captain.” Deanna answered. “Something is terribly wrong with Lal.”
The heavy feeling in his chest sank to the pit of his stomach. He motioned for Admiral Haftel to follow, and when they reached Commander Data’s lab Lal was already there. Deanna at her side. She stood on the platform completely lifeless with her head hung and her eyes wide and vacant.
“It lasted barely a moment. She experienced fear and confusion, and then, for no apparent reason she walked out of my quarters. She didn’t say a word, she just started walking here, and each step became more and more difficult.” For all her professionalism the care and concern in Deanna’s voice was as evident as ever.
“Lal is programmed to return to the lab in the case of a malfunction.” Data explained never taking his eyes off his daughter.
“Father?” Lal called. Her eyes fluttered delicately open, as she stirred to life.
“Yes, Lal. I am here.” He assured her.
Jean-Luc stared at the two in awe. “A malfunction—” he muttered reverently, “Emotional awareness.”
“It seems to be a symptom of cascade failure. It would require initialization of the base matrix without wiping out the higher functions.” Data mused aloud.
“I agree.” Haftel cut in in his usual authoritative tone. Then his expression softened, and For the first time during the entire ordeal he actually looked Commander Data in the eye. “May I assist?”
For all his obstinacy, there was one thing that the admiral had going for him. He truly had wanted to do the right thing. He’d been more than a bit bullheaded and insistent, about his way being the only way. But that was where any malicious intent stopped. He knew now that he'd gone about it the wrong way entirely. He hoped it wasn't too late to make everything right.
“Thank you, Admiral.” Data replied.
The authoritative tone returned to his voice as he squared his shoulders and addressed the rest of the crew. “If you’ll excuse us, Commander Data and I have much work to do.”
“Not without me you're not.” Q pushed past Jean-Luc and Deanna to stand indignantly before Admiral Haftel. He wasn't intimidated by him in the slightest. He could, however, practically feel the shocked stares from everyone in the room. “Well,” he coughed. “I was here for her activation. It only makes sense that I see it through to the end.” He declared, refusing to let anything cause his resolve to weaken.
Admiral Haftel just raised an eyebrow at him in response. He was about to tell him to leave until Data raised a hand to stop him.
“It is alright, Admiral.” Soothed the Commander as he locked eyes with Q and gave him a nod of appreciation. “He can help us.”
Q was frozen for a moment. He wasn’t sure how to respond, so he didn’t. He flashed Data a tightlipped half smile and immediately got to work. The other two men did the same without another word. As they worked, the words reverberated in Q’s head over and over again. ‘He can help us.’ They gnawed at him in a way that made it hard to focus. Q felt the pangs of guilt in his chest as he watched Data furiously try to save his daughter. Completely unaware that, no…
He really can’t…
~
Deanna. Geordi. Wesley. Q Junior and Trelane. They all showed up for Lal and Data. Even the captain stayed to see what would become of them. They stood single-file as they leant patiently against the wall beside the lab door.
They waited…and waited,
…Until the door finally slid open.
They were taken aback when they saw Q leave the room first. He said nothing for a while, ignoring the collection of nervous eyes imploring him to give them something, anything, to latch onto. His gaze landed on his own two children. “Q Junior…” The teen visibly perked up at the sound of his name. “Take Trelane back to our quarters.” The two boys visibly deflated.
Trelane pushed past his brother. “But—!”
“Go on.” Ordered Q his voice just short of gentle. “I’ll be right behind you.”
Both boys hesitated a bit until Q Junior laid a firm but gentle hand on the youngest Q’s shoulder and urged him on. Trelane spared one last glance at the door that held the friend he’d known for less than a week, and let himself be led away. Trusting the older Q's judgement.
Without another word, Q took the spot right next to Jean-Luc, his head hung low and his posture slumped against the wall. Even after everyone returned their nervous attention back to the door, Q felt one pair of eyes still on him. He turned to hazard a glimpse at Jean-Luc as his hazel eyes softly pleaded with him for an answer.
