occasionally subtle
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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if i look back, i am lost
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oozey mess
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@theartofmadeline
JBB: An Artblog!
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@autotunetearss
> AUTOTUNE TEARS /prologue .
“do you trust me?”
>>LYNA-9TEEN-(SHE/HER)reqs open!! :3
🚩- >17, homophobes, antis boyliife twt engagers, i do not/ will not write noncon/inc*st!!!
🎧- 2hollis, rommulas, conceal, natesib, toysolider, cece natalie, lucy bedroque, bassvictim, saska, jane remover, mayvi, TWICE, aespa, red velvet, FKA twigs
MASTERLIST-
FEIGNING STABILITY (2HOLLIS X READER) -
||001||
BOYFRIEND (2HOLLIS X READER) -
ONESHOT
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
this is canon
defending a alleged rapist is so crazy to me saying u “need proof” and that its “unfair to jonah” . im genuinely getting secondhand embarrassment
someone needs to start making jane remover fics NOWWW NOW NOW
im fucking crying
guys idk when the next part of feigning stability will be out because im so inconsistent but ill make it up to yall when it does promise
“hi, i’m hollis.” SOAKED
new fic idea??? 🙂
who up green sporeing they valley
hiii do you have a master list??? i love your writing it's sooooo comforting to me and it feels like im watching a movie lolll if that makes sense
omg tysm!! i do! i only have 2 peices written at the moment, but its pinned on my profile in my intro and ill be adding my future works :)
i need to excuse myself.
might be a little while for part 2 of feigning stability i want to make sure i’m going somewhere with this plot so i can complexify (is that a word?? idk) the characters individually
perv hollis PUHLEASE ILY
YESS ITS COMING!!! I also plan on doing a perv!hollis oneshot while im at it maybe :33
>>BOYFRIEND
" 'cause I can be your best friend, worst friend, I can be your boyfriend."
tags : smut, hollis x fem!reader, cursing, car sex, heavy drinking, drunk sex, no aftercare, oral (f receiving) cheating (maybe?? technically??), degradation, mild teasing, pet names, riding, dumbfication, overstim, hollis lowk is a condesending narcissist, creampie
word count: 3k
It was 1 am in LA, and it was the one night you had time away from your life to get away and be someone else for the night. In the third club you've been to, unable to even count on your hands how many drinks you've had, all you wanted to do was just forget, even if it was just for that one night, and you'd have to deal with the consequences of whatever happened after the next day. The strobing lights and the humidity of bodies clashing all but elevated the high you were on. Downing just about the hundredth drink of the night, you push yourself away from the bar and towards the dance floor.
You don't think you'd been this drunk in your life, but you've also never felt this anguished in your life. Usually, it was very out of the norm for you to be unable to fix a problem yourself; you were very independent in that way. But when your boyfriend, who you thought had committed everything to you, just as you did to him, takes it upon himself to go out and drunkenly forget about you for some other girl, what are you to do? It wasn't that easily forgettable, of course, it wasn't. You loved him. But you also aren't one to forgive and forget. But tonight, all you'd wanted to do was forget.
Swaying to the music blasting from the speakers, the alcohol coursing through your veins was suddenly amplified by the bass flowing into your ears and throughout your body. But as much as you danced, you couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching you. The feeling was nestling under your skin and making a home there, that would only go away if you were to acknowledge it. Looking from the bathroom and back around to the club couches, you searched for those eyes, like they were pulling you, calling you towards them. Stumbling out from the crowd, you followed the path that was carved out in alcohol and ecstasy, scanning the room not to find what you were looking for, but who was looking for you. Immediately, you registered that long blonde hair amongst the crowd as someone you had long once known; Hollis.
Hollis also wasnt someone that was easily forgettable for you, he was once someone you loved too. It wasnt like he did something as drastic as cheating on you or anything, but distance pushed the two of you apart as Hollis let his fame get to his head, and you were pushed to the side at the expense of his ego. To you, he had no time for anyone but himself, and you couldn't feel as committed to someone who just wasn't as committed as you were to them. But tonight, instead of pushing you away, he was pulling you in, and you let him.
Walking towards the couch and attempting to avoid tripping, you tried not to be pushed off your drunken high horse. He wasn't gonna be the one to blow your high tonight. His eyes were already dark, and you just couldn't shake his intense stare, even as you sat down. You could just smell the weed and alcohol on him, but beneath it all, you could still smell him, and thousands of memories youd hoped to discard when meeting someone new came rushing back.
