damn does it feel good to be back writing! Not sure how long Iโll be sticking around this time but letโs ride this wave together yโall ๐ค
I am going to try my best to work on my drafts to have pieces published next week! I am currently in the process of applying for new jobs and traveling, so please be patient with me.
"Used to be a player boy" meets the "haven't had a first kiss" girl
Synopsis: Was he an angel or a devil in disguise? Joshua's reputation met more people than Joshua himself. He was the guy who left behind a trail of broken hearts wherever he went. His sweet demeanor was seen as anything but sweet.
Pairing: College Crush!Joshua Hong x reader
Genre: first encounter, strangers to love interest
Word Count: 2.1k
Inspired byย @aaniagย - thanks for tagging me inย this postย โก did you really think I'd forget about this series a year later? (maybe I did but better late than never!)
First Encounters Mini Series:
#1:
#2:
#3: Joshua
#4: Wonwoo
#5:ย Jeonghan
#6:
#7:
#8:ย Dino
College was all about expanding your bounds and finding your limits. Dating was all about putting yourself out there and finding out what you like. Naturally, you were bound to date in college.
Like other guys, Joshua had dabbled in the dating. If there was a girl that peaked his interest, he would often ask her to coffee after class or to go studying at the library. He also, like anyone else, was just trying to figure out what he wanted in a potential partner. His mother encouraged just going on a bunch of first dates to meet different people, go on different types of dates, and dive deeper into his emotional side.
However, what he considered to be casual dating translated to "man whore" and "player" to the student body. He began to gain the reputation of a serial dater as people spotted him around campus with a new face at least once or twice a week. Joshua, for the most part, was able to shrug off the false narrative people tried to portray onto him.
If anything, his first dates might've led to a second date or maybe a month long rendezvous. Yet, everyone outside of his bubble thought he was stringing girls along for fun. If someone was willing to believe into a rumor then it was simply someone Joshua didn't want to be around. He was a people person, for sure, but not one to want to be surrounded by negative people. From a young age, Joshua knew everyone has their own story. He wanted to learn from the people around him, and be able to form his own judgements and opinions of people and things. And if someone wasn't willing to give the same respect, why waste his energy?
Unfortunately, it was becoming too common that his female classmates wanted to see how far they could go with him. They wanted to have the bragging rights of ๐ ๐ด๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ต ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐๐ฐ๐ด๐ฉ๐ถ๐ข! ๐๐ถ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ช๐จ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ด. or ๐๐ฐ๐ด๐ฉ๐ถ๐ข ๐ต๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฎ๐ฆ. ๐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ฉ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ด๐ข๐ช๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ!
The moment Joshua caught wind of what was happening, he would break things off with the woman he was seeing.
And just like everyone else, Joshua has had his share of heartbreak. Nobody likes being used in such a manner, especially when people believe in a false illusion. Joshua prided himself on his perception of himself - a gentleman, a mother's son, a dedicated student. He just wanted the chance to prove others wrong.
It was a late August day. Campus was back to buzzing with life, both with new energy and the faces of dear friends. It was orientation week, which meant the freshman were here while the older students were moving back. Joshua had been here all summer. He had gotten a job with the local newspaper. It was the perfect scenario where he gained work experience but could also afford his off campus apartment.
During the school year, Joshua helped manage and edit for the university's paper. And with the excitement of a new school year, he was going to help cover freshman move-in. In order to take on that task, Joshua was in desperate need of coffee.
As he approached the door of the coffee shop, he could hear giggling and whispering from over his shoulders. From one glance, he could tell it was a group of female students who recognized him.
While the women behind him began to giggle in unison, Joshua's blood began to boil. You would think with another year that he would be freed from the rumors, but they seemed to come back stronger every single year. Even though Joshua wanted to whip his head around, to catch them off guard, he couldn't bring himself to do it. His mother's voice echoed in his head, reminding him that you treat others the way you want to be treated.
Being the gentleman she raised him to be, he still opened the door for the three women behind him. They gasped before saying "thank you" as each one passed him. All Joshua did was nod his head, putting on his signature smile. The quicker he grabbed his coffee the quicker he could get the heck out of here.
The trio made their way towards the register. Not without taking a few glances back at Joshua, of course. He has heard from his friends that they wish they got the same amount of attention that Joshua receives.
However, they didn't understand how objectified Joshua feels. How hard was it to want to be seen as a person rather than an object? Why is it that everyone calls for people to be treated the same, that women are more than objects but leave men out of the conversation?
At first, Joshua kept his eyes locked on the display board or down on his phone. He didn't want to feed into the delusions the group in front of him were trying to conceal. It was obvious though that they were trying to just be loud enough that he could hear them, but not anyone else. Joshua's eyes glanced over towards the baked goods in the display case. There was a dark chocolate croissant that seemed to be calling to him. Now, this was the only kind of attention Joshua wanted.
He came into this coffee at least two to three times a week. It was right across from the Liberal Arts building where most of his classes were held. Joshua could be considered a regular, but in a student population of approximately 48,000, wasn't everyone a regular?
It was also why the longevity of the gossip and rumors surrounding him surprised him. You would think that everyone would have moved onto the next person or rumor, but it always came back to him.
"Next?" A soft voice called out.
The change in tone caused him to be brought back to reality. That wasn't the sound of the usual guy behind the counter. Hs eyes tore away to a young female behind the counter top. 'Y/n' was written in marker on the new tag, not a name from the label maker like everyone else.
A new face.
"Sir? Are you okay?" You called out to him.
๐๐ช๐ณ. The sound of being called something other than a pet name was refreshing. Even the small possibility of you not knowing his backstory brought on a wave of euphoria that he has never experienced. Yet, Joshua didn't want to get his hopes up too much. Maybe it was just extremely good customer service?
"Yeah, I'm sorry, I got a bit distracted," Joshua apologized. "May I please have an iced americano, light on the ice? And with one of those chocolate croissant?"
You offered a gentle smile to him, nodding. Your fingers got to typing out his order onto the machine in front of you.
"Would you like that toasted today?"
"Yes please, but can I get it to go?"
"Certainly. And can I get your name for the order?"
Once again, Joshua's heart did leaps and bounds. Could this finally be everything that he has waited for?
"Joshua," he said with a smile. A genuine smile.
"That will be $10.50, please."
Your voice was soft and sweet. Not to be dramatic, but he would compare it to a breeze on a humid day. You brought in a wave of relief that Joshua has not experienced for a long time.
His hand reached back to pull out his debt card. However, as he pulled the wallet from his back pocket, he took a glance behind him. There was no line behind himself. Perfect. He moved the plastic card near the card reader, but didn't tap quite yet.
"I'm sorry, but are you new here? I haven't seen you before, and I come in almost every week."
Your eyes widened a bit in surprise. You could also feel your cheeks start to heat up. ๐๐ฉ ๐ฏ๐ฐ. ๐๐ช๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ธ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ? You noticed the way he was somewhat eyeing you during your short exchange. Maybe you forgot something?
Joshua felt a tinge of guilt for catching you off guard. He didn't mean to put you on the spot or embarrass you. If only you knew how turned upside down his world has been.
"Um yeah. This is my first week. I just transferred from out of state," you admitted.
"Well," he said, taking a pause to glance at your name tag again. "Y/n, it is nice to meet you."
In a shift movement, Joshua tapped his card before offering you another gentle smile. His finger tapped on the tip amount and he did a quick signature, most likely scribbles like other customers. "Welcome to UCLA," he said. He took a step towards the end of the barista counter where a large "pick up here" sign was hung.
"Thank you, Joshua. I hope you have a great day."
You looked down to print out the receipt before tossing it in the trash. With no customers behind Joshua, you made quick work to clean around the register. Your boss described this as a low stakes job, a usual position with high turnover rate due to graduation and class requirements. However, what appealed to you was the flexibility that you could commit to as low as 15 hours per week. It was a great deal to make some cash but still have ample study time.
"Oh my god, y/n! Do you even know who that was?" A voice called out behind you.
To your left, one of you coworkers popped up behind you. You could see her eyes lingering on Joshua's butt which made you feel uncomfortable. Didn't she have any respect for him? While you didn't know him at all, you knew that unwanted stares were never appreciated or reciprocated.
After all, your mother always held the standard that you treat others the way you want to be treated.
"If I can recall his name is Joshua?"
