tell the wolves i'm home.

"wolves don't lose any sleep over the opinions of sheep." AUTUMN BIANCA LOGAN twenty something again werewolf, personal trainer, mother

[alexsiyamathis]

“Excuse you, but I’m offended you think I possess the ability to be that obnoxious. I don’t like those kind of people. Those are the types who should be banned from every restaurant in existence. Yeah, I’m still not thinking this is a good idea.” She playfully narrowed her gaze. “Oh, you went to culinary school? Well, that just changes everything. I’ll try it, but I’m forewarning you, I know people so if you poison me, you won’t get away with it,” she teased.

[autumnxlogan]

Letting out a soft laugh, Autumn shook her head at the other woman’s short rant. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry Lex.” She grinned, pushing the plate out more towards her. “I swear I would never poison you, especially with all of those people you know hanging over my head.” She smirked, a light laugh leaving her lips as she joked with the other woman.

[lonewolfavery-blog]

“I do trust you,” Avery agreed with a gentle smile. “But I’ve tried a few of these before and it wasn’t my thing. Are you sure this is something I’ll like?”

[autumnxlogan]

“I’m sure, honey.” She smiled, pushing the plate closer to her old friend. “If you don’t I’ll make your favorite cupcakes, how’s that?”

[autumnxlogan]

Here you are now, calling me up, but I don't know what to say I've been picking up the pieces of the mess you made People like you always want back the love they pushed aside But people like me are gone forever when you say g o o d b y e Stay, hey, all you had to do was stay Had me in the { palm of your hand } Then, why'd you had to go and lock me o u t when I let you i n Stay, hey, now you say you want it back now that it's just too late Well could've been easy all you had to do was stay Let me remind you this was what you wanted: you ended it You were all I wanted, but not like this... not like this

Oh, all you had to do was stay

[alexsiyamathis]

“Call me crazy, but ‘trust me’ is not enough to make me try something when I’m not even sure what it is. I’m going to need more than ‘old family recipe’ to take a bite of that.” 

[autumnxlogan]

“But if I tell you what’s in it then you might pull one of those ‘well I don’t like that one ingredient that’s barely in there so I’m not gonna try it’ thing. I”ll tell you everything that’s in it once you try it but not a bite before.” She smiled, “Besides. It’s me. I went to culinary school and everything, I can be trusted.”

[juanesxesteban]

       “That’s sushi? – I don’t like raw anything.” Her memories were coming back – her likes and dislikes came with that. She wondered if she was suppose to share this news with people or just keep acting like nothing had changed at all. “Fine just cause it’s you.” She gave in picking up a sushi and popping it into her mouth. It wasn’t that bad, kind of crunchy in a way. “What have you been up to?”

[autumnxlogan]

“You can’t say you don’t like it until you’ve tried it. It might surprise you.” Autumn pointed out, her grin widening as Eliza agreed to try it for her. “So!” She asked almost immediately after the piece of food had been placed in the other woman’s mouth. “Do you like it?” The words came out fast and enthusiastically, causing even Autumn to laugh at herself. “Honestly? I’ve been holed up in my room hiding away from everything and eating. Totally healthy way to cope, right?”

[tobiasmartel]

        “ – I feel like a lot of people are checking up on me – did you all think I was just going to crumble down and break?” This fucking body of hers just brought back all her insecurities she had once had. The whole not being as strong as her brothers or not being able to carry her own weight. “Sorry I don’t mean to snap – long week.”

[autumnxlogan]

Autumn smiled gently at the woman, shaking her head as she pulled off her own boxing gloves and set them down to take a drink from her water bottle. “I doubt anything thinks you’re going to break down. We all know you’re too strong for that. But losing family is rough... so I just wanted to see how you were doing and if you needed anything.”

[lux-cole-blog]

“I did. My surprise was just the same when I saw them,” Lux replied in a matter of fact manner. “Oh you don’t have to get me anything. I can call a nurse or something. I don’t wanna bother you.”