Q just shook his head.
Jean-Luc swallowed thickly. He didn’t have to ask anymore questions. At that moment, the door opened for the last time and Admiral Haftel stepped out into the far too bright hallway. “Sh-she won't.. survive much longer… there was nothing anyone could have done.” He blinked a few times for reasons that had nothing to do with the sudden change in lighting. “We would repolarize one pathway then another would collapse…and then another…” The admiral peered down at his palms and said, “His… hands… were moving faster than I could see, trying to stay ahead of each breakdown…” admiration shining in his eyes, “He refused to give up… it was remarkable…
...It just wasn't meant to be.” With that Haftel took his leave.
“Lal?” Data watched as Lal’s eyes fluttered to life. He made sure to wait until she was fully present, there alone with him in their lab, before regarding her with tranquil finality. “I am unable to correct the system failure.”
“I know.” Lal assured him.
“You must say goodbye now.”
“I feel…” Lal hesitated, struggling to find the right words. Her processing power much weaker now than it should’ve been.
“What do you feel, Lal?” Data probed sweetly.
“I love you, Father.”
Data froze. He searched his database for a way to respond, a way to console her, and found there was none. So he settled for the truth. “I wish I could feel it with you.” He cooed, his eyes sincere.
Lal needed only a moment to think before deciding, “I will feel it for both of us.” She declared with such certainty that Data couldn’t help but believe her. “Thank you for my life.” She smiled sweetly at her father, her voice beginning to waver as she finally started to shut down. “Flirting… laughter… painting, family… female,
—human…”
~
Lal suffered complete neural failure at 1300 hours.
But she was not completely gone. Not from the memories of the crew, and certainly not from the memory of her father. Her own memories and experiences would not be so easily lost as well. As his only option to preserve his daughter, Data incorporated Lal’s programs into his own. In transferring her memories to himself, she would remain an integral part of him.
While Data could now carry a piece of her with him forever, her physical body remained locked away in the lab until she could be properly stored. No one other than Data was allowed in the room, and no one except him knew the security codes to get in.
That never stopped Q, however.
Getting around the security system was exceedingly simple for someone with his I.Q. Quite frankly, Data might as well have not even locked the door in the first place, but Q wasn’t focused on that fact. He just wanted to have one last good look at her.
He felt perplexed by the degree with which Lal’s death affected him. Baffled by the empty feeling in his heart. It was a feeling he’d felt before. One that used to be oh so easy to repress to the point of nonexistence. Now he had no choice but to feel it. Not that he’d ever admit it. He tried not to think about it too hard. Instead, he gave Lal his full attention, so much so that he almost didn’t hear the sound of the lab door hissing open behind him. Q whirled around to find his own sons standing in the doorway. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who could jailbreak the Enterprise's lesser security measures.
“What are you doing here?” Q asked with faux nonchalance.
Q Junior ushered the younger boy into the lab and stood beside their father. “We could ask you the same.”
Q returned his gaze to the deactivated android in front of them. “I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.” He responded after a beat of contemplative silence.
“Neither did we.” Trelane’s voice was so small and he refused to look at him. It made a pang of guilt shoot through Q that made his chest tighten uncomfortably. He had just been trying to protect his boys, (Trelane mostly,) from the trauma of seeing their first real death. Death tended to mean very little to beings who could cheat it with the snap of a finger. Beings who could never die themselves. The concept of death became petrifying once that power was stripped from you. He could at least admit that. In doing so, he wondered idly if it was really them he was trying to protect.
A small sniff abruptly tore Q from his thoughts. It was so soft he almost missed it, but it seemed to echo in the dark room. “Trelane?...Are you crying??”
Trelane shook his head vigorously. “No.” Blustered the boy. His shoulders sagged as he tried to calm himself down enough to give a proper reply. “Mother and Father always said we’re not to cry.” He sniffled, trying to put on his best brave face for his father and brother.