"Yeah but that's THE Joshua Hong. He's the campus major hottie, at the top of everyone's fuck list."
๐๐ถ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ช๐ด๐ต? The sheer idea of such a concept made your stomach churn.
You never considered yourself a prude. However, it was clear that you were not as quite as experienced or well-versed in sex culture of your new environment. You more so preferred to wait for the right person, to hold a standard for yourself and partners. That includes the fact you haven't had your first kiss yet either.
The Princess Diaries did set a pretty good standard of what the first kiss should be like! You wanted the pop of the heel moment.
"And, y/n, babes, he just smiled at you. And keeps looking over at you!" You co-worker squealed.
You rolled your eyes playfully before looking over at her. An eyebrow raised as you looked at her. You can't lie. It was quite amusing to see her reaction especially as you doubt she knows Joshua Hong besides that notion.
What mattered to you when you met people was how they treated you. And just by your short introduction to Joshua, he seemed like a nice guy.
"Come on. He's just a guy like we're just girls," you tried rationalizing. "And we have a whole student body to serve coffee to."
On cue, the bronze bell above the door rung to alert of new customers. From beside you, your coworker let out of a huff. "It's always fun to look, y/n. Don't be so serious," she grumbled before disappearing to her post.
From Joshua's position he could overhear the conversation you two had. He won't deny that he was looking at you. There was something about you that pulled him in. Maybe it was the way your hair framed your face, or the way your eyes shined whenever you spoke. The sunlight coming in from the windows enhancing the eye color.
However, what he was really intrigued by was the way you defended him. You didn't know who he was, yet you didn't diminish his existence like the others. You treated him with respect. He never wanted his genuine kindness to be mistaken for other intentions, and you didn't buy into it. No matter how much your co-worker was trying to sway your opinion.
Synopsis: Life with Taehyung was like a dream. You wished you could be a viewer of your love story so you can replay moments over and over again.
Pairing: Kim Taehyung (V) x reader
Genre: established relationship, fluff, long distance
Word Count: 1.1k
"And you really jammed your finger up Jungkook's nose?" You said, trying your best to stiffle your laughter.
"Of course! He was trying to take the last Choco Pie, baby!"
The way Taehyung was looking at you sent you over the edge. His eyes were wide as if he couldn't believe you would ask such a ridiculous question. In the moment, it was a matter of life or death. Even if Jungkook was the maknae of the friend group, that shouldn't automatically mean Jungkook gets everything his way.
Hearing your laughter caused Taehyug to smile wide. He had never heard such a beautiful sound. The two of you were laying in the bed in your shared apartment. This was also his favorite time of day. It was the prime time to relax and unwind, to forget about the everyday stressors and drama happening at work. You two could escape into the bubble in your space to just focus on each other.
At the moment, your face was turning a bit pink from how hard you were laughing. The sound of your laughter was just too infectious not for him to laugh along at his own retelling. Sure, it was childish to fight over a sweet when you're entering your early 30s. Although, you prayed Taehyung would never lose the spark of his inner child.
You could describe Taehyung as a romantic gentleman. He took date nights serious, as he always went out of his way to plan and dress up for you. Taehyung also was a firm believer that you deserved fresh flowers. As soon as the bouquet is starting to wilt, he is one his way to find the next bouquet to replenish the vase. It was as if Taehyung had been written to be the star of the upcoming romance novel or movie. You didn't believe, for the longest time, that such lovers existed outside of fiction. However, every single day, Taehyung constantly proved to be real.
"Okay, that's it," Taehyung proclaimed. "I will really give you something to laugh about."
Your laughing stopped for a second. Your chest was rising and falling as you tried to recapture your breathing. It felt like your heart might leap out of your chest just from the laughing fit you found yourself in.
Before you could question Taehyung, he swept into action. His hands found your sides to begin tickling you which caused you to squeal. Your body began to twist and turn a bit, trying to escape his plotting hands. The light feather like touches against your sensitive skin was too much to handle.
"T-Tae, please," you begged, gasping for air.
"Apologize for laughing at my darkest hour, sweet girl. It wasn't every nice."
Despite your body jerking around, you could tell his lower lip was slightly poking out. Oh, he was really pulling out all the stops with this one. You were usually one to put up a bigger fit, but you just couldn't find the strength to continue on.
"Okay, okay, baby. I'm so sorry!"
Instantly, Taehyung's fingers stopped moving against your sides. Instead, he slipped his arms completely around your waist to pull you in closer. Your chest, once again, rose and fell harshly. Your face felt hot and sweaty from Taehyung's sneak attack. He couldn't help but chuckle at your state. You were just too cute.
With your hair in flyaways, your reddened cheeks, and your shut eyes to where your eyelashes hugged the tops of your cheeks - he has never seen anyone more beautiful than you. If only you could see yourself right now.
Life felt like it was going at a million miles an hour. Taehyung felt like he was getting pulled in a million directions. Between the demands of work, taking care of himself, and trying to maintain his social life - he was worried he was letting you down. That is why Taehyung went above and beyond for your relationship. He never wanted you to doubt for a moment his intentions with you.
You constantly rallied behind him. If Taehyung had experienced a bad day at work, you were there with takeout and a glass of red wine to help him decompress. If he had an idea, he felt comfortable enough to loop you in no matter how outlandish it might seem. No matter where you were, you allowed him to just be himself. You never scolded him for acting "too young" or to "grow up already." He was able to express his moments of playfulness.
The love you showed him was the type of love he always wanted.
"What are you thinking about there, bub?" A soft voice called out.
Taehyung didn't even realize he had gotten lost in his own train of thought. He quickly blinked his eyes to find you staring up at him. Your breathing had returned to normal and your eyes were looking at him with a soft gaze. It made him feel warm and tingly on the inside. ๐๐ช๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐บ/๐ฏ ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ข๐บ?
All he could do was smile down at you. His fingers caressed your lower back as he held you close. He even gave your body a gentle squeeze. He opened his mouth to speak.
His eyes opened quickly and his body jolted in its space. His own breathing was now the one rising and falling. He quickly looked over to his right side, frowning when he didn't see your sleeping body beside him. ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ด ๐จ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ฏ?
Taehyung's head soon rolled back to rest against the pillow. He was staring up at the white ceiling. That wasn't his ceiling. His head rolled to the opposite side where there were long curtains pulled back. However, he could hear the sounds of beeping cars and multiple voices hustling about on the busy streets below.
Suddenly, Taehyung remembered where he was. San Francisco, California, USA. He had been sent to the other side of the world on a week long business trip. At the realization, Taehyung frowned. He was grateful his boss trusted him to do the deliver the sales pitch. This could help bump his position within the company. In turn, it could help him be more flexible in providing for you and granting your every wish. Yet, it meant that you two were not in the same space.
He desperately wanted to hit pause and be able to come running back to you.
"God damn it," Taehyung sighed.
If only his dream could come true. Just this one. What he would give to just hit pause on reality so he could be back at your side.
Synopsis: You were the opposite of him in every sense. You were loud and liked to make your presence known. He, on the other hand, tended to be more on the reserved side. They always say anyway that opposites attract, right?
Pairing: Yang Jeongin x fem reader
Genre: Slight protective!Jeongin, fluff, established relationship
It has only been a few months since you started dating Jeongin. However, his members believed it was time that they met you. Jeongin was quite secretive about your relationship, so Seungmin teased that he wanted to meet you to confirm whether you were real or not.
When Jeongin complained to you about the teasing, you couldn't help but laugh a little. You found their teasing endearing.
"Babe, you're supposed to be on my side!" Jeongin whined.
"And I am! If anything, it makes me more eager to meet your friends."
Dramatically, Jeongin flopped himself back onto your bed. You couldn't help but giggle as you watched adoringly from your closet. It was one of your greatest privileges to see Jeongin in such a manner. When you two got together, he was certainly more reserved. Not in a bad way either. He conducted himself in a manner to show respect towards you.
You, on the other hand, were more go with the flow. It was different for Jeongin, but in a way that helped him relax. You only needed a second to calculate your next move, always embracing the unknown. You never doubted an idea of yours or what words might come out of your mouth. It helped him feel relaxed that he could make mistakes without judgment, but also motivated him to try new things.