[autumnxlogan]

“I bet.” The young again wolf frowned slightly, “But you’re not bothering me at all. Really. Is there anything you need or want? I’m happy to get it for you. Besides, nurses take forever.”

[jax-tyler-blog]

Finding You Again | Jax & Autumn

[jax-tyler-blog]

Autumn’s words fit like cold glass, straight to his heart. He knew that Autumn would not be happy to see him… he knew that she was going to yell at him or probably never talk to him ever again. Jackson knew all these things but he still couldn’t help it. There she was, standing right in front of him. He felt like he was an addict getting their fill, just by having her here. The blonde man had assumed he would never get to see her ever again, that he had ruined his chances at love, forever. But with Autumn standing here in front of him, and although she was angry with him.. he still held onto hope that maybe now things could change or be fixed. 

Jackson often thought about the moment he would see Autumn again, her eyes worn from age, her black hair with small strands of grey in it. Yet he never imagined, even in his wildest dreams that he would get to see her looking the same way he had always known her. He wasn’t sure how to reply to her comment, or how to make her believe that he really did miss her. 

Every time he wanted to say something bold out loud, like professing his love, his ego got in the way. His pride stopped him from sinking down to his knees that at very moment and demanding Autumn take him back. His pride stopped him from crying and telling her how much his life was lacking without her.

“Yes. I am glad to see you,” He replied quietly. Jackson looked up into her icy blue eyes, and felt tears well up in his eyes. The blonde looked away, not wanting to show any signs of weakness around Autumn. He sighed deeply and shook his head, what a stupid young man he had been. What a foolish, stupid boy. “I’m not the same I once was,” He clasped his hands together massaging his thumbs, still feeling like that older man he was- although his facial features didn’t show it. “I was a foolish boy Aut.” He sighed deeply and looked up at the stars for a moment before looking back into her eyes. “I wanted to see the world…I wasn’t ready to be desperately head over heels in love.” The thought sank into his stomach and formed a deep pain that made him feel like he was going to throw up. “I thought I was doing us both a good deed by allowing us to see more of the world. I didn’t want you to end up knocked up and pregnant in your twenties..” His words was quiet as he spoke and filled with nostalgia and regret. “I was stupid,” Jackson said bitterly, looking closer into her glossy blue eyes searching for forgiveness.

[autumnxlogan]

She’d imagined this moment a million times and a million different ways. She’d meet him again in the street while she was with the boys, or run into him at a bookstore while in search of the next novel her book club was reading, any way she pictured it throughout the years it’d always been dramatic and she never told him about their children. She’d wanted to at first, when she found out she was pregnant all she had wanted way to go and find him, try and reconcile their relationship so that they could be a family. But then she remembered how he had left her because of her want for a family and she had decided to keep the news, and the boys, to herself. After all, he’d already left her once and she wasn’t going to put her children through the pain of losing a father when he wasn’t ready for the responsibility. 

So instead, when the boys were old enough to ask why they only had one parent when most of their friends had two, Autumn did something she wasn’t proud of. She lied. She told them that their father was a wonderful man who had loved them very much, but had to go away... but that didn’t make him love them any less. Of course, as they’d gotten older they’d pushed and pushed to find out who their actual father was and why he wasn’t around, and the most heartbreaking day of Autumn’s life as a mother happened. She had to tell them the truth... about everything. They had been furious with their mother for not only lying to them but for continuing to keep their father’s identity a secret from them. But it was just something she couldn’t do. She couldn’t face Jackson after all of those years, so instead she dealt with the tension in the house for the next couple of months until it all blew over.

But as the last sentence about him not wanting her to end up pregnant in her twenties left Jax’s lips, Autumn felt like she’d been punch in the stomach and a hand came up to rest on the spot. That was exactly what had happened and hearing him actually say the words again, almost twenty years later, only served as proof that she’d made the right choice in not allowing him to know about their children - no, her children. Her boys.

