So as we were saying... Chris: Well, it's still true! I never wanted an extraordinary life. Neil: Chris would be quite happy living with someone in suburbia. Chris: When you said that, I just got a real pang. I'd like the suburban life. Quite a nice car. Sports car. Actually, my sister's got some friends who have got the life I want. They spend all day playing golf, going to watch Arsenal, going on holidays, tennis, socializing. Neil: Drinking white wine. Chris: A sip of white wine. They've a rather glamorous life. Is that too much to ask for? Neil: [laughs] Apparently, yes. And this has been a terrible second best that you've stumbled into? Chris: Well, I think this has only happened because I wanted something different. Because that's what he's like, isn't he? So, just to clarify: God punished you by giving you the Pet Shop Boys' career? Chris: [laughs] It's been one long punishment! Why do you think I've looked so miserable the entire time? Did I show you the advert for someone to play me in a tribute band? [He finds the advert on his phone. It is a replacement member for the band Pet Shop Boys, Actually. The advert reads 'We're on the lookout for our next Chris Lowe -- could that be you?' then lists the three essential qualifications for the job: 'A love of PSB', 'Under 6ft 2in', and 'A miserable disposition'.] Neil, would you like to offer a counterbalance? Neil: Well, in the eighteen years since the previous conversation, I think we have carried on with expanding the world that we were talking about. And you, unlike your partner in music, have been glad to be doing this? Neil: Yes, absolutely. I think my partner in music has also been quite glad to, really. The problem with Chris is that he thinks he wants a normal life, but he's not a normal person. Chris: [laughing] How dare you! Neil: No, but that's the problem. He's actually not a normal person in any way, shape, or form. That's why the suburban life was doomed. He's a creative person who doesn't really follow a lot of normal rules of behaviour or pursue the way of life that would have led to that. Remember, Chris left college with a lot of student debts -- which were considerable, shockingly large! -- and paid them off by becoming a pop star. Chris: It's not cheap when you're doing architecture. It's not just pen and paper, like historians. We have costs. Neil: I mean, it seemed inconceivable he would get a job as an architect, which could have led to the suburban bliss. Chris: No, I don't think I'd have been very good at architecture. Neil: Well, it's too much responsibility. Something you can't bear. Chris: I know. You can't have someone like me in the office. Neil: You can't even ask someone for a piece of bread in a restaurant! Chris: [laughing] 'Neil, are you going to get some bread?' Neil: I mean, that person can never be an architect. Chris: Well, I just don't like making decisions. Do you recognize Neil's description of you? Chris: Yeah. So maybe it's good this happened? Chris: Looking back, it probably is.
"A further conversation with Chris Heath, October 2024" in Volume (2026)