"Hollis? What are you doing here?"
"I could be asking you the same thing." His eyes were low, but when you looked at him, it felt like you could still see that person he used to be under it all. The famous facade couldnt fool you; you still knew who he was beneath it.
" 'm surprised you wanna act like you still remember me, you know, after the ego got to your head and everything." You don't know if it was the alcohol or the pent-up anger you had from never saying anything when you had the chance, but whatever courage was pumping into your heart right now, youd hope it would last throughout the night if you were gonna make this encounter any longer than it was.
Hollis' eyes traced your figure, his eyes coming from the spot you were sitting, and back to your eyes, like he was peeling away at all the layers you gained since the day you'd left.
"You know, I really missed you, y/n." You couldn't tell whether he was lying or not, because his voice was laced with condescension. But the way he was looking at you, you could tell he did; one way or another. Taking a second to exhale the breath you didn't know you were holding, you break the silence.
"I have a boyfriend, Hollis."
"No, no, I know." You'd figured after all these months, he'd gone off onto things better, another girl, a new apartment, new projects, forgotten all about you, but in reality, in the dark of his own room, he would open your Instagram once in a while, and reach his hand below his sweatpants, thinking about how much he missed how you tasted and writhed under his tongue. But throughout those times, opening your Instagram to reminisce, he'd see you smiling next to a new guy, and light another blunt to cool off, and forget.
He reached towards your thigh, moving closer until you could practically feel his lips caressing the shell of your ear. "But I know you aren't here with your boyfriend, so why don't you come out and get some fresh air 'wme? Light a blunt? Sit in my car? Like we used to, y/n. Old times." You couldnt lie, you were here to make your boyfriend want to forgive, he does it first; you do it worse. But was Hollis really the right option to go with? Undeniably, again, you still did love your boyfriend. But was running off with your ex, drunkenly for the night, really the better choice? Racking through the thousands of possibilities and bad choices you could make for the night, you ultimately decided on the worst one.
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
Before you knew it, Hollis began trailing open-mouthed kisses down your neck onto your clothed breasts. straddling him in the front seat of his car, his fingers dug into the soft plush of your hips, eliciting a broken exhale from you.
His free hand moved upward to pull at your top, and you raised up your arms to give him the room to take it off.
"Fuck — missed these tits 's much baby." He rested his head close to your collarbones, inhaling your scent before continuing his assault towards your breasts. You grip his shoulders and bite your lip when he sucks dark purple marks into your chest, soothing them with his tongue after.
"Wanna make sure you remember this, baby."
"holli, please.." his fingers were breaking at your waistband, teasingly pulling it back and letting it snap back onto your skin, causing you to shiver.
"Hm? Please what? What does my pretty girl want? Hm?" Hollis always loved teasing you, making you wait. He loved the way it made him feel to make you feel just as desperate as he was anytime he saw you, and it just made you need him more.
The fact that he's making you beg, now, a seal of your want— caused you to second guess yourself, that guilt sinking low into your chest. But ultimately, you were too deep in to back out now, but deep down, you also knew; you really wanted this.
"need you to fuck me, holli."
"Yeah, thats what i figured youd say." He let a low moan slip his lips, a sign of the mutual desperation building between the two of you. "Get in the backseat."
You climbed into the backseat, waiting for him to follow. When he got back in the car, he captured your lips into a searing kiss, your entire body heating up; and you could just feel yourself getting wetter by the second.
"Hollis—" He cut you off by placing a finger into your mouth, parting your lips to invite himself in.
"Shh, just let me make you feel good, okay?" He removed his fingers from your mouth for a second, a string of saliva connecting his fingers and your lips. Wiping your lips, Hollis reached behind you to unclasp your bra.
"Wanna see all of you." Bra falling to the floor, hollis started kissing down your body, down to the spot where you needed him most. Pulling down your skirt, he let out what sounded like a whimper, just seeing how wet you were.
"God, but you swear you don't miss me." He skimmed his long finger over your soaked panties, causing you to shiver and let out a desperate whine.
"Don't tease.." he looked up at you, and you looked back at him. All that was in his eyes was a look of sheer hunger, pupils blown out in pure lust. Moving his head back down and removing the soaked panties, he looked back up at you again.
" 'm gonna ask you again, you miss me?"
"Hollis—" You didn't wanna lie, but you also didn't wanna give him the chance of knowing that you really did.