He snapped his head up at the sound of Q’s harsh scoff. “Your parents were a couple of pompous, putrid, balls of glowing green gas!” He sneered in distaste, “Incapable of human emotion… You are human now, you are eight…” Q locked eyes with his still newly adopted son. He watched the fat tears welling up in his big brown eyes, and let his heart break a little. “And they have no say over you anymore,” Q murmured comfortingly, “...cry if you feel like it.”
And so he did. He didn’t sob. He didn't wail. He just clung to Q’s side and buried his face in the fabric of his uniform and wept. Q laid a hand on the boy’s shoulder, patting it a little awkwardly. Trelane didn’t seem to mind. Q looked back up at his eldest. He looked intently at the eyes that looked so much like his own, and hoped that he understood what he was trying to convey without words. ‘That means you too.’ Junior gazed back just as intently and answered him only with a swift firm nod.
He understood, and he would be ok.
“I didn’t know her very well,” he began peering down at his little brother. “She wasn't in my class for that long, but she was pretty alright.” He smiled, ruffling the younger boy’s hair.
The little boy sniffled wetly and wiped his eyes on his cream colored sleeves. “I’m gonna miss her.” Trelane lamented behind tears just beginning to run dry.
“You know what?” Said Q as he spared one last fond look at the android who managed to touch everyone around her so profoundly in so little time. “So will I.”
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I'M BACK! Editing this took WAY too long especially after the horrible bout of writer's block I had about halfway through. This chapter was also WAY longer than I thought it would be. I tried trimming as much fat from it as possible, only keeping what I thought was absolutely necessary. And yet here we are 13,000 words later. Star Trek just happens to be very Dialogue heavy in nature. In the following chapter I plan to focus more Q and his feelings for Jean-Luc so we can get some good and propper Qcard. >;) I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it!
I’ve been away for a while cause life has been kind of hectic but I’m a little over halfway done with my next chapter of Deja Q - Squared! This one has taken me quite a while simply because I’ve had a little bit of writers block, but I’m back baby!! I can’t wait to share this next one with you all! Btw, can you guess what the next episode I’m covering will be?? 😉
I was drawing Worf for my TNG height chart and I realized I had to tackle drawing Worf’s sash and I had little to no idea how I was going to tackle it! While I could have just done a simple criss cross pattern (which there is nothing wrong with mind you I’ve seen some awesome works done with that method) but I’m extra and also lazy so I decided to make a procreate brush so I never had to do it again!! : D I’m not sure how many other people could use it but I wanted to make it accessible to everyone! If you’re interested in this brush DM me here and I’ll send you the file!! If I get more demand than I can keep up with, maybe I’ll upload it somewhere where you can simply download it.
ALSO! The brush isn’t perfect and there are still a few kinks in it so if anyone has any tips on how to make it better please let me know!
Hey everyone!! I want to thank everyone for all the positive feedback/comments on my last post. Since I just started posting my art online, all the hype has really meant a lot! Here are the refined sketches for my TNG fic lineup!! Getting everyone just right took me quite a while and I’m still not sure I got everyone 100% correct.(*cough*Guinan*cough*) I’ll post the finished project as soon as I have the final lineart and color all finished!! Thank you so much again for all the kind words they really keep me going!!💕
s t a r t r e k t h e n e x t g e n e r a t i o n created by gene roddenberry Captain Jean Luc Picard as Locutus of Borg [the best of both worlds, part ii, s4ep1]
Trans day of every tabloid shuts the fuck up about us forever. Trans day of let us have our healthcare and leave us the fuck alone. Trans day of tearing down the panopticon. Trans day of let us control the narrative instead of deferring to some cis sexologist's hallucination.
I Wanted to practice drawing the TNG cast for my fic and I kind of went a bit overboard and drew an entire character lineup, that way I can draw them more consistently. This is just what I have so far, but I’m so excited to post it once I’m finished! 🥰✨
