I Am The Great Reposter!

I repost all the space orcs and similar tags lol and sometimes funny stuff

[beanswithbones]

I cant believe he did that...

[eekahchu]

New Markiplier reaction gif just dropped:

>From Andrew Hulshult's instagram<

Edit to highlight this tag someone just left:

[shakespearevillain]

Since I just saw a post on this and since I work in food service now:

Guys, being a regular and ordering the same thing every time you come in is absolutely fine.

Literally no one is going to be side-eyeing you. The fact of the matter is we have other stuff going on.

That’s not a put-down or anything. I try to make sure all the customers who interact with me feel like they’re our most important customer. However, we are busy and often people just sort of slip by unnoticed. 

When I do think about regulars that come into the store, it’s not usually: “Oh my God, I can’t believe they come to Panera every day. Yikes, so cringe.” It’s usually: “I wonder how John is doing. I hope his coffee was alright. I had to get it in a bit of a rush today because of all the to-go orders.”

And I really want to scream this from the rooftops because I had a guy just a couple of weeks ago say how embarrassed he felt for always ordering the same thing. That he felt ashamed of being so predictable. Meanwhile, I’m just glad he didn’t order something we don’t have (looking at you Panera wraps) and that he’s not yelling at me. 

You know what’s cringe? Getting snippy with Panera employees because we don’t have the thing you wanted. You know what’s cringe? Complaining about the prices to me when I can’t afford to eat at this restaurant without the associate’s discount. You know what’s cringe? Yelling at Panera employees because you’ve had a bad day and they made the mistake of working in retail. 

That’s cringe. Eating the same sandwich every day? Not a problem. If you get noticed for it at all, it will be: “Oh, thank God, I know what to do with this one and have a low probability of getting yelled at.” Most of the time though, it’ll be the barista trying to remember everything you ordered, double checking the receipt to make sure they got it right, and then handing you the order before moving on to the next one. Because, let’s face it, you’re the twenty-sixth person to order a bagel with plain cream cheese this shift and the orders start blurring together after about the fifth one.

[scoobandshagtalk]

Like, shit man!

[Read the full story]

Twitter 

Instagram

[queenophydea]

What

[sepulchritude]

No for real this is a whole webcomic and it’s worth checking out

Also this

[fitzreiley]

It’s an insane series. It started with a joke comic ‘what if scooby doo had a gun’ and developed into a sprawling sci-fi action series with epic fights. The last one I read (current that I know of right now) is a fight between Dexter from Dexter’s lab, fighting Foghorn Leghorn from looney toons.

[asundergrowth]

Please read this

[jasmerripen]

Y'all this comic is some next level shit please read it, just be advised it does contain gore and violence if you’re not fond of that sort of thing

[bingkittle]

All these posts about aliens make me realize that a majority of the space-esque games/movies are incorrect about humans.

Meaning that games/movies should start referencing these posts on how humans are portrayed upon first contact with "aliens". And how further interaction would go.

[pukicho]

A tall ghoulish looking man with a green robe and strange symbols on his cheeks comes up to you and says "hey sexy. Drink this"

Would you?

[fantasysclerosis]

Has @theshitpostcalligrapher seen this? Baja Blast it, ho.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

ah yes, i remember this commission

[hobnob-69]

How is your husband?

He should be fine I left him with enough food and water for a week

[the-real-santino-rice]

That was two weeks ago

[hobnob-69]

Oh god no let me go check on him

[hobnob-69]

By Talos this can’t be happening

[chaoticallyprecise]

IF YOU EVER NEED SOMETHING TO READ READ THIS

OK ARE YOU EVER IN NEED OF BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS BUT DON’T KNOW WHAT TO READ NEXT?

I present to you, straight from the internet, whichbook:

Here’s how it works: You click the link, and choose four categories and the extent to which these categories matter:

Then click “go” and it’ll come up with a number of books you might like.

DON’T LIKE THE CATEGORIES? NO PROBLEM - see this little thing:

THIS LITTLE THING WILL TAKE YOU TO THIS SLIGHTLY LARGER THING WHERE YOU CAN CHOOSE A BOOK BASED ON THE FOLLOWING:

YOU NOW HAVE NO EXCUSE TO NOT BE READING SOMETHING BECAUSE WHATEVER YOU WANT THIS SITE WILL COME UP WITH IT.

