Just realized that I never made an introduction here- so uh ello there people of tumblr!
My name is Austin! I’m an 18 year old FTM Canadian digital artist and animator! I like to post a lot of art related to my hyperfixations here lmao, which are as follows:
-IT (2017)
-Heathers
-Adventure Time
-The Count Of Monte Cristo
-The Walten Files
-Kpop Demon Hunters
-Heated Rivalry
I also post a lot on YouTube and Instagram as well! I go by Austin ANimates on all platforms!
Thank you for reading this late intro lol, I hope to see you around! :D
Headcanon that Ilya downloads the Finch self-care app to help with his depression, and it works wonders with helping him manage his personal hygiene during off seasons and helping him with his self image and positive thoughts
Shane also uses it from Ilya’s recommendation as a way of managing his need for structure on top of the mental health benefits
Two pages of transmasc Ilya doodles + a mini timeline of events!! These doodles are a mix of my small trans Ilya passport brainworm and my girlmoding transmasc Ilya yap- with some extra lore sprinkled in! If you’d like to hear more of my yapping for this particular AU you’re free to read it below the cut lol (be warned, it’s a lot of yapping)
For what I currently have written down for this mini AU, Ilya begins playing hockey for the Russian Women’s National Ice Hockey team in 2008, and is drafted to the Boston Fleets in 2009, shortly after Shane is drafted to the Metros. Women’s hockey is unfortunately significantly less popular than men’s hockey (especially back then) so I don’t think Ilya would be in as much of the public eye as Shane is, but he’s definitely up there in his world of hockey.
I’m not sure where they would actually meet- presumably at some sort of hockey event, maybe when Shane wins Rookie of the Year in 2011- but at some point they’d start talking and Shane would definitely know who Ilya is despite his less significant notoriety, because Shane is on the spectrum and anything hockey is a go for him. Something something they end up hooking up, and this is where I’m sure Ilya would mention (even vaguely) his repressed feelings of gender dysphoria. This would probably be through certain requests he has before they have sex, like no touching his chest or any vaginal penetration, which makes Shane relieved but also incredibly curious. Ilya probably wouldn’t share much during their first hook up, though as they begin seeing each other more and more he’d probably open up a bit about how he’s feeling since Shane would be considered a safe person to talk to about this sort of thing.
The thing to mention about Shane in this AU is that he DOES still like Ilya even before his transition; Ilya has always been a man despite his physical appearance, which Shane is tuned in to even if he doesn’t fully understand Ilya’s circumstances.
Still, Shane is still dealing with a LOT of internalized homophobia at the beginning of their situationship, and I think here he partially believes that he can get away with performative heterosexuality because Ilya is still presenting as a woman (which is by all means also internalized transphobia, Shane tackles this along with his internalized homophobia when he talks to Rose about his feelings later on).
This leads me to the Tunameltdown- I’m not exactly sure what triggers it, maybe during their talk while eating Ilya mentions trying to go by his preferred name, and maybe during the frotting Shane uses it and has the sudden realization that he loves Ilya for his masculinity, and thus is freaked out because he is no longer performing heterosexuality effectively enough, and flees, shortly after getting together with Rose partially to try and preserve the heterosexuality he believes he needs to survive in his environment.
This is obviously incredibly unfair to Ilya, and likely devastates him after this moment as he would probably feel like Shane has rejected him for the fact that he’s trans (not true on Shane’s end, but Ilya doesn’t know that yet). This ends up giving him the push he needs to begin socially transitioning in small increments, cutting off his massive mane of hair (maybe with Svetlana’s help) and secretly purchasing a binder, now free to to do so without the fear of disturbing his relationship with Shane, even if he knows he wouldn’t be in danger if Shane turned out to have a negative reaction to his transitioning.
The ‘All The Things She Said’ party still happens, the depressed longing eye contact happens, and Shane is once again reminded of his unrelenting attraction to Ilya and his masculinity, which eventually leads to the talk with Rose the next day, where she helps him come to terms with the fact that he’s gay. In this conversation Shane also lets go of his internalized transphobia, finally feeling comfortable knowing he’s attracted to Ilya as a man and only as a man.