As you finished getting ready, he stared up at the ceiling. He was trying to predict what his group of friends might do, might say. Jeongin wasn't worried about you. If anything, he was the most excited to show you off. You're all he ever talks about, the muse for his songwriting sessions with his older hyungs. It was time for them to meet you.
However, he also knew that he might be susceptible to the most teasing in the group. Jeongin was viewed as the youngest brother. It came with the territory. There were a handful of embarrassing stories or moments his friends might be eager to spill. Or they might reveal parts of him Jeongin was not ready to reveal yet.
"You're overthinking again, honey," you called out softly.
Jeongin picked his head up to see you leaning against the doorframe of your closet. Quickly, he sat up to drink you in. You had chosen to wear a black tank top with a white trim around the neckline and shoulders. You also had a white skirt with a slit that ran up your leg. It was as if you appeared from a dream of his, but that's how he always viewed you.
"Sorry, I can't help it sometimes. Just want things to go smoothly."
"Are you nervous for me to meet your friends? We don't have to meet them all at once. Maybe one at a time?"
A soft smile slipped onto Jeongin's lips at your sweet gesture. There you go again. You always had the right words to say to ease his racing mind.
He shook his head gently. "Now why would I do that when I already want to scream from the rooftops that you're mine?"
Now it was your turn to blush. Yet, you walked over towards him confidently. He excitedly opened his arms out to you, inviting you in. You stepped in between his legs and put your hands on his face, thumbs gently caressing the tops of his cheeks. His hands rested on your hips, giving a gentle squeeze both for you and maybe for himself to remind him that this was his reality. How lucky was he?
"What's on your mind?"
"I just want this to go smoothly for you. I've never done something like this."
Your sweet boy. Ever so gently, you leaned down to kiss his head before trailing kisses down to his left cheek. "Things are always scary the first time you do something, but I'm always down for the ride," you whispered.
He could feel your lips now hovering by yours. He looked up into your eyes, which made all the nerves and thoughts leave his body. Any time he looked into your eyes he always felt reassured.
Jeongin could not stand still. In the elevator up to his shared apartment with Chris. He was probably the one out of the group who knew the most about you, but haven't quite met yet.
It was such a special occassion to have their maknae bring his girlfriend around the group. Chris was the one Jeongin confided in when he first started dating you. Of course, he has had a few crushes here and there, but the feelings he had for you were unmeasurable. You were clearly special. Seeing how Jeongin become vulnerable in expressing his feelings (alas confidentiality), Chris fully grasped this momentous occassion. However Jeongin wanted to set up tonight was the only way thing would go. Perks of being Jeongin's roommate.
The rest of the members also could see the signs of their youngest friend falling in love. His eyes were always glancing at his phone, never wanting to miss a message from you. He often would bring you up in conversation or wonder out loud, "oh y/n would like that." You had become a source of inspiration whether it be in the recording studio or in rehearsal spaces.
You squeezed Jeongin's hand three times. The poor boy was practically bouncing off the walls with nerve. Within the first couple of weeks of dating, you picked up that he relied on physical touch to pull him out of his racing thoughts. And you gave three little squeezes as a way to say 'I love you' or 'I am here,' depending on what is needed in that moment.
"What's going on in that head of yours, babe? Talk to me."
His teeth had sunk gently into his lower lip. He was staring at the silver doors, not sure if he was ready for them to open or hoping they were glued shut. Eventually, he did look over at you before he offered a gentle smile. Jeongin never wanted you to worry about him, but he recognized it came from a place of love.
"I just want this to go well. They are going to love you, for sure. I just don't know what you'll think of them. They are some of my closest friends, like brothers to me, but they can be a lot."
Your one hand remained interlocked with his. The other hand reached across to rest on his bicep lovingly. "And I am going to love each and every single one of them because they are your friends and they treat you well. Even the way you speak of them, it is clear as day they are in your inner circle for a reason."
There you go again! Knowing just the right words to say to make his shoulders relax and bring a brighter smile on his face. It was magical.
As the elevator doors opened, he leaned down to press a lingering kiss on your head. "Thank you," he whispered. He straightened up to lead you out just to stiffen when he was greeted with Seungmin and Changbin grinning at him.
"Well you're not food delivery, but you did finally deliver y/n," Seungmin smirked.
"They grow up so fast!" Changbin cooed.
Jeongin fought the urge to throw it head back, roll his eyes, and groan loudly. Not even a foot out of the elevator and it has already begun.
"Don't mind us," Seungmin began. "Since Jeongin here didn't see our delivery guy downstairs in the lobby, we will go fetch our meal for tonight. Y/n, we'll have a proper greeting as soon as you back."
Jeongin led you out of the elevator in a haste, wanting to already catch a break from the two biggest teasers (menances) in his life. Seungmin and Changbin swapped places with you. Jeongin began leading you to the door of his apartment with the remaining of the guys. However, as he walked, he could hear Changbin making kissing noises which were only silenced once the elevator moved down to the lobby.
"Well they are nice," you giggled.
"Oh baby, please do not encourage them. They thrive of seeing others enjoy my pain."
You giggled again. You were the one this time that planted a kiss on Jeongin's cheek. It was easy to feel how hot they were from the slight embarassement of getting caught giving the slightly bit of PDA. You found it charming, but knew better than to bring it up. For now, you needed ot be his support system - a role you were happy to take on.
Jeongin pulled out the keys to his unit and unlocked it. It made no sense in ringing the doorbell to his own residency. Besides, he didn't want to give ammunition to Lee Minho of all people.
"Is it our guest of honor or did you two forget something?" Minho teased. Instantly, there was the sound of four other voices laughign along.
"It is indeed the guest of honor," Jeongin announced.
Suddenly, there was the sound of rushing feet towards the entrance of the apartment. You could have sworn it was a stampede by th urgency of the five guys in the room. They all gently pushed Jeongin aside so they could greet you first. Han, Hyunjin, and Minho gave small bows towards you. Felix and Chris offered smiles, not wanting to overstep and make you uncomfortable by giving you any physical contact. Plus, they could have sworn Jeongin would rip them a new one if any of them made you feel uncomfortable.
"You guys didn't have to roll out the red carpet for me," you laughed. "But it is lovely to meet you. I've heard so much about you all from Jeonginnie."
Almost on cue, there was the round of coos coming from most of the group at your affectionate tone towards Jeongin. Jeongin looked on proudly. Of course, he was still nervous, but seeing you be proud to announce your relationship even by the slight term of endearment meant everything to him.
"May I get you a drink, y/n?" Chris offered.
"Hyung, you never offer me a drink when I come over," Han whined.
This caused you to giggle at the banter before stepping fully into the room. Your hand brushed Jeongin's as you followed Chris towards the kitchen. "Water is just fine, thank you! Do you need help cooking?"
Immediately, everyone in the room including Jeongin said 'no.' You were quick to put your hands up in surrender.
"You are our guest, y/n," Minho said. "Even though I am a perfect cook, we decided maybe doing something like takeout would be the best."
And right on cue, Changbin and Seungmin entered the room. Each had a white plastic bag in each hand. Your eyes widened in surprise. I mean, you figured the boys could eat given their routines and job demands, but you've just never seen that much takeout for one occasion.
Looking around, Jeongin felt content. The boxes of takeout were being passed around everyone at the table. All the boys were taking their time to ask you questions about yourself, wanting to get to know you on a deeper level. You certainly were going to have to get used to having all these eyes on you at one time.
However, all the guys were determined to show that they were embracing the maknae's new found relationship. They also wanted you to know they were a safe space not just for Jeongin, but for you. You were a new person to their close knit circle which they realize can be a bit intimidating. All the members were like brothers, so they didn't expect everyone to just mesh in right away. Yet, you were holding your ground.
"Excuse me," you said quickly. You squeezed Jeongin's knee affectionately before getting up from the table.
For a moment, it was silent at the table. All the boys had nodded their head to acknowledged your momentarily departure of the group. Jeongin's head had followed you as you stood up and walked towards the kitchen area. Most of the apartment that Chris and Jeongin had was an open floor concept besides the kitchen area that had a wall divider where the fridge was stored. It gave almost a private kitchen feel with a counter top for serving by the sink.
Jeongin started at you with love in his eyes. He assumed that you were heading to the fridge to get a cold beverage. You had been over a few times, very low stakes especially as Chris is often at the studio late. It really was like Jeongin had his own apartment most of the time. It allowed you to get to know his space so you could feel comfortable wherever you are with him. He wanted you to know every aspect of his life, from his job to his daily routine.
