The Untitled

"Desperate but not hopeless"

[aukk1]

Ice Burrito

Recipe:

1 x Ultimate hunger

1 x Fast food restaurant

2 x Burrito

1 x Car (must have a cup holder)

1 x Overnight frost

If you have all of these, you're doing swell.

How to make it:

You defeat the ultimate hunger with a burrito from a fast food restaurant so quickly that you are unable to eat the second one. Take it with you and place it to the cup holder while you drive. Forget it there and the overnight frost will do the rest for you!  

Note! remember to wrap the burrito into something else than paper. The sauce goes through the paper and freezes the burrito into the cup holder and wont come off.

[aukk1]

Better Listen What the Doc has to Say

Flu is a real pain in the butt. Especially when you've been having an unsuccessful battle with it for a week. After the week you feel powerless and exhausted and decide that you need help from the doctor...

...going to the doc like...

He orders you a pile of pills and a sick-leave. As one of the treatments he prescripts you antibiotics. He also adds that you should take lactic acid bacteria with the antibiotics, since they might cause damage to the stomach. Last time you took antibiotics was about 5 yrs ago and at that time they had no affect on your tummy...

...so you're like...

After 3 days of sick-leave you start to feel better, so it is time to get back to work. Suddenly on the drive to work you feel penetrating pain in your upper stomach. How in the world can there exist such pain. It comes as waves and continues through the whole day. Working with the pain feels almost impossible. Suddenly the words of the doctor about the lactic acid bacteria and when you've lost approximately 60 € to pharmacy during one day to solve the problem...

...so the brains and the stomach have a conversation like...

[aukk1]

[aukk1]

elinaesfun said: Is this about me??

Everyone has my permission to relate. ;)

[aukk1]

Disturbing Diet

Sorry I haven't been posting that much, but life's been treating me good. This post goes to the ladies, but I do also give the men a permission to relate.

You realize one day, that for some weird reason your lifestyle have created a bit of storage for a long hibernation. Even though you have no intention to implement one, it is still there. So you decide to start dieting. Determining the logic on body weight loss, you need to eat less than your body consumes. This create mixed feelings on anger, depression and a lot of other negative feelings that go hand in hand with hunger.

First few days of the diet and hanger (=hungry+angry) you feel like...

Few weeks go by and the results are starting to show. You see it on the scale and other people start to notice. All the hard work, and the results are giving you feeling of success.

The feeling turns into...

You have now implemented the diet for 2 months without slipping. The results are amazing! Until one night you literally wake up from the fridge...

...in the middle of a...

...and you wonder what in the world happened?

[aukk1]

Sloppiness is the Best Policy

The sun is still up and you have been behind the wheel for half of a day. Your back is hurting and you decide to reward yourself with and ice cream, since it's on offer 2 for the price of one. You get to the parking lot of the supermarket and go inside. You navigate straight to cold section to get your ice cream.

And you're like...

You get your ice cream and get back to the car. You're grabbing your pockets, looking for the keys to your car...they're nowhere to be found. You suspect that you have put them in your purse and since you took only your wallet and phone with you, they have to be in the purse...in the car. With a calm feeling of irritation you make a call for the spare keys and sit down to wait for them. You open your ice cream from its wrappers and when you get the first rich, fully chocolate flavored bite from the cover of the ice cream it starts raining.

And you're eating your ice cream like...

You get the keys to your car and get inside the car, out from the rain. On the second you sit down, you feel something underneath you. You try your rear pocket and surprise surprise: Your car keys!

You're behind the wheel like...

[aukk1]

Week from Hell

On Monday you start your week refreshed and rested after a nice long weekend spent amongst with friends, good food and exersice. The best things you can have in life...

...and you feel like.

At the end of Monday someone has mentally hurt you and you feel really discouraged. But since the week is only in the beginning, you decide to draw yourself together and see what Tuesday has to offer...

...and you're like.

After Tuesdaday when you've realized at work that you've made a quite bad mistake, you leave from work feeling a bit blue. You get to your car and sit down and take a deep breath. Then you realize a piece of cardboard on your windshield wiper. You get up from the car and read it, since it has a message. Telling you that accidentally someone has given your fender a bender...

...and you're like.

On Wednesday you are ready to end the week. Then it happens. The mistake comes to hunt you and you get a really bad rebuke once again. You've had enough and kinda scared when you realize that it's still only Wednesday.

[aukk1]

Dangers of Bicycles

You have an agenda, from which you don't want to be late from. The sun is shining and weather is most lovely, so you decide to travel your journey by bicycle. 

Basically what you are feeling when going outside is...

On your way you remember that last summer the dynamo of the bicycle broke. You also remember that last time you used your cycle, the gears of it broke down also, so that you have only 1 gear to use. You comfort yourself with an idea of extra exercise. Finally when you're cycling up a hill and the plastic handle slides quickly off from the handlebar and you're about to get knocked out by a bicycle...