“Well..” Autumn took a deep breath, breathing out the words as she spoke, “I’m sorry but I’m not sure I can return the sentiment.” Her expression had softened but the coolness still hadn’t completely left her eyes. She wanted to forgive him, she really did, especially since he’d wronged her so long ago and she’d since fell in love and gotten married - she had been truly happy in her life. But when her wife died she’d found herself back in that hole of despair, familiar to her only because it was similar to the one that Jackson had left her in when he left. “I’m not mad at you anymore, Jackson. Things happened between us years ago and we can’t change them... but I’ll be honest. I didn’t plan on seeing you while I was here. I didn’t want to.” Her lips pulled down into a frown as she kept her eyes locked on his, her own dark brown hues becoming glossy as emotions began to rise up within her that she’d thought had been dealt with long ago. “You may have been foolish but you made your choice.”

[isis---silva]

“You look like a crazy person. Do you know what happens when the crazy person says trust me? Someone dies.” It was after she spoke the words that she cringed. Someone had died. She needed a filter. “What the hell, I’ll try it. Never really been a fan of food that looks like it’s been chewed up and spit back out, but don’t knock it until you try it, right?” 

[autumnxlogan]

Autumn flinched at her words, her smile faltering only for a moment but coming right back when she agreed to try it. “It’s just ground turkey. I promise it’s good. I mean, it beats ramen and easy mac by a landslide.” 

[danmoreau]

Dan laughed as she looked at the plate of food being thrust at her. “Whoa A, I’m not that hungry, but thanks. I can’t be your guardian if I’m too full to get off the couch.”

[autumnxlogan]

“It’s not that much. C’mon, it’s actually really good for you so you won’t be too full to get off the couch.” She pouted a little bit as she continued to hold the plate close to the other woman. “I made too much, anyways. Please take it.”

[autumnxlogan]

[cfmusings-blog]

                  know that i loved you                         know that it was not enough                                i wished that it was enough

[jax-tyler-blog]

Finding You Again | Jax & Autumn

[jax-tyler-blog]

Even after Autumn replied to his words, he couldn’t find anymore. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights- paralyzed by her beauty. Coming back to the reunion he should have realized that he would be seeing his black-haired long lost lover again. But nothing prepared him for the moment that their eyes met, for the moment that her voice spoke his name aloud. The guardian had seen this moment playing over a million times in his mind, hoping that he could get the chance to tell her how much he missed her. To tell her how much he loved her and regretted what he did. At the time when they broke up just before graduation Jackson hadn’t wanted anything to do with marriage or children. He had run away from all responsibilities and commitment to a future. 

Soon after, as the years started to go by and his body started to wear with age, it became clear to Jackson had foolish he had been to loose Autumn, the woman he loved. The man moved his body closer to the black-haired beauty, taking her in reflection for a moment. She looked the exact same as she had the day he stood on the door step of her dorm room and broke her heart. He felt a pain so deeply in his stomach, as his mind replayed his moment again and again until it burned a hole in his mind. 

Jackson wasn’t sure what to say… or where to start. How did one begin to make up for lost time, for twenty years of separation. Did she have a husband? Maybe children? Would be welcome him with open arms or curse his name. He walked closer to her slowly, until he was face to face with Autumn. “It’s really good to see you,” Is all that left his lips and he hit himself for not being brave enough to say more.

[autumnxlogan]

She’d been dreading this moment the instant she decided to go to the reunion. She hadn’t seen Jackson, the once love of her life and the father of her children, since the day he’d broken her heart and left her crying on her own doorstep. She almost hadn’t come because of this, the chance that they would have to see each other again, but the draw to see all of her other friends was too strong - stronger than the need to stay away from him. But standing there in the garden with the man who looked exactly as he did the day he broke her heart, she regretted the decision more than she did when she woke up and was in her twenties again. It’d been absolutely horrifying as she had two teenagers at home, and now she almost looked their age. She couldn't go back like this, so she had to make other arrangements for her boys, sending them off to stay with her parents in England for the summer in hopes that she would be back to normal before the next school year started. 

