Aszlan's Tumblr

It's like Aslan but with a z in it

[geckyjuno]

my bedsheet is pregnant and it's. the rest of my laundry

[muppetyaoi]

another one for the collection, gang.

[raindropsonglasss]

[only-cat-memes]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[diosapate]

[veronicaleighauthor]

[desert-love]

[a-book-of-creatures]

When you see an adolescent saguaro 👍

[exxos-von-steamboldt]

[delicatefury]

I just googled this and… yes, it’s absolutely real.

And there are so many articles and videos and discussions. Like, the scientific community is buzzing about this.

So much research will have to be redone because the data was absolutely compromised, off by orders of magnitude, by using standard lab gloves.

The world is probably not horrifically contaminated by microplastics. Sterile laboratories, however, are contaminated by latex and nitrile gloves.

Thank God someone bothered to check.

[kiralamouse]

Since I hate having to do my own searches to verify stuff, here’s a Science Daily link and the journal article it cites for any similarly lazy-but-conscientious people after me. (And the University of Michigan press release, for what it’s worth.)

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

i don’t know what you’re going through but i’m sending you love nonetheless. feel better soon.

[alittlevillainy]

[beardedmrbean]

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[homunculus-argument]

"If you accept any food from the fae, they shall never let you go" is a human belief. The fair folk stand by the principle that if you feed 'em, you gotta keep 'em. If wildlife learns to rely on you for food, you have already fucked up, and you can't just stop feeding them cold turkey. That human is your responsibility now. Because you left your peach cobbler unsupervised.

[ampervadasz]

[drtanner]

Pure genius on display here, lads.

[butterflypeaflowertea]

feeling this old mitski tweet so hard lately

[whatbigotspost]

Yes, everything is bad, I know. But that's why we need shit like laughter still. Who are these silly fools on this site that take small lighthearted joke posts + reblog just to make up all kinds of very very serious bad things that weren't there...?

Sometimes we just gotta laugh, dum dums. Humor is life saving. Even gallows humor is preferable to me over 100% serious cynic shit all the time.

[phinarei]

Humor and joy!

There's a reason that the things banned in Gaza includes stuff like birthday candles and all the other trappings of celebration.

There's a reason that the funniest and most joyfully exuberant groups of people are some of the most oppressed.

Humor and joy get you through. They're a super power gifted to people who have had to live through hell. And locking it all out, dismissing moments of laughter as shallow or frivolous, is the exact tool that fascists use to kill any resistance.

Because if you can laugh, even darkly, you still have hope. Laughter lets you carry a heavier load and carry it farther than the people trying to kill you will ever be able to comprehend.

Which is why I'm a funny bitch in real life. I'd say I'm also less pedantic in real life, but, um... Not so much. It's just less annoying to deal with in real life because my delivery is KILLER.

[brainstreams]