My entire life I’ve wanted to grow up, get a formal education, work. But this past year has been full of many realizations that money actually isn’t as important as I’ve been taught to think. Like my parents used to instill in me that basically if you don’t get a job that pays well then you’re not really doing anything with your life. In a way, I definitely see why they think that it’s important and why they would try to teach their kids that. But recently, it’s just like. Amazing. To realize that happiness comes from other sources, like being yourself and doing what you want, rather than what you “should” be doing. And that’s the biggest thing i think I’ve ever learned. Was to do what I think, what I care about. I also think that has been the source of my anxiety for well like my entire life. Always thinking in not supposed to be like this, I’m supposed to be like this, they expect me to be like this, which caused me to shut down a lot. Because I wasn’t that person. And I’m still not. I’ll never be my family’s dream child, anyones dream girl, or anyone’s idea of a perfect person. But when I am me, when I’ve accepted the person I actually am, the outcome is far greater than trying to morph myself into some mold that will be pleasing to others. Because being myself is more natural and it’s better than living my life trying to change who I am. Like maybe I’ll never be able to talk to people a whole lot, maybe I won’t ever have that many friends, or maybe I’ll never have the ability to remember things well, but if I’m comfortable with it, then that’s ok. It’s just ok and there’s not much else to say about it. Accepting is living.
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