Stubborn TW! @astraystarway - Tumblr Blog

Favorite diet: fasting

Favorite work out: orgasms

Miss her so fkn much y-y

Whenever I see a picture of someone eating happily, cant help thinking they're so fake and inside their heads they're worried about cals.

I just told the girl I love (but we're not girlfriends anymore) that I'm going to spend most of my free time recovering from depresion, so I could not be around. And I'll do it eventually. But right now what I need is to stay away some time to cry the hell out of me, before I start thinking about going back to therapy because I've being denying that ours is dead for some time and I need to get used to the idea first. I know being friends with someone I haven't get over yet, wasn't a good plan, but it feels nice to have her in my life. But during this period of time, keeping in touch with her and perhaps keeping alive an ilusion knowing ours is not posible, actually, may have being making it all worse. I don't blame anybody, things just happen, we bouth make our own decisions. But I know she would blame herself and that'll be unfair, so I keep this thoughts from her.

Is really hard to take this step, but I'm sure I can't handle the situation with her anymore while I try to manage all the problems in my life. So I'm doing what I can, despite it hurts.

#sad #broken

I think, soon, I'll run out of friends :)

Love when ppl doesn't text back inmediatly bc it allows me to ignore them for a week or so.

black-coffee-and-boness

my parents really should not have been parents omfg

Day 10 restricting.

I binge today 🙂. I ate dessert, and I'd already had a nutritious meal for lunch so I really didn't need it and I feel guilty af. Also, I'm worried because, I couldn't finish the portion, even when it wasn't really that much. I know it was an extremely sweet dessert, but I was craving sugar, and even so I couldn't finish bc I felt like I was going either to throw up or pass out. So in that moment, I was concern, happy I couldn't finish the plate, and dealing with the physical feelings at same time. I guess that going from zero sugar during the week to put a whole lot of sugar right into my mouth wasn't the best idea. But what really makes me worry is the idea of feeling like this often.

To make matters worse, besides I know that today I ate enough to be ok if I fast for the next two days, it's getting harder, and the only thing I have in mind is to get my large cup of coffe or tea in the mornings, as that was what got me through the first days, and stick to my goal.

The good thing is that I didn't purge afterwards. I feel the temptation to do it, but I manage no to. I feel like I had to deal with the consecuences and the nausea for myself. Hope I learned.

Starting a new job on today and I will probably do better this week.

lowlevelofserotonin

earthtodes

I open and close this app like it’s the fucking fridge

I fucked up today. I ate like 2 meals. But it seems like I'm still motivated somehow. Probably because I knew sooner or latter it was going to happen, and I manage to resist more than I thought I could.

Other thing, I'm starting to get worried about the downsides of restricting. I don't remember when was the last time that I did it this way, but I'm sure I was unaware of all the issues that this thing brings with. I was probably 13 yo so, I didn't knew nothing bout "the healthy way".

Anyhow I can't stop, not right now, even when I know I can't hold this for a long period of time. I'm struggling with a bunch of other problems and somehow this is keeping me safe.

I'm also going to therapy and I'm trying to figure out if I should talk to my therapist about my problems with food. I will eventually, because if it's my problem should be also hers lol. I mean, she can give me some advice on this and maybe I could feel better.

If there's help, why souldn't I accept it?

Hope I can find the words to speak out soon.

#c🦋 #recovery

2o5

i wanna be abused but in like a healthy way

idk how to explain what i mean here

shrink-till-skinny

❗️‼️ PSA: INFO IN THIS PIC IS FALSE ‼️❗️

Well, very misleading, at least.

‼️REBLOG TO SAVE LIVES‼️ ‼️DO NOT DELETE THIS TEXT‼️ ‼️THIS PIC IS DANGEROUS WITHOUT IT‼️

You can die from cardiac arrest at ANY BMI. Obese, overweight, normal, underweight, AND severely underweight. ANY weight.

Do you know how many eating disorder sufferers, who outwardly appear fine, DIE from going into cardiac arrest? A LOT.

Here’s one thing, for example. Ever heard of electrolytes? You know, stuff like potassium? Sodium? Calcium? Magnesium? Yeah. Your heart relies on a certain balance of electrolytes to function properly. If the levels are too low, or high, it can throw off the electrical impulses within the heart and cause arrhythmias, AKA you can DIE.

One reason why staying hydrated is so important! Dehydration messes up your electrolytes! Working out… Not eating/drinking enough… PURGING… All contribute to dehydration. (With that being said, don’t drink too much water either, as that messes with levels too.)

Simply google something like “eating disorders and cardiac arrest” and read that shit.

No matter what size you are, if you have an eating disorder, you are NOT protected from death.

I repeat…

NO MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE, IF YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER, YOU ARE NOT PROTECTED FROM DEATH!!!

“If you want to stay alive, stay over 15.” ??? Give me a damn break. How about this— if you want to stay alive, get HELP before it’s too late!

PLEASE SEEK HELP IF YOU HAVE ONE, OR IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE ONE.

‼️REBLOG TO SAVE LIVES‼️ ‼️DO NOT DELETE THIS TEXT‼️ ‼️THIS PIC IS DANGEROUS WITHOUT IT‼️

Since some people are being so goddamn annoying and think I don’t understand that being severely underweight dramatically increases the chances of this happening— MY POINT IS THAT THE POST IMPLIES YOU ARE NOT IN DANGER UNTIL YOU’RE THAT THIN

ohyeah

Reblog this to prove your blog was made before the February 2022 tumblr resurgence

thesunwillriseforus

Meanspo

Look at you, eating. Being healthy. Taking care of yourself. How could you ever think you deserved to starve? It’s fucking disgusting that you would believe for a second that you aren’t beautiful, because you are, for god’s sake. You know what? I hope you get better, goddammit. You are so fucking beautiful it makes me wanna vomit flowers and rainbows. Love yourself, bitch. Eat! Be healthy! you fucking deserve to feel better and love yourself for who you are. I can’t even believe that a person as perfect as you would do this to yourself. It makes me sick. It makes me want to fucking hug you so tight that you feel better. So go ahead, feed yourself. And you know what, eat a fucking cake. Treat yourself, bitch. You deserve it. I don’t care what you did to think you deserve this, but you don’t. YOU. ARE. PERFECT. For fuck’s sake, I love you and you deserve the fucking world.