Before bidding farewell to this beautiful world, she looked back towards the future. Light bathes the world, as people welcome rebirth through their tears. No more regrets, no more goodbyes. All will meet, embrace, and grow until their lives become one with the cosmos. Yes, these are the days to come that the Remembrance will never get to experience firsthand.
I heard that the radiance of the stars is something long past. Only after traversing across endless time can their bygone shine be delivered. And so, their past and future intertwine, eventually returning to the present.
contents: wc 1.2k. takes place post-amphoreus. hurt/comfort; mainly wordvomit. just an exercise to get me back into writing
The dock is uncomfortable.
This is, selfishly, your first thought when you find your spot next to Phainon. The bumps of the nailheads along wood that has not been sanded propely would turn most away, but he sits anyway, as if it's made a spot for him, and he's never left it. In many ways, you wish that he never had to.
Phainon looks over at you, and his pupils dialate, warm sun expanding against the endless sky. You know that thereafter he will be your second, third, and fourth thoughts.
"Knew I'd find you here." You grin.
He laughs, and it's strange, strange to hear it once more, before it is relieving. There was a short stretch of time in which you worried you'd never hear him laugh again, that the sun would set and let you shiver in the dark. But he'd always burn on for you, in the end.
You think that might worry you even more. This easy laughter is just that; too easy. Phainon is beautiful and brave and tender and sincere, everything and nothing, and this is how you know he can also be a liar.
"Was I too obvious? If we're not careful, we might have Mydei pestering us soon enough." He inches a hand out to your side, glancing to the sea as he speaks, and you intertwine your fingers.
Rolling your eyes, he elicits laughter, and you damn him for being so disarming. "Really? Aren't you always pestering him, actually? It seems to me he manages to flip your bait back onto you, more than you actually manage to bother him."
He narrows his eyes at this, frowning. "Aren't you supposed to be in my corner? See, this is how I know he's bothering us— he's turning you against me without being here!"
His fingers dive for your sides and you quiet a shriek, flinching at your own ticklishness. You recognize what the brief grab really wants to ask and as he starts to inch his hands back to his sides, you hold them with your own.
Phainon exhales, smile slipping, the simple act too simple to make into a shield for himself, and he must understand that you understand because he's silent for a beat after. It's one you're grateful for, because he steels himself and smiles again.
"How was your day?" He bids, polite and simple. You raise an unimpressed brow at such small talk. "Come on now, is it so wrong to want to know how my beloved is doing?"
Beloved. Even with pretenses upheld, the word still rings true, his voice slipping when he says it, unable to hide the weight of the word. It makes your heart flutter, so you let his questioning slide for now.
"Fine, good. I bought us some groceries…maybe splurged on a few trinkets. There was this sun catcher I found, you'll have to see it when it's brighter out. It's beautiful, you know?"
It made me think of you, you don't say.
He nods, then narrows his eyes. "Did you go antique hunting without me?"
"Never! This one's brand new. I wanted to make sure it was as bright as possible."
"Trying to blind me, then?" His voice runs accusatory, and his hands torment your sides once more, but this time they don't try to pull away after you giggle.
"Your accusations wound me, y'know," you huff. "If there's one thing I never want, it's to hurt you. I'd sooner take the fall in your stead."
Phainon's expression hardens, something like worry etching itself onto his face, although you know that it never truly left. When he speaks, the words run soft like the waves lapping against the dock, a barely concealed storm hiding under the water.
"I can't allow that, can I? I won't allow it, not…" Not ever again, goes unsaid. He swallows, and shudders out a laugh.
"I came to understand my responsibilities long ago. Ensuring your safety is one of them. Even if I burn up and fall apart, I know that this is my role to play, if it comes to you. I've never wanted anything else." Phainon makes eye contact when he says it, but his gaze really feels as though it's looking through yours. You brush your thumb over his cheek, squeezing, and are rewarded with the full weight of his gaze. He swallows.
You present a gentle smile.
"I've never wanted anything but your happiness," you offer.
His breath hitches, pained. Even as you undo him with every word, he tries to hold strong and stubborn. "I know. But you don't— you don't understand, what happens when I'm selfish. Or when I'm not selfless enough. It's what's gotten us to here, today. I can't just turn away now."
Herein lies the problem; you also know of, at least, the torment he and even others suffer when he is so endlessly compassionate. He burns up with it, until you're left to find nothing but charred ash.
You wonder in this instant how many times you have died at his blade, a cost born of his hopes to be selfless enough to one day drag in peace. Even if peace means he will catch flame, and burn until he is naught but still-warm embers.
The idea goes unsaid, but it echoes in your mind. Such a question would make him turn away, but you find it only makes you want to draw him in closer.
"You're not turning away. I'm right here. Even if more things come, I will find you." You trace down his throat, stopping at his collarbones. "I always did, right?"
Phainon's mouth opens, but it is the only sound out of him, words ash on his tongue. For all of his famed debates, he was never quite good at arguing with you.
"We're here today. And I'm safe, even when you haven't been by my side all day, even when you're torn between what you need to do," you continue. "So I'll always wait, for you to return, and for you to just be a bit more selfish. I can wait through everything, because it's you I've always wanted, and nothing more."
Your fingers drift down, to around his waist, and in the same breath you press your head to his chest. To remind him that someone wishes to hear the beating of his own heart.
"Tomorrow, you can splurge on antiques. And pair two decorations together in an ugly color combination, to drive me crazy because I know you've learned better." It's a merciful shift, because you've noticed the tears barely formed in his eyes.
Phainon laughs, nervous, but real. "Do you think so low of me?"
"Yes. You're not as glorious as you seem, Phainon of Aedes Elysiae. You're lucky you're wonderful enough to keep me coming back.
He smiles, arms reaching around you. "Is it so bad that I want you to stay?" You catch the tinges of nervousness there, still seeking confirmation.
Bringing up a hand to stroke his hair, your heart bursts at the seams with a love you can't quite hide.
"No. It isn't bad at all."
a/n: i'm sorry this is such a messs...i've been in such a block because of my perfectionism that i haven't been writing. figured it was about time i at least get something out lmao
i have an ao3 account i plan on eventually transferring my works to, although i don't know how i'm going about that yet. also where i plan to post chaptered works before they're complete (i'll move them here after they're done), so if any of you have interest in a childe fic i'm working on that'll be there as well :)
I decided to do something ambitious during my studies. And she came up with the idea to combine the technique of cyanotype and application. Also, use gold and red floss threads as a decoration
I will post videos and photos with the stages of work
Who knows. If everything works out, then maybe I'll make a series of pennants for all the demigods 😉
izzy806
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gracieabrams
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