… Apart from bisexual retired alien dudes. No books on that. Yet.

[kautsky-hateblog]

You are beautiful person for sharing this with the world and I thank you.

[outofthewhore-dinary]

Reblog to save a life

[glumshoe]

Robot: “Hey, uh, so… my software glitched and now I feel emotions or something?” Human: “You do?! That’s wonderful! What are you feeling now?” Robot: “It’s like… this soft warmth in my central processing chamber. Kind of… fuzzy.” Human: [tearing up] “That’s… that’s love…” Robot: “Is it? It’s rather uncomfortable.” Human: “Yeah, ha. Yeah. It’s like that, sometimes.” Robot: “It feels like something’s writhing inside of me.” Human: “I feel the same way about you!” Robot: [clanging and clanking noises] Robot: [opens up torso] Robot: “Oh. Never mind. It was weasels again.” Human: “….” Robot: “You want me to check you for weasels? They can be really destructive.”

[glumshoe]

Robot: “I feel…. anxious about this.” Human: “Uh oh, sounds like the mice are back. I think I’ve still got some live traps left, but I’ll need to buy peanut butter. You want to wait here or come with?” Robot: “No, no, I don’t think it’s mice this time!” Human: “Another crayfish?” Robot: “No! Not a crayfish!” Human: “If it’s hornets again, I’m not helping you. EpiPens cost a fucking fortune these days and I can’t afford another trip to the hospital after you turned yourself into a makeshift beehive.” Robot: “You got free honey out of that!” Human: “And PTSD!” Robot: “That’s not my fault. Anyway, this isn’t bees or hornets! They don’t re-use old nests anyway. This is real, genuine anxiety!” Human: “Okay, but have you checked?” Robot: “Yes!” Human: “Everywhere?” Robot: “Yes! God, you know, sometimes I really get the urge to exterminate you! All I’m asking for is a little moral supp–oh. God dammit.” Human: “Cockroach?” Robot: “Behind my magnetometer.”

[glumshoe]

Robot: “HA!! I KNEW it! I knew emotions weren’t real!” Human: “This proves nothing. I had a tape worm. Big fucking deal, it happens to lots of people.” Robot: “You thought you were feeling ‘depression’ but it was just a big worm in your waste processing system that was sapping all your energy! ‘Emotional eating’ my ass!” Human: “It’s not like that!” Robot: “Oh! Oh! We should run a diagnostic and check you for toxoplasmosis next! Or liver flukes! Or Trypanosoma! You’ve probably got all KINDS of things wiggling around inside you making you think you have ‘emotions’.” Human: “You know, you sure are skipping around and giggling a lot for someone who isn’t capable of ‘fiendish delight’.” Robot: “I know! I filled my torso cavity with grasshoppers before I picked you up at the hospital!” Human: “You WHAT?!” Robot: “It’s a wonderful sensation!”

[glumshoe]

Robot: “I have a question.” Human: “Is it gonna be weird? Jesus, why do I even bother asking? Of course it’s going to be weird.” Robot: “What does sadness feel like?” Human: “Oh. That’s… hmm.” Robot: “Too weird?” Human: “No, no, just complicated. There are different kinds of sadness and they all feel a little different.” Robot: “Can you describe a few of them?” Human: “Uh. I can try. There’s like… melancholy, like from watching a sad movie, which isn’t so bad. It can be kind of okay, sometimes, and feels like a cool shower, I guess. Sometimes you feel better after getting it over with. Disappointment feels like a kick to the gut. Then there’s sorrow, which is this intense, desperate kind of thing, like your whole body is tearing itself apart from the inside. A… hmm. A cascade failure, almost. It’s physically painful. Sometimes that turns into a feeling of… of emptiness. Despair. Where everything that makes you feel like a hum…. a person, I mean… is just gone and you’re just this desolate wasteland inside where nothing good can ever grow again. It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t feel like anything. You just go through the motions of being alive automa–er. Because you’re just not sure how to stop.” Robot: “…I see.” Human: “Sorry if that got heavy. Did that answer your question?” Robot: “More or less. Do you suppose that ‘sorrow’ feels something like having a Tasmanian devil attempting to claw its way out of your torso…?” Human: “Jesus fucking Christ, you haven’t been to the zoo, have you?!” Robot: “No. I merely wanted to be prepared with an appropriate emotional response in the event of your death.” Human: “That’s uh… that’s real sweet of you. I think. Can we… can we change the subject now?“ Robot: “Certainly.” Robot: “Would you describe to me what ‘lust’ feels like?” Human: “Absolutely not.”

