[catcrumb]

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 78

Shane Hollander (Heated Rivalry)

Chuuya Nakahara (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Preminger (Barbie: The Princess and the Pauper)

Remaining time: 2 hours 13 minutes

[jumpy-b]

Nails hair hips heels ass fat lips real purse full big bills bitch I'm a big deal legs legs face eyes thin waist thick thighs you me you wish new phone who this pussy puss puss give them cunt cunt cunt bitch mama yes god when you pop that tongue bitch this whole club is my runway run bitch y'all 5 4 3 2s I'm a 1 bitch girl what did that girl just say girl ooh girl I don't dance I work work I don't play I slay I don't walk I strut strut strut and then sasshay but I don't work for free that's not the tea hunty so make it rain on me and I might let you see watcha gonna let them see

[fairycosmos]

apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

[pangur-and-grim]

she never looks relaxed

[pangur-and-grim]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

if dogs could use the internet and talk their incel communities would definitely have some insane shit to say about spaying and neutering [remembers this isn't normal to think about] the weather is warmer lately did anyone notice that

[maxknightley]

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

[maxknightley]

one has you making posts like "okay but if the author UNDERSTOOD the POLITICAL IMPLICATIONS of the story they were telling, and leaned into it, it would actually be a really interesting exploration of..."

the other has you pacing your bedroom at one in the morning going "why. why would you ever in a million years do it like that. genuinely what possible thought process was involved. was the writer possessed by a fucking ghost or something."

[threedollarsdotcom]

ccoughde up a postbal;

[thingymagics]

this cat is AWESOME

[ziggystarling]

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[teaboot]

Straights can come to the sexuality festival because at least they also have sex. Asexuals cannot come.

New stupid opinion just dropped, you may only attend the civil rights event if you arrive on site riding an enthusiastically consenting second party like a horse at the Kenfucky Derby

[zalein]

@teaboot #My tranny ass IS asexual you absolute ass#Where do you want me? Handing out sugar cubes from the fucking Cuck Chair??#Going to pride and leaving my Asexual behind in a hot car with the windows cracked#SEXUALITY FESTIVAL????

[teaboot]

ruh roh

[itsalwaysdark]

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

[ddeck]

there's like a thousand ways for a shower to work and you wouldn't even imagine half of them until you have to take a shower at a new place

[stackofturtles]

I have come into possession of an ornithology book from the 1930's and they had such a way of describing birds back then, modern publishers of birding booking should take note! Here are some of the bangers.

yes, this book refers to the anhinga as a water-turkey

[paperandpencilsandskips]

Bro last night was a special glue

[rslashrats]

dude we are just like twins except we were born at two completely different times and we are not related and we look nothing alike too

[stroebe2]

[playthings2007]

Completely lost all concepts of joke comprehension for a moment because my instinct was to register this as a new type of kitchencel