Otter

idk man i just work here, she/her, adult

[ohfuff]

Kami would wear the coolest outfits or pajamas and there's no in-between

[poorlythoughtoutdescisions]

Grace, setting something on Rocky for a second because he needs his hands and Rockys the closest flat surface: Hold this for a sec

Rocky, absolutely aghast: Grace use rocky as TABLE question? Rocky is but furniture to Grace question? oh! oh! jail for Grace! jail for Grace for One Thousand Years!!!

[i-am-a-fish]

I try my best to be optimistic for the future because I don't think I'll gain anything of benefit from being pessimistic

[dogpuppy]

[randomitemdrop]

Item: Orb of Gorilla Summoning

[red-garden]

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

[orteil42]

controversial stance but i do wish i could live forever. i certainly live like i'm going to live forever. i take my time. realistically however my lifespan is dreadfully limited and there are things i've "been meaning to do" that i will never get around to. the Emoji Movie came out almost 10 years ago. in all that time on any random day i could've decided to sit down and watch it, and i did not. how many more decades will slip by like this? conceivably, it could be all the decades i have left. watching the Emoji Movie would not be, after all, a crucial use of my time. much better things to do. i could easily postpone it over and over and over until my final breath where it may not even register to me that i never did watch the Emoji Movie. no great loss, certainly; and yet i find myself intrigued by Patrick Stewart's involvement

[enba-and-luka]

[thememedaddy]

[mawofthemagnetar]

No, Word, I do not “want to rewrite this paragraph with copilot”. Similarly, I do not “want to hire a drunk chimp as a chauffeur”, so perhaps you can fuck off?

[asthedeathoflight]

My favorite quirk of American English is that since we're constantly exaggerating, sometimes it's more intense to say something slightly less intense. Because like, it means you actually thought about it.

"you look great!" - normal. Anyone could say this. Could be true or could just be lying to be nice. Very normal expected thing to say to someone

"you look good." - gay as hell thing to say to someone.

[rimonoroni2]

what people don’t understand about how adhd is disabling is that it’s not just getting temporarily distracted from, like, school work or hobbies. it’s getting distracted/being unable to motivate yourself to go to the doctor, eat regularly, do hygiene tasks, etc. it’s not knowing when or how long it will take you to do something, ANYTHING, and in many cases that thing is taking a shower or keeping your house from turning into a biohazard. it’s about being fundamentally incapable of controlling your attention and focus on anything, even and especially things you need to do to survive.

[moghedien]

One like nitpick thing that drives me crazy is when people call Blue Whales the largest whales or the largest living mammals or some shit like that

Because yes that is true. But when you frame it like that you are completely disregarding the absolutely batshit reality that Blue Whales are the largest animals that have ever existed on earth through the entire history of the planet and they are alive right now today

[slunch]

[cykelops]

I have had a lot of evil people say to me that nothing taste as good as skinny feels and every time im like no im pretty sure food tastes really super good actually

[starg0ld]

[threedollarsdotcom]

oh that poison damage I've been taking? just talking to my mom yknow

[butchyena]

this is the funniest fucking billboard possible. who the fuck paid for this