But as Autumn stared into the familiar eyes of the man who broke her heart, all she felt was pain. The pain of her heartbreaking was brought back to the surface after being stuffed deep down into her for all of these years and the fact that it all came back so easily only served to irritate her more. She’d already had to live with the fact that Caden had his eyes and Hunter had his smile, she’d had to see parts of him in their sons every day and it killed her. They were reminders of the love she’d once coveted so strongly and has lost so quickly, and while there were parts of her that were still so angry with Jackson for what he did and how he did it, there was still love in her heart for him. After all, he’d unknowingly given her the one thing she’d wanted the most: motherhood. 

“Is it?” She asked after a moment of silence, her eyes finally breaking away from his as she looked down to the ground. Her tone came out a lot colder than she’d intended, but she never got to confront him about the pain he’d caused her, and having to look at him the way he had been all those years ago simply brought it all back to the surface. “Because the last time I saw you I’m pretty sure I got the vibe that you never wanted to see me again.”

[jax-tyler-blog]

Finding You Again | Jax & Autumn

Jackson hadn’t been happy with his life, after graduating from university his life really hadn’t gone anywhere. He majored in creative writing and tried his best over and over again to find write a successful book. Yet the blonde man never found the success that he had dreamed of. And at forty years old Jackson found himself working in a bookshop, informing customers as to the best books out and watching his life go by. So when he had gotten the opportunity to come to the reunion he was extremely excited to see what everyone else was doing and to try to relive his glory days. Even more so, when the spell was struck sending him back to his former years, Jackson felt as though he had a new opportunity to rewrite his life and be the successful author he had always wanted to be. 

The blonde man was wondering the university’s gardens when he saw someone in the darkness. He had been so consumed in his thoughts he hadn’t expected to see anyone there. As he walked closer it was as though he was seeing a ghost. “Autumn?” His words were quiet and his voice almost shook as he saw the face of the woman that had haunted his memories ever since he had let her go twenty years earlier.

@autumnxlogan

[autumnxlogan]

Autumn felt horrible. She’d been so caught up in her own life - in her boys and explaining why she couldn’t come home to her family - that she hadn’t even realized that two people had lost their lives. It was incredibly selfish and out of character for her, something that she had been reminding herself of over and over ever since her conversation with Elijah. She had needed a moment to herself after that, to collect her thoughts and calm herself down... but really, to just cry in peace instead of out in the open for everyone to see. People had already thought of her as weak, she knew that, but she didn’t need to give anyone even more reason to think that she hadn’t hardened throughout the years.

She’d smelled his scent before he spoke and had stilled in hopes that he would walk right by her, but when he stopped and spoke her name a familiar feeling of nostalgia and pain caused a knot to form in her stomach. Quickly wiping her eyes, the young again wolf turn and put on an obviously fake smile for the man she once loved. “Jackson. Hi.”

[josiahwarrington-blog]

“It looks really gross” he looks at it, “What if you like, poisoned it or something?” 

[autumnxlogan]

“Why would I poison it? Here, I’ll eat some first and then you try it.”

[tobiasmartel]

       “Are you just going to point out the obvious today, Autumn?”

[autumnxlogan]

“No.” She said simply, shaking her head as she looked over at Amelia. “I wanted to see how you were doing after everything?”

[hoaxwings]

        Hadn’t anyone picked up a newspaper? People called him heartless but this was a new all time low for Autumn. “Athena and Damien.” 

[autumnxlogan]

“Oh my god.” Her hand came up to cover her mouth, a deep frown etching into her features. “H-How?” She’d been so focused on making sure her sons had a place to stay with her family and checking up on them that she hadn’t thought of anything else, a realization that made her feel absolutely horrible and selfish as it began to set in.