" 's a yes or no question baby, do you miss me?" he looked up at you, and something about that look, you could see the pure desperation in his eyes. Still, you just couldn't say it. "Holli, I cant—" You were cut off by him shoving the discarded underwear into your mouth, shutting you up. "You don't wanna tell me the truth, ill let her talk." You didn't know who her was, but it became very apparent the moment he shoved two fingers into your cunt, ripping a broken moan from you.
"God you're so wet— this how bad you've missed me? hm? You missed how good I play with this clit?" You couldn't muster up the strength to do anything but whine. He curled his fingers upwards, hitting your spot and stretching you so deliciously. "God, you're really a sick girl, you know that? Did you think about me when your boyfriend fingers you like this?" He spreads your legs farther, placing your leg onto his shoulder for leverage. Pressing his tongue flat against your clit, he moaned purely at the taste of you. At this point, all you could do was let out a string of whimpers and whines, grabbing onto his head and trailing your hand down to pull at the hairs at the nape of his neck, pulling more whimpers from him. "Missed how you taste 's much baby.."
He was eating you like he'd never get something like this back, like it was his last meal. Speeding his fingers up, you bucked your hips toward his face, throwing your head back, too deep in ecstasy to even consider whatever choice you've made. You could feel that coil in your stomach, pulling harshly like it was gonna snap. You twitch, whimpering his name.
"Holli, 'm so close..." you whine, muffled by the underwear shoved into your mouth, shaking in his hold. He says nothing, continuing eating you like you were actively disappearing. Pressing his tongue against your clit, the coil building up finally snaps. You tug on his hair, riding through your orgasm, coming down from your high. But even after, he continues eating, humping into the seat. At this point, you're purely shaking, still sensitive and whining from your last high.
"I cant.." Hollis doesn't look up at you, he doesn't stop. He wanted to make sure you remembered this. If you didn't wanna admit you missed him, he wanted to prove he could give you something worth missing. He knew just the spots to wreck you, the spots that could leave you shaking and begging for more. digging your nails for some type of stabilization at this point, you're shoved into another mind numbing orgasm. He obviously didn't plan on stopping anytime soon, but you didn't know how much more of this you could take. Just as you felt like you could start sobbing, he ripped a scream from you when he shoved a third finger deeper into your poor, sopping cunt.
"Holli— 's too much!!" You cried out, trying to escape from his grip. Your back arches off the seat his tongue speeding up on your clit until you were a broken, sobbing, pathetic mess. "Bet your boyfriend cant make you come like this, hm? Bet he doesn't even know you like coming this many times." It was true, you did, and he didn't. Anytime Hollis pleasured you, he always made sure you'd be fucked out by the next morning. But you could never admit any of this to Hollis, no matter how bad you missed it. "His perfect girl just writhing under her exes tongue — fuck." He licked a long stripe up from your entrance to your clit, you finally broke. In a desperate sob, you squirt all over his fingers and tongue, painting his seats with your arousal. Removing his fingers from your cunt and into his mouth, he sucked your juices off his fingers, removing the soaked panties from your mouth to replace them with his tongue. "Wan' you to taste yourself on my tongue." Moaning into the kiss, you pull his shirt off, throwing it to the floor of the car.
In one swift movement, he was already unbuckling his belt, shoving his pants down his legs. He was already rock hard, tip flushed and pre glistening at the tip from humping the seat while he assaulted your clit. Moving back up to kiss you, which was unusually soft in comparison to the way he just wrecked you.
"Want you to ride me. Show me how much you missed this dick, baby." He got up, sitting in the seat of the car. At this point, you were just desperate to be relieved from this tension. He wanted you to work for it, that way he at least had some type of proof to look back on that you really did miss him.
Straddling him on the seat, you grabbed the base of his dick, lining it with your entrance. You looked up at him, and his gaze was so intense all you could feel was belittled. If you weren't gonna outright say you missed him, he was gonna make you show it. Actions speak louder than words anyway, right?
Easing yourself down on his cock, you slid onto him with ease, your mutual arousal combining at your thighs. You’re both moaning from the sensation, your sloppy bounces causing an obscene noise with your wetness. "God— fuck y/n.." Hollis rested his hands at your hips, his grip firm, trying not to take control and just ruin you right there. Your past orgasms still left you shivering, your walls fluttering around him.
Your eyes fluttered shut, and you buried your head into the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms around him. "Missed this s'much.." His eyebrows were furrowed, eyes glassy, and he had a look on his face of pure bliss. His fingertips were bruising into your skin at this point, repositioning his hands so he could take control.