Once you had disappeared into the kitchen, he turned back around and sat up a bit straighter. His eyes widened when he turned around to see all seven eyes staring back at him. Every single one of them had wide grins on their lips.
"Yes?" Jeongin questioned.
"She's really nice, I.N," Chris mentioned. "And I'm guessing she's been here before if she's helping herself?"
His cheeks were turning a bit red. He never meant to lie to Chris about who was entering the apartment. It was just so easy to ask you to come over when he didn't have to worry about someone interrupting.
"I'm sorry, hyung," Jeongin mutter.
The rest of the group chuckled but shook their heads. It was just a relief to see Jeongin open himself up to receiving love.
"What do you guys think of her though?" Jeongin asked.
His voice was a bit low, as he could feel his heart racing. This was such an adult thing to bring your girlfriend around to your friends/family. Not that he wanted their approval. Jeongin had never been happier in his personal life than he has with you. The reality is that you are now a vital part of his life. And the members were also a vital part of his life. It was important that his circle at least knew of one another, especially for you to know who you could turn towards if Jeongin couldn't jump in right away to assist you.
"She's really sweet!"
"How did you score someone like that?"
"You two are a really good pairing. I approve!"
"Thank god you finally brought her around! I was afraid she was fake."
"You deserve to be happy, I.n! And she certainly makes you happy."
"They always grow up so fast."
"She brings out a side of you we haven't even see before."
Even with the teasing, Jeongin knew his friends were estatic about the pairing. That is all he wanted. Jeongin was basking in the glow of being in love with you, and with his friends finally meet his person.
"Really?" Was all Jeongin could say. He was just over the moon!
However, a gentle kick to the bottom of his foot brought him back to reality. His eyes glanced around across from him, seeing instantly Seungmin was looking at him. Jeongin's eyebrows were raised when there was a hard stare coming from his best friend.
Their friendship was unmatched. They could instantly tell what the other was feeling or thinkign just by a simple look. They were able to finish each other's sentences just with how interlinked they were. Right now, though, Jeongin couldn't quite read Seungmin. What could be wrong?
"Hey man, why don't you go check on y/n? It's been a while."
It was then Jeongin realized that, indeed, you haven't returned to the table. He didn't really think much of it. Maybe you had just gotten to use the restroom, or that you were answering a call on your phone. Or maybe that you were trying to remember where the glasses were? The look on Seungmin's face just screamed ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐จ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ.
There was no text or call from you. His phone was facing up at the kitchen table.
Jeongin didn't need to be told twice though.
He excused himself from the table. Half of the boys began making kissing noises to tease Jeongin. Chris glared at the rumbunctious boys which made Jeongin relax. He was normally not the type to scold his hyungs, but he didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, even if you weren't in the room. He mouthed "thank you" to Chris before finally walking towards the kitchen to search for you. That was at least a good starting spot.
His heart was racing a bit as he tried thinking of what might be going on. He wanted to get ahead of it to fix whatever problem you may be facing. Yet, he was drawing a blank. The evening was going so well, you seemed to be enjoying the food and the company.
Jeongin's mouth opened to call for you, but he instantly found you. Your back was leaning against the counter top opposite of the fridge. You stared at the Samsung fridge. Your hands were holding onto the counter, but you were rocking on your heels slightly. Jeongin's eyebrows furrowed seeing your state. He could instantly tell that your mind was racing. Did something happen? Did you get a bad text? Did one of the boys cross a line?
"Y/n?" He kept his voice soft, not wanting to startle you.
Instantly, you looked over at Jeongin. You were bite your lip. Both of your gazes had softened as you stared at each other.
"What's going on, pretty girl?" He asked. He took a small step towards you. His soul yearned to be close to you, to be able to absorb whatever distress you might be feeling.
"I'm sorry, babe. It's just-"
Jeongin's heart sank. He was fearing the worst. Was meeting his friends what drew the line in the sand? Did you not like them? Or was it becoming too much for you? Inviting you deeper into his inner circle, his career, had popped the little bubble you two created. You were now more visible in his world which he knew could be scary.
He was ready to ease whatver concerns you had. Part of him was anticipating that he needed to drop on his knees and beg for forgiveness (even if he had no idea what he was apologizing for).
"They are just so.. nice. I don't get it? Why are they being nice to me?"
The poor guy was even more confused at this point. Their kindness was making you uncomfortable?
Jeongin decided to finally close the distance between the two of you. His arms naturally outreahed to pull you in. You've always been comforted by Jeongin. His presence brought you down during your most anxious moments. What helped also ground you was feeling the firmness of his arms around you and his head against yours. Whether it was his chin resting on top of your head or cheek against your area.
This was an area you have not touched on with Jeongin. You haven't fully dived into your past relationships, where they went wrong, and concerns you've had. You've been able to fully enjoy this current relationship because, to an extent, your exes didn't matter. The amount of happiness Jeongin has brought into your life is not something you can just overlook.
Yet, you were not used to feeling this overjoyed. You were used to the other shoe dropping at some point. And with your last ex, it was his friends. They were the type of make the crude jokes that would make you uncomfortable. Your ex wouldn't acknowledg you in the room when his friends were front and center. You didn't need to be consistently loved loudly, but you at least expected to be respected. Or at least have someone stick up for you if you were not getting that respect.
"Why wouldn't they be nice to my sweet girl, hmm? You've been so kind, even laughing through some of their corny jokes and their gentle teasing of me."
"I'm not used to just consistent kindness from my boyfriend's friends. I've always been the end of the joke."
Jeongin's heart broke in realization you were getting flashbacks in the past. It was something he never expected from you. Of course, he knows that everyone goes through hard times, but you always tried to put your best foot forward. You seemed like nothing could stop your roll.
Unfortunately, tonight might have unveiled a weakness - trying to rewire your past from your past relationships.
Jeongin was more determined than ever to help uplift you. He wanted to porve that you deserve love in all forms, either from hiimself, from his friends & family, and even from yourself. While he couldn't just wipe away your past, he wanted to fill your present and future with good memories. He wanted you to feel unconditionally loved at all times.
"Thank you for confiding in me, honey. And I am sorry you have endured some hurt from past guys."
"It's not your fault, baby," you sighed.
You were starting to feel a bit guilty for causing a scene at the dinner. Jeongin was relieved that he knew the roadmap to be a better partner for you.
"We are here to lean on each other every now and then. You are constantly there for me for the early mornings and late nights. However, baby, you got to realize I am also here for you. I will always be here for you."
A gentle smile came back onto your lips. It might take a few other moments of checking in, of pulling back the curtain on the past you tried to hide. Seeing the way Jeongin responded to you in the moment, without a second thought, did show he was willing and wanting to go above and beyond for you.
"Thank you," you whispered before pressing a lingering kiss on his cheek.
Before you could say anything else, Han entered the room and gasped. It pulled you two out of the moment. Jeongin squeezed your hips as you peered over his shoulders. Han had a wide smile, and soon, 6 other heads were peering in from the doorway that connected the kitchen to the dining room. Jeongin mentally groaned.
Synopsis: Changbin undeniably had the loudest voice in the room. He was not afraid of showing off or being heard for miles; he wanted to be remembered. However, what you remember of him contrasts to popular belief.
Pairing: Seo Changbin x reader
Genre: Fluff, established relationship
Contains: mentions of alcohol & nudity! - PG 13
Word Count: 1.9k
A Leo partner is passionate, loyal, and often larger than life.
Changbin was always the loudest guy in the room. If it was a night out with the boys, you could hear him over the music playing. If it were at a sporting event, he was the loudest one cheering in the stands. And god bless your hearing because if you were on the phone with him, there is a good chance he would be shouting right into your ear (accidentally, of course).
However, everyone didn't know Changbin the way you did. He was your gentle lover. You did, indeed, his loud, energetic side. Changbin, though, always knew what you needed. Sometimes even better than yourself.
Tonight, you had accompanied Changbin out to the bars with his friends. Now, his friends were truly an extension of him. They could be just as loud or playfully tease that he had (again) 'busted their eardrums.' Just like Han, whose hands were covering his ears, and he looked much like a scared hamster.