...your feelings transform to...

..reflecting outside only...

[aukk1]

Working Community -Day

You have an annual working community -day approaching. You're exited to go with your co-workers to a cabin for a day to plan work things and afterwards have a meal and some fun. You plan to wear the most comfy clothes and have outdoors games to play...

...and you're like...

The morning of Friday arraives and gives you rainclouds. You get to the cabin and it rains all day long. When you leave from the cabin, 2 hours after the sun starts shining and through the weekend it's warmer than +20 degrees. You ponder of mother nature and her schemes...

...and you're like...

[aukk1]

Mind Reader

You work for a department, that has a person in lead who has a mind like a bee nest. You give your 100 % and do everything as you are told. You NEED to know everything and not make too many questions. Multitasking is the word of the day. You feel like you're doing the job of at least 3 people at some point and what you believe is that you are still doing it well.

What you are waiting for...

8 times out of 10 you have done something slightly or totally wrong due to incomplete or vague directions or misunderstandings. You would have to be a mind reader to know everything needed.

What you end up getting is...

...which makes you feel like...

...but what you show outside is...

[aukk1]

Designated Driver

You decide to be kind and be the designated driver for your friends. You're friends are quite tipsy and getting worse during the evening. Hard liqueurs are leaving their marks on their behavior. You get to the first bar and get yourself a cup of tea. As a patient mind you calmly observe, how the situation goes on. At one point you leave the company for approximately 10 minutes. When you come back, they've ditched you. You call them to ask "Wtf just happened?" and the answer is "We thought that you left, so we went by foot."

And you're like...

You catch up with them to the next bar and get an energy drink. You feel like you could fall asleep at any moment. Finally you notice that you're all alone once again and start looking for your friends. You can't find them and finally you give up and ask if the familiar bouncer has seen them. He tells you that they hooked up with someone and took a taxi home.

And you're like...

[aukk1]

Kids Do The Darnest

You play with your friends kids. You turn your back for 1 minute and hear this huge scream. You turn around and the younger boy out of 2 has a battery operated TMNT car stuck in his long blond hair.

And he's like...

You are calming the boy down, trying to get the turtles car out of his hair and suddenly you realize that the child has another car in his hand. He is trying to stick the end of your scarf in between the spinning wheels of the toy.

And you're like...

[aukk1]

Burn Baby, Burn!

Wake up in the morning for work and feel quite groggy. Eat a lovely breakfast and make yourself a cup of tea. There's no rush, since you have flexible working hours. You can enjoy your morning in peace. You feel great, most likely this day is gonna be a success.

You even have a new thermos mug to keep your tea warm. You take a zip of your tea from it and feel how the tingle on your tongue is quickly escalating to an anguished sensation of burn.

And you're like...

[aukk1]

Ice Cream Time!

You decide to reward yourself with Italian ice cream, more commonly known as gelato. The best ice cream in the world. You don't have the time to enjoy it, so you take it while you start driving from point A to point B. Suddenly you find yourself in crossroads, waiting for a long line of cars to pass by.

You enjoy your ice cream like...

You're so concentrated on the ice cream that suddenly when you see the last car of the line coming, you take a peak on the other way and you notice a car next to you,

with 3 guys inside stearing at you like...

And you're like...

[aukk1]

HuvR Board

One of your greatest childhood dreams has come true! Finally they invented the famous hover board from Back to the Future movies. Ready to pay anything for this miracle to be next female Marty McFly.

When you hear the news, you're like...

Post the news on Facebook and suddenly your inbox is full of messages. People posting you links of articles saying that it's a hoax. You refuse to believe that...

...and you're like

[aukk1]

Car? A Problem? No?

You get a day off for Friday to take your car for oil exchange and maintanance. Vehicle inspection is getting closer and since there's nothing wrong in your car, you plan to take care of that also on Friday. It looks like everything's gonna go smoothly...

...and you're like

You wake up on Sunday, ready to go on a Thaiboxing course. On your way to the car you realize that someone has unleashed their fusturation on the sidemirror of your car. After waiting for the police to arrive for 40 mins and missing the Thaiboxing course...

...you're like.

[aukk1]

Plumbing repair

Housing company decides to have a small scale of plumbing renovations. You live 5 days without water, showering at your friends, parents and gym. Brushing your teeth at work. You have a dry toilet in the middle of your kitchen, since it does not fit to the toilet. After the 5 days you get notification that it's gonna be 4 more days. After the 4 days, when you get your toilet and shower working

you're like...

4 days later on Friday you get a note that the renovations are going to continue on the following week. This means 4 more days without water and comeback of the dry toilet.

And you're like...

[aukk1]

Flee market

What a surprise! You find one of your childhood favorite rock band single from a flee market for a cheap price and buy it.

You're like...

You get into your car thinking about the long way home. Thankfully you made a purchase you can enjoy all the way. You open the covers to find from inside a single from a rap group that you can't stand...

...and you're like...