a starry soul

give me darkness, i'll give you galaxies

[astralhippie]

I’m Ready Now

I’ve been looking through my Tumblr. All the writing I've done, all the soul within my words. It breaks my heart that almost every one of my posts was about my abuser. If you are going through something similar, I see you. I hear you. You are not alone. It has taken me five years to break the surface of my own pain. I might be finally ready to share my story. 

[astralhippie]

What Is Therapy?

I have always thought of myself as having baggage. I thought therapy would be setting my bags down. Little did I know, therapy is opening every suitcase and seeing what’s inside. Pull out every article, try them on. Do they still fit?

[astralhippie]

Everyone has their own path, mine just happened to be through fire.

[astralhippie]

I am a rose yearning for the life of a sunflower.

[astralhippie]

My Abusive Relationship

And when she realized that he was not her happy ending, she had a feeling. This feeling with no words, no description. She melted, and her heart broke when she realized that it wasn’t sadness.

[astralhippie]

And when she realized that he was not her happy ending, she walked the fuck away.

She’s happy now.

[astralhippie]

Dear Dad,

I was never proud of you. I was embarrassed. Lonely. Betrayed. Hungry. I hated the little girl’s skin you zipped me up in, the mold you shoved me into. You carved me up like that turkey on thanksgiving you never touched. You were nothing, but I became something by surviving you.

You were something to endure, not cherish. My greatest victory was living through the tsunami of you.

[astralhippie]

Move up, move on, or move over.

[astralhippie]

It is a priviledge to be loved.

despite it all

[astralhippie]

stuck between “I’m sorry” and “I don’t owe you anything”

Conflicted

[astralhippie]

It is easy to begin and easier to end, but filling the distance between the two is the real challenge.

The thing middles are made of

[astralhippie]

As I wrapped my arms around your breaking body, I realized that there are different kinds of pain. As I held your pieces in place, I could see that heartbreak looks different from the outside.

When she shatters, she impales.

[astralhippie]

Sometimes, loving you makes me realize why people run away.

And yet I stay.

[astralhippie]

“Why do I feel so heavy?” she breathed.

His answer was simple.

“Gold is not weightless.”

[astralhippie]

I leave a trail of broken things. Not to trace my steps back, but to warn others what lies ahead.

Hansel and Gretel

[astralhippie]

My silence is a hurricane.

-storm warning

[astralhippie]

They tell you to look forward at the future rather than dwell in the past. But why climb the mountain if not to admire the view?

[astralhippie]

I think that sometimes we break our own hearts, and focus so hard on the cracks that we forget about the pieces.