When you went out with the boys, you never felt the need to cling to Changbin's side. You could either sit beside him, joining in on the current conversation & share a few laughs, or just focus on one of the TV screens. Even if he was currently bickering with Seungmin, his hand would find its place on your thigh. The thumb caressing the side of your knee as a silent gesture that he was grateful you were here.
Changbin was never big on PDA when it came to the two of you. The connection between the two of you was so intense yet so precious, he wanted to preserve it.
Do not be fooled. That didn't mean he never liked to show you off. For him, getting dressed up in a nice polo and khakis, or just holding your hand in public, was his way of showing affection when out and about. He was more concentrated on making sure you stayed safe, especially if walking on a busy street.
And that is another reason why you never said 'no' if you were invited out with his friends. They not only respected your relationship, but they also saw you were an extension of Changbin.
You never restrained Changbin from showing his true colors. There was never a point you told him to lower his voice or to stop acting out. If something was bothering you, of course, you always spoke up to him.
And Changbin could tell what effort you put into your relationship. Even if you had a long stresful day at work, if Changbin asked you to accompany him, you would come along. While that might mean wrapping up the night early, Changbin was just content having you there. Equally, you loved to see the bright smile on his face when you entered the room.
Today was an example of one of those long working days. Your shoulders felt heavy from sitting at your desk, both typing up documents and taking notes during numerous meetings. Your eyes were starting to feel heavy, both from exhaustion and the beers Changbin bought for you.
Sensing your fatigue, Changbin smiled before standing up. That immediately caused your eyes to widen in surprise, taken aback by the surprise motion from your significant other.
"I think it's time to call it a night, guys. Next round on me, yeah? Hyunjin, will you send me a Venmo request for my share?"
Changbin stood behind you, ready to assist you out of your seat. You furrowed your eyebrows for a second, almost trying to communicate with him - ๐ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ข๐บ, ๐ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ฆ.
There was no use in arguing with him. When he had a vision, he was determined to reach it one way or another. That included how he took care of you. Not that he believed he knew better than you, but just that he tried to be one step ahead of you. Changbin lived to provide you with the best life possible.
If you wanted to stay, Changbin wouldn't argue. He supported any motive or idea you had, as long as you were safe and happy.
However, seeing him standing behind you, you wanted nothing more than to lie next to him in bed. You could already feel the warmth of his chest against your cheek, which filled your body with excitement.
Slowly, you got up. Immediately, Changbin's hand was resting on your lower back. Like with your knee, his thumb was caressing ever so gently. It was a gesture that didn't need to be seen by others. His affectionate nature was reserved for you.
"I'm sorry, guys. It was just a long day at work today, and I fear it's going to be a longer week."
"Do not need to worry, y/n. We are just happy to see you," Chris said with his usual warm smile.
"Yeah, we got to see you, so really thank you for coming out. I guess it was alright to see you too, Bin," Seungmin teased.
Changbin refrained from giving a response. If he opened his mouth, they might be stuck at that bar all evening. His flower was getting tired, so he just wanted to get you both on the train back to your neighborhood.
A chorus of 'goodbyes' and 'see y'all laters' followed you both as you exited the bar. It was still a bit muggy for late July in the city. Your arms wrapped around Changbin's arm. His phone in his other hand as he was looking at train times. Whichever came sooner would be the direction you two go. Tonight, it seemed like you would be taking the orange line home.
On the train, you watched as the city skyline passed by. The orange line was one of the few above-ground trains in the city, and luckily, the stop was just 2 blocks away from your apartment.
With your head on Changbin's shoulders, you got to see the skyscrapers shine like birthday candles. So many people wish for this type of life. You were one of the lucky ones who got your wish granted. Changbin's right arm was wrapped around your shoulder, not too tight but just firm enough so you wouldn't slip away.
"Thank you for coming out tonight, sweet girl. I am sorry, today was a tougher day at work. Do you want to talk about it?"
This was another thing you adored about Changbin. He could switch from party mode to a listening ear, whatever the moment deemed was best.
"No, I'm okay, babe. Thank you for the offer. I just want to unwind and get under the covers with the AC on blast, if you don't mind."
And with a clear path, Changbin knew he had to deliver. He simply nodded his head. Not much else had to be said at the moment. He squeezed your shoulder gently, so he could show he heard you. His lips kissed your forehead before his gaze returned to tracking the map, so you two would get off at the right stop.
He might've taken this train at least 50 times. Yet, he was always on the lookout for both of you.
Once off the train and walking up the steps of your four-floor walk-up, Changbin's hand returned to your lower back. The closer you two got to home, the more handsy he would get. You couldn't quite figure out if it was because you two were away from the outside world or what. For Changbin, his guard was lowering as he knew home was the safest spot. He could always expect what might happen within the walls of your apartment.
"I'm going to rinse off, Binnie. Wait for me in bed?"
"Now why wouldn't I?" he chuckled.
You giggled back in response before giving him a peck on the cheek. Even after a year or so of dating, you always felt giddy around Changbin. He was actively healing a part of you without knowing it. If little you knew the love you were receiving now, they would be over the moon. And that is true to be said about you in the present.
You tried to be quick in the shower. There was no sense in trying to shower tonight. Your hair always looked better after a quick wash in the morning. The pineapple-scented body wash was squirted onto a loofah, hoping to make the process quicker. You had a rather attractive guy waiting for you in the bedroom after all.
After making sure the bubbles were rinsed off your body, you sighed in relief. The warm water felt good against your skin, but it was nothing compared to being held by your beloved. You wrapped yourself up in the orange towel that rested over the shower rod.
From your position in the bathroom, you could hear Changbin on TikTok. Or maybe it was the newest trend sent to him from Felix. Either way, it only motivated you to dry off quicker and put your hair into a low bun.
With the towel wrapped around your body, you turned off the fan and lights of the bathroom. Luckily, your bedroom was right next door to the bathroom, so you didn't have too much longer to wait.
Upon entry, you shivered for a moment. Before Changbin sprawled himself out on your bed, it appears he turned on your AC unit. The phone screen lit up his face slightly, showing off the smile on his lips. He had stripped himself out of a white T-shirt and was just wearing a pair of black shorts. However, hearing you enter the room, he turned off the phone to focus on you. His immediate attention caused a blush to cover your cheeks.
To your surprise (which it shouldn't be), Changbin found your favorite oversized t-shirt. It was one he bought for you at a store, as he saw you eyeing it. It was lying on your bed for you.
"How did I get so lucky?"
"I ask myself the same thing, darling."
You replaced the towel with a t-shirt. Another bonus of dating Changbin is that he has helped you get more confident in your skin. Both through the intimacy shared under the covers and his day-to-day compliments, Changbin always strived to make sure you knew you were breathtaking.
With past partners, you would've grabbed the t-shirt and gone back to the bathroom to change. You would've always kept the lights off. There would have been too much thought into making sure you looked perfect for them.
Things were different with Changbin. You were confident not just in your relationship and his feelings, but in how you viewed yourself. You loved the way your thighs jiggled and moved with each movement, showing your strength. You were learning how to love your stomach, as it was a clear indicator that you were taking care of your body and enjoying plenty of good meals with Changbin. The list just goes on of things you love about yourself.
There was a slight breeze already tickling your legs from the AC. Yet, you still welcomed it, knowing it was still going to be in the mid-70s overnight. Nothing like summertime, uh?
Seeing you were getting cold quickly, Changbin opened his arms out to you. You grinned and easily crawled into the bed, where his arms wrapped around your upper body. Your arms had managed to wrap around his torso.
Your head had gotten tucked underneath Changbin's. You smiled at the familiar feeling of his stubble against your chin. His hands gently squeezed your torso, pulling you in close to him.
Synopsis: "Why can't you tell me all these things when you're sober?"
Pairing: Non-Idol! Kim Hongjoong x reader
Genre: ex lovers, slight angst, protective!Hongjoong
Warnings: contains alcohol consumption, mentions vomit, small amounts of profanity, suggestive sexual advances
Word Count: 3.5k
Hongjoong wasn't even sure why he agreed to come out tonight. He was not the type that liked to lower his inhibitions, especially amongst strangers. That is not to say that he didn't enjoy the finer things in life like cocktail hours, lavish dinners after working hours, or buying a new suit from Fifth Avenue. However, to kick off his weekend, he preferred to keep things down low. That included being in his apartment with a vodka cocktail and the quietness of his studio apartment.