"Fuck, can't take this..." He began thrusting into you in time with your bounces, holding your hips down onto his pelvis. He was thrusting into you at an agonizing pace, eliciting sobs from you. "So so good 'fme— taking me like this while your boyfriend’s probably at home wondering where you are? Hm?" You couldn't respond, your hole tightening around him in response. "God, you're so fucking sick." He chuckled, a boyish grin painting his face. He was still the same egotistical fuck he was the day you left him, but this time, it pulled a different reaction from you.
You felt yourself getting close again, scratching his bare back with your acrylics as his thrusts became more sloppy.
"God.. love you so much.. missed you so bad... been thinking about you since the day you left baby.." Hollis was rambling, and you couldn't respond with anything but desperate sobs and whines. "Fuck, need you to come for me, show me how much you missed this dick baby, show me how much better I fuck you than him."
Seconds later, you were gushing around him, trembling as he held your hips down. He continued his abuse to your poor, bruised cervix, reaching that spot he knew like the back of his hand.
"Holli— please! I cant take it!!" You were covered in slick at this point, and he kept going.
"Just a little more.. Fuck, 'm so close.." You felt him throbbing around you, his thrusts getting more desperate, and you could just feel how close he was. "I know baby I know.. but jus' wanna make sure.. every night, when he fucks you, you'll remember, it'll never be as good as i did." Pressing his fingers onto your clit, you finally break for the last time.
"Gonna come inside— make sure you remember this.. fuck.. leave it leaking out of you... please— let me fill you up.." He finally finishes after a couple more sloppy thrusts, spilling inside of you with desperate whimpers leaving his lips. You both finally still, coming down from your mutual high.
You pull off of him, both of your arousals leaking from you. Hollis grabs you again, shoving his fingers into your swollen cunt, fucking his cum back inside of you. "cant let that go to waste..."
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
Hollis started the car, getting ready to drive you home, leaving you with something you'd regret the next day, but forever remember. Ultimately, you really did miss this, but it's a life you don't think you'd ever return to, no matter how good he made you feel.
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
its 2 am and i cant stop thinking about boyfriend…
lord i see what youve done for others
>>FEIGNING STABILITY ||001||
ᡕᠵデᡁ᠊╾━ ~~~
* tags : nerd!hollis x fem!reader, academic rivals, enemies to lovers, slow burn (🦦), pervy!hollis, ill edit if i missed anything 🙃
word count : 1.3k (not proofread)
You were never particularly hostile towards anyone. You had two categories in your head: Like and indifference. You never thought of hating anyone. You never had to. Because no one would ever exceed you. Not academically, of course. However, you only had one exception, and that was Hollis.
Hollis has never exceeded you; of course, because no one did. But he’s gotten pretty close, and his smart-assery and quick wit has successfully enabled you to mentally justify hating him.
Although you only had a couple of classes with him, only having to endure the 90 minute max statistics and biology lectures, you still found the minutes stretching into what felt like hours anytime he sat in your vicinity with his insufferable questions and smug smirks or comments every couple minutes.
“Why does the proton gradient move in this direction, and not the opposite?” You knew the answer, of course you did. He probably knew it too. But of course, his voice just had to be heard. It was like he did it to intentionally anger you, like in his mind, everyone knew the answer but him, and he just wanted to “clarify for anyone else.”
“Because the direction of the proton gradient is determined by the electron transport chain and membrane permeability.” Hollis nods, taking no notes. He knew the answer. As you anticipated. Forcing yourself to disregard his provoking tone and infuriating placidity, you continue taking your notes with your usual haste, as if your knowledge was actively fleeting if you didn’t.
After what felt like you crossed the Great Wall of China and back, class finally ended, and you were free from the chains of what was Hollis Frazier. Over the time that you’ve begun this class to now, you’ve known all but two things about Hollis:
Hollis was smart; that was a given. You couldn’t deny that he was, regardless of what name you wanted to call him, or how much your hatred for him nestled deep into your veins and into your bloodstream, boiling to the point of evaporation. You picked up a couple of things about him being top of his class in high school from unintentionally eavesdropping on whatever conversations of no substance that he had, but that didn’t worry you, seeing as you were too. But no matter what, something about his utter nonchalance was unsettling to you. How could he be so laid back when he had a position to uphold? It’s not easy to maintain a spot next to you anyway! But no matter how much you studied over the weekend for that upcoming exam, you'd look on your Instagram feed to see Hollis posted up on the couch in the background of some frat boy's college party, and surpassing your grade the next day, like it was nothing to him. Like it was the norm. Because for him, it was. It always was. It was as if he had never had to think; he just knew.
