attempted coherence

lso, 31, chicago - . - queer+tender

[attemptedcoherence]

Lots of “read the room” moments this week - acquaintances w layers of privilege who moved to Chicago for the vibes and opportunities and relative affordability have been posting their lil pics calling Chicago “so cute” on social media but don’t engage with anything remotely gritty on a public platform (and unlikely to do so irl because they would post shit for the clout) -especially right now- is moderately disheartening but nothing new. Literally vultures.

I love my transplant friends who give so many shits and do so many things to contribute to and protect this city. They care so much and put so much time and effort into learning about their communities and neighbors and I love them so much for it. My acquaintances are at arms length for a reason.

[attemptedcoherence]

also learned what a mucus plug is today via google and don’t recommend image searching. also never want to be pregnant! eek!

[attemptedcoherence]

First late night in a good while! What the hell am I doing on tumblr and Facebook like it’s 2009? I’m looking for the gay bar with cages and a smoking room in Rennes that DID EXIST IN 2009-2010 because it was/wasn’t a real place and i need confirmation it existed. Also retracing my steps to my first date with beau at the hookah bar near the galeries lafayette, which I don’t think exists anymore. My mental map is so vivid and I was in Rennes last year, so maybe my mental map is blurred. Then there’s google maps that proving my brain wrong and I’m like WHAT. I stg W telling me to watch the summer I turned pretty ruined my night bc I was reminded of a tricky adolescence and fell down the rabbit hole. ALSO my homework is forcing me to reflect on my years in school and I wrote about SYA and ugh it was so beautiful and so weird but so great and I’ll never get over it.

[fieriframes]

[How Can We Know for Sure That We’ll Go to Heaven?]

[imakecrxk-deactivated20250909]

[rimonoroni2]

tomboyism is so funny to me. gender non-conformity for girls is acceptable for like two minutes between the ages of 8 and 10. beyond that it’s appalling and you’re a freak but for those two years…… they could’ve had it all

[goddessactuality]

[attemptedcoherence]

Dazzling

[katocaster]

in the last two days I have listened to 11 CDs all the way through. do not believe the lie that the CD is dead; it's only dead if you let it be. to me the CD is genuinely the most convenient way to listen to music in 2025

[attemptedcoherence]

now I’m getting pro CD propaganda on my feed

[ruinedholograms]

Flora (1987)

[attemptedcoherence]

really fucking into cds rn

[mmm-asbestos]

has anyone figured out how much art you need to make to make your mental illness go away

[not-from-mars]

so far it’s not seven

[attemptedcoherence]

blah blah blah

it’s been 40 and grey for two months, and the cherry blossoms may not bloom again for a second year in a row

Noah talked about seasons blurring, but the falcon sat on the obelisk today waiting to be seen through my desk binoculars for moments like these

there used to be a goose problem on the patch of grass between the school and the river - we would tiptoe across in the spring dodging droppings as they hissed protecting their fluffy young flock

I only saw a pair today, and there is a duck couple that hangs out on the river. There are coyotes too, but I haven’t seen them yet.

I took a chilly walk to grab a sandwich from the place across the street from the university, and I noticed the dull ache in my throat, the kind you get before you get real sick.

Sarah sat in the beach chair she brought and she waited for me to clock out with her, which was nice. I sit and listen to folks vent all day and they seem so unhappy. Lots of lawsuits, apparently. Hell of a lot of shit talking, way more than I’m cool with. Some passive aggression, which I find both rude and inefficient. All in a days work, I suppose.

I’m wondering how to stay in my lane - is it even possible when the nature of people is to step on each other’s toes for better or for worse?

I said more than I meant to today on impulse, and the thing about saying things is they can’t be unsaid. Authenticity works for some people, I just don’t think it works for me in all contexts (neither do I think everyone is equally deserving of it).

Tomorrow I get to dance - studio time is the best time, but I’m so wired from the week on friday nights that it’s hard to focus. Developing my artistry is worth it and helps my erratic brain slow down.

[longseasons]

[attemptedcoherence]

There are over 400 lyannes who are federally employed!

[attemptedcoherence]

how do I get more attention on the internet

[skopostheorie]

Ethnic is one of the funnier euphemisms for not white. Damn you look like you come from somewhere

[capnsoapy]

do you think that a certain genre of queer person is so obsessively weird about pride flag discourse becuase their flags fill the gaping hole in their personality where a hogwarts house used to be

[attemptedcoherence]

red tape and a good laugh

remembering that one time I tried to get top surgery and jumped through all the hoops then went in for my surgical consultation only to have been accidentally referred to a gynecologist who said “they gave you the wrong referral but I can take out your uterus rn if you want”.

had a good laugh then a good cry then another good laugh. might cry again tho WHO KNOWS