They reunite in Tampa (the PWHL didn’t start having All Stars until 2023-2024 so Ilya is probably only there on principle of being a hockey player, also wanting to flaunt his new look because he deserves to after all this time). Shane has his most memorable gay panic to date meeting a more masc-presenting Ilya at the bar, and the two begin reconciling during their stay, having the talk in Ilya’s hotel room like in the show where Shane comes out as gay and they discuss the possibility of them becoming something serious and the danger Ilya would face back in Russia.
Everything happens like it does in the show; Shane gets injured during a game and is out for the playoffs, Ilya visits him and is asked to come to the cottage, Ilya’s dad dies shortly after this visit. Once Ilya’s dad is dead, Ilya announces his retirement from the PWHL and starts taking testosterone in private with the knowledge that he can no longer return to Russia safely, however he no longer has any meaningful ties over there, and thus his willingness to return is mitigated significantly.
The Skip kiss happens when the Admirals win the cup, the Cottage happens and the two become official + meet Shane’s parents for the first time, and eventually Ilya gets his top surgery (Shane tending to him during his recovery period).
Soon after he’s recovered, Ilya ends up coming out of retirement to get drafted to the Centaurs (ignore how INSANELY unrealistic this is for the time, Shane probably helps convince Weibe to take him, and people can’t really argue with how insanely JACKED and HUGE Ilya has gotten while on testosterone).
Once in Ottawa, Ilya uses his Canadian citizenship to help him finally change his legal name in gender marker, now that it’s safer and more convenient for him to do so. After the outing happens, Shane and Ilya get married and Shane transfers to the Centaurs too, after which Ilya finally gets around to obtaining his phalloplasty.
Thus begins years of domesticity and trans joy between these guys as they continue their professional hockey careers together, Ilya facing plenty of transphobia from the league and other players sure, but finally feeling like his most authentic self, with a supportive team, a loving and supportive husband, and Anya!
Sorry that this was so long lol- this brainworm has been festering for a hot minute and I needed to get it all out lol
I hope you enjoyed the yap session if you made it this far!
Real talk gang, why are there like- zero fics out there about either Trans!Ilya or Trans!Shane in which either of them have had bottom surgery?
I’m not joking when I say that I tried looking for any transmasc Hollanov fics that have either of them having undergone bottom reassignment surgery, especially ones with Trans!Ilya who in my mind would 100% jump at the opportunity to get a phalloplasty (though that could be just personal headcanoning on my end-)
It’s odd because on one hand I kind of get it, many trans men don’t feel the need to get bottom surgery or don’t have much of if any bottom dysphoria to begin with (myself included), yet whenever I find a fic pertaining to transmasc Hollanov (especially Trans!Shane), it’s always pre-op/non-op? It could be a thing of just personal preference, however even with that explanation I can’t help but feel like there’s some sort of fetishy element to needing a transmasc character to have female reproductive organs, especially if that character is a bottom (this is especially icky to me when the writer isn’t a trans person, and if they only use female-anatomical language when referring to their genitalia-)
>Adding on to this, if you yourself are a trans person and you find that you can connect to pre/non-op Shane/Ilya, more power to you! I find that I greatly connect to Trans!Shane, and I don’t want this yapping spree to demean anyone who has that important experience with Trans!Shane or any other character you headcanon as trans and non-op!
Suffice it to say, I would like to pretty please call upon any Heated Rivalry fic writers (especially those who are trans) to PLEASE (if you can and would like to) write more transmasc Hollanov fics with one or both of them having had bottom surgery 🙏
(Sorry that this was so long- this has been bugging me for a bit and I needed to send it into the void-)
Two days after I posted this I hop onto Ao3 and check the Trans Shane Hollander tag only to find a fic with the most passive aggressive tagging telling the reader not to read it if they don’t want to read Shane getting his vagina penetrated 😭
It doesn’t help that the account who posted it reads as very fetishy to me as well- no authors notes with disclaimers on what type of language is used to describe Shane, no info on whether or not the author is trans or not or any other notes on the portrayal or what to expect like I see in most other fics with either trans Shane or Ilya, just straight up “if you don’t want to read trans Shane getting dicked down fuck off”-
And again- if you yourself are a trans person and find catharsis in writing/reading about pre/non-op Shane or Ilya I think that’s awesome and a very special thing to have! When I see things like this though, where there’s evidently little if any care about respecting trans identities in exchange for just something to get off to, it makes me feel gross-
Real talk gang, why are there like- zero fics out there about either Trans!Ilya or Trans!Shane in which either of them have had bottom surgery?