On top of partying selfishly every weekend, you knew another thing: he smoked. Like a lot. Not just casually, but also not to the point of addiction. Anytime he came into class, you could smell the faint tinge of weed on his clothes from wherever he just come from. You'd never even think to let a blunt touch your lips, because weed makes you dumb, and you would never take that risk and ruin your brain that way. But sometimes, when the excruciating scent of marijuana he emitted began interfering with your senses and caused you headaches, you wondered how all the smoking he did could possibly do him any good. Even smelling it felt like you could hear the teacher's words mushing together into one big melty mess, and your head felt all floaty. But regardless, it didn't matter, because Hollis Frazier was still, undeniably, smarter than you.
ᡕᠵデᡁ᠊╾━ ~~~
Leaving your last class for the day, you decided to treat yourself to some food of actual substance rather than the deer ankle and raccoon knee crap being served in the dining hall. Walking to the closest local cafe with your friend, taking the longer route on account of avoiding anyone you guys know, you fail horribly when you see Hollis out of the corner of your eye, posted up on the wall, passing a blunt around with what seems to be his friends and some other randoms. You speed up unconsciously, as if the smoke was forcibly curling into your lungs and seeping out as exhaled hatred.
"Gosh, y/n, can you slow down?" You look back, sighing as you realize the distance you created between yourself and your friend, while making a pitiful attempt to escape from the guy you have a tragic one-sided beef with.
Walking into the cafe, you finally feel rejuvenated when the smell of fresh pastries envelops your senses. It wasnt like you were stressed out with your studies, but getting time off from the workload was always nice once in a while. As you skimmed over the menu, examining the plethora of options that the cafe offered as if you hadn't been here several times before, seeking out to try something new for once, you eventually decided on a Mediterranean wrap with grilled chicken, hummus, cucumber, and tomato. Eating healthy was one of the things that was primarily important to you, because putting any overly sugary crap in your system could interfere with your sleep, and then with your grades. It was really important to you that you kept yourself healthy, so you'd never have to miss a day of class and miss out on anything that could be important to your future exams. You never would even think to depend on anyone in your class, because how would you? Why would you ever ask for dependence on someone academically beneath you? Regardless, they should be the ones depending on you, never the other way around. Thats how you lose your place.
Telling the waiter your order and returning the menus, you decide to pause on being lost in your thoughts to humor your friend, begging you to go out with her for the 13th time.
"Come on, you always wanna be so tense when it comes to me asking you to go anywhere that isnt here, the library and back!!" She throws her hands up in mock distress as you look past her and out of the window, taking a sip of your lemon water sitting on the table.
"That's not true, we go to pilates class together, and remember we did that pottery thing? What else could there be to do?" You knew exactly what she would say, but you hoped she wouldnt so you wouldn't have to reject the invitation with a made-up excuse for the umpteenth time.
"Sorry, I have a test to study for."
"Can't. Sorry. I have to revise."
"I have laundry to do today!"
It's not that you didn't want to spend time with her; of course, you did. You love your friend; you aren't some type of big jerk. But her begging you to go out for once, whether it was the bar or the club, would do no good for you, and you didnt wanna take the risk of potentially staying out too long or getting in with the wrong crowd. Parties were the one thing you couldn't be easily swayed on; you didn't see the benefit that could come out of them, so anytime someone asked, you generally ended up coming up with some type of justification on why you had to miss out.
But sometimes, when you sat in your dorm, watching your roommate come home drunk and covered in glitter at 2 am for the third Saturday in a row, while you crammed for the next assessment, you wondered what it would be like to experience it. It seems like she was able to balance it just fine, so you wondered if you'd be able to too. But you knew it wasnt worth the risk, so you looked back at the notebook with messily-written notes, and continued studying.
ᡕᠵデᡁ᠊╾━ ~~~
a/n: HAII ! this is my first fic and first time writing, so be nice to me frfr this took me probably like 6...7... days (jk) 𓁹‿𓁹… but anyways, i didn’t want this to be too too long because its more of an introduction, also i know people don’t like the idea of y/n being characterized so its easier to self insert but the identity is kind of crucial to the plot, but if y’all don’t prefer that lmk and ill sort it out in later chapters :3 also if y’all have any ideas for how u want it to go lmk, i have a couple but talk to me!! i love to talk!! i wanna talk!! but yeah this is getting long so I’m gonna end it here bye <2
nate sih drop some new musih ❤️