Yet, seeing his friends laugh and sing loudly to the music blaring from the speakers, he remembered why he agreed. He stood off to the side and watched over his friends. He enjoyed being in their company, for sure. And they knew how to easily guilt trip him into joining them for a night out, especially when it was seven against one.
His friends just wanted to get him to be a bit more social, not necessarily be the life of the party. He also appreciated that they never guilt tripped when he would undoubtedly bow out for the evening. it was expected. Hongjoong would stay for a drink or two, mingle with past and present friends. Maybe even make a new friend or two through Yunho.
However, there was a greater reason Hongjoong never preferred the night life.
When you two were together, you were the more social of the two. Hongjoong enjoyed that aspect of the relationship where he could try new thing through your sometimes spontaneous ideas. Every now and then, he could tie you down for a quiet night in. More times than not, you were eager to get dressed up (for him), to drink and make memories (with him), and to lose yourself in the moment that only seemed to exist when he was around.
Yet, when you two split, there was no reason to go out anymore. It took great convincing from his inner circle to come out. He also thought the less he was exposed to the outside world, the less of a chance he had of running into you.
The breakup was still fresh for him. There were days that Hongjoong could continue on, work towards shaping his new chapter without reminiscing someone. Other days were a challenge where even the color of his coffee would remind him of you. Or if he heard a certain song playing at a cafe, he was brought back to the long car rides with you or the music you played around your once shared apartment.
Just thinking about those times caused pain points throughout his body. He could safely say one drink was good enough for the evening.
There was no need to interrupt the evening of the rest of his friends. They were all either dancing, drinking, or mingling the night away. Hongjoong, being probably the most impaired, would at least text alerting of his Irish exit and that he would made it home. By the morning, he would receive text from almost all of the guys checking in and thanking him for at least making an appearance. Some would joke that he should try to stay an hour longer next time. The only person who he wouldn't hear from right away would be San who undoubtedly was nursing a hangover, but San would reach too reach out by the following evening.
His friends were all aware of how painful the breakup was for their dear friend. If you asked anyone who knew you two, they thought you two were end game. It was a shock when you had been the one to pull away and out of the relationship. Hongjoong wanted to beg for you to stay, but he also respected you too much to second guess your decision.
Maybe he should've chased after you more? Fought for you harder? That was in the past now, unfortunately.
Hongjoong began to move away from the crowd and towards the kitchen. Wanting to be a good guest, he placed his solo cup into the recycling after tossing whatever remaining liquid down the drain of the sink. He did a quick glance around in case he could spot Seonghwa, just to give his best mate a heads up. No sight though.
With his keys in his pocket, he was ready to go. It was still summer in the city so the coolness of night was always welcomed. It was the preferred atmosphere than sweating bullets when you're surrounded by steel skyscrapers and concrete.
"Guyssssssss, who had the last lemon drop?!"
Your voice was too clear for him to even deny it was you. Even with his back turned and going months without hearing it on a regular base, without a doubt you were in the room.
Slowly, he turned around just to make sure. And when he did, it felt like he was living his best nightmare.
Your head was turned as if you were waiting for a response from someone behind you. There was nobody in the room besides the two of you. One hand was holding onto the doorframe that led from the living room, where most of the party was unfolding to, to the kitchen where Hongjoong felt his life was unraveling. He felt like all the progress he made to get over you was just thrown out the window at this point.
He could tell by your flushed skin you were well drunk. Hence why you were holding onto the threshold to keep yourself upright.
When you didnโt get a response, you huffed and looked forward. Your leg moved to take a step but you couldnโt quite do it. Not with Hongjoong staring you down. You instantly were brought back to the night of your last argument.
It happened in your own kitchen. You were scared of where the relationship was moving, but you knew Hongjoong was all in. And thatโs what scared you the most was the idea of him being committed to just you.
What if he got bored of me? What if he realized I wasnโt anything special?
The voices in your head played their sick games which drove you away. Hongjoong never got the full picture because you thought it would hurt him more to know the truth.
โY/n?โ He called out. His voice was soft, almost child-like.
Before you knew it, you were on your knees in front of a toilet. Someone was holding your hair back for you. An angel. You coughed as your stomach emptied itself. Beads of sweat were accumulating on your forehead, and you were trying to breathe through your mouth to avoid the smell.
A gentle hand ran up and down your back, causing you to naturally lean back. The warm touch was very much welcomed.
Slowly, you tilted your head back to thank the stranger. Now that the shakes of subsided and you didn't feel like any more liquid could possibly come out. Just having a slice of bread was not cutting it before tonight's outing.
Your eyes slowly widened as you were greeted with the face of your ex-lover, Kim Hongjoong. You didn't believe it when you saw him standing in the kitchen, looking like sheer perfection. You were just going to blame it on the pineapple palomas you've been pounding since you walked through the door.
"Well hi to you too, darlin'," he spoke gently. You kept staring at him as he removed his hand off your back, so he could move them behind your head. You didn't question what you were up to. You were too busy trying to put the pieces together how you two ended up in the same location. Your neck didn't feel sweaty, kind of cool from the breeze coming in from the opened window. You were at least able to put the pieces together for this case that Hongjoong had put your hair in a ponytail and had opened the window at some point.
Before you could respond back to him, there was a quick knock at the door. The door opened which caused you to jump in surprise. Hongjoong placed his left foot in front of you, somewhat shielding you from the person coming in abruptly.
"Woah, I didn't mean to interrupt!" The guy apologized, putting his hands up.
Hongjoong watched as the stranger's eyes bounced between you and him. At first, he seemed sincere about interrupting the scene unfolding behind the closed door. However, seeing your hair up in a ponytail and mascara smeared. Hongjoong was looking down at you tenderly. The guy was starting to create his own scene. Hongjoong could see the gears turning which was starting to cause his blood pressure to rise.
"But while I'm here, do you need help finishing the job? Now that you got her all-"
"Don't you fucking dare even finish that sentence," Hongjoong growled.
Just as quickly the stranger walked in, he spun on his heels and left. Hongjoong was just disgusted by the idea someone would want to do such an act when you were in this kind of state. And the fact that stranger probably wasn't the only one? He needed to get you out of here.
"Party is over, princess," Hongjoong cooed.
"Take me home, Joong?" you pouted.
There were too many instances where you said those words to him. Either after a long day at work, following evening plans, or sometimes when he just offered to pick you up from somewhere. Yet, 'home' wasn't the same anymore. It was merely a house you lived in and not a home you two shared.
Ever so gently, Hongjoong held his hands out for you. You placed yours in his. He could feel how clammy they were after your moment in the shower. Hongjoong helped you rise back to your feet, but not too quickly where you got dizzy or felt off-balanced. He always took such good care of you.
When you walked out of the shared apartment, out of his life - you believed he always would resent you. The two of you had talked about possibilities in your story together - adopting a dog, getting married, exploring the world together. No matter where life would guide the you both, at the time, you were ready. However, you began to doubt if you both would remain in love. You knew you loved him, but you were so accustomed to good things vanishing easily. The last thing you wanted was to lose Hongjoong because he had lost feelings for you.
Your anxiety had gotten the best of you. You gave in and walked out.
His arm was wrapped around your waist. He flushed the toilet before turning you towards the mirror. You cringed a bit at the look of yourself. You indeed were wearing a good raccoon mask and your cheeks were flushed. "Hold on," he murmured. With his free hand, he reached out to grab a small handful of toilet paper. He began to wipe away the wet mascara and crumbled pieces that had fallen from your eyelashes.
"Good as new," he whispered as your skin was cleared. He paused for a moment to take you in. He couldn't recall the last time you two had been this close. It felt like ages ago, but it felt both familiar yet stronger. Your eyes seemed to glisten under the light of the bathroom. Your chest was rising and falling slightly, which he had thought was due to your sudden sickness a bit ago. "Do you feel alright? Do you need to yack again?"
However, you quickly shook your head. You were too enraptured by the gentle brown hue of his eyes. Or how his hair fell right in front of his eyes. He looked like he had walked right out of a romance novel. He was almost too good to be true, especially with his matching gentle actions. The only thing that reminded you that this was reality was the firm hold on your waist.
"One, and two. One, and two," Hongjoong instructed.
"Hongjoong, baby, I know how to walk," you whined.