I’m not joking when I say that I tried looking for any transmasc Hollanov fics that have either of them having undergone bottom reassignment surgery, especially ones with Trans!Ilya who in my mind would 100% jump at the opportunity to get a phalloplasty (though that could be just personal headcanoning on my end-)
It’s odd because on one hand I kind of get it, many trans men don’t feel the need to get bottom surgery or don’t have much of if any bottom dysphoria to begin with (myself included), yet whenever I find a fic pertaining to transmasc Hollanov (especially Trans!Shane), it’s always pre-op/non-op? It could be a thing of just personal preference, however even with that explanation I can’t help but feel like there’s some sort of fetishy element to needing a transmasc character to have female reproductive organs, especially if that character is a bottom (this is especially icky to me when the writer isn’t a trans person, and if they only use female-anatomical language when referring to their genitalia-)
>Adding on to this, if you yourself are a trans person and you find that you can connect to pre/non-op Shane/Ilya, more power to you! I find that I greatly connect to Trans!Shane, and I don’t want this yapping spree to demean anyone who has that important experience with Trans!Shane or any other character you headcanon as trans and non-op!
Suffice it to say, I would like to pretty please call upon any Heated Rivalry fic writers (especially those who are trans) to PLEASE (if you can and would like to) write more transmasc Hollanov fics with one or both of them having had bottom surgery 🙏
(Sorry that this was so long- this has been bugging me for a bit and I needed to send it into the void-)
So I just learned what the term girlmoding is (a girlmoder is essentially a transmasc person who presents as feminine due to them not being out yet and/or wanting to avoid any transphobia and/or harassment related to their transness), and now I can’t stop thinking about the idea of Transmasc Ilya girlmoding for most of his and Shane’s situationship, only actually starting his social/medical transition later on down the line-
I have no idea how this would actually play out though- maybe Ilya tells Shane about his dysphoria during their first hookup (maybe through certain requests he has about where to touch him, ie no touching his chest or any vaginal penetration), and in doing so Shane becomes a safer person for Ilya to keep coming back to because of Shane’s knowledge and respect of Ilya’s boundaries and experiences (even if information about trans people at that time wasn’t the greatest, and even if Shane doesn’t fully comprehend what exactly Ilya is going through, especially if he hasn’t started transitioning-)
I’m sure that Ilya would have other support systems for this too (like Svetlana and Sasha, since I’m pretty sure he would’ve told them both about how he was feeling), though I’m not quite sure when exactly Ilya would start transitioning (maybe after Shane gets together with Rose?) I do really enjoy the idea of during the Tampa Allstar Game Shane reuniting with Ilya and having the most memorable gay panic of his life when he sees Ilya with shorter hair and presenting a tad more masculinely than before lol
I’ve been really enjoying this particular (currently) ongoing Hollanov fic that’s essentially a Game Changers: Role Model AU with the addition of Shane being a trans man, and thus having to quit hockey in order to pursue his most authentic self (I eat that shit up), so I decided to make some fanart for it! (With the cost of them being turned into furries lol-)
The fic is called A World That’s Ours and is written by storriebooked/charliespringed! You can read it here! :D
I’m super excited to see how the plot progresses for this fic! It’s absolute peak and I definitely recommend it!!
Bro I found a fire Hollanov AMV and I was bopping to it so hard but then I found out the song used is AI and I am DISTRAUGHT
EARTH SHATTERING MOMENT RIGHT THERE
So like if anyone has access to a non AI cover or version of this song my life will literally be yours 🙏 (please I’m literally begging you I am so heartbroken over this right now you have no idea-)
AU where Edmond Dantès is a closeted trans man secretly dating Mercédès who only begins his transition post Château D’lf and assumes his new identity as The Count as well as his true gender. When he returns to Paris after 20 or so years, he is floored that Mercédès still recognizes him, yet despite this she is more than happy to accept him as his true self despite all of the lost time (bisexual queen)