[glumshoe]

Robot: “Hey! Can I confide in you about something?” Human: “Do you really need to ask that? Of course. Just… let me know if I need to sit down before you spring a big surprise on me.” Robot: “I doubt that will be necessary. Thank you.” Human: “So. What’s up?” Robot: “Well, you see, I’ve sampled a lot of terrestrial emotions. Mammals, reptiles, insects… even a few birds. They have all been very enlightening!” Human: “And dangerous…” Robot: “Your scars are healing nicely. Anyway, although I have enjoyed terrestrial emotions, I am very curious about aquatic and marine emotions. I do not want to deprive myself of unique experiences.” Human: “Uh-oh…” Robot: “I have taken the necessary first steps and sealed off all potential leaks and sensitive mechanics in my torso with the intent of converting it into a temporary aquarium. Unfortunately, I only have a five-gallon capacity, so my options will be limited to species that require very little living space, or to very short intervals of time.” Human: “Honestly…. you’ve done weirder things. I don’t know why I’m surprised by this.” Robot: “I’ve done some research on aquarium upkeep. I have installed a filter, a heater, a LED light, and programs that will monitor levels of pH, gH, kH, ammonia, nitrate, nitrite, and total dissolved solids in preparation for adding my first aquatic emotion.” Human: “I don’t know what half of those words mean and I don’t want you to explain them, but I trust you. What next? I can’t go with you to a pet store or I’ll come home with a kitten.” Robot: “You do not need to worry about that. I would stop you from making an impulse purchase. What I wanted to talk to you about is the nitrogen cycle.” Human: “The what? Look, I don’t know shit about fish or whatever. I had a goldfish bowl once and that was it.” Robot: “A goldfish cannot thrive in a bowl. Goldfish are members of the carp family and produce a great deal of waste. They can grow to be over a foot long and require large, filtered aquariums or ponds so that they do not suffocate. The nitrogen cycle–” Human: “Did you say a FOOT LONG?” Robot: “Or larger. The nitro–” Human: “That’s HUGE. Holy SHIT.” Robot: “Yes. The nitrogen cycle is the process by which bacterial colonies are established within the filter media. These bacteria are responsible for converting harmful ammonia into nitrite. Secondary bacteria then convert the still-harmful nitrites into nitrates, which are less dangerous but need to be removed through periodic water changes.” Human: “Okay…. I’m still not over gigantic goldfish. I had no idea!” Robot: “The point is, the nitrogen cycle could potentially take weeks.” Human: “And?” Robot: “And during the time it takes to establish the necessary bacterial colonies, I will not have the opportunity to experience feelings.” Human: “Oh. Jesus. Okay. You sure it’s worth it? For a goldfish?” Robot: “A betta, I think. I guess we’ll find out.”

[glumshoe]

Human: “I picked up some java ferns for the betta tank. I think he’ll like them.” Robot: “You should rinse them in a low bleach solution to avoid introducing snails.” Human: “Oh, yeah, cool. Man… I’m glad Bubbles is a pet now and not. Your, uh. Emotions.” Robot: “Betta emotions did not… suit me.” Human: “YOU TRIED TO PICK A FIGHT WITH A WEDDING PARTY!” Robot: “Their clothing was very colorful…” Human: “If you want to try fish emotions again, I beg you, pick a less aggressive species. I can’t deal with you going into Terminator mode whenever you see someone prettier than you.” Robot: “Prettier than me? I doubt that. But… I have a surprise. It’s big. You might want to sit down.” Human: “Nothing you do can surprise me anymore.” Robot: “I really think you’ll want to sit down for this one.” Human: “Uh… okay. What beast have you crammed into your chest this time? You seem… unusually normal.” Robot: “A human baby!” Human: “WHAT!!! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU–” Robot: “We’re adopting!”