"Just reminding you in case you forgot," he teased right back.
Your body was swaying slightly as you walked up the steps of your four floor walkup. Normally, the steps were a breeze. Tonight, though, they felt like climbing up Mount Everest. Hongjoong stayed by your side, his hand on the small of your back. He was positioned to catch you if your foot slipped by mistake. Your liver was just beginning to process the alcohol you consumed, definitely one or two too many. ๐๐ถ๐ค๐ฌ. ๐ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐จ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ.
"Y/n, do you have your keys? Or are your roommates home?"
"I don't have roommates anymore silly."
His heart twitched with pain. He felt so out of loop with your life, especially on the day of the breakup. Hongjoong had always wondered how long you were building up to that moment. He always thought it was a plan that consisted of months of planning. But now he was wondering if it was just a sudden decision. You seemed so certain you wanted to distance yourself from him, so he never came looking for answers. A part of him was afraid of learning the truth.
Hongjoong also wasn't the biggest fan of the fact you lived alone now. You weren't necessarily on the wrong part of the city, but he always will have a deep level of care for you. All he wanted was the best for you, even if it wasn't him who was the best partner for you.
By some miracle, your cross body purse had stayed around you. Some nights it seems to grow legs of its own which is why you had an AirTag on it now. Once you were in front of the door, you let out a long sigh. Your feet ached incredibly but were so grateful you didn't have to climb up another step. Your opened the clutch as you leaned against Hongjoong. He held onto you gently, as if he was afraid he was going to break you.
"I've missed this," you confessed.
You fished out your keys before trying to move them towards the lock. You missed the keyhole twice before Hongjoong's hand rested onto of yours, guiding yours. "I really missed this."
He had to bit down on his lower lip before saying something he would regret. ๐๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐จ ๐๐ช๐จ๐ฉ ๐๐ง๐ช๐ฃ๐ . ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ'๐ฉ ๐ ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฉ ๐จ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐จ ๐จ๐๐ฎ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ง๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฌ. Now was not the time to read too far into the meaning of drunken words in the middle of the night.
Slowly, the front door pushed open. You walked in first, almost making a direct b-line for your bedroom. Hongjoong tried keeping up with you, managing to close and lock your door without losing sight of you. He didn't have a time to stop and investigate your new living arrangement. Right now, he was just concerned with making sure you got to bed.
The sound of your heels against the floor softened as you stepped into the bedroom. The transition from wood flooring to carpet.
He followed the commotion from your bedroom, but was surprised to see you already sitting on your bed. Your lower lip stuck a bit as you stared down at your strappy shoes.
"What's the matter?" He asked. Hongjoong leaned his body against the doorframe, arms crossed over his shoulder. You had left the hallway light on to guide you inside your apartment. Right now, the soft glow was lightening up your face. It enhanced your cheekbones and made your eyelashes long against the tops of your cheeks. You just looked so precious. Even in your drunk state, he loved when you asked him for help. He liked knowing that he could still take care of you.
"Help," you frowned.
Hongjoong didn't need to be asked twice. He moved into your room after he flipped on the overhead light. That instantly caused you to groan which he muttered a quick apology. Getting down on one knee, he moved your right foot up first so he could undo the silver buckle. "I always imagined this," you noted.
With his fingers at work freeing your foot from your shoe, he looked up at you with a raised eyebrow. He was trying to telepathically get you to further explain yourself. "You know," you began, getting the hint. You looked between his bent knee and him. "A proposal."
His heart dropped to his stomach before picking right back up again. Have you actually envisioned that? Or was this just reminiscing on what could've been between the two of you.
"You would ask me with a nice ring you would've had kept for months." Which he did. It was always tucked away in his shaving bag. As he freed your right foot, he moved onto your left foot while you continued detailing your vision.
"And you would bring me on a nice date along the water outside the city." And he was going to do that. He had a reservation at a restaurant by the harbor for your 3 year anniversary. If only you knew.
He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. How on earth was he supposed to respond to that? Hongjoong didn't even get time to think of a response before you were sent into a giggling fit.
"But you weren't supposed to know that."
"Your secret is safe with me, angel. Now, where are your clothes? Let's get you into something comfortable before I get you some water."
All you did was point over towards your walk-in closet. For being separated for a few months, you seemed to have gotten yourself together. You had the space pretty decorated and organized. He walked in to the closet, instantly remembering your little habits before you two haf gotten together. In the apartment when you two started dating in 2022, you had these fabric bins where you kept your underwear and bras, sleep shirts, and anything else that couldn't quite go into a hanger.
Hongjoong managed to make the correct guess on which colored bin was your sleepwear. He pulled out an oversized green shirt before giving it to you.
What he wanted most right now was to question you. ๐๐๐ฎ ๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐ก๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐ข๐? ๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ค? ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ค๐ช๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐๐ง๐๐๐ง?
Right now wasn't the time for that though. While he knew when he drives home, he would be clinging onto your words to find meaning of them, he hoped to have a deeper conversation once you had sobered up. Even if it might not be tomorrow, he hoped that your paths could cross again to either try again or close the door officially on your chapter as a couple.
Once he had the shirt in hand, he made sure the colored bin was back on the top shelf in your closet. If he wanted to even try to have that conversation, he knew he had to leave things in perfect condition. No reason to slam the door shut on any possibility of rekindling the spark.
"Here you go, y/n. I'm going to get some water for you, okay? Shout if you need me."
"I've always needed you, Hongjoong," you murmured as you gently took the shirt.
His heart raced with each step he took out of your bedroom. ๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐ซ๐๐ฃ ๐๐จ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฉ ๐จ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ค๐จ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ข๐๐๐ฃ?
Your current living situation was easy to navigate. It was a studio apartment, similar to his. The open floor concept allowed him to easily navigate to the kitchen. The tricky part was once again which cabinet housed your cups. He made a calculated guess of choosing the cabinet closest to the sink, which was just his lucky. Maybe things could go his way for once?
He filled the cup with water, knowing you would need it either right now or as soon as you wake.
However, by the time he reached your room, you had fallen asleep on your bed. Your clothes laid on the floor that you shrugged off. The oversized t-shirt you wore nearly covered your body. With how hot it was now that summer had crept in, he didn't want to overheat you and cover you with your duvet cover. He gently set the cup by your bedside for you. He felt confident you had thrown up the remaining liquids at the party. And with you being able to get yourself changed, he felt okay with the idea you could navigate yourself to your own bathroom.
Part of him wanted to stay, but he also didn't want to overstay his welcome. He completed the task at hand.
As quiet as he could, he began to make his way out the door. He did turn off the overhead light in your bed. The darkness taking over the room caused you to hum. "Hongjoongie?" You called out softly.
Hongjoong took a deep breath in. He wanted to call you pet names, but he had to calm himself.
"Yes, y/n? Is there something else you need before I dip out?"
"Just want you to know I miss this as in you being with me, being here."
It had been a long week at work. You could feel the dark circles starting to set in your eyes as they were heavy. Maybe it was time to schedule an appointment with the optometrist to get a blue lens glasses?
With the amount of deadlines piling up, it might be an investment.
You felt like a shell of a person. The plans you had made had gotten postponed so you could just come home, make dinner, and sleep. And then repeat in the morning. For a social person, you felt like you were letting down friends by sending those last minute "rain check?" texts. While they were certainly understanding, you just didn't like doing it. Having things to do and/or people to see after working hours always helped the day go by faster.
At least you knew you could come home to your beloved - Hwang Hyunjin. Despite being on the otherside of the world, he always made time to text "good morning" and "good night" texts. Sometimes you were lucky when a few other texts were sprinkled in throughout the day. If not with words, certainly with photos of the citiies he was traveling to and things that reminded him of you.
There were times you wish you could drop everything to just join him. It would be an escape from the responsibilities of work, to be reunited with your significant other, and to create new fond memories. Yet, that was not the way life worked. It has certainly be hard while he's been away since March.
Before dating Hyunjin, you had sworn off on long distance relationships. One of your love languages was quality time, and you just didn't see how it was possible when distance was a great factor.
However, he constanly showed that distance did not matter especially in your relationship. Despite time zones, he always made sure he was on standby when you signaled you had a bad day. He would send little postcards from the water color kit he brought with him, telling you about his latest adventure and how much he missed you. His love was prevelant no matter what.
