that was her name. she didn’t realize it at first, but she froze up, her muscles locked, the flames were quickly smothered to a halt, absorbed back into her claws, back into the shadows. for a moment the silver in her eyes flashed, a spark of ironic humanity, a sign she was still there. she knew that name. that was her name, designated to her not by a trainer, not by saga or her mother or anyone else; it was a name she chose herself, her entire identity.
she knew that name. for a moment, she stopped, though she still sat upon his torso, though her hands still dug into the soft skin at the nape of his neck, she looked down upon him, and a look of recognition flooded those facial features she could still express herself with. her eyes had gone black again, though her brows furrowed, her jaw dropped slightly agape. she knew his smell, knew his voice. this was taran.
the familiarity was all she got from the call, however. it would take more than just a call of her name to break her from her stupor when her orders were to kill, to subdue strong opponents. unlocked memories of her past only further confirmed her next choice of action. her eyes flashed, wildly, and she rolled her weight back towards his thighs, returned her chokehold to his neck, but lifted the top half of his torso via that grip, only to remove one hand from his neck to dig her claws into his temples, then the other hand was removed, placed in a bracing position at the back of his neck now, at the base, close to his shoulders.
she did not realize what was happening. did not realize that some locked away part of herself screamed for the violence to cease. though her expression was cold and detached, though she had no emotions to connect to the situation, oily black tears welled up in the bottom of her eyes, dribbled down her face.
the small amount of individual control that sliver of herself could grasp over her own body as she struggled against herself would make the kill quick and painless. her hands began to shake, her body began to twitch and convulse as the tears fell, as she braced a palm against his neck and in the fraction of a second threw her weight against him again and palmed at his head at an angle that stressed against his still-raised torso. she let out a long whine and the shadows leaking from her body turned from a dull purple to a bright, angry red.
she entered hyper mode as she struggled against herself, stopped a sliver shy of enough force to snap his neck before she let out a strained howling whine and pushed the rest of the way, pushed and twisted hard enough in a way that would quickly drain the life from his eyes, that would allow her to go on her rampage alone and unimpeded.
the tears dropped again. as the hyper mode took over, the feelings of anger and confusion were tinged with remorse.