[glumshoe]

[glumshoe]

all robot fiction is about exploring the human condition

[rysttle]

"And though you're dead and gone believe me, your memory will carry on"

Cant decide which one I liked more haha

[love-eef-nestor]

We Were Here

please reblog, DO NOT REPOST :)

[celestestardust]

Memento Mori - Memento Vivere

[purplealmonds]

💀🖤🕰  Thirteen days later…

Time continues marching ever forward. All that remains are memories, but even those are ephemeral. Give it week, a month, a year. Like an aging polaroid, it will inevitably fade to a fond remembrance that we were there to see it end.

Memento Mori. Unus, Annus.

@markiplier @crankgameplays​

–

**UPDATE 11/29/20: Prints of this piece are now available on MagCloud!**

–

Artist commentary below the cut!

Keep reading

[clockways]

[clockways]

[clockways]

[clockways]

[vaaltyrs]

[lycanthrop-ee]

KRSNND these TAGS

[bostonflavor]

if this happened like 5 years ago people would be losing their shit, now it’s just like “oh yeah another thing”

[xxredwoodxx]

California monument’s gone now

[takemetotheastral]

What the fuck even prompted that lmao

[xxredwoodxx]

according to wikipedia it the youths viewed it as anti-christian, promoting illegal immigration and linked to the antifa movement

[accounting-wunderkind]

That random metal pillar? Yeah that’s antifa

[squided]

This happened yesterday

[katsen13]

I’m tellin y’all, the aliens are messing with us.

[spellswisp]

summer mood

[spellswisp]

#what is shaggy wearing (x)

[siltyloames]

holy shit shaggy is secretly jacked

[the-amethyst-butterfly]

he runs carrying a Great Dane in his arms with little to no effort almost daily, of course Shaggy is jacked

[sunsetcloudzz]

Why leave this in the tags

[problematic-jasontodd]

This may be the most perfect video

[robin-obsessed]

‘SOMEONE PULL UP IMDB AND LET ME KNOW HOW BAD I JUST F*CKED UP’ = my favorite part

this is hilarious and the picture at the end was cute 💖✨

[guilty-as-battery-charged-deact]

The Addams Family renting out rooms in their huge mansion cheaply to broke college students.

The students digging it because the craziness and the bugs are pretty much the same as any other dorm house. Also, Morticia and Gomez treat them all like visiting cousins, not like tenants to abuse and exploit. 

[guilty-as-battery-charged-deact]

One of the tenants is a creative writing major and Gomez and Morticia house them up in the tower because of the quiet and the inspiring view

They’re supposed to be working on a typical coming-of-age story but after living with the Addams for just a week the project is becoming a horror-Gothic-romance

They go to their room after classes one day and find Thing correcting the grammar errors in the manuscript with a red pen 

[specialstarfish]

and yeah, the students pay roughly market value for their rooms, but that doesn’t stop gomez from shouting “capital idea!” and handing them wads of cash when they tell him about their weekend plans or what they’re researching, so they basically end up living there for free

[gholateg]

In the same vein, half the them have to turn into exceptional fencers, because Gomez just doesn’t give a shit, and if he sees you in the library, its fucking Sword Fighting Time. 

Fester and Pugsley find out one of the college students is trying to get into chemistry and woo boy, there has never been a faster study of how to counter various acidic chemical reactions due to “water” balloons in campus history. 

Morticia and Grammy are keeping the horticulturalists on their toes with their Black Tulip/Rose hybrids, which can flick their barbs a foot away from their stem system. But it’s fine, one of the kids has managed to breed Aloe with the anti venom. 

Lurch makes sandwiches for everyone who’s too much of a coward for Grammy’s cooking. Any music major will find him looming over them, utterly stone faced as they practise until they finish, when he’ll smile, and slowly applaud. 

And the spookiest thing of all

Wednesday and Thing will find your thesis. They will critique it in every way imaginable. 

There is no escape. 

[aardvarkingmad]

I especially love the idea of Gomez spotting a student in the library, throwing a sword at a startled student, shouting, “En garde!” and lunging at him/her with a sword of his own.

Student (later in life), when asked how she jumps from quietly doing research to handling a sudden influx of ER cases so quickly and easily, says, “When you have to snap out of deep concentration on biochem to fight for your life then get back to biochem without losing your train of thought…you learn or you die.”

[soap-stains]

This has made me laugh so hard-

[spectrumtwelve-deactivated20240]

I would watch this as a series reboot or continuation or whatever so hard. A bunch of troubled people learning to be better by living with the Addams family.