Tapping on your phone, you were able to check the time. 11:15pm. Hyunjin still had a few hours before he took the stage with his bandmates. Yet, there was the likelihood you would be fast asleep before then as you have another work day ahead of you.
What you adored about your relationship with Hyunjin is that you didn't have to be glued to your phone. With your past partners, you felt the need to always respond to them, to reassure them that you were loyal. Yet, with Hyunjin, he always praised the love and trust you have one another.
You also respected the line of work he was in. Soundchecks, recording sessions, photoshoots - that was just the beginning of the list. You were not sure how Hyunjin manages such a busy schedule.
With your phone by your head, you always woke up more to the vibrations of your phone rather than the sound of your alarm. The sunshine already shining into your room also aided in a much earlier rise from bed than you would prefer.
You tapped the 'off' button on your alarm. 8:15AM. Slowly, you turned on your side to look at your notifications.
Instantly, you furrowed your eyebrows when you didn't see Hyunjin's name on your screen. You had a few tagged posts from friends on Instagram, a handful of TikToks shared, and a text message from a coworker. Yet, nothing from your boyfriend, the person you wanted to hear the most from.
It was around 1:15 a.m. in Paris, France. At this point, you had gotten to know Hyunjin's routine. The guys usually exited from the stage around 10:45/11pm in whatever time zone. Hyunjin liked to shower after each gig before getting on the tour bus back to their hotel or to the airport for the next flight. During that time, he always shot you a quick text because he most likely might fall asleep by the time his body becomes stationary.
Yet, today, nothing.
The work day dragged on today. Without a word from Hyunjin, you found yourself more distracted. You were glancing at your phone, praying for some sort of sign. Just seeing the minute slowly turn to the next made it seem like time froze.
Was he okay? Was he just tired? It was so unlike him. And you had hoped that if there was something drastically wrong that one of the guys would reach out.
Your brain just wouldn't let you focus. It wasn't like Hyunjin just went radio silent like that.
Going long distance during the first year of your relationship was never ideal for any relationship. In the first year of a relationship, you are learning about the other person and learning about their differences. You are picking up on their little habits, and you are also exploring your communication styles.
While you can master communication from a distance, it is hard to read someone's intentions over text. The tricky thing about words is that they could be used too many ways just all based alone intention versus perception. Let alone when your partner stops answering your texts. You just wished you could walk a few blocks to Hyunjin's apartment and just knock on the front door.
Despite your best efforts to settle your worried mind and heart, you kept glancing back at your phone even more. Just any sign of life will suffice at this point. You didn't want to come across as a clingy girlfriend either.
Talk about cruel and unusual punishment.
The clock now read 6:44pm. Who knows what time it was wherever Hyunjin was. Rome? Madrid? Somewhere other than Seoul.
By the time you got home, you were mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. Even more so than then day prior. Everything was tethered back to Hyunjin. While you were physically and mentally trying to be present doing work, the rest of your psyche was hyperfixated on what Hyunjin might be up to.
๐๐ฉ. ๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ? You took a deep breath to compose yourself. While yes, you had conflicting emotions, you couldn't deny there was a part of rough just relieved to hear from him. Your gaze was just locked on the text, trying to formulate the right words to say.
Hyunjin must've sensed your hesitancy because next you were getting a FaceTime call from him. ๐๐ต ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ด ๐ง๐ถ๐ณ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ.
Once you hit the green 'join' button at the top of the screen, you were greeted with the face of the man you loved. Your heart was no longer racing like earlier, but found its regular rhythm. And even thought you were beyond frustrated with the situation, you also felt like your body could relax just looking at hime.
You did take note of his appearance. His hair seemed to be all over the place, as if he had ran his fingers through it too many times. You also could notice the dark circles starting to appear underneath his eyes from exhaustion. You frowned, tilting your head slightly. Your brain was already at work trying to figure out what could be troubling your man.
"Hey baby," he called out. He even sounded exhausted.
"Hey yourself stranger."
Hyunjin became a bit ridged at the name. He had grown so accustom to being called honey or baby, but not 'stranger.' It stung a bit especially as he felt that you had become an extended part of him. You, in a sense, were his home. Both because physically you were in Seoul but also because he wasn't Hwang Hyunjin from Stray Kids when he was with you. He could just be Hyunjin.
"Before we talk, I just gotta ask - are you okay?"
Gently, he bit his lip as he looked at you. He was not quite sure what he was bracing for when he first decided to call instead of waiting for a text back. Maybe a bit of screaming, maybe you silently staring back at him from wherever you were in the apartment. Just by looking at you, he could tell you were in the kitchen of the apartment. You had the iPhone leaning against one of the kitchen appliances as you sat on the stool of the kitchen table. You had never looked more beautiful.
Which made Hyunjin feel a tad bit more guilty for his choice of actions.
"Um, yeah. I think so. I don't know."
"Well, you've got me now. I'm here to listen, if that's what you need."
Hyunjin slowly nodded his head. His eyes gazed down at the table top in front of him. The hotel room he was staying in had a small table for those who might be on a business trip. He had his phone leaning against the lamp, so he could properly look at you. Right now, his hand were crossed in front of him. His thumbs were dancing over one another.
"I just had a bad day yesterday. I was so upset, I came back to the hotel room without showering and just went to bed."
You slowly nodded your head, listening and encouraging him to continue. You would later speak on your hurt emotions, but Hyunjin clearly was in some distress over whatever is happening. Relationships always are about communication, always about loving one another through the good and hard times.
"I figured it wasn't about me, baby boy. However, I was a bit hurt when I am just now hearing from you almost 24 hours later. That isn't like you."
"But I didn't want to take my emotions out of you!"
Both of your eyes widened as his sudden louder volume. He even surprised himself. Immediately, you could see his shoulders slump and barely made out the small "I'm sorry" that slipped from his lips.
"Hyunjinnie, baby, listen. I am here for you always, through it all. I cannot quite read your mind yet, especially over the distance we are right now."
"I know," he sighed.
"And that means even if you need to take space to feel your emotions, I'm never going to be mad about that. I just need to be pointed in the direction of what you need."
Still embarrassed by his outburst, he kept his head down. Yet, he was giving slow nods of his head which showed he was listening. Hyunjin was just reflecting on his choices over the past day, specifically when they come to your relationship.
"So, Hyunjin?" You called out.
You finally were met with the eyes of your significant other. He gave a shy smile, his eyes sparkling which you believed might be from tears. You were not going to call him out on it. You adored how vulnerable he allowed himself to be with you, so you would not dare do or say anything that might cause him to treat.
"Yes, y/n?"
A smile crept onto your face just hearing more of his voice, his usual tone he used with you. There was your Hyunjin.
"What do you need?"
"Can I vent for a moment?"
"Of course. Like I said, I'm all ears."
From there opened the gates to all of Hyunjin's feelings. Sound check did not go so well as he was mentally not in it. His mind was on how his tour was quickly coming to an end, and how quickly thing would be picking back up with their latest comeback just announced. And then he wasn't hitting the notes during the concert. Of course, he was having fun with his best friends on stage, but he felt torn that he might've been disappointing the fans who paid too much money to see them. Maybe he had not rehearsed enough, or he was not properly resting his voice in between shows. Even his art that he was doing wasn't turning out the way he wanted it.
Your heart ached for him. You wanted to help absorb some of that hardship from him.
"And I feel like I'm letting you down. I try to be there for you all the time, but I fucked up so much yesterday."
"I'm not going to say it's a complete fuck up, honey," you said soothingly. "Was it the best course of action? No. However, I can understand where you are coming from. I just need you to understand where I am also coming from."
Anytime he was in the studio, you were his muse. He viewed you as an angel sent to him to remind him that life is worth living, that good things eventually do come. You brought this aura of serenity not just to his life, but to everyone you interacted with. Hyunjin was truly the luckiest man, but he took it for granted yesterday.
"I didn't mean to worry you."
"Hyunjin, like it or not, I am going to worry because believe it or not, we're together. You're my boyfriend who I love and care for. Worrying is a part of caring. I will always be here, but you need to communicate with me like I said."
"I can do that," he said. Even with a little brighter of a smile, you could tell he needed that venting session. "Just promise you will always be there? Even when I am a bit of a grouch?"
You giggled slightly, knowing that would cause his smile to grow even more. His favorite sound was your laughter.
