Untitled @atlanteanseavampire - Tumblr Blog

Joking aside, the Millennium Falcon is not the space fantasy equivalent of a busted-ass old panel van.

The Millennium Falcon is the space fantasy equivalent of a busted-ass old panel van that's inexplicably been hot-rodded to have a top speed of 300 miles per hour, which is substantially funnier.

verirothestar

batshit-auspol

Surefire way to get everyone saying Radelaide

astriiformes

Saint Paul Public Library, I am begging you to make this real

publicuniversalfi3nd

my dad sent me this today and I'm so jealous

batshit-auspol

has anyone sent you Andrew Leigh's official portrait on his website because I was reminded of it recently and it made me laugh out loud

www [dot] andrewleigh [dot] com [slash] andrew

Look normally we have a policy of not sharing any politicians' photos that contain their kids, but clearly Andrew specifically chose to upload this particular family photo to his website, so ladies, gentlemen and others, we present to you the Assistant Minister for Employment's official portrait:

Big mood little dude

what-even-is-thiss

I still think about during my last semester of undergrad I took comparative religion as an elective and this was during covid and a bad wildfire season so everybody around me was losing their jobs, homes, health. And one day during Zoom class someone explained the word “yeet” to my comparative religion professor as the opposite of yoink

And without any hesitation she said “Ah, so the lord yeetith and the lord yoinkith away”

And when I tell you that kept me going for at least a week

lol

“oh you know him”

the director of god of war 2 and god of war 2018 really just has a tiny horse in his bed

good-times-bad-food

I thought he was making a dumb witcher joke nope thats an actual horse omg

coolhiroaki

sick of “scottish independence” this and “irish reunification” that

theres 3 of us and 1 of england

i say we just kick the english out the uk

systlin

Ireland, Scotland, and Wales kick England out and join the UK as the United Celtic Nations.

king-ghidorah

We can do this folks we can even steal some of france

ribstongrowback

the bretons would probably be down tbh

hedgehog-moss

Solid chance that all of France will vote in favour if you promise us it’ll piss off England.

batshit-auspol

For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.

Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.

Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:

violence:

drinking their own urine:

or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.

Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.

This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.

That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a “stupid white bastard”.

Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.

You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.

Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.

The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".

And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.

aokozaki

Really, our only complaint, nationally, is that she should've called the cop a cunt.

batshit-auspol

How remiss of us not to include any pictures of the legend herself

frisk is just a fucking baby. and everyone just monologues at them

mtvmakesmewannasmokecrack

alphys: you know i… i used to hate myself, before you came along. i don’t know… i don’t want to use you to boost my self esteem but i just want to say… thanks, you know? for giving me a little more confidence, i guess. you’re really special to me

frisk: *is five years old*

sweet-dreams-are-made-of-my-dick

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

moonkitty

welcome to the no notes frisk wants chicken nuggets post

mod2amaryllis

what in God’s name

paper-mario-wiki

sounds about right

misstextures

Holy shit

The no notes frisk wants chicken nuggets post has become…

The some notes frisk wants chicken nuggets post

nintengu

(x)

marlynnofmany

I love how the tornado doesn't look malicious. She's just dancing along, doing her thing, and it's a pity you're so very ant-sized below.

sourcreammachine

tumblr will turn anything into a girl

transmechanicus

of course, this is the turning into a girl website

lakemojave

I do believe the girl is turning already

miseria-fortes-viros

man sometimes i really want to get back into welding but then i remember that the guys from the first course i took won’t be there and change my mind

miseria-fortes-viros

comprehensive list of things that happened to me in my welding course with The Guys:

- was the only one to get an A the first grading period. had to stop them from putting me on their shoulders

- became the official classroom mascot on account of i was the only girl. this meant i was an integral stop on any and all workshop tours. was referred to as “Our Lady Helena” on these occasions

- almost set myself on fire once bc my prof stood behind me watching me try a skill he’d just demonstrated and he shouted very suddenly very loudly. restarted my heart and asked WTF WAS THAT FOR JOHN and he called me a “goddamn wonder”. i almost got third degree burned over a compliment

- mentioned offhand ONE TIME that swords were cool. also mentioned my birthday offhand ONE TIME. one of The Guys remembered both instances and also happened to find a sword in a dumpster so he gave it to me for my birthday

- came in fifth in an arm wrestling competition

- french braided my hair in class bc i didn’t have time to do it beforehand. ended up with an audience of like 5+ guys trying to figure out how tf i was doing it

- told The Guys my college friends call me barbie. Mistake. suddenly had all 12 of them calling me Barbarian

- had some down time and made a silly little sculpture with some scraps. The Guys were endlessly intrigued by this and demanded to see some of my art school stuff. had a small crowd around my phone cheering loudly every time i swiped to a new picture

- accidentally mentioned the cafe i worked at. Mistake. several days later all 12 of them came in to bother me

- offered someone a haircut. Mistake. had to retract the offer bc suddenly Everyone wanted a haircut and it would Not Be Fair if i only did one

prokopetz

I mean, treating yaoi as the opposite of yuri just doesn't make sense mathematically: boys are not the inverse of girls. The actual opposite of yuri would somehow have to involve fewer than zero girls, and that's not an easy thing to characterise.

prokopetz

It has been proposed in the notes that shonen anime, Hideo Kojima games, and police procedurals where all the women die by the end satisfy the criterion of having fewer than zero girls in various ways.

Identifying the common thread of these proposals, we may thus conclude that the opposite of yuri is Supernatural.