Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster
Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster – Body-Building Sorcerer Archetype, inspired by Flex Mentallo, Big McLarge-Huge and God Hand, based upon the Muscular Puncher, and with hugest of thanks to a super-cool friend for both edits and inspiration.
After years of eldritch exercises, building upon a dangerous heritage of inborn arcana and impenetrable willpower, a Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster’s body becomes a corded thing of impossible geometry and hideous strength; within their lean, towering and zero-fat forms, superhuman muscles speak to each other across the span of blood through esoteric and occult flexes, engraving arcane sigils onto their very sinew.
What a mundane enchanter accomplishes with voice, study and concentration, the Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster does through sheer ripped, jacked and swole-up hyper-kinetics. Their herculean exertions and Olympian movements are physical incantations knitted through and behind the fabric of shattered, awed and humbled space-time.
Born better and pushed to the limit; well-oiled and protein-enhanced; focused hard-bodies in possession of secret exercise-manuals detailing push-ups man was not meant to know, the Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster stores inhuman, inexplicable and incomprehensible power within his body exactly like winding up the clockwork inside a toy.
And by punching, he releases it.
Freak-Punching Muscle-Monsters often come from secret beach-side gymnasiums, otherworldly fitness-centers and dark weight-rooms dedicated to Nyarlathotep, journeying forth to travel the cosmos and learn the Nine Forbidden Punches, said to combine into the Apocalypse Combo, a force which could doom the universe … or save it.
Punching (Ex): At 1st level, a Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster gains Improved Unarmed Strike as a bonus feat. In addition, he gains the unarmed strike monk ability, treating his monk level as half his sorcerer level (minimum 1) for calculating his unarmed strike damage.
This replaces the sorcerer’s normal proficiency with all simple weapons.
Uncanny Flexing (Su): At first level, a Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster gains Eschew Materials as a bonus feat, as normal, and may further cast all spells without using verbal components; he casts all spells simply by benefit of his perfectly-calculated flexing, punching, oiling and posing. A Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster suffers twice the normal arcane spell failure chance as other arcane casters; for this reason, most wear as little as possible.
Arcane Beefcake: A Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster uses Constitution instead of Charisma when determining the highest level of spells he can cast, his spell save DCs, the number of spells he knows, and any class abilities or effects related to an ability score.
This ability replaces bloodline arcana.
Reverse Mind over Matter: At 15th and 20th level, a Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster gains a bonus feat. At each such opportunity, he can choose a metamagic feat or an Arcane Discovery, using his Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster level in place of a wizard level.
Limited Spells: A Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster chooses his spells from the magus spell-list, rather than from the sorcerer/wizard spell-list; he may also freely select spells from the bloodrager spell-list. A Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster never gains or learns spells of 7th level or higher, but may freely use Metamagic feats to fill those spell slots or may select spells of a lower level, as normal.
In addition, the limitation of a Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster‘s power lies at the tip of his knuckles; he is entirely limited to effects that could be delivered through a reality-warping punch or things that a person could conceivably do with the magic muscles inside their body. The range of all spells which affect another character – or otherwise allow for a saving throw – is reduced to 5 ft. when cast by a Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster.
The area of effect, however, is not limited in this way.
Thus, the Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster may cast detect magic by squinting very hard and tensing his pectorals in a dimension-rending way, or he may cast false life by throwing Blue Steel and making his abs ripple in unholy accordance with antediluvian prophecies, but a fireball cast by the Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster – the result of a near-relativistic-speed punch, thrown so hard into empty space that it causes oxygen to fuse and then explode around his fist – detonates in an adjacent square.
Similarly, he could break an object by punching it or hit someone so hard – yet so subtly – that they project a vision of hell within 50 ft.
At his highest level of ability, of course, the Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster may disintegrate opponents with his fists or flex into a true form of the dragon.
The GM is the final arbiter of what spells have a limited range when cast by the Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster, and the GM may likewise freely prohibit the use of lame and inappropriate spells